I Just Want a Function @sciencewithtom
I Just Want a Function  @sciencewithtom
Uploaded December 2008 | Updated September 2026, 17 hours ago
Want your knowledge to grow as fast as a population of Big Cane Toads? Tom's got you covered in this science-ified version of "I Just Wanna Love You (Give it 2 Me)" by Jay Z. ↓ More info and resources below ↓

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Chorus:
I'm a population - of big cane toads.
It aint where I live, but where I'm about to grow.
I just want a function, to show who I am,
To see if I'll crash, or if I'll expand.

So give it to me,
Gimme that function, tell me how the species gonna grow and such.
Its Ecology
Gimme that function, tell how the species gonna grow and stuff.

Verse:
When there's a chaos in the system,
Aint no tellin will I boom or face extinction,
That's why I be yellin, my "r is one", as far as relations,
Makin them above the rate of replacement uh.

N(0)e^rt fits, t and r on e
Keep the exponential models graph on me
Blowin up in the habitat singing off key that
There are no constraints on my growth.

Getting bigger, but after another round,
Growths about to slow down.
As we get close to K, 12 toads away away,
Toad on toad competition - theme of the day.

What do you know? Cane toads be outcompetin
Every single native animal we seein, like
Betas 2, alpha 0.5,
Native populations goin for a dive.

Chorus X 2
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I Just Want a Function

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