Uploaded June 2024 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Ralphie is his name and destroying his possessions is his game.
I want to apologize that Muffins still isn't on my Patreon. I struggle with avoidance, which is a response to trauma. it's not a healthy way of dealing with trauma. but since all that stuff happened to me on the computer, I am avoiding the computer, not by choice. trauma changes the brain, and what these people did to me was rewire my brain to associate the computer with danger, which triggers my fight or flight response, and forces me to avoid it. I don't know how to deal with this, not even with therapy. but I've tried to get on the computer a couple times, but it didn't stick. I've been doing and posting everything from my phone. I'll always be asking why they did this to me, and I'll want a logical answer, but it'll always be "for the lulz." I just want my brain to go back to the way it was. I don't want to be afraid of even more things. I have projects to do on the computer, I'm wasting my life by avoiding them. I'm wasting away. hopefully a new baby will bring in some joy. you have no idea the amount of damage you've done.
"the way you treat [people] is what they become." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Ralphie is his name and destroying his possessions is his game.
I want to apologize that Muffins still isn't on my Patreon. I struggle with avoidance, which is a response to trauma. it's not a healthy way of dealing with trauma. but since all that stuff happened to me on the computer, I am avoiding the computer, not by choice. trauma changes the brain, and what these people did to me was rewire my brain to associate the computer with danger, which triggers my fight or flight response, and forces me to avoid it. I don't know how to deal with this, not even with therapy. but I've tried to get on the computer a couple times, but it didn't stick. I've been doing and posting everything from my phone. I'll always be asking why they did this to me, and I'll want a logical answer, but it'll always be "for the lulz." I just want my brain to go back to the way it was. I don't want to be afraid of even more things. I have projects to do on the computer, I'm wasting my life by avoiding them. I'm wasting away. hopefully a new baby will bring in some joy. you have no idea the amount of damage you've done.
"the way you treat [people] is what they become." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
