Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago
Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word.
Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike.
Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, _Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction,_ she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to_ start_ learning them.
In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice
➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced
➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you
➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills)
➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is
➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off
➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points
➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships
In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous.
This… is _A Bit of Optimism._
+ + +
Watch _A Bit of Optimism_ on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free.
To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, _Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction,_ head to: scienceofpeople.com/conversation
Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: scienceofpeople.com
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Chapters
00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis
00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert
00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills
00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go?
00:11:21 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone
00:14:17 The Most Critical Time to Learn Social Skills
00:16:48 Social Friction at Work: Hidden Productivity Killer
00:18:58 The Discomfort With Being Uncomfortable
00:21:33 The Business Card Trick: Creating Conditions vs. Being Charming
00:36:07 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition
00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like
00:46:56 The Man Who Stayed: How Love Taught Self-Love
00:49:51 The Antidote to Awkwardness Is Helping Someone Else
00:58:32 Why You Have to Push Your Boundaries
00:06:22 Start With What You're Already Good At
+ + +
Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including _Start With Why,_ _Leaders Eat Last,_ _Together is Better,_ and _The Infinite Game._
+ + +
Website:simonsinek.com
Leaderful: simonsinek.com/leaderful
Podcast:apple.co/simonsinek
Instagram:instagram.com/simonsinek
Linkedin:linkedin.com/in/simonsinek
Twitter:twitter.com/simonsinek
Facebook:facebook.com/simonsinek
Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word.
Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike.
Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, _Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction,_ she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to_ start_ learning them.
In this episode you'll learn:
➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice
➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced
➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you
➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills)
➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is
➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off
➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points
➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships
In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous.
This… is _A Bit of Optimism._
+ + +
Watch _A Bit of Optimism_ on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free.
To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, _Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction,_ head to: scienceofpeople.com/conversation
Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: scienceofpeople.com
+ + +
Chapters
00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis
00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert
00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills
00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go?
00:11:21 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone
00:14:17 The Most Critical Time to Learn Social Skills
00:16:48 Social Friction at Work: Hidden Productivity Killer
00:18:58 The Discomfort With Being Uncomfortable
00:21:33 The Business Card Trick: Creating Conditions vs. Being Charming
00:36:07 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition
00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like
00:46:56 The Man Who Stayed: How Love Taught Self-Love
00:49:51 The Antidote to Awkwardness Is Helping Someone Else
00:58:32 Why You Have to Push Your Boundaries
00:06:22 Start With What You're Already Good At
+ + +
Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including _Start With Why,_ _Leaders Eat Last,_ _Together is Better,_ and _The Infinite Game._
+ + +
Website:simonsinek.com
Leaderful: simonsinek.com/leaderful
Podcast:apple.co/simonsinek
Instagram:instagram.com/simonsinek
Linkedin:linkedin.com/in/simonsinek
Twitter:twitter.com/simonsinek
Facebook:facebook.com/simonsinek
