Uploaded February 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
(Because remember, it’s important to embody what you want to attract!)
#1 - Emotional regulationDo you take responsibility for regulating your nervous system, or do you subconsciously expect your partner to do it for you when you are feeling big feelings?
#2 - Self-clarity
Do you know what your needs and desires are in life and in a relationship? Get clear on your non-negotiables and direction in life so you can attract someone who’s aligned with that vision.
#3 - Gratitude
What do you tend to focus more on, the negatives or the positives in others? The practice of saying aloud what you admire in your partner does wonders for keeping your bond close and resilient.
#4 - Active listening
An IMPORTANT one! When in conflict, do you prioritize listening to understand, instead of just to respond?#5 - Accountability
How frequently do you apologize (unprompted) when you’ve made a mistake? The repair process in any relationship speaks volumes about its ability to last in a healthy state.
And if you liked this list, hit the subscribe button and stay tuned for more relationship tips and communication tools from a therapist of almost 30 years!
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
🌸 Up-level your impact and achieve your goals: terricole.com/flourish
📚 Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbook.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📚 Get my books:
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: hfcbook.com
🪔 Meditate with me:
Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
Connect With Me
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
(Because remember, it’s important to embody what you want to attract!)
#1 - Emotional regulationDo you take responsibility for regulating your nervous system, or do you subconsciously expect your partner to do it for you when you are feeling big feelings?
#2 - Self-clarity
Do you know what your needs and desires are in life and in a relationship? Get clear on your non-negotiables and direction in life so you can attract someone who’s aligned with that vision.
#3 - Gratitude
What do you tend to focus more on, the negatives or the positives in others? The practice of saying aloud what you admire in your partner does wonders for keeping your bond close and resilient.
#4 - Active listening
An IMPORTANT one! When in conflict, do you prioritize listening to understand, instead of just to respond?#5 - Accountability
How frequently do you apologize (unprompted) when you’ve made a mistake? The repair process in any relationship speaks volumes about its ability to last in a healthy state.
And if you liked this list, hit the subscribe button and stay tuned for more relationship tips and communication tools from a therapist of almost 30 years!
🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: terricole.com/tcm
🌸 Up-level your impact and achieve your goals: terricole.com/flourish
📚 Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbook.com
📚 Too Much Book: hfcbook.com
📚 Get my books:
Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: hfcbook.com
🪔 Meditate with me:
Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
Connect With Me
📸 Instagram: terricole.com/ig
📩 Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see terricole.com
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
terricole.com/gethelp -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
