Uploaded September 2026 | Updated September 2026, 6 hours ago
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: Conflict is not toxic or immoral. In fact, it's generative and the lifeblood of our relationships. It isn't something to avoid. It matters, and it can even bring us closer together. Priya Parker, author of The Art of Fighting, joins Esther to dig into how conflict can be a productive force in our relationships rather than something to fear.
Chapters
00:00 Why Do Good Relationships Need Conflict?
02:32 What Comes After The Art of Gathering?
03:18 What If Conflict Means We Care?
05:55 Is Peace Always a Good Thing?
09:51 What Does Healthy Heat Look Like?
12:12 Are You Having the Wrong Fight?
13:42 What Happens When a Friend Goes Silent?
16:55 Can a Grudge Become a Clearing?
21:28 What Is Your Anger Really Asking For?
22:59 Why Do Groups Need Conflict?
24:34 What Are We Really Fighting For?
25:35 Why Do Gatherings Bring Conflict to the Surface?
25:53 Why Do Happy Occasions Spark Fights?
27:20 What Happens When Friendship Stops Feeling Reciprocal?
30:58 Can Love Change How We See the Conflict?
33:22 Can You Say Goodbye and Stay Connected?
35:00 What Happens When Relationships Become Loose Threads?
37:24 What Happens When Esther Calls Anand?
39:55 Can Two Big Careers Share the Spotlight?
43:40 What Can Partners Teach Each Other About Conflict?
48:25 What Makes a Creative Couple Work?
50:24 What Does It Mean to Keep Trying?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack Entre Nous for bonus content.
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: Conflict is not toxic or immoral. In fact, it's generative and the lifeblood of our relationships. It isn't something to avoid. It matters, and it can even bring us closer together. Priya Parker, author of The Art of Fighting, joins Esther to dig into how conflict can be a productive force in our relationships rather than something to fear.
Chapters
00:00 Why Do Good Relationships Need Conflict?
02:32 What Comes After The Art of Gathering?
03:18 What If Conflict Means We Care?
05:55 Is Peace Always a Good Thing?
09:51 What Does Healthy Heat Look Like?
12:12 Are You Having the Wrong Fight?
13:42 What Happens When a Friend Goes Silent?
16:55 Can a Grudge Become a Clearing?
21:28 What Is Your Anger Really Asking For?
22:59 Why Do Groups Need Conflict?
24:34 What Are We Really Fighting For?
25:35 Why Do Gatherings Bring Conflict to the Surface?
25:53 Why Do Happy Occasions Spark Fights?
27:20 What Happens When Friendship Stops Feeling Reciprocal?
30:58 Can Love Change How We See the Conflict?
33:22 Can You Say Goodbye and Stay Connected?
35:00 What Happens When Relationships Become Loose Threads?
37:24 What Happens When Esther Calls Anand?
39:55 Can Two Big Careers Share the Spotlight?
43:40 What Can Partners Teach Each Other About Conflict?
48:25 What Makes a Creative Couple Work?
50:24 What Does It Mean to Keep Trying?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack Entre Nous for bonus content.
