Uploaded January 2010 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
If you fight this guy with godhand or god reels, you're ruining it.
dainegai
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God Hand vs Devil Hand
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![Valkyria Chronicles - Barious Desert Expert Skirmish [1 Turn]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jxh-yMtbRn0/mqdefault.jpg "Valkyria Chronicles - Barious Desert Expert Skirmish [1 Turn]
Alternate clickbait title: This level takes over 10 real-time days to beat in one turn!
The excessive length comes from waiting until tanks explode from other enemy interception fire. The worst offender is the easternmost Tank Destroyer (the one that removes the first two Tank Destroyers and the Scout) given the awkward angle from the shooting Tank Destroyer to the targets radiator, it takes roughly ~5-7 minutes to deal 1 HP of damage!
The first two tank destroyers are done in parallel and are a bit quicker 1min/HP and ~2.5min/HP. The last one goes at a much faster clip, at ~15 HP/min. With 1900 HP per tank, you end up breaching 240 hours of idle time to move things along.
(These values are a bit rougher than they could be because I unfortunately lost runs with actual clock timings, so I sped the tank explosion waiting when redoing the runs.)
Other noteworthy tidbits:
# Engineer/Demolition Man potential
Blowing up the Shock on Action 1 *greatly* simplifies Actions 3 and 4. If that Shock is kept alive, he will go North toward the middle of the map/the Engineer, so wed have to have a unit ready to intercept.
Achieving that would involve:
1. having the Engineer make a detour during Action 3 to just *barely* defeat the Scout hidden by the rocks with 4 body-shots before lining things up to have first the Anti-Tank Cannon and then the Tank Destroyer explode from the top Tank Destroyer interception. (There isnt enough AP to extend the detour enough to allow for the Engineer to go for a headshot, so itd have to connect at least 4 body shots out of 7 a less than 5% chance for all eligible Engineers.)
2. Wavy would have to blow up the Tank Destroyer from the natural rock wall formation (theres barely a spot to line up a small section of the radiator) and then head back down to be ready to intercept the Shock, with enough HP to survive a flamethrower hit. This would also involve a 4/7 shot success rate, which is again a less than 5% chance for Wavy.
...All that said, it is *very* convenient that the grenade blast radius is enough to hit the Shock on Turn 1, and that Claudia has both Demolition Man and Invincible (the boost from Demolition Man is needed to actually defeat the Shock).
# Clipping/Team Attacks
The other important trick here is abusing team attacks and clipping through objects. When initiating team attacks against tanks, supporting units will aim for the radiator if they have line of sight. Conveniently, the radius for initiating the team attack is large enough so that the supporting unit can be behind a tank destroyer while the initiating unit can clip through the tank while still having the cursor stay on the tank (open white crosshairs usually indicates that the clipping is successful). This is used to set up the two two-tanks-with-one-action team attacks with Alicia and Aika.
Some other fun details that made this viable:
- There are exactly three Scouts that have Double Movement and Resist Crossfire, and we end up needing exactly three. The former is needed to position units, and the latter is needed to stay alive through the interception fire of the middle Scout and various tanks.
- Alicias Valkyria potential increases anti-armor damage enough to be able to manage the two-tank explosion with a carefully lined up shot, and to make the last team-attack a *bit* more feasible.
- Alicias Mysterious Body makes it possible to be able to get into position for said team-attack while being able to step off the mine and get into position for the enemy phase.
Action-by-action breakdown in the below pastebin link (Im still not entirely sure about the enemy AI targeting note or whether its (also) a distance thing that makes the enemy Sniper attack Alicia instead of Aika, but hey :p):
https://pastebin.com/a0W87Pw9
Satisfying to put this all together to make a (pretty ridiculous) 1-turn strategy!
(Technical notes: This is the PC version running 1280x720 windowed at 60 FPS (60 Hz monitor; framerate at refresh rate), VSync off. [Evasion seems to sometimes get really wacky/buggy if the game isnt run at 1280x720, hence the lower resolution.])")
