MafiaGravity | [GMV] Albedo | Monster @MafiaGravity | Uploaded December 2021 | Updated October 2024, 3 days ago.
this is sort of a vent-ish edit but at the same time, i wanted to edit to albedo because i really enjoyed the event a lot ❤️

but to explain - lately i've been feeling really angry and frustrated because i tried so hard for others only for people to walk out of my life because they see me as this "monster" but i guess they just come in and out through my door whenever they feel like. i've lost a couple of close friends already due to similar behavior that i feel i cannot save or help at all. so i left it there and moved on.
now i am scared word will spread and more people will leave me. what did i do to deserve this? am i at fault? am i truly a monster people perceive me as?
if people want to leave, be my guest. i'm really tired of trying only for people to throw rocks at me. they want to create their narrative where they are the victim and i am the villain. they want to take everything i do and turn it into shitfest against me by violating my privacy to validate themselves while invalidating my feelings.
i'm tired of losing people. i'm tired of being the punching bag for people. i'm tired of being used and taken for granted. i'm tired....

i've held off on doing this edit because i was swamped with last minute papers. i really tried to hold it in because the shitstorm slapped me in the face midweek. no one understands how much crying i did that night. i wanted to withdraw myself from everything so people can stop remembering me. i only stayed for others' sake. but in reality....i wish no one met me...

i edited to albedo because it shows how albedo is fighting against his imposter or "monster" because his imposter wants to get rid of albedo and take over to enjoy the joy albedo had out of jealousy because the imposter is the "failed experiment" craving for perfection. i'm fighting against my monster that is causing friends to leave me. i don't want to lose more friends. true friends can tell the real helene from the imposter. only true friends fight to keep me. and those who left...they were never genuine in the first place.

program ⇒ vegas pro 19
game ⇒ genshin impact
song ⇒ "monster" by all time low feat. demi lovato and blackbear