Uploaded July 2023 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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♡ A Personal Message From @PajCreations:
This song is near and dear to my heart. I wrote it many moons ago and left it undisturbed to rest, but every time I hear it again, it hits like the first time.

This year has been an incredibly difficult battle for me. I wrestled with diagnoses, severe bouts of suicidal ideation, massive swings in my depression and anxiety...and somewhere in that jumbled mess, I found what love means to me. Love is forgiveness. Compassion. But most of all, love is selfish.

There are times when love will be enough, and there are times when it doesn't feel worth it. Today (and hopefully every day moving forward), I choose myself. I relinquish that desperate, all-consuming passion I buried in you, and I bequeath it unto myself instead.

I am honored to have this humble little ramble of a song brought to life by someone as skillful as Roze. It's not our first time working together nor will it be our last, but I am still gobsmacked every time I give her my measly, watered-down drafts and she fleshes it out into something breathtaking and magical. Also a big thank you to those who suffered through my incessant need for feedback and my absolute naivety with drawing. Nothing here is perfect, but I find that things rarely ever are. I could polish a piece for decades, and I would still find something lacking. So, what I offer instead is my truth. My honesty and my raw, unfiltered emotions. May they strike you with the same fragile peace they brought me.

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✦Music: Drops of Sunshine
✦@PajCreations : Lyrics/Vocals/Music Composition/Art
✦@EternityRoze : Music Composition/Production/Audio Mixing/Animation
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Lyrics:

For a second, I, I could almost breathe
For a second there, I could almost see
Exactly what they mean when they say
Love can leave you lonely

Could you love me just, just a little less?
I swear, I swear | I’m telling you that that is what is best
Because
I can’t keep holding onto this
I can’t keep holding onto you
I can’t pretend that we’re the same
No matter what I say or do

I’m collecting starlight in your eyes
Drops of sunshine when you laugh
And there’s no more going back
It’s you; it’s you; it’s always been you
I can’t ask you to change who you are inside
But I deserve a love that burns like mine
Even if that means
I’m letting go of these
Drops of sunshine

This is always the way, isn’t it?
No wonder we didn’t want to love.
It hurt. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
You never matter as much to other people as they do to you, do you?
When are you going to be enough to make someone stay?
When are you going to be enough for you?
You can't make someone love you, you know.
Either they do, or they don’t.
You don’t get to choose.
You don’t get to make them stay.