Uploaded October 2025 | Updated September 2026, 3 hours ago
"The worst person you know is in the mirror."
Made in FL Studio 21
hopefully youtube didn't screw the quality up too badly
I'M FREEEEEEEEE
HOLY SHIT. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 5 MONTHS. Well maybe not that much, but still.
First of all, I have never been so mentally well in my life before. Holy FUCK, I am so happy. Therapy has been a great help for me. I probably don't need it anymore, but I want to stick with my therapist until I become a proper human being.
I like to put myself in three parts; mental, physical, and property(da money$$$). The max is 1 and the min is -1. Last post, my mental was at like, around 0 to -0.2? But now, it's at a 1 (OH YEAH).
And it's all probably thanks to graduating high school. Thank god. That shit was ass. I'm in college now and I genuinely have never been this happy in my life before. Especially the first day of college.
I don't know how to properly describe it. Campus is so pretty and lively. Not to mention, it was my first time taking public transport too. It just felt so freeing. It was the first time I've ever been so independent. All my teachers are cool and I made a new friend. Hopefully we can actually play terraria like we planned.
On the other hand, my physical and property... ehhh. I can argue that I'm at 0 for property. I'm just a college student right now after all. I do need to look into internships and such though. Hopefully I can get a JOB right after college.
But my physical? Yeah, no. I'm very skinny and don't work out. The working out part I can fix with discipline. But, eating is a much bigger problem that I have to deal with on my own. It probably stems from a much deeper rooted issue or something. I think I just need to stop eating slop. I'm slowly getting a yearning to learn how to cook.
Also, for those who are reading this and know me personally. Stop asking me why don't I eat more or anything like that. I'm being deadass. It's quite annoying and ruins my mood. It doesn't do anything but piss me off.
Unless you want to have an genuine, deep discussion about it, of course. Just know that I am trying.
I will now yap about my song now.
Post-production Thoughts:
This is one of my best works so far. In production, I mean. Never thought I'd understand how an EQ works, but here we are now. If you listen closely, you can here some instruments are "behind" each other while other are in front (don't worry, I can barely tell too). This song has the most patterns, automations, effects compared to my others. Not to mention, 4 whole minutes! waow.
I tried a bunch of new things in this project. Like tempo, nearing the end. Also a bunch of layering. I tried implementing "the good, the bad, and the ugly" motif more, but it didn't work out.
I am quite proud of the drums. I feel like I've been steadily improving on drums. It feels kind of cheap to use breakbeats tbh. Don't get me wrong, it sounds good. But personally I think it's cheap. Anyways, I am also quite proud of the arrangement. My arrangement skills have always been SHIT, but this one is okay at the very least. I thought about transitioning back to the first melody into a fade out at the end , but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that didn't work out.
I really like this one and the process of making it. That's why it gets this super duper awesome and cool thumbnail (I love my fumo). I was gonna save it for something cooler considering it's literally my graduation photo. Oh well.
Nvm I just took a better look at the thumbnail. this photo goes hard. Maybe I shouldn't have used this just yet fuckkkkkkkkkkk.
Razor Lead's Electric 5 might be my new beloved. Those high notes man. It resonates with my brain quite well. It reminds me of desperation. I still love the OdGtLP-JP, but I might use it less now.
that's about it. pink man is next probably.
I almost forgot to say this last part. I'm gonna be trying to make a song a month/ every two months. It's very much within my capabilities. The question is if I can keep it up.
"The worst person you know is in the mirror."
Made in FL Studio 21
hopefully youtube didn't screw the quality up too badly
I'M FREEEEEEEEE
HOLY SHIT. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 5 MONTHS. Well maybe not that much, but still.
First of all, I have never been so mentally well in my life before. Holy FUCK, I am so happy. Therapy has been a great help for me. I probably don't need it anymore, but I want to stick with my therapist until I become a proper human being.
I like to put myself in three parts; mental, physical, and property(da money$$$). The max is 1 and the min is -1. Last post, my mental was at like, around 0 to -0.2? But now, it's at a 1 (OH YEAH).
And it's all probably thanks to graduating high school. Thank god. That shit was ass. I'm in college now and I genuinely have never been this happy in my life before. Especially the first day of college.
I don't know how to properly describe it. Campus is so pretty and lively. Not to mention, it was my first time taking public transport too. It just felt so freeing. It was the first time I've ever been so independent. All my teachers are cool and I made a new friend. Hopefully we can actually play terraria like we planned.
On the other hand, my physical and property... ehhh. I can argue that I'm at 0 for property. I'm just a college student right now after all. I do need to look into internships and such though. Hopefully I can get a JOB right after college.
But my physical? Yeah, no. I'm very skinny and don't work out. The working out part I can fix with discipline. But, eating is a much bigger problem that I have to deal with on my own. It probably stems from a much deeper rooted issue or something. I think I just need to stop eating slop. I'm slowly getting a yearning to learn how to cook.
Also, for those who are reading this and know me personally. Stop asking me why don't I eat more or anything like that. I'm being deadass. It's quite annoying and ruins my mood. It doesn't do anything but piss me off.
Unless you want to have an genuine, deep discussion about it, of course. Just know that I am trying.
I will now yap about my song now.
Post-production Thoughts:
This is one of my best works so far. In production, I mean. Never thought I'd understand how an EQ works, but here we are now. If you listen closely, you can here some instruments are "behind" each other while other are in front (don't worry, I can barely tell too). This song has the most patterns, automations, effects compared to my others. Not to mention, 4 whole minutes! waow.
I tried a bunch of new things in this project. Like tempo, nearing the end. Also a bunch of layering. I tried implementing "the good, the bad, and the ugly" motif more, but it didn't work out.
I am quite proud of the drums. I feel like I've been steadily improving on drums. It feels kind of cheap to use breakbeats tbh. Don't get me wrong, it sounds good. But personally I think it's cheap. Anyways, I am also quite proud of the arrangement. My arrangement skills have always been SHIT, but this one is okay at the very least. I thought about transitioning back to the first melody into a fade out at the end , but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that didn't work out.
I really like this one and the process of making it. That's why it gets this super duper awesome and cool thumbnail (I love my fumo). I was gonna save it for something cooler considering it's literally my graduation photo. Oh well.
Nvm I just took a better look at the thumbnail. this photo goes hard. Maybe I shouldn't have used this just yet fuckkkkkkkkkkk.
Razor Lead's Electric 5 might be my new beloved. Those high notes man. It resonates with my brain quite well. It reminds me of desperation. I still love the OdGtLP-JP, but I might use it less now.
that's about it. pink man is next probably.
I almost forgot to say this last part. I'm gonna be trying to make a song a month/ every two months. It's very much within my capabilities. The question is if I can keep it up.
