Uploaded October 2016 | Updated September 2026, 20 hours ago

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From Macquarie University's Law Revue 2016: Sue A Side Squad.
A courtroom of lawyers teach some new criminals the A-Z of judicial process in the legal system.

MURDERER ♫
My lawyer says that I’m innocent

PERVERT ♫
My lawyer fed me a decent alibi

FRAUDSTER ♫
Payed off the witness

PERVERT ♫
There’s no fingerprints

MURDERER ♫
All those folks I strangled

FRAUDSTER ♫
All that cash I wrangled

PERVERT ♫
Bracelet on my ankle…

CHORUS ♫
So you need Legal [A]id, huh?
For the court process
And [B]eyond all reason, it’s doubtless
Lenien[C]y
Will not save you from custo[D]y
From [E]asement
To armed robbery and The[F]t or
Legal Sociolo[G]y
Oh, the wage of a lawyer’s an
[H]age-old mystery

[I]Eye-witnesses saw you
[J]aywalk
And with every mindless [K]case
We take up new clientè[L]e
The court will try you and conde[M]n ya
Representing an offe[N]der
They gotta prove the legal [O]nus
Or you will soon be a[P]pealing from your cell

[jail bell sounds]

The crime they a[Q]ccused you of
You’re innocent, so a[R]bitration beckons
Due proces[S] is such a bother
Prison sucks and so my [T]eam here
Will make it clear
[U]sually peers, see tears
And true justice perse[V]eres
If you’ve wept, or you smi-le at your trial
It’s you they [W]dub-a-lunatic who is muddled
Jury members like you extremely tearful!

[Black Defendant looks up at jury]

BLACK DEFENDANT ♫
White?

CHORUS ♫
[Y]White?

JUDGE
White? White? We’re all whiter than bread!

CHORUS ♫
Guess, it’s off with his ‘ead! [Z]