Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
“Appealing to his own desire to lead and provide will always be more effective than trying to overcome him in an adversarial way.”
Support the channel by visiting: brianholdsworth.ca/help
In this video, I explore one of the most difficult truths about human nature: our tendency to blame external causes for the problems we create ourselves. From relationships and marriage to business and faith, we instinctively avoid self-examination and instead look for someone else to fault.
Using examples from sports, business, Church authority, and family life, I argue that hierarchy and order are necessary for healthy human relationships—and that many marital conflicts become worse when spouses try to coerce rather than lovingly correct one another.
Timestamps
00:00 – Why we blame everyone but ourselves
00:49 – Self-inflicted problems
02:33 – The public marriage question that sparked this video
03:56 – Justice vs. love in Christian ethics
04:40 – Coaches, players, and authority
05:50 – Why coercion belongs to superiors
07:00 – Why hierarchy is necessary in human society
08:51 – Why families need a head
10:03 – Masculinity, leadership, and natural law
11:25 – How wives should correct husbands
12:51 – The real solution: vulnerability over resentment
Music written and generously provided by Paul Jernberg. Find out more about his work as a composer here: pauljernberg.com
Podcast Version: brianholdsworth.libsyn.com
“Appealing to his own desire to lead and provide will always be more effective than trying to overcome him in an adversarial way.”
Support the channel by visiting: brianholdsworth.ca/help
In this video, I explore one of the most difficult truths about human nature: our tendency to blame external causes for the problems we create ourselves. From relationships and marriage to business and faith, we instinctively avoid self-examination and instead look for someone else to fault.
Using examples from sports, business, Church authority, and family life, I argue that hierarchy and order are necessary for healthy human relationships—and that many marital conflicts become worse when spouses try to coerce rather than lovingly correct one another.
Timestamps
00:00 – Why we blame everyone but ourselves
00:49 – Self-inflicted problems
02:33 – The public marriage question that sparked this video
03:56 – Justice vs. love in Christian ethics
04:40 – Coaches, players, and authority
05:50 – Why coercion belongs to superiors
07:00 – Why hierarchy is necessary in human society
08:51 – Why families need a head
10:03 – Masculinity, leadership, and natural law
11:25 – How wives should correct husbands
12:51 – The real solution: vulnerability over resentment
Music written and generously provided by Paul Jernberg. Find out more about his work as a composer here: pauljernberg.com
Podcast Version: brianholdsworth.libsyn.com
