Uploaded July 2021 | Updated September 2026, 4 hours ago

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Sonic.EXE: Number III

I was a huge Sonic fan when I was little, mainly the classic games, I never played the Adventure games for some reason. So out of curiosity, I decided to purchase a copy of Sonic Adventure 1 off creepy old Larry down the street who was having garage sale. However, when I finally got home and played the game, I noticed two red eyes staring at me right outside my bedroom window. I then proceeded to crap my pants in terror. I started hearing "Can You Feel The Sunshine?" from Sonic R. I also noticed a peculiar doll that bared a striking resemblance to Tails from Sonic 2 was sitting right next to me. I would've cleaned up all the mess I had made, but I was too scared to get up and run to the bathroom. I was very afraid that my life was going to end that night.

I stopped looking at the Tails doll and payed attention to my television. I saw there was a news report on a series of murders that happened in the town I was in. Then my TV screen started flashing really fast and I suddenly saw the words "ROUND 3". I saw what looked to be Sonic with bloody eyes, so I got up and went to my bathroom to get Sonic some eyedrops. Sonic used the eyedrops and his eyes were no longer bloody. Afterwards, Sonic spoke to me and told me that he committed all those murders in my town unintentionally because he was unable see. It angered him. He then thanked me for fixing his eyes, so he took Tails doll and was on his way.

However, I remembered that there was a cult, the Sonic.EXE cult. The cult actually showed up to my house. I started to brace for the worst, but it turns out they were just stopping by because they wanted to get a picture with Sonic. I don't blame them, if I'm being honest. After Sonic left my house, he went turn himself in to the police to atone for his crimes. I also went clean myself from when I crapped my pants earlier. The cult has also been helping the local townspeople pick up trash and make the city a good place to live.

The End.

(written by Cooper Castille & Tony Brooks)

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