Uploaded November 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 day ago
Today my soulmate passed away... my puppy, Jazmine. I found her when I was six years old, she was a few weeks old. She followed me until I picked her up and cried when I put her down. She lived 14 years. And today, with her gone, what I want more than anything is to join her.
**POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING**
I've dealt with anxiety & depression my whole life, and struggled with self-harm for the last 5 years. I've been clean for almost 11 months. Because of Chan. Whenever I'd be sad and feel like hurting myself, I'd write one of his quotes on my skin instead... I still feel like there's an entire planet pressing down on my chest. My hands are shaking, and my eyes hurt from crying, but I'm alive. I'm STAYing.
Chan is my candle in the darkness and I don't care how many times I'm sure he's heard it, but he saved my life and he continues to do so...
**TRIGGER WARNING OVER**
Guys, this is one of those times when I actually want him to see a video I make. I just want him to know. If you could please make this video blow up that would be amazing. I know it's a lot to ask, and the video itself might not be perfect, but I put my heart and soul into it.
Love you guys-
Be safe.
-Lexi
song: minefields by faouzia & john legend (this song came out today & it reminded me so much of chan, and the emotions I'm going through)
Today my soulmate passed away... my puppy, Jazmine. I found her when I was six years old, she was a few weeks old. She followed me until I picked her up and cried when I put her down. She lived 14 years. And today, with her gone, what I want more than anything is to join her.
**POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING**
I've dealt with anxiety & depression my whole life, and struggled with self-harm for the last 5 years. I've been clean for almost 11 months. Because of Chan. Whenever I'd be sad and feel like hurting myself, I'd write one of his quotes on my skin instead... I still feel like there's an entire planet pressing down on my chest. My hands are shaking, and my eyes hurt from crying, but I'm alive. I'm STAYing.
Chan is my candle in the darkness and I don't care how many times I'm sure he's heard it, but he saved my life and he continues to do so...
**TRIGGER WARNING OVER**
Guys, this is one of those times when I actually want him to see a video I make. I just want him to know. If you could please make this video blow up that would be amazing. I know it's a lot to ask, and the video itself might not be perfect, but I put my heart and soul into it.
Love you guys-
Be safe.
-Lexi
song: minefields by faouzia & john legend (this song came out today & it reminded me so much of chan, and the emotions I'm going through)
