Uploaded June 2016 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
*upon the first acolyte revealing her true form^
Dracula "Oh look it has tits."
Zobek:"I'm well aware of that."
Dracula:"do you think it can sing too?"
Zobek: "Remind me again why I hired you?"
Dracula:"Because we both hate each other yet you need me for protection and I need you because your modern day stupidity in contrast to the brilliant, genius, fate-cheating you of 1000 years ago is nothing short of hilarious and I need the entertainment?"
Zobek:"Hey! that was a good plan!! don't knock the plan!!! it almost worked!!"
Dracula: "First, it wasn't your plan, second, it didn't work because I came back to life after you KILLED ME, and third, because it comes before fourth. by the way, do you think she sings "I'm a barbie girl" any louder in this form?"
Zobek:"SHE WON'T GET THE CHANCE!!" *casts spell of confusion*
"Finish her off!! destroy her!!!"
Dracula:"It's almost like you're putting your faith in me or something!! afraid she'll tie you to a rock and sing that song in her cringiest tones should I fail tonight?"
Zobek:"I HATE YOU DRACULA!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU AND I HOPE TO GOD YOU DIE AT SOME POINT!! I HOPE TO GOD, LITERALLY ASKING GOD TO LET YOU DIE AFTER WE FINISH SATAN'S CHILDREN OFF!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!?!?!?!"
Dracula: "I love you too bestest buddy. I love you too."
*upon the first acolyte revealing her true form^
Dracula "Oh look it has tits."
Zobek:"I'm well aware of that."
Dracula:"do you think it can sing too?"
Zobek: "Remind me again why I hired you?"
Dracula:"Because we both hate each other yet you need me for protection and I need you because your modern day stupidity in contrast to the brilliant, genius, fate-cheating you of 1000 years ago is nothing short of hilarious and I need the entertainment?"
Zobek:"Hey! that was a good plan!! don't knock the plan!!! it almost worked!!"
Dracula: "First, it wasn't your plan, second, it didn't work because I came back to life after you KILLED ME, and third, because it comes before fourth. by the way, do you think she sings "I'm a barbie girl" any louder in this form?"
Zobek:"SHE WON'T GET THE CHANCE!!" *casts spell of confusion*
"Finish her off!! destroy her!!!"
Dracula:"It's almost like you're putting your faith in me or something!! afraid she'll tie you to a rock and sing that song in her cringiest tones should I fail tonight?"
Zobek:"I HATE YOU DRACULA!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU AND I HOPE TO GOD YOU DIE AT SOME POINT!! I HOPE TO GOD, LITERALLY ASKING GOD TO LET YOU DIE AFTER WE FINISH SATAN'S CHILDREN OFF!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!?!?!?!"
Dracula: "I love you too bestest buddy. I love you too."
