Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 3 hours ago
𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨.
I've wanted to edit with Wanda for years and haven't had a proper idea. Wanda has been a comfort character to me for so long. Losing your children is an unbearable experience and I can understand her wanting to do everything in her power to regain the happiness she felt.
A year ago in February I found out I was pregnant. After receiving the news, a lot of different emotions surfaced and I started editing this video. Now it's finally finished.
As a little girl, I watched the series Friends and identified with Monica a lot. Maybe not in terms of cleanliness and being organized, but I dreamed of a big family and a wedding and I was really looking forward to the day I would have my own child. My biggest fear at the time was that I would never have children.
I was 20 years old when I got pregnant, and it wasn't planned at all. I thought a lot about whether I was ready for this, but together with my boyfriend at the time, we decided to start building a family and a home. As everyone probably knows, that pregnancy didn't end well. During the pregnancy, I didn't even know how to "fear" that something bad would happen.
After losing Axel, I was even a little obsessed with having a child for a while and tried very hard to do get pregnant again. After the break-up, new relationships came into my life from time to time. Nothing happened. I tried to ask for help from healthcare, I was told that there were no physical obstacles to another pregnancy and was "kindly" advised to lose weight.
When I met my husband, I had already pretty much given up, it had been so many years since the loss and every hopeful pregnancy test had been negative. I was bitter and unhappy, but I started convincing myself and others that I was fine and that my nieces and nephews and godchildren in my life through others were enough. We talked with my husband that if we were to have a child, it would come, but we were not actively trying.
A year ago, in January, I started looking into adoption, because I had set a deadline for myself that if I hadn't had a child of my own by the age of 35, I wanted to adopt. The adoption counseling center told me that there was a weight limit for adoption and they again "kindly" advised me to lose weight.
I went to the doctor and started taking diet pills, because everything else had already been tried. I ate the pills for a week when I realized that my period was late. I protested buying the pregnancy test because the negative result was always a stab in the heart and just buying the test stirred some kind of hope in my mind.
After getting the positive test, I didn't believe the result, so I re-did the test twice. After this, when we made an appointment for an early ultrasound, I was still convinced there was going to be nothing there. It was only then that I began to believe that I was really pregnant.
The pregnancy was terrible. People close to me urged me to think positively, but unfortunately it didn't help. I received a referral to a psychologist, who we visited once a week. I protested buying any baby stuff because the background was the experience of returning from the hospital to a house full of baby stuff without a baby. I couldn't enjoy the pregnancy at all because fear was in my heart the whole time.
I still look at my little boy every day and it's hard to believe that I have a baby. I'm of course incredibly happy, but this has been so difficult.
I finished this video last week and it was really therapeutic to edit it to the end as I started it at the beginning of my pregnancy and it's now finished when everything is fine.
Thank you if you read the whole text.
𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨.
I've wanted to edit with Wanda for years and haven't had a proper idea. Wanda has been a comfort character to me for so long. Losing your children is an unbearable experience and I can understand her wanting to do everything in her power to regain the happiness she felt.
A year ago in February I found out I was pregnant. After receiving the news, a lot of different emotions surfaced and I started editing this video. Now it's finally finished.
As a little girl, I watched the series Friends and identified with Monica a lot. Maybe not in terms of cleanliness and being organized, but I dreamed of a big family and a wedding and I was really looking forward to the day I would have my own child. My biggest fear at the time was that I would never have children.
I was 20 years old when I got pregnant, and it wasn't planned at all. I thought a lot about whether I was ready for this, but together with my boyfriend at the time, we decided to start building a family and a home. As everyone probably knows, that pregnancy didn't end well. During the pregnancy, I didn't even know how to "fear" that something bad would happen.
After losing Axel, I was even a little obsessed with having a child for a while and tried very hard to do get pregnant again. After the break-up, new relationships came into my life from time to time. Nothing happened. I tried to ask for help from healthcare, I was told that there were no physical obstacles to another pregnancy and was "kindly" advised to lose weight.
When I met my husband, I had already pretty much given up, it had been so many years since the loss and every hopeful pregnancy test had been negative. I was bitter and unhappy, but I started convincing myself and others that I was fine and that my nieces and nephews and godchildren in my life through others were enough. We talked with my husband that if we were to have a child, it would come, but we were not actively trying.
A year ago, in January, I started looking into adoption, because I had set a deadline for myself that if I hadn't had a child of my own by the age of 35, I wanted to adopt. The adoption counseling center told me that there was a weight limit for adoption and they again "kindly" advised me to lose weight.
I went to the doctor and started taking diet pills, because everything else had already been tried. I ate the pills for a week when I realized that my period was late. I protested buying the pregnancy test because the negative result was always a stab in the heart and just buying the test stirred some kind of hope in my mind.
After getting the positive test, I didn't believe the result, so I re-did the test twice. After this, when we made an appointment for an early ultrasound, I was still convinced there was going to be nothing there. It was only then that I began to believe that I was really pregnant.
The pregnancy was terrible. People close to me urged me to think positively, but unfortunately it didn't help. I received a referral to a psychologist, who we visited once a week. I protested buying any baby stuff because the background was the experience of returning from the hospital to a house full of baby stuff without a baby. I couldn't enjoy the pregnancy at all because fear was in my heart the whole time.
I still look at my little boy every day and it's hard to believe that I have a baby. I'm of course incredibly happy, but this has been so difficult.
I finished this video last week and it was really therapeutic to edit it to the end as I started it at the beginning of my pregnancy and it's now finished when everything is fine.
Thank you if you read the whole text.
