Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Every man carries forces that pull against each other. It could be the urge to numb out and the call to face it, the inheritance of his father's failures and the responsibility to break the chain. For Michael Millin, those opposing forces weren't a metaphor. They were the difference between a life lost to addiction and the 17 years of sobriety he's built since hitting bottom with his back against the wall.
Today, Michael and I talk about generational trauma, the instability of growing up with a father who came in and out of his life, and what it actually takes to stop running from the pain you've spent your whole life numbing. This is a raw conversation about alcoholism, faith, and the lie that we have to wrap our identity up in being broken. Michael shares how he went from mocking Christianity to wrestling honestly with God, how a single sober friend changed the trajectory of his life, and why enablers do more damage than they'll ever admit. If you've ever told yourself you weren't okay, this one is for you.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Episode Introduction
01:04 - Fatherhood, addiction, and absent fathers
04:06 - Growing up with addiction and instability
05:33 - Ryan’s recovery experience and AA discussion
06:28 - Watching a father relapse after 15 years sober
09:24 - Rock bottom, poverty, and getting sober
13:39 - What rock bottom actually looked like
16:03 - Recovery, Indonesia, and spiritual searching
17:18 - Christianity, marriage, and life transformation
20:29 - Finding an outlet and building a meaningful life
21:51 - Addiction, purpose, and destructive patterns
23:37 - Fatherhood and defining a personal mission
26:49 - Turning childhood pain into purpose
28:50 - Faith, doubt, and searching for God
32:43 - Generational cycles and breaking family patterns
35:56 - Accepting hard truths and personal responsibility
39:50 - Addiction, identity, and becoming okay internally
41:50 - Family trauma and inherited suffering
44:20 - Native American heritage and generational impact
50:30 - Spiritual warfare and healing
51:16 - The story behind A Life of Opposing Forces
53:20 - Surfing, sharks, and feeling alive
59:16 - Lessons from being new on the journey
01:00:10 - Relationships, faith, and changing direction
01:01:55 - Where to connect with Michael
Order Ryan's latest book, The Masculinity Manifesto on Amazon:
amazon.com/Masculinity-Manifesto-Establishes-Influence-Credibility/dp/1684513316
Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready.
orderofman.link/battle-ready
Download the NEW Order of Man Twelve-Week Battle Planner and maximize your week. orderofman.link/12-week-planner-app
Support the Order of Man mission by picking up merchandise:
orderofman.link/support-the-mission
Connect with us on the socials:
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Every man carries forces that pull against each other. It could be the urge to numb out and the call to face it, the inheritance of his father's failures and the responsibility to break the chain. For Michael Millin, those opposing forces weren't a metaphor. They were the difference between a life lost to addiction and the 17 years of sobriety he's built since hitting bottom with his back against the wall.
Today, Michael and I talk about generational trauma, the instability of growing up with a father who came in and out of his life, and what it actually takes to stop running from the pain you've spent your whole life numbing. This is a raw conversation about alcoholism, faith, and the lie that we have to wrap our identity up in being broken. Michael shares how he went from mocking Christianity to wrestling honestly with God, how a single sober friend changed the trajectory of his life, and why enablers do more damage than they'll ever admit. If you've ever told yourself you weren't okay, this one is for you.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 - Episode Introduction
01:04 - Fatherhood, addiction, and absent fathers
04:06 - Growing up with addiction and instability
05:33 - Ryan’s recovery experience and AA discussion
06:28 - Watching a father relapse after 15 years sober
09:24 - Rock bottom, poverty, and getting sober
13:39 - What rock bottom actually looked like
16:03 - Recovery, Indonesia, and spiritual searching
17:18 - Christianity, marriage, and life transformation
20:29 - Finding an outlet and building a meaningful life
21:51 - Addiction, purpose, and destructive patterns
23:37 - Fatherhood and defining a personal mission
26:49 - Turning childhood pain into purpose
28:50 - Faith, doubt, and searching for God
32:43 - Generational cycles and breaking family patterns
35:56 - Accepting hard truths and personal responsibility
39:50 - Addiction, identity, and becoming okay internally
41:50 - Family trauma and inherited suffering
44:20 - Native American heritage and generational impact
50:30 - Spiritual warfare and healing
51:16 - The story behind A Life of Opposing Forces
53:20 - Surfing, sharks, and feeling alive
59:16 - Lessons from being new on the journey
01:00:10 - Relationships, faith, and changing direction
01:01:55 - Where to connect with Michael
Order Ryan's latest book, The Masculinity Manifesto on Amazon:
amazon.com/Masculinity-Manifesto-Establishes-Influence-Credibility/dp/1684513316
Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready.
orderofman.link/battle-ready
Download the NEW Order of Man Twelve-Week Battle Planner and maximize your week. orderofman.link/12-week-planner-app
Support the Order of Man mission by picking up merchandise:
orderofman.link/support-the-mission
Connect with us on the socials:
Instagram orderofman.link/instagram
Facebook orderofman.link/facebook-page
Twitter orderofman.link/twitter-ryan
Join the Order of Man Facebook group:
orderofman.link/facebook-group
