Fellowship Symphonies | Blue Note - A Baudelairian Spleen @P0nycide01 | Uploaded January 2017 | Updated October 2024, 2 hours ago.
The meaning of the title can only be explained in French :
fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spleen_baudelairien
Traduction :
The Baudelairian spleen refers to a profound sadness born from depression, which Charles Baudelaire expresses in several poems of his collection "Les Fleurs du mal".
I'm currently going through a lot of difficult things lately and I made this music because of this. I'm writing this because I had to talk about this someday and I don't want to wait till I'm forced to (and It's a good occasion to do it). So in this description I will talk about my life : If you don't give a fuck, don't read it. You've been warned.
Since I was young I felt different from the people around me, and not in the way I would want to. I tried many times to "fit in" but I just ended up suffering more and more. I finally found some good friends but that did not ended up my suffering, neither do everything I did to escape the matter (alcohol, drugs, games, fiction in general...). Recently it became worse and I had to take antidepressants because I was losing my will to continue living. Enough beating around the bush, the truth is that I got what people would call "Gender Identity Disorder".
I recently started to see a psychiatrist in order to find ways to "solve" my "problem" but in the end there was not a lot of choices for me : I could decide to do something about it and this would be an extremely long and difficult path for me and the people close to me or I could live with regrets for the rest of my life.
Yeah, these are not easy choices ... I finally decided that the first one would be the best for me in long run. Difficult part is that it will take even longer than I had first expected : the people taking care of me wanted to make sure I'm making the right decision (something I can understand) so they told me that they wanted to "study" me for 1 or 2 years before starting doing anything about it.
So here I am now, in a position were the only thing I can do for now is waiting ... and It's extremely frustrating. But on the other hand, I'm on the right path of feeling better so not everything is bad :)
Anyway, that's all folks, thanks for reading through all of this hope you enjoyed the music nevertheless and have a nice day/night/whatever ! :)
/)
Ps : I will not hesitate to take out the ban hammer for the trolls/hateful comments. I'm already in a bad mood I don't need this.
Pps : To clarify things, Blue Note = Tom, not Fred (the pianist)
The meaning of the title can only be explained in French :
fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spleen_baudelairien
Traduction :
The Baudelairian spleen refers to a profound sadness born from depression, which Charles Baudelaire expresses in several poems of his collection "Les Fleurs du mal".
I'm currently going through a lot of difficult things lately and I made this music because of this. I'm writing this because I had to talk about this someday and I don't want to wait till I'm forced to (and It's a good occasion to do it). So in this description I will talk about my life : If you don't give a fuck, don't read it. You've been warned.
Since I was young I felt different from the people around me, and not in the way I would want to. I tried many times to "fit in" but I just ended up suffering more and more. I finally found some good friends but that did not ended up my suffering, neither do everything I did to escape the matter (alcohol, drugs, games, fiction in general...). Recently it became worse and I had to take antidepressants because I was losing my will to continue living. Enough beating around the bush, the truth is that I got what people would call "Gender Identity Disorder".
I recently started to see a psychiatrist in order to find ways to "solve" my "problem" but in the end there was not a lot of choices for me : I could decide to do something about it and this would be an extremely long and difficult path for me and the people close to me or I could live with regrets for the rest of my life.
Yeah, these are not easy choices ... I finally decided that the first one would be the best for me in long run. Difficult part is that it will take even longer than I had first expected : the people taking care of me wanted to make sure I'm making the right decision (something I can understand) so they told me that they wanted to "study" me for 1 or 2 years before starting doing anything about it.
So here I am now, in a position were the only thing I can do for now is waiting ... and It's extremely frustrating. But on the other hand, I'm on the right path of feeling better so not everything is bad :)
Anyway, that's all folks, thanks for reading through all of this hope you enjoyed the music nevertheless and have a nice day/night/whatever ! :)
/)
Ps : I will not hesitate to take out the ban hammer for the trolls/hateful comments. I'm already in a bad mood I don't need this.
Pps : To clarify things, Blue Note = Tom, not Fred (the pianist)
