Uploaded January 2016 | Updated September 2026, 13 minutes ago
Dedicated to the first love of my life: Ben the Griffin.
_________________________________________________
Series: Penny Dreadful
Pairing: Sir Malcolm & Vanessa Ives
Song: Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons
_________________________________________________
Met the griffin when I was young. Loved him to death. We had a beautiful time together. But he was worried about the age gap so he married someone his age. I honestly always thought I'd grow up and move in with him and he'd be my world. But no such luck. His exact words were something like: He was too afraid of swimming against the current. Or something to that effect. He worried his parents wouldn't like my age and that he needed stability. Lost touch now but I hear he's happy. He wants kids so I don't know if he's a father yet but that's on the cards too. I feel a bit.... well, not used. I loved spending time with him and going to the cinema and stuff. But he was my first true love and he was able to throw that away quite easily. So it makes me sad. Aside from that Ben used to draw beautiful doodles for me and I kept them all. He was a good person, but we met at a difficult time. He bought me the book 'The Time Travelers Wife' cause he said it reminded him of us. I cried whilst reading it. The one man I wanted but could never have. I tried to express that painful love in this video with my mental health deteriorating and my mind lost in time. I thought this might make me feel better after I released the emotions. But in fact - he probably won't ever see this or care to. And that makes it hurt more. I have also just been let down by the NHS, they have pushed me back to 4th in waiting for the clinic I seek when last week I was 1st in line. I'm beginning to notice a pattern in my luck.
Dedicated to the first love of my life: Ben the Griffin.
_________________________________________________
Series: Penny Dreadful
Pairing: Sir Malcolm & Vanessa Ives
Song: Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons
_________________________________________________
Met the griffin when I was young. Loved him to death. We had a beautiful time together. But he was worried about the age gap so he married someone his age. I honestly always thought I'd grow up and move in with him and he'd be my world. But no such luck. His exact words were something like: He was too afraid of swimming against the current. Or something to that effect. He worried his parents wouldn't like my age and that he needed stability. Lost touch now but I hear he's happy. He wants kids so I don't know if he's a father yet but that's on the cards too. I feel a bit.... well, not used. I loved spending time with him and going to the cinema and stuff. But he was my first true love and he was able to throw that away quite easily. So it makes me sad. Aside from that Ben used to draw beautiful doodles for me and I kept them all. He was a good person, but we met at a difficult time. He bought me the book 'The Time Travelers Wife' cause he said it reminded him of us. I cried whilst reading it. The one man I wanted but could never have. I tried to express that painful love in this video with my mental health deteriorating and my mind lost in time. I thought this might make me feel better after I released the emotions. But in fact - he probably won't ever see this or care to. And that makes it hurt more. I have also just been let down by the NHS, they have pushed me back to 4th in waiting for the clinic I seek when last week I was 1st in line. I'm beginning to notice a pattern in my luck.
