Alice Phantom | {Ben Tennyson} How Could This Happen To Me [Vent] @AlicePhantom | Uploaded 6 years ago | Updated 4 hours ago
We back to vents? Yep, we're back to vents.
Before I get these comments: Yes I know the song is called 'Untitled', so get over yourselves by making that comment.
Vent:
I finished college a few weeks ago, and honestly it sucks. College was the only thing that got me out of my house. Home is kinda hell, considering that I have to take care of my grandma along with my father. Like just because I live here, I'm forced to help take care of her. I know people are gonna give me shit for it, like "Omg respect your elders." This isn't the full story, and I don't feel like sharing everything. I don't hate her, I don't, I just wish I didn't live here. Unless you lived through having to take care of someone elderly, don't fucking talk.
Not like I was doing much anyway tbh considering I have no friends to hang out with. The only time I get out of this house now is for Crew. Sure I have friends there, hell they're like a second family, but none of them would hang out with someone like me. They all have their own things going on, they all have their own shit to deal with. It fucking sucks. I know my one friend from Crew won't be like the rest, he isn't like that and he's never given me a reason not to trust him. But he wouldn't hang with me outside Crew either, I've barked up that tree before and got ignored.
I've only been out of school for a few weeks, and i'm tempted to fall back into my old patterns. As long as you act happy, people think you're happy. No one wants to constantly deal with my shit. No one wants to hear about a girl who doesn't have friends because of her own mental instability who apparently can't show gratitude.
I know it's getting bad again because I knew how many suicidal/death/depression jokes I've made when I was at the lockin with the Crew Friday night. I doubt anyone noticed, because I acted like it was all a huge joke. It's all fun and games until someone kills themselves I guess.
Honestly, sometimes I wonder if everyone's just better off without me. But then I realize that I know some people value my presence when they need it. Guess that's better than nothing tbh. It just fucking sucks that every goddamn summer since Junior year of high school I've tried killing myself. I thought this year would be different, but I doubt it. Kinda hard for it to be different when so much shit has happened to where I probably should go through with it.
There's so much shit I've done, and so much shit I've been through, and the same factor is myself. That's gotta mean something right? That I fucking deserve all the shit that happened. I fucking deserve everyone I care about leaving cause of my mental issues. I'm surprised more people haven't been like the rest.
...If anyone read all of this, thanks I guess.
We back to vents? Yep, we're back to vents.
Before I get these comments: Yes I know the song is called 'Untitled', so get over yourselves by making that comment.
Vent:
I finished college a few weeks ago, and honestly it sucks. College was the only thing that got me out of my house. Home is kinda hell, considering that I have to take care of my grandma along with my father. Like just because I live here, I'm forced to help take care of her. I know people are gonna give me shit for it, like "Omg respect your elders." This isn't the full story, and I don't feel like sharing everything. I don't hate her, I don't, I just wish I didn't live here. Unless you lived through having to take care of someone elderly, don't fucking talk.
Not like I was doing much anyway tbh considering I have no friends to hang out with. The only time I get out of this house now is for Crew. Sure I have friends there, hell they're like a second family, but none of them would hang out with someone like me. They all have their own things going on, they all have their own shit to deal with. It fucking sucks. I know my one friend from Crew won't be like the rest, he isn't like that and he's never given me a reason not to trust him. But he wouldn't hang with me outside Crew either, I've barked up that tree before and got ignored.
I've only been out of school for a few weeks, and i'm tempted to fall back into my old patterns. As long as you act happy, people think you're happy. No one wants to constantly deal with my shit. No one wants to hear about a girl who doesn't have friends because of her own mental instability who apparently can't show gratitude.
I know it's getting bad again because I knew how many suicidal/death/depression jokes I've made when I was at the lockin with the Crew Friday night. I doubt anyone noticed, because I acted like it was all a huge joke. It's all fun and games until someone kills themselves I guess.
Honestly, sometimes I wonder if everyone's just better off without me. But then I realize that I know some people value my presence when they need it. Guess that's better than nothing tbh. It just fucking sucks that every goddamn summer since Junior year of high school I've tried killing myself. I thought this year would be different, but I doubt it. Kinda hard for it to be different when so much shit has happened to where I probably should go through with it.
There's so much shit I've done, and so much shit I've been through, and the same factor is myself. That's gotta mean something right? That I fucking deserve all the shit that happened. I fucking deserve everyone I care about leaving cause of my mental issues. I'm surprised more people haven't been like the rest.
...If anyone read all of this, thanks I guess.
![{Ben Tennyson} How Could This Happen To Me [Vent]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/YifIEz3od5c/hqdefault.jpg "{Ben Tennyson} How Could This Happen To Me [Vent]
We back to vents? Yep, were back to vents.
Before I get these comments: Yes I know the song is called Untitled, so get over yourselves by making that comment.
Vent:
I finished college a few weeks ago, and honestly it sucks. College was the only thing that got me out of my house. Home is kinda hell, considering that I have to take care of my grandma along with my father. Like just because I live here, Im forced to help take care of her. I know people are gonna give me shit for it, like Omg respect your elders. This isnt the full story, and I dont feel like sharing everything. I dont hate her, I dont, I just wish I didnt live here. Unless you lived through having to take care of someone elderly, dont fucking talk.
Not like I was doing much anyway tbh considering I have no friends to hang out with. The only time I get out of this house now is for Crew. Sure I have friends there, hell theyre like a second family, but none of them would hang out with someone like me. They all have their own things going on, they all have their own shit to deal with. It fucking sucks. I know my one friend from Crew wont be like the rest, he isnt like that and hes never given me a reason not to trust him. But he wouldnt hang with me outside Crew either, Ive barked up that tree before and got ignored.
Ive only been out of school for a few weeks, and im tempted to fall back into my old patterns. As long as you act happy, people think youre happy. No one wants to constantly deal with my shit. No one wants to hear about a girl who doesnt have friends because of her own mental instability who apparently cant show gratitude.
I know its getting bad again because I knew how many suicidal/death/depression jokes Ive made when I was at the lockin with the Crew Friday night. I doubt anyone noticed, because I acted like it was all a huge joke. Its all fun and games until someone kills themselves I guess.
Honestly, sometimes I wonder if everyones just better off without me. But then I realize that I know some people value my presence when they need it. Guess thats better than nothing tbh. It just fucking sucks that every goddamn summer since Junior year of high school Ive tried killing myself. I thought this year would be different, but I doubt it. Kinda hard for it to be different when so much shit has happened to where I probably should go through with it.
Theres so much shit Ive done, and so much shit Ive been through, and the same factor is myself. Thats gotta mean something right? That I fucking deserve all the shit that happened. I fucking deserve everyone I care about leaving cause of my mental issues. Im surprised more people havent been like the rest.
...If anyone read all of this, thanks I guess.")
![{W.I.T.C.H. Loop} Back From The Dead [For AnimationFreak91 & AquarianFrostAngel91]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/YpttJuZ8zuc/hqdefault.jpg "{W.I.T.C.H. Loop} Back From The Dead [For AnimationFreak91 & AquarianFrostAngel91]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU TWO!!! (Mels 19th, and Frostys 25th) (This was preuploaded on the 9th, and uploaded...whenever I made this public lol.) Also the Cornelia/Hay Lin masks you see were made by Mel and Helene (xSweetoKyeForce) respectfully.
This was actually my second idea. I originally was thinking of doing a DC mash with The Resistance, but that would take too long, and then this came to mind. I figured, Hey I rarely work with W.I.T.C.H. so why not? I ended up focusing more on Will (Mels favorite character) than anyone, and I meant to add more Irma since shes Frostys favorite character but Will ultimately won.
I would say you two are the older sisters I never had, but I do have an older sister so yeah. Im glad weve been friends for so many years, and I honestly couldnt imagine my life without you guys. Hope you guys enjoyed the video! :)
GO SUB MY SISTERS!!!
Mel- https://www.youtube.com/user/AnimationFreak91
Frosty- https://www.youtube.com/user/AquarianFrostAngel91
This is actually the second time I tried looping, I do have another loop project but thats planned to be candy and candy is a bitch to do.
Btw for those wonder this is 43 seconds x 3. (Anymore and it would go on forever lol.) If anyone has me on IG, ill be uploading this there as well. This is actually the first video I made that I plan to post on IG. Usually I just post previews on there lol. (Alice_Phantom18)")
![[Lapis Lazuli x Jasper] Love The Way You Lie](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZAeqCcOsT6s/hqdefault.jpg "[Lapis Lazuli x Jasper] Love The Way You Lie
*SPOILERS FOR ALONE AT SEA*
Wow Alone At Sea just came out yesterday, and I already made a video with it. I didnt expect to add so much text to this, but hey I think it worked.
Im not a fan of this ship, Im only using it because it represents my own situation. (If you ship it okay, if you dont ship it okay. Just no hate in the comments please.)
Now the reason why I actually did this video:
Okay so for those who havent seen Alone At Sea, go watch it because spoilers. Basically Lapis is thinking about her time with Jasper as Malachite. Even though it was a bad fusion and Lapis had to control Jasper, she still missed being fused with her. Jasper followed Lapis because she wanted to be Malachite again as well. Lapis stood up for herself and told Jasper she didnt want to fuse again because of how toxic it was.
This is similar to an ex of mine. If anyone has seen my tumblr or has talked to me for a long time youll know the story. My ex and I werent officially in a relationship, but we werent just friends back then. (Kinda like puppy love I guess.)
!!!LONG STORY AHEAD!!!
In the 8th grade we slow danced at Semi and started acting like a couple. (Hence why I have Jasper and Lapis dancing for memories.) That summer we both went to a pool party and he harassed me. He grabbed my bathing suit strap, poked me, and attempted to push me, because he wanted me to kiss him, when I was holding onto the edge. (I did that because I suck at swimming.) I did tell him that fact. After that party I decided not to speak to him anymore.
Fate had other plans. When we entered high school I got put next to him in Latin class. I would always ignore him, but one day he asked why. I told him why, but he just said sorry like he stole a cookie from the cookie jar. Sadly, I gave him another chance at being friends. During that year he would meet me at my locker before I left school. One time he asked if I was going to the schools pep rally, I told him I wasnt. He was like, oh but I am. He acted like he owned me. He used my friends constantly, and he even tried to blame me for all the stuff that happened between us. (Which is why I had the whole This is your fault. in there even though it was directed at Steven.) Thank god my friends didnt believe him. He wasnt content with staying friends.
Basically because of stuff hes done I still fear going to school. I did tell on him to my school, but I honestly dont believe they did anything since I never heard anything from who I told. Im honestly scared to go back to school in September tbh. Theres a chance he could be in the majority of my classes.
Even though I dont talk to him anymore, he talks to my guy friend. (Said friend hates him after I told him what happened.) Hes still near my circle because hes a manipulative little douchebag who wont leave me alone.
This shit happened 3 years ago and Im still scarred by it. Im not telling my story for sympathy or anything, Im telling is because I dont want anyone turning out like me. (This isnt even the full story, its the gist of it.)
Ill admit I miss the old days where we were friends, I do miss it because he was my best guy friend. But hes changed into a monster, and everytime I gave him another chance he ruined it. It was always a toxic friendship/relationship. It just took me years to realize it.")
