Uploaded July 2024 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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Parody of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
Wheel of Time book spoilers through Towers of Midnight and show spoilers through season 2 episode 8

Original lyrics:
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
RJ’s bad at romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
RJ’s bad at romance
Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Epic, go ga-ga
Saga, ooh-la-la
Want some bad romance?
Rand and Egwene, they bicker like kids
Nynaeve loves stonefaced Lan, where did that come from?
She wants his love
Love, love, love, she wants his love
But Lan’s got drama, a war in the blight (hey)
Elayne sees Rand slip and it’s love at first sight
She wants his love
Love, love, love, she wants his love
(love, love, love, I want your love)
Min knows that she’ll share Rand
And she knows that he needs three
She wants it bad, his bad romance
I love RJ, and I love Wheel of Time
I wish he could write a good romance
I just want some build up and some chemistry
I wish he could write a good romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
RJ’s bad at romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
RJ’s bad at romance
Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Epic, go ga-ga
Saga, ooh-la-la
Want some bad romance?
Perrin spanks Faile, Mat gets a slaver
Egwene sees Gawyn’s dream and boom she’s in love
She wants his love
Love, love, love, she wants his love
Rand needs an Aiel, here’s some igloo sex
Siuaraine was good but it’s only in New Spring
She wants her love
Love, love, love, she wants her love
What? Moiraine wants Thom now?
And you know she don’t need this ('cause I’m a free bitch, baby)
Oh this is bad, it’s bad romance
I love RJ, and I love Wheel of Time
I wish he could write a good romance
I just want some build up and some chemistry
I wish he could write a good romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
RJ’s bad at romance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
RJ’s bad at romance
Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Epic, go ga-ga
Saga, ooh-la-la
Want some good romance

Siuan, Siuan, passion baby
Write it, that bitch drive me crazy
Siuan, Siuan, passion baby
Write it, I'm a free bitch, baby
I want your love, I don’t want some gleeman
I want your love, I don't wanna be friends
Ye be’lal mashi, inde amela
Ye be’lal mashi, I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
No, I don't wanna be friends (RJ’s bad at romance)
I don't wanna be friends

RJ’s bad at romance
Want some good romance
I love RJ, and I love Wheel of Time
I wish he could write a good romance (whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I just want some build up and some chemistry
I wish he could write a good romance
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
(Want your bad romance)
RJ’s bad at romance
(Want your bad romance)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
(Want your bad romance)
RJ’s bad at romance
Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Epic, go ga-ga
Saga, ooh-la-la
Want some good romance