Uploaded January 2020 | Updated September 2026, 20 hours ago
If you work for Arizona Tea, please contact me and I will be the face of your company.
Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/0nllbaE2s84UjHW5alxD2q?si=POD-NoPZS-OC5K_oVwQ-Jg
Become an Adler today: patreon.com/adlerdavidson
Produced by Gabe Miller
Written by Adler Davidson
Videography by Andy Barrett & Katy Meeks
Directed by Adler Davidson and Katy Meeks
Makeup by Katy Meeks
Edited by Adler Davidson
Lyrics:
99 cents, you can’t beat that
You keep my bank account in tact
I don’t wanna meet Arnold palmer
Just your marketing officer
Spencer, that’s his name
Creeped his LinkedIn I have no shame
But don’t you worry I won’t arrive
At your house or, or your work, I ain’t no spy
Just put me in your budget, please
I’ll break it down, for your ease
300 a month, and I’ll wear a shirt
Of your design, or other merch
On Instagram, once a week
And youtube, whenever I please
For me this’ll be a year long contract
an offer that I won’t take back
If there’s any part of this that ya hate
I’m open to renegotiate
Arizona Tea Please sponsor me
You’re the best family-owned company
Arizona tea is all I need
For you I would do anything
Anything anything, anything at all
I’ll break my bones, I’d jump and fall
From a ladder, 40 feet high
Hit the ground, wail and cry
Waaaa I broke my clavicle
And I now I think my spine is cracked a lil
But that’s fine cause my favorite brand
Is gonna pay me, don’t need to stand
I’ll medicate with Arizona tea
Fortify vitamin c
Ohhh wooow I feel it in my veins
Don’t need opioids when tea cures my pain
Mmm the world is pretty wow
Everything is so clear
My life is now devoid of every single fear
Arizona tea please sponsor me
I love you and you love me
You’re my religion, my fantasy
Because of you I’ll never bleed
I’ve been consuming arizona tea
For the last several weeks, and nothing else
And I feel great! But I’m malnourished
My bones feel weak and my fingernails
Are falling off. whoopsies
I should go to the hospital but I don’t have the cash. That sucks, where in the world would I get that?
Oh right, hey Spencer the marketing director, could you pay my hospital bills? please?
I did this all for you, it’s my only life goal, so please fulfill the purpose of my soul, just sponsor me as a human don’t fail me now, if it doesn’t happen like this, I don’t know how
Arizona tea please sponsor me
Or I’ll be be forced to take leave
From this earth, my friends and family
I might die if you don’t sponsor me
JJJreact
If you work for Arizona Tea, please contact me and I will be the face of your company.
Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/0nllbaE2s84UjHW5alxD2q?si=POD-NoPZS-OC5K_oVwQ-Jg
Become an Adler today: patreon.com/adlerdavidson
Produced by Gabe Miller
Written by Adler Davidson
Videography by Andy Barrett & Katy Meeks
Directed by Adler Davidson and Katy Meeks
Makeup by Katy Meeks
Edited by Adler Davidson
Lyrics:
99 cents, you can’t beat that
You keep my bank account in tact
I don’t wanna meet Arnold palmer
Just your marketing officer
Spencer, that’s his name
Creeped his LinkedIn I have no shame
But don’t you worry I won’t arrive
At your house or, or your work, I ain’t no spy
Just put me in your budget, please
I’ll break it down, for your ease
300 a month, and I’ll wear a shirt
Of your design, or other merch
On Instagram, once a week
And youtube, whenever I please
For me this’ll be a year long contract
an offer that I won’t take back
If there’s any part of this that ya hate
I’m open to renegotiate
Arizona Tea Please sponsor me
You’re the best family-owned company
Arizona tea is all I need
For you I would do anything
Anything anything, anything at all
I’ll break my bones, I’d jump and fall
From a ladder, 40 feet high
Hit the ground, wail and cry
Waaaa I broke my clavicle
And I now I think my spine is cracked a lil
But that’s fine cause my favorite brand
Is gonna pay me, don’t need to stand
I’ll medicate with Arizona tea
Fortify vitamin c
Ohhh wooow I feel it in my veins
Don’t need opioids when tea cures my pain
Mmm the world is pretty wow
Everything is so clear
My life is now devoid of every single fear
Arizona tea please sponsor me
I love you and you love me
You’re my religion, my fantasy
Because of you I’ll never bleed
I’ve been consuming arizona tea
For the last several weeks, and nothing else
And I feel great! But I’m malnourished
My bones feel weak and my fingernails
Are falling off. whoopsies
I should go to the hospital but I don’t have the cash. That sucks, where in the world would I get that?
Oh right, hey Spencer the marketing director, could you pay my hospital bills? please?
I did this all for you, it’s my only life goal, so please fulfill the purpose of my soul, just sponsor me as a human don’t fail me now, if it doesn’t happen like this, I don’t know how
Arizona tea please sponsor me
Or I’ll be be forced to take leave
From this earth, my friends and family
I might die if you don’t sponsor me
JJJreact
