Uploaded March 2022 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
After the Cult: Exploring Healthy Relationships for LGBQA+ Individuals (Cyndi Matthews, Ashlen Hilliard)
Disclaimer: Views expressed on ICSA Websites or in ICSA's publications or events or other venues are those of the document's author(s) or speaker(s) and are not necessarily shared, endorsed, or recommended by ICSA or any of its directors, staff, or advisers.
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and asexual (LGBQA+) individuals who were born or raised in cults may have dealt with a litany of constructs regarding what a healthy relationship looks like and how they were to live their lives while in their respective cults. These constructs could include mandates such as "Only heterosexual relationships are allowed," "Sex is only for marriage," "Sex is only for procreation," "Masturbation will turn you gay," and "Wives, submit to your husbands including whenever they want sex," along with a myriad of other constructs and beliefs. They may have been punished/rewarded by leaders/members requiring reparative therapy, public and private confessions, doctrinal lessons, marrying a person of the other gender, etc. This discussion will focus on how these constructs and mandates may have led to unhealthy expectations and outcomes in current and past relationships. Presenters will also discuss how healing can occur by re-evaluating and redefining what constitutes a healthy relationship, and ways LGBQA+ can re-imagine, explore, and reconstruct their present and future relationships.
Cyndi Matthews, PhD, LPC-S, NCC, is an experienced Counseling Clinician (15+ yrs.) working in Private Practice and as an Associate Professor in the Counseling (CMHC) program at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology (Dallas). She has earned a Ph.D. in Counseling and Counselor Education, a Masters in Counseling, and a Masters in Business - Organizational Behavior. Her passion for social justice and advocacy is exemplified in her counseling practice and research, both of which focus on effective counseling interventions for marginalized populations, such as cult survivors, domestic violence survivors, and LGBTQ+ populations. Based on her scholarship and clinical expertise she has researched and developed theory for counseling with second and multi-generation adult cult survivors.
Ashlen Hilliard (she/her), MSc, is the Director of Events for the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA). Her MSc research focused on the relationship between reproductive coercion, psychologically abusive environments, and the extent of group identity in a sample of those who have left cultic groups. Before ICSA, she worked as a case manager in Salt Lake City, Utah helping individuals leaving polygamist groups out west. Ashlen relocated to Portland, Oregon in 2020 and is a co-organizer for the local Spiritual Abuse Forum for Education (SAFE) Meetups for survivors of cultic and spiritual abuse. She has presented at multiple ICSA conferences on a variety of topics and has been interviewed on podcasts and media programs. She published an article in ICSA Today 10.2 / 2019 on, “The Genesis, Text, and Implications of Utah House Bill 214: Office for Victims of Crime Amendments.” Ashlen enjoys living in Portland, Oregon with her partner Ryan, their blind dog Hamilton, and their cat Ferguson.
After the Cult: Exploring Healthy Relationships for LGBQA+ Individuals (Cyndi Matthews, Ashlen Hilliard)
Disclaimer: Views expressed on ICSA Websites or in ICSA's publications or events or other venues are those of the document's author(s) or speaker(s) and are not necessarily shared, endorsed, or recommended by ICSA or any of its directors, staff, or advisers.
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and asexual (LGBQA+) individuals who were born or raised in cults may have dealt with a litany of constructs regarding what a healthy relationship looks like and how they were to live their lives while in their respective cults. These constructs could include mandates such as "Only heterosexual relationships are allowed," "Sex is only for marriage," "Sex is only for procreation," "Masturbation will turn you gay," and "Wives, submit to your husbands including whenever they want sex," along with a myriad of other constructs and beliefs. They may have been punished/rewarded by leaders/members requiring reparative therapy, public and private confessions, doctrinal lessons, marrying a person of the other gender, etc. This discussion will focus on how these constructs and mandates may have led to unhealthy expectations and outcomes in current and past relationships. Presenters will also discuss how healing can occur by re-evaluating and redefining what constitutes a healthy relationship, and ways LGBQA+ can re-imagine, explore, and reconstruct their present and future relationships.
Cyndi Matthews, PhD, LPC-S, NCC, is an experienced Counseling Clinician (15+ yrs.) working in Private Practice and as an Associate Professor in the Counseling (CMHC) program at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology (Dallas). She has earned a Ph.D. in Counseling and Counselor Education, a Masters in Counseling, and a Masters in Business - Organizational Behavior. Her passion for social justice and advocacy is exemplified in her counseling practice and research, both of which focus on effective counseling interventions for marginalized populations, such as cult survivors, domestic violence survivors, and LGBTQ+ populations. Based on her scholarship and clinical expertise she has researched and developed theory for counseling with second and multi-generation adult cult survivors.
Ashlen Hilliard (she/her), MSc, is the Director of Events for the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA). Her MSc research focused on the relationship between reproductive coercion, psychologically abusive environments, and the extent of group identity in a sample of those who have left cultic groups. Before ICSA, she worked as a case manager in Salt Lake City, Utah helping individuals leaving polygamist groups out west. Ashlen relocated to Portland, Oregon in 2020 and is a co-organizer for the local Spiritual Abuse Forum for Education (SAFE) Meetups for survivors of cultic and spiritual abuse. She has presented at multiple ICSA conferences on a variety of topics and has been interviewed on podcasts and media programs. She published an article in ICSA Today 10.2 / 2019 on, “The Genesis, Text, and Implications of Utah House Bill 214: Office for Victims of Crime Amendments.” Ashlen enjoys living in Portland, Oregon with her partner Ryan, their blind dog Hamilton, and their cat Ferguson.
