Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Do you feel like you’re always the one keeping track of everything? Or that you’ve started to resent a partner you love?
Couples therapist Dr. Christine Hargrove answers the internet’s biggest questions on ADHD and relationships. She explains why resentment builds in ADHD relationships, what ADHD spouse burnout actually is, and the two phrases you should stop saying to your ADHD partner.
She also breaks down how to balance the mental load fairly, three research-backed ways couples cope with stress, how ADHD affects intimacy over time, and what to do when your partner won’t get treatment. Plus what if you have ADHD, but your partner doesn’t believe it?
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:26 Does ADHD cause relationship problems?
01:32 What not to say to an ADHD partner?
02:38 How do I stop resenting my ADHD partner?
03:51 What is ADHD spouse burnout?
04:54 How do you balance the mental load when one or both partners have ADHD?
06:02 How do I support my ADHD partner?
06:54 How does ADHD affect intimacy?
07:41 What are your tips for managing relationship struggles when both partners have ADHD?
08:39 What tips do you have for improving communication for ADHD couples?
10:02 My partner doesn't believe I have ADHD. What should I do?
11:19 I think my partner has undiagnosed ADHD. Should I tell them?
12:19 My ADHD partner won't get treatment. What now?
For more on this topic
Watch: Executive dysfunction explained: Why ADHD makes everything so hard youtu.be/0XcppZUxxUo
Read: 6 ways ADHD affects romantic relationships understood.org/en/articles/adhd-romantic-relationships
Questions about learning and thinking differences? Get answers and expert-vetted resources by asking the AI-powered Understood Assistant:
understood.org/en/assistant?utm_medium=organic&utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=assistant-agn-prod&utm_content=video
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give.
For more resources, support, and excellent memes, subscribe to our YouTube channel or follow us on:
Instagram: instagram.com/understoodorg
Facebook: facebook.com/Understood
TikTok: tiktok.com/@understood.org
Pinterest: pinterest.com/understoodorg
#ADHD #ADHDRelationships #ADHDCouples #ADHDMarriage #NeurodivergentLove #ADHDPartner #AdultADHD #Understood
Do you feel like you’re always the one keeping track of everything? Or that you’ve started to resent a partner you love?
Couples therapist Dr. Christine Hargrove answers the internet’s biggest questions on ADHD and relationships. She explains why resentment builds in ADHD relationships, what ADHD spouse burnout actually is, and the two phrases you should stop saying to your ADHD partner.
She also breaks down how to balance the mental load fairly, three research-backed ways couples cope with stress, how ADHD affects intimacy over time, and what to do when your partner won’t get treatment. Plus what if you have ADHD, but your partner doesn’t believe it?
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:26 Does ADHD cause relationship problems?
01:32 What not to say to an ADHD partner?
02:38 How do I stop resenting my ADHD partner?
03:51 What is ADHD spouse burnout?
04:54 How do you balance the mental load when one or both partners have ADHD?
06:02 How do I support my ADHD partner?
06:54 How does ADHD affect intimacy?
07:41 What are your tips for managing relationship struggles when both partners have ADHD?
08:39 What tips do you have for improving communication for ADHD couples?
10:02 My partner doesn't believe I have ADHD. What should I do?
11:19 I think my partner has undiagnosed ADHD. Should I tell them?
12:19 My ADHD partner won't get treatment. What now?
For more on this topic
Watch: Executive dysfunction explained: Why ADHD makes everything so hard youtu.be/0XcppZUxxUo
Read: 6 ways ADHD affects romantic relationships understood.org/en/articles/adhd-romantic-relationships
Questions about learning and thinking differences? Get answers and expert-vetted resources by asking the AI-powered Understood Assistant:
understood.org/en/assistant?utm_medium=organic&utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=assistant-agn-prod&utm_content=video
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give.
For more resources, support, and excellent memes, subscribe to our YouTube channel or follow us on:
Instagram: instagram.com/understoodorg
Facebook: facebook.com/Understood
TikTok: tiktok.com/@understood.org
Pinterest: pinterest.com/understoodorg
#ADHD #ADHDRelationships #ADHDCouples #ADHDMarriage #NeurodivergentLove #ADHDPartner #AdultADHD #Understood
