Uploaded June 2020 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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"I deserve it all..."

So, this song was hard as shit to make lol. But in the end it was worth it, a fair warning, this song addresses topics like Gaslighting, Abusive Relationships, and Suicidal Thoughts. Viewer discretion is heavily advised.

I hope you all enjoy this song!

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Lyrics:
I... Know you're angry,
and that you won't speak to me,
and that's fine...
Your words they hurt me a lot.
But I know... You meant it well.
Words, they hurt me a lot, but you know...
It's okay because honesty, is your specialty, and I know...
You just cared for me.

I deserve to be scolded, yes.
My emotions made you feel not the best...
Selfishness clouded up my mind,
to your feelings I was so woefully blind...

I... won't display my emotions to the public eye...
Cause it makes inconveniences for you all...
So I'll shut them off.

When I told you how I felt, you told me that I was wrong.
There's a method to your words, the words that I do deserve.
Didn't mean to hurt you though, I wasn't thinking, sorry.
Harshness and blunt honesty, it's all just to help me.
I'm the toxic problem here, don't deserve to cry my tears.
You are the true victim here, I'm so sorry for this fear
I've caused all of you to feel, it was my fault for that too.
I deserve your ridicule, I deserve your just anger.

The emotions of a monster... they are worthless now.
No I do... Not deserve you, my struggles are unfair to you.

No I don't deserve to live.
No I don't deserve to cry once again.
I don't want to live! I deserve to die!
I deserve it all, its all my fault!

I deserve to happy now...
No it's not my fault, I am not alone!
I deserve to live. I deserve to laugh!
I deserve to carve out my own path!