Uploaded November 2014 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to hump day in our 13th week!
Conspiring in the #38 position...
Deus Ex
Okay, truth time: I’ve never played Deus Ex. “Then what the bouncing fuck are you doing writing a review for it?”, one might rightly ask. Well, nobody else on our writing staff has played it either, and being the nice guy that I am I valiantly volunteered to bullshit my way through it. I was going to try to get a little time playing it before I had to write this article but I, uh, didn’t. Hey listen, those raccoons who keep trying to get into my garbage cans aren’t going to throw pinecones at themselves, okay? I’m a busy guy. While I may not have been able to get hands on with Deus Ex, I did have time to hit the Googles and have a look at what I was missing. By all accounts, I was missing something pretty good. The biggest thing that this game has going for it, as far as I can tell, is that it’s a mashup. I like mashups. If a developer says “Hey, we’re going to throw an FPS, an RPG, and a tactical stealth sim in a big pot and see what the hell comes out,”I’m interested. More often than not, trying a mashup like this results in the game failing at multiple genres instead of being more than the sum of its parts. The first Mass Effect, which I wrote about a few weeks ago, is a pretty good example of this problem. It’s a great game, but it can never quite decide what it wants to be. What I’m seeing about Deus Ex makes me wonder if Bioware didn’t see this game and think “Shit, we can do that.” My baseless speculation notwithstanding, it seems like Deus Ex may have been the game I should have played that I never did. The lesson here: I’m an idiot.
Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to hump day in our 13th week!
Conspiring in the #38 position...
Deus Ex
Okay, truth time: I’ve never played Deus Ex. “Then what the bouncing fuck are you doing writing a review for it?”, one might rightly ask. Well, nobody else on our writing staff has played it either, and being the nice guy that I am I valiantly volunteered to bullshit my way through it. I was going to try to get a little time playing it before I had to write this article but I, uh, didn’t. Hey listen, those raccoons who keep trying to get into my garbage cans aren’t going to throw pinecones at themselves, okay? I’m a busy guy. While I may not have been able to get hands on with Deus Ex, I did have time to hit the Googles and have a look at what I was missing. By all accounts, I was missing something pretty good. The biggest thing that this game has going for it, as far as I can tell, is that it’s a mashup. I like mashups. If a developer says “Hey, we’re going to throw an FPS, an RPG, and a tactical stealth sim in a big pot and see what the hell comes out,”I’m interested. More often than not, trying a mashup like this results in the game failing at multiple genres instead of being more than the sum of its parts. The first Mass Effect, which I wrote about a few weeks ago, is a pretty good example of this problem. It’s a great game, but it can never quite decide what it wants to be. What I’m seeing about Deus Ex makes me wonder if Bioware didn’t see this game and think “Shit, we can do that.” My baseless speculation notwithstanding, it seems like Deus Ex may have been the game I should have played that I never did. The lesson here: I’m an idiot.
