Uploaded November 2014 | Updated September 2026, 4 days ago
Hello gamers and welcome to day four of week thirteen in our 100 reviews in 100 days countdown!
Causing a stir in the #37 spot...
Grand Theft Auto 3
So…Okay. I’ve been looking forward to and dreading this moment. I have the opportunity to go on a truly epic rant about the Grand Theft Auto series. On the other hand, I have to resist the urge to just write “Fuck this game”over and over for this entire review. I’ll be honest, I’m not really interested in walking you through the nuances of Grand Theft Auto III. Why? Because there aren’t any. If there’s one thing that Grand Theft Auto as a series is really short on, it’s nuance and depth. What we have here is nothing less than the poster child for pointless violence in gaming in the modern era. Notice how I’m saying pointless and not extreme or severe? There’s a reason for that. I freaking love extreme violence. I love to see shit blowing up and bodies flying around and people stabbing each other with big fucking swords while being eaten alive by honey badgers that haven’t eaten since last Thursday. All that stuff is great. As long as there’s a point. And there is no point to the violence in Grand Theft Auto. None. I know they have story modes, but the Grand Theft Auto player base gives zero fucks about them. I’ll steal a line from an article on violence in gaming I wrote a couple of months ago: “These games are masturbatory murder fantasies.” Period, end of discussion. They cater to the most base, lizard-brainy urges humanity has. And I think that sucks. There’s no emotional resonance in these games beyond the tingly feeling one gets in their bits when they know they’re breaking the rules, and I’m sorry, but that’s not enough. There’s nothing else to make you care. If there is, I sure as shit haven’t heard about it. And the saddest thing about this is that Rockstar proved they were capable of so much more with Red Dead Redemption. I’ve had people tell me that game literally moved them to tears, so it’s not like they don’t have the chops to give us the goods. But rather than try to tell a compelling story about crime, justice, consequence, revenge or anything pertinent, they gave us “Hey, you can shoot cops with a rocket launcher!!! WOOTWOOT!!!!” Ugh. Just…Ugh.
Hello gamers and welcome to day four of week thirteen in our 100 reviews in 100 days countdown!
Causing a stir in the #37 spot...
Grand Theft Auto 3
So…Okay. I’ve been looking forward to and dreading this moment. I have the opportunity to go on a truly epic rant about the Grand Theft Auto series. On the other hand, I have to resist the urge to just write “Fuck this game”over and over for this entire review. I’ll be honest, I’m not really interested in walking you through the nuances of Grand Theft Auto III. Why? Because there aren’t any. If there’s one thing that Grand Theft Auto as a series is really short on, it’s nuance and depth. What we have here is nothing less than the poster child for pointless violence in gaming in the modern era. Notice how I’m saying pointless and not extreme or severe? There’s a reason for that. I freaking love extreme violence. I love to see shit blowing up and bodies flying around and people stabbing each other with big fucking swords while being eaten alive by honey badgers that haven’t eaten since last Thursday. All that stuff is great. As long as there’s a point. And there is no point to the violence in Grand Theft Auto. None. I know they have story modes, but the Grand Theft Auto player base gives zero fucks about them. I’ll steal a line from an article on violence in gaming I wrote a couple of months ago: “These games are masturbatory murder fantasies.” Period, end of discussion. They cater to the most base, lizard-brainy urges humanity has. And I think that sucks. There’s no emotional resonance in these games beyond the tingly feeling one gets in their bits when they know they’re breaking the rules, and I’m sorry, but that’s not enough. There’s nothing else to make you care. If there is, I sure as shit haven’t heard about it. And the saddest thing about this is that Rockstar proved they were capable of so much more with Red Dead Redemption. I’ve had people tell me that game literally moved them to tears, so it’s not like they don’t have the chops to give us the goods. But rather than try to tell a compelling story about crime, justice, consequence, revenge or anything pertinent, they gave us “Hey, you can shoot cops with a rocket launcher!!! WOOTWOOT!!!!” Ugh. Just…Ugh.
