Uploaded August 2010 | Updated September 2026, 2 days ago

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23 Happiness is Not a Warm Scalpel

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Lyrics:

Amber:
I've never been so surgically maimed!

Rotti:
Amber, please, it's not that bad

Amber:
I'll be the laughingstock of the stage!

Rotti:
Daughter, please, it's not so bad

Amber:
This is your fault!
I asked you to help me!

Rotti:
Now, amber, please
I warned you about this
Happiness is not a warm scalpel

Amber:
I don't care! It's not fair!

Rotti:
Baby, baby, baby, don't do this

Amber:
I will never sing again!

Rotti:
I gave you the life I wished I'd had

Amber:
I look like a crime scene, Dad

Rotti:
All you ever do is take, take, take. All I ever do is give.
I said nothing when you came to me
Asking, "can I be Asian?"

Amber:
That surgery was only $90 grand!

Rotti:
I did not complain
When you changed your name
From Largo to Sweet

Amber:
I need a stage name!

Rotti:
You are a disgrace!
Your genes are not worthy of mine!