Uploaded February 2017 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
Once again the Oscars are here, and honoring the great Billy Crystal I made a parody-medley about the Best Picture nominees. Hope you enjoy it!
LYRICS
LION
He thinks about the day
He left his bro in a train station
Near Ganesh Talai
Was raised by Nicole Kidman, he started saying “mate”
Finally a change of fate
It was quite great
Suddenly
He remembers his past
He wants to find his family
He might go on TV
on a quiz show maybe
But by the end you’ll see
It’s a Google Earth ad.
HIDDEN FIGURES
There’s something you might not know
Not everyone at NASA looked like Sheldon
Black girls helped win the Space Race
But received no appraise because of their race
They had to fight against segregation
Uh-oh, while solving math equations
Enter Mary, Dorothy and Katherine
Make room for them and let them do their
Work, work!
Katherine!
Work, work!
Dorothy!
And Mary!
NASA’s hidden figures
Katharine!
Dorothy!
And Mary!
Work!
LA LA LAND
Mia is an actress working on a bar
Seb just wants to open a jazz club
They are two lost souls in this big city of stars.
They meet and while they dance they start falling in love
The classic musical is back on top
La La Land scored 14 noms
I want to learn how to tap dance but – I’ll
La la lacerate my spine
FENCES
Come on, help me put this fence up
You know you can’t say no
I need to finish it today
or Rose will get away
with murdering us all
Last year’s Oscars were so white
But now they’re not
There’s Denzel, Viola and Ruth
Come on, help me put this fence up
It doesn’t have to look like Trump’s wall
We’re all fucked
ARRIVAL
If we could talk to the aliens, just imagine it
Understand this heptapodic rings
Imagine jawing with a jawa, nattering with Na’vis
or translating the Xenomorph’s screams
If we could talk to the aliens, learn all their languages
I could write some Vogon poetry
Pronounce “exterminate” like daleks, howl just like a wookiee
pagh jatlh maj tlhIngan (or speak Klingon very well)
HACKSAW RIDGE
Oh no, oh no, oh no, he won’t, oh no he won’t
Oh no, he won’t carry a gun
a gun, a gun, a gun
Oh no, he won’t carry a gun into fight
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I think, oh yes, I think
Oh yes, I think Gibson is back
Is mad, is bad, is nuts
I mean, I think Mel Gibson is back in town
MANCHESTER BY THE SEA
If your brother had a heart attack and died (clap clap)
And you have to take care of his only child (clap clap)
But you’ll have to relocate, to the town you grew to hate
Where you killed your own kids when you lit a fire (clap clap)
HELL OR HIGH WATER
Hell or
High Water, he’ll catch you both
He can read Chris Pine’s blue eyes
and Ben Foster’s crazy smile
He knows you are the bank robbers
He can tell it from a mile
He may be a bit racist
and he will retire soon
But as his name is Jeff Bridges
He’ll catch you
MOONLIGHT
Life for Chiron is quite cruel
Has to face bullies in school
Mother’s addicted to crack
Whites hate him for being black
Is friends with a drug dealer
Ends up in juvy center
Struggles with sexuality
Damn
Bad luck Moonlight
Has it worse than John McClane
Or Tom Hanks in Cast Away
Or 2008 O.J.
Bad luck Moonlight
He’ll be bitten by a snake
In middle of an earthquake
Maybe that’s in the remake
But next Sunday night
We’ll find out who’s the winner
La La Land or Manchester
Fences, Hell or High Water
Maybe Moonlight
Is it Lion, Hacksaw Ridge
Arrival or Hidden Figures
Who knows
But next Sunday night
We will all find out
Yes, next Sunday night
We will all find out
FOLLOW ME
TWITTER - twitter.com/spantonline
FACEBOOK - facebook.com/spantonline
TUMBLR - whatsuphouston.tumblr.com
Once again the Oscars are here, and honoring the great Billy Crystal I made a parody-medley about the Best Picture nominees. Hope you enjoy it!
LYRICS
LION
He thinks about the day
He left his bro in a train station
Near Ganesh Talai
Was raised by Nicole Kidman, he started saying “mate”
Finally a change of fate
It was quite great
Suddenly
He remembers his past
He wants to find his family
He might go on TV
on a quiz show maybe
But by the end you’ll see
It’s a Google Earth ad.
HIDDEN FIGURES
There’s something you might not know
Not everyone at NASA looked like Sheldon
Black girls helped win the Space Race
But received no appraise because of their race
They had to fight against segregation
Uh-oh, while solving math equations
Enter Mary, Dorothy and Katherine
Make room for them and let them do their
Work, work!
Katherine!
Work, work!
Dorothy!
And Mary!
NASA’s hidden figures
Katharine!
Dorothy!
And Mary!
Work!
LA LA LAND
Mia is an actress working on a bar
Seb just wants to open a jazz club
They are two lost souls in this big city of stars.
They meet and while they dance they start falling in love
The classic musical is back on top
La La Land scored 14 noms
I want to learn how to tap dance but – I’ll
La la lacerate my spine
FENCES
Come on, help me put this fence up
You know you can’t say no
I need to finish it today
or Rose will get away
with murdering us all
Last year’s Oscars were so white
But now they’re not
There’s Denzel, Viola and Ruth
Come on, help me put this fence up
It doesn’t have to look like Trump’s wall
We’re all fucked
ARRIVAL
If we could talk to the aliens, just imagine it
Understand this heptapodic rings
Imagine jawing with a jawa, nattering with Na’vis
or translating the Xenomorph’s screams
If we could talk to the aliens, learn all their languages
I could write some Vogon poetry
Pronounce “exterminate” like daleks, howl just like a wookiee
pagh jatlh maj tlhIngan (or speak Klingon very well)
HACKSAW RIDGE
Oh no, oh no, oh no, he won’t, oh no he won’t
Oh no, he won’t carry a gun
a gun, a gun, a gun
Oh no, he won’t carry a gun into fight
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I think, oh yes, I think
Oh yes, I think Gibson is back
Is mad, is bad, is nuts
I mean, I think Mel Gibson is back in town
MANCHESTER BY THE SEA
If your brother had a heart attack and died (clap clap)
And you have to take care of his only child (clap clap)
But you’ll have to relocate, to the town you grew to hate
Where you killed your own kids when you lit a fire (clap clap)
HELL OR HIGH WATER
Hell or
High Water, he’ll catch you both
He can read Chris Pine’s blue eyes
and Ben Foster’s crazy smile
He knows you are the bank robbers
He can tell it from a mile
He may be a bit racist
and he will retire soon
But as his name is Jeff Bridges
He’ll catch you
MOONLIGHT
Life for Chiron is quite cruel
Has to face bullies in school
Mother’s addicted to crack
Whites hate him for being black
Is friends with a drug dealer
Ends up in juvy center
Struggles with sexuality
Damn
Bad luck Moonlight
Has it worse than John McClane
Or Tom Hanks in Cast Away
Or 2008 O.J.
Bad luck Moonlight
He’ll be bitten by a snake
In middle of an earthquake
Maybe that’s in the remake
But next Sunday night
We’ll find out who’s the winner
La La Land or Manchester
Fences, Hell or High Water
Maybe Moonlight
Is it Lion, Hacksaw Ridge
Arrival or Hidden Figures
Who knows
But next Sunday night
We will all find out
Yes, next Sunday night
We will all find out
FOLLOW ME
TWITTER - twitter.com/spantonline
FACEBOOK - facebook.com/spantonline
TUMBLR - whatsuphouston.tumblr.com
