#15secondsToBoston -- Get Outta Town! @krumbine

Uploaded December 2015 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

Watch all the videos from my Boston trip:

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLF9WczmM2CsV0WIgYWCeJA-wvD5TCVUK

$Dont Be a Monster, RICHARD! a novel by Jordan Krumbine [FULL #AUDIOBOOK 🔉] Look, its a story about a guy whose penis falls off, turns into a monster, and then terrorizes the city. Theres a military defense contractor, so theres a lot of toxic phallic imagery. Speaking of phallic, theres also a wannabe governor campaigning on states rights to WMDs. Also, the eponymous monster dick may or may not jump across multiple bodies, regardless of gender. A dude plays the flute. Another dude beatboxes. Theres a restaurant called Nips & Sips. Toxic masculinity meets the symbiotic power of creative expression ... but with lots of dick. Critically, this is a story that will never be made into a feature film because there isnt a single studio or platform with the courage to go all in on all dick. I could tell you more, but lets be honest—you already know if youre going to read this one or not. Merry Penis, every one! *** And, hey! Theres an (unofficial!) OST, too! Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLF9WczmM2CuBcMuw4LFJJ3TvIIR5-D84 Dont Be a Monster, Dick! on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62646434-don-t-be-a-monster-dick Written, performed, and produced by Jordan Krumbine https://www.emergencycreative.com https:/www.YouTubeBooks.com This #audiobook is totally free if you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a review on Goodreads! Subscribe for more original (and classic) audiobooks! Great for #youtubepremium background play! CHAPTERS! 00:07 - Content Warning 02:33 - PROLOGUE: The First Cut 23:29 - CHAPTER 1: Richard & Tess 43:38 - CHAPTER 2: ... and Brad 59:53 - CHAPTER 3: Dick Gobbler, the Skin-Flute Slobberer 01:17:10 - CHAPTER 4: Dropping the Beat 01:34:48 - CHAPTER 5: And the Beat Goes On ... 01:46:21 - CHAPTER 6: A Dick Stuck in a Dick (Metaphorically Speaking) 02:03:25 - CHAPTER 7: Killer Chuck 02:23:54 - CHAPTER 8: Access Denied ... ish 02:47:15 - CHAPTER 9: The Man in the Ivory Tower 03:06:30 - CHAPTER 10: One Mystery Letter, Please 03:14:10 - CHAPTER 11: The Invasion 03:29:29 - CHAPTER 12: Brad Assumes the Best 03:32:04 - CHAPTER 13: A Dick in the Crotch is Worth Two in the WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?! 03:47:43 - CHAPTER 14: A Dick in a Strange Place 04:06:32 - CHAPTER 15: The Striking Cobra-Like Penis Monster-Thing 04:17:26 - CHAPTER 16: Nips & Sips 04:34:24 - CHAPTER 17: Nips & Sips & Monster Dick Tips 04:46:29 - CHAPTER 18: A Dick Thrusting in a Dick ... Metaphorically Speaking 04:54:10 - CHAPTER 19: Superdick/Superhero 05:11:11 - CHAPTER 20: Self-Aware Dick 05:29:00 - CHAPTER 21: Refractory Period 05:41:22 - CHAPTER 22: A Dick in the Wind 05:56:39 - CHAPTER 23: Look, Y’all, Brad’s Bad 06:02:30 - CHAPTER 24: Don’t Be A Dick, Just Look Up 06:15:13 - CHAPTER 25: Justine 06:27:33 - CHAPTER 26: Justine ... Plus One 06:36:07 - CHAPTER 27: The Return of Dick Piccolo? 06:43:12 - CHAPTER 28: About That Prologue ... 07:01:06 - CHAPTER 29: A Not-So-Lovely Bunch of Coconuts 07:16:10 - CHAPTER 30: The Dick that Lit the Match that Set the World of Fire 07:25:59 - CHAPTER 31: The Fire that Unleashed the Dick that F**ked Some S**t Up 07:43:09 - CHAPTER 32: Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor 07:49:59 - CHAPTER 33: A Loyal Dick Would Never Get the Shaft 08:11:22 - CHAPTER 34: ... but didn’t she already have massive balls? 08:21:54 - CHAPTER 35: Chuck is the Hero We Need 08:30:29 - CHAPTER 36: Chuck Versus the Monster C**k 08:44:12 - CHAPTER 37: Dorian King’s Other Office 08:54:59 - CHAPTER 38: Chekhov’s Dick 09:10:41 - CHAPTER 39: You Didn’t Forget About Him, Did You? 09:19:13 - CHAPTER 40: The Many Regrets of the Man in the Ivory Tower 09:28:17 - CHAPTER 41: The One Where They Finally Say the Thing 09:45:02 - EPILOGUE: You Get a Happy Ending, and You Get a Happy Ending, and You Get a Happy Ending ... 09:59:31 - AUTHOR’S NOTE #listen #listenable #freeaudiobooks #story #fiction #Narration #BookLovers #ReadingAloud #Storytelling #BestAudiobooks #FullAudiobook #CompleteAudiobook #AudioNovel #FullLengthAudiobook$

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