shottysteve
yo but im not a rapper tho
updated 10 years ago
twitter.com/shottysteve
join our rust server! connect 104.129.132.229:28316
huge thanks to the fine actors in this video.
gunching - steve
jo - tammy
foths - simp guy
delayed - guy guy
swaws - guy guy guy
zive - guy guy guy guy
chirs - guy guy guy guy guy
nabebl - guy guy guy guy guy guy
ripsick - guy guy guy guy guy guy guy
as well as the fine audio provided by elizark.
parody of "just a friend" by mr. biz markie in counter-strike: global offensive
*****LYRICS*****
(Intro)
Yo moms is so ugly her teeth look like she ate a flashbang,
Oooohhhh
Yo mama so fat she thought banana was a fruit,
It is bro, (yeah like on italy)
Oh I got one, Yo mama so poor, for your birthday she got you a gut knife field-tested!
(bro thats kinda messed up)
(Cue track)
Have you ever played a game where you met somebody,
That was cracked like a cracker, and whack like karate?
Let me tell ya a story of my online flick,
With my lady friend in counterstrike, my online chick.
The way that I met her was on inferno in comp,
We were both at the top it was a 10-2 stomp
I just won a clutch I was pourin' with sweat
And outta nowhere i heard a voice in my headset
She said “that was insane, can i add you on steam?”
My buddy called me a simp and she said “don’t be mean”
I added her back, and we continued our game,
She got a 2 piece collat, she put flusha to shame
I hit a couple flicks and she was enthused,
I said, "ez clutch" she said, "nice job defuse" *“bro stop simping”*
After the game, we rapped for a while,
But then I saw something strange on her steam profile,
She had a fac new (knife) named heart young tim,
I asked her who that, she said, "Nobody, it’s just a skin"
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing
You, you got what I need but you say it's just a skin,
And you say it's just a skin, oh baby (x2)
So I took her word, didn’t wanna lose on time,
I thought just havin' a skin didn’t make her non-prime,
'Cause I got skins and that's a fact,
Like my p2 sand dune, and my hat,
Forget about that, let's go into the story,
About this girl with a knife in her inventory,
So we started talkin' every day on discord and AIM,
Spendin' a lot of time in and out of game so I’d bhoppin out the
Friend zone and then we could give it a whirl,
How it's gonna be when she was my e-girl
Everything was great, and that’s not just talk,
I had no idea I was in for a shock
I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt,
There was a heat in the room I felt my keyboard melt,
I told her that I liked her and the message said read,
A couple minutes went by, and then she finally said:
You, you got what I need, but I think we should stay friends,
I don’t want this thing to end,
Please, just tell me the truth, is it really just a skin,
Is this just because of tim,
She said tim? Excuse me? And then she was offline.
I didn’t hear from her for a long time.
A week went by until I finally heard back.
I said i was just a toe and you were my tic tac,
I miss you so much, please can you forgive me,
I made a mistake and ruined what could be,
I said I need to talk to you and I gave her a ring,
But there was no answer, and then I heard a ding,
She said Tim was my nickname on steam in the past,
I have feelings for you, but I wanted this to last,
I said then please answer the call, I need to know,
If I’m the man for you or just another joe,
This time she picked up, to my surprise,
Oh, snap! Right in front of my eyes,
The girl I fell in love with was actually a guy,
I thought for a sec, and said I guess I’m bi,
I said you,
you got what I need,
Even though you are a he,
You are everything to me
Oh baby, you...
Thanks for stickin around guys.
csgo is the best, valorant sucks. pass it on.
Twitter me at twitter.com/shottysteve
This was supposed to be an entirely different video, and it was going to be split into 2. One was going to be a much longer extended cut of JesseGryphon, and it would be called "Griefing the Gryphon". I decided to slam it all together and bam, here's the vid. Nawm sayin?
Twitter me at twitter.com/shottysteve
Links:
TheWarOwl- youtube.com/TheWarOwl
Scurrow- youtube.com/Mooshpups
JesseGryphon- twitch.tv/jessegryphon
Special thanks to...
Vital youtube.com/user/Vytukaz111
swyrl youtube.com/channel/UCEiIZeSb8GRxuDhUd2nReDQ
slackybro youtube.com/user/SlackyBro
and Syncr... but he doesn't have a channel.
Lyrics:
Why are you so, toxic like moe,
When did you stop being the cs I know, You
used to be about headshots and wins,
now you just talk about gambling skins
Where have you gone, What are you on,
If its power then, can I buy some.
How dare you stand where he stood,
you were get_right now you're get_good,
Divided in two but at least we have prime,
spend 3 dollars and hope for a dime...
1 step forward and 5 ranks back,
Sometimes I don't why we still come back
we come back, we come back,
we come back unlike kqly cause kqly got vacd,
we come back, we come back,
1 out of 2 isnt bad, flusha hacks.
Why are these things still things,
If allu these redbulls could give me wings,
to fly away, to try one day, back to
yesterday... but then we'd be
Back to reality,
where capitalizing is key,
And if thats the case then shout at me,
cause I'd prefer if we rushed b.
When did this become cool,
gambling lives away in middle school,
didn't you know we would throw, if
I bet I shoulda been banned a long time ago
Cause I think I've got a clue,
why I keep on comin back to you,
I think its cause we're family.
But sadly my parents are jews.
We come back, we come back,
our parents are jews but still we come back,
we come back, we come back,
flusha cheats
I think VAC doesn't stop hacks, that well
does that make me anti-vacc?
If thats the case, then call me kqly,
cause kqly never came back
But honestly, why do we,
come back after everything that we've seen,
I think its cause we're family,
disfunctional though it might seem.
Through backaches, and headshakes,
we've been through it all,
heartbreaks and mistakes,
the rise and the fall,
We're rushing B, but B is stacked,
The ninjas are down... but they'll come back,
we'll come back. we'll come back
we'll come back... we'll come back,
we'll come back...
Oh hey, whats up.
Special thanks to Nathan, slackybro, shep, and my patrons.
(shoutouts to philip for figuring out) the smoke bug, youtube.com/watch?v=yZxI4qdyVXM
match was found but you failed to accept bug, youtube.com/watch?v=Hnxjkeldxfw
accept button wont go away, youtube.com/watch?v=481eWUb9H10
button bigger than when the Pros (get it like virtus pro) threw the major away, (they might not get it, edit in video, but it still might be a stretch)
*sniff*
pickin up weapons through walls,
if only shazam listened to calls,
and flusha didnt have walls,
call him smiggie balls,
what?
shit, i got off topic,
but, m0es dick is so small its microscopic
head through the roof bug, gfycat.com/HighlevelSilkyAnaconda
duplicate grenades bug, youtube.com/watch?v=tagJotECi5A
corrupt downloads give me aids bug youtube.com/watch?v=Zqr-0D7taP0
hover bug, youtube.com/watch?v=39S-dOjBX9w
smoke doesnt put out fire bug clips.twitch.tv/godazed/GleamingCobraDogFace
pissed off dazed, pissed for days, missed four days
throwing a grenade at a teammate can go through the door reddit.com/r/GlobalOffensive/comments/5llpih/door_grenades_bug
or get stuck in the floor, reddit.com/r/GlobalOffensive/comments/5oncui/interesting_smoke_bug
or get stuck in YOUR rear, gfycat.com/TemptingFortunateIrishredandwhitesetter
like steels... career, (thrown)
laying down bug youtube.com/watch?v=FAi2uJoYViM
flashes don't flash if inside a grenade bug youtube.com/watch?v=vOEaAM8LY7c
flash and open buy bug
- shoot through the wall bug (pharah)
(thats overwatch, oh shit)
Chickens can block bullets, hindering gameplay?
(I don't know. It's on steam's website.)
Garfield Daily Web Comic is not compatible with steam.
if only the word ninjas was compatible with a competent team. youtu.be/CCkdYUTajhk
That's it. That's all of bugs. Well, most.
sv_grenade_trajectory only works for the server host. youtube.com/watch?v=wtGrshGv68c&list=PLfO0zcr_cUznfrqCc0xa3CIU1npDKHgAn
I still remember when this list used to be longer,
ladder hitboxes, jumping, or when the r8 was a bit stronger,youtube.com/watch?v=5wcAYAYn5l4 and youtube.com/watch?v=7XdCiFUDoFU
or when you could kick the bots, youtube.com/watch?v=X-AqaZlcsog
or when nip could hit their shots,
god damnit nip i miss you guys...
Anyway, the fact that this list keeps gettin shorter and shorter,
like the lifespan of a trump supporter, youtube.com/watch?v=DHhy2Gk_xik
is just proof that- well don't start a fuss.
but maybe, just maybe gabe didnt give up on us.
***this line left intentionally blank***
My patreon: patreon.com/shottysteve
Just posted some stuff to it!
also, big ol' thanks to elizark for letting me use his song "Jenni". youtu.be/o8ZmowODNUA
lyrics:
they call me spyro.
they call me spyro the dragon,
cause im draggin my dick across the floor like a wagon
call me urkel,
cause i got a dick like a circle,
dick so round *breath*
beef ground and pound,
underground like mario,
monkeying around,
dk. donkey kong.
shot a gorilla
call it a donkey kong country
but gorilla and country dont rhyme, fuck.
----
god damnit, bitch lemme render
call me rodriguez bender
got more kinks in my hose than a sex offender
return to sender, slacky wacking off sounds like a blender,
chick in the oven till its chicken tender
----
hey guys,
its ya boy shottysteve
wait, dont leave,
i cant believe
its not butter
you heard me- right
i didn't stutter,
bee movie like a turkey cutter,
ZZZZ
buzzin,
thanks guys- thanks a dozen,
you dont know how much it means to me,
it was all so sudden,
20k?
its a good ass day
im on cloud 9 or adderall or something,
like n0thing on a good day, eyes like stewie2k,
just add nothing im stewie2 Ok,
the amount of time that joke took to write,
not okay
a whole ass day for a whole ass verse,
im bad at writing jokes, im probably just getting worse.
yeah, yeah, i probably shoulda finished writing this verse
elijah. this beat is fijah,
like a burning schoolbus full of kids on fijah
i told you i wouldnt put that in the rap but i did,
fuck you kid
20k?
its a good-ass day
its a good ass day
like uh, cat. you know, on dust 2. hahahaha
hahahaha
haha
music by Com Truise: youtu.be/BGNsFH0NRP8
The way the lobby worked was really weird, as there was a "Join Game" button on peoples' profiles that let you link directly to the lobby, even if you weren't friends with them. That way, if you just copied their lobby link, you could paste it in and join their lobby over and over.
If a person joins a currently searching lobby, the lobby will stop searching until the lobby leader starts the queue again.
If a lobby has more than 5 people, the lobby will be unable to queue until one of the lobby members is kicked.
music (i lost all my eggs by shawn wasabi): youtube.com/watch?v=6ZcaXikDUqU
r8 green screen video: youtube.com/channel/UCBuylCZrF-nGKC_vsJ0PJLQ
previous episode: youtu.be/Pkl3kTsVSqo
youtu.be/wDnhFEzXT2c
muh vids: youtube.com/shottysteven/videos
Don't go hating on the people that were "mean" to me! This is just a joke. The guy that kicked me is a bro. :D
Song name: Passion Pit - Constant Conversation (St. Lucia Remix) youtu.be/E3hltc8Wgfw


