things i mention: 'everyone's favorite musical comic' is bo, obviously, u guys all saw that shit right 'watskycles' (i'm so dumb) IS TO MEAN watsky, line is from his song don't be nice it's called the dunning-kruger effect the franz wright poem is called publication date the other poems mentioned are glow by ada limon, wild geese by mary oliver, my god, it's full of stars by tracy k smith, and for grace, after a party by frank o'hara
music in order of appearance: so funny - haley blais k.k. stroll - the inimitable k.k. slider grape soda bby - fox academy horologist - osoku bye darla (it's sad to say goodbye) - fox academy pretty - fox academy
things i mention: 'everyone's favorite musical comic' is bo, obviously, u guys all saw that shit right 'watskycles' (i'm so dumb) IS TO MEAN watsky, line is from his song don't be nice it's called the dunning-kruger effect the franz wright poem is called publication date the other poems mentioned are glow by ada limon, wild geese by mary oliver, my god, it's full of stars by tracy k smith, and for grace, after a party by frank o'hara
music in order of appearance: so funny - haley blais k.k. stroll - the inimitable k.k. slider grape soda bby - fox academy horologist - osoku bye darla (it's sad to say goodbye) - fox academy pretty - fox academyis the world getting worseSavannah Brown2024-03-05 | not unquestioned optimism..channelling whatever desynchronicity we feel into projects in which there is touchable benefit...art...c*mmuni*y...
00:00 - intro 00:22 - base-level mind-hacking 03:22 - maybe numbers would help 07:51 - bedtime stories 12:50 - maybe nietzsche was right :( 16:25 - spec ficwhat is love. baby youre hurting me ow ow owSavannah Brown2023-10-08 | here's the patreon!! http://www.patreon.com/savbrown cool lil place, i'll see u inside
00:00 - patreon 00:31 - what's going on 03:23 - ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch 09:31 - that which cannot be taught but must be learned 13:35 - epilogueim not an alien im just autistic :)Savannah Brown2023-08-01 | what do u get when u cross undiagnosed autism with the american midwest and catholic hell?? two thumbs!! this guuuuy!!!!
music in order of appearance musical mandalas falling awake k.k. lament (aircheck) by k.k. slider the dog sad 8-bit track youtube.com/watch?v=Ieko8-aRvqw 11pm animal crossing new leaf 💕 burn baby burn by sea power 💕 mice on venus but make it nostalgic youtube.com/watch?v=v1wMBrkUEFE
00:00 - drama 01:56 - hello 03:11 - mysteries of the past 11:11 - mysteries of the present 17:30 - mysteries of the futureif im you and youre me then...whos thatSavannah Brown2022-10-18 | closer baby closer: doomsdaypress.co.uk/product-page/closer-baby-closer the tour has since concluded but more to come....
was rly debating still going ahead with this now in the midst of the Everything That Is Happening but! figured things will only get stranger. hope u all are thrivin n survivin and that this is perhaps a fun little virus-free distraction. i am genuinely so excited for people to read this one!! feels sort of like i've Arrived!!
blurb: 'Savannah Brown’s long-awaited second collection of poetry is at once philosophical and accessible, just as concerned with the biggest questions of being as the smallest personal desires, which might be one and the same.
London (and occasionally the apocalypse) as a backdrop, SWEETDARK explores the transience of existence, the pursuit of vulnerability, pleasure, chaos, and the dichotomy of a life wholly experienced, full of so much darkness and so much sweetness, sometimes in the same breath.'
aftercare: a scaldingly hot shower, a long walk on a nice day, burying ur face in a tolerant cat’s belly fur, scooby doo 2 monsters unleashed, cleaning ur flat, my ‘is it summer yet im gonna scream’ spotify playlist afteraftercare: epicurus and ethical hedonism, sort of antinatalism, nietzche’s eternal return, also have been reading fernando pessoa and camus and a bit of emil cioran’s books full of Very Melodramatic Tweets
this vid isn't monetized bc i just HAD to USE my SONGS didn't i but if u enjoyed this and would like to give me a Lil Sliver of Money u can: ko-fi.com/savbrown
songs are gotta get up by harry nilsson (hello russian doll) and blue heaven and metal both by fox academy
words: surrounded by the sloughed ribbons of my body i take the long way home and find you there, girl banner in a rioting wind, capricious little grouch starved for something unknown to everyone especially you– of course you’re angry
watch as you eddy the tadpoles thinking yourself some omnipotent god from the pond skaters, the foxgloves, you’ll accept prayers until lunch scent awash in green raking at tree bark knees a growing thing it’s you, really, in the murky water and the mason jar
you’re a relic of a soil-buried epoch phosphene-drenched kaleidoscope of days, days which yawn so deeply they wrap round the other side too dizzying to love anywhere but from a distance
when we meet i hold your face in my hands (myfaceyourhands) you smile like swelling yellow spring and plead take me with you, finished thing
and how, then, can i not piece myself back together? she’s wrong. still flowering, same baby-wrists encircled by blades of grass, same metallic ring of bird bones:
so how can i not look at myself — (in the reflective universe behind our house, off the silver-tinged powder of august haze) — how can i not look at myself and love her, toothe truth about keeping secrets chapter oneSavannah Brown2019-02-21 | props to the mirror for exposing my TERRIBLE POSTURE!!!
+ words + she winces at the kitchen table, squeezes her thigh to bury the sting, and says you know, i don’t think i was scared of death until i met you remind me— were you scared of time?
folie a deux. it’s french for madness of two it means that her blood’s not clean, and if you drink it, you’ll end up with the exact same sick, my friend. don’t say i didn’t warn you! her honeycomb’s sweet, but your sanity’s sweeter
one of you the tapeworm the other is the sheep and you can lead a sheep to answers, but you can’t make them think
but, here’s the hot-lipped truth of it: everyone’s sad. don’t think you’re special. everyone’s sad and everyone’s scared and everyone carries it around with them, wallets spilling over with wilted daffodils and finger bones— everyone’s got their own sludge. but when you mix it, oh that’s when you get into the dangerous stuff. and you’ve done much more, than mix, dear this is bona fide alchemy black magic shit you’ve made a new monster, frankenstein and it appears it doesn’t want you to leave the house
no need to panic, but in panic we trust it always gets the job done!
she eats the unlucky flies because she just wants you safe, says listen. i don’t mean to project, but i’m pretty sure we’re the only two people on this wretched planet who aren’t on fire
so why catch? it’s so dangerous out there - why go? we have everything you could ever need in here
words: where you are born will never change in name nor place nor creed old words decay and footprints fade but it’s still home indeed
someday you’ll make the grand return to see with outlook new all that has gone, where the time went if they’ve forgotten you
the smells are unfamiliar in the boxed-up clothes you wore even mirrors don’t reflect the way you thought they did before
you’ll find the buildings taller, that the halls are full of ghosts but everything still here is what you remember most
firsts and lasts and birthdays (july would warm them all) frigid days spent breathing in the apple-colored fall
we slept until the winter when the world was painted grey draped ourselves in scarlet and it all melted away
braving rain, we’d pedal to the river styx at dusk where the world did not stretch further than the thickets and the rust
here, i play the role of past-girl jumping back onto the scene i fit the part so nicely that you’d think the girl was me
though i may roam (to different sights! - out of small shoes i’ll grow) there’ll always be a part of me that’s filled with ohioloving like an existentialistSavannah Brown2016-10-22 | this is loving like an existentialist. i hope you like it.
there are many theories as to how we came to be (i’m not sure which one i believe).
did we appear as dually flickering lights above a hazy skyline? fluttering, distant, choking on stifling fog: first solitary decades of life as a lukewarm utterance into the vacuum, whispering, “oh, what is this emptiness?” haggard gesturing suggesting half is not missing, but whole
and someday, when beacons collide, not coincidence, but prophecy, wrenching claims of meant-to-be the sparks erupt in ultraviolet chaos, volcanic, raging, a mighty wallop of colour and sound, a shattering cry of belonging splitting time itself.
i don’t think so. i don’t think i was born to love anyone except myself, and even that, some days, i’m not sure is true.
i don’t think our initials are carved into anything immortal, let alone battered into the very cosmos; the air didn't lock into place upon our arrival, awaiting the moment our silhouettes would one day fill the empty space.
i could fall in love with a melody, let crawl through my body (or a train ride, or alabaster sheets; there are chemicals that do these things to me), i could grow fond of many things but how particular my fondness of you
how fervent, how violent, how gentle
i think we're just moths riding on the backs of giants and i wasn't drawn to you because our wings are both blue but because they're the same colour as everyone else’s and you were willing to listen to why that scared me
we’re not star-crossed but we can still wrap ourselves in the seams of a quilted universe that we did not stitch; bathe in the glow of a sun that does not shine for us; run atop an earth that does not feel our hurried footsteps as they thump, thump thump
how lucky we are to have nothing expected of us. quickly—all the time we will ever know is tapping her toes on the doorstep and i do not want to keep her waitingextraction: a poemSavannah Brown2016-08-03 | just a short one. it's like inside out but edgy
words: if i forced on you a scalpel would you use it as i say i’ll sit still while you penetrate and slowly slice the flesh away
milking from my skull with your acquiescent touch burrow deeper, quickly, faster— at any moment this’ll be too much
for me to take clutching arm as you descend latex stings, drill bit sings digging into brain until it bends
now, please, for me i’ll say, with incandescent whine extract my anger from the sinew pluck my lust destroy my pride
do these things make me a man asks my ego, lurid leech latching fast onto the stem with my malice and my greed
my contempt does me no favours tied tight to intensity it looks too much like passion so they’re all taken from me
with a swoop and rip assertion dead after ire cunning cut from contemplation so this is what they all admire
and then fill the empty space with some cotton and some web stitch me up with twine tie a bow atop my mangled head
and then everything’s finecivil wars (original song)Savannah Brown2016-06-19 | chords are easy!! the chorus is dm f c g, the "ah"'s are dm f dm g, chorus is am f c g, and the bridge is am g c g. i was just picking whichever notes i thought sounded nice. feel free to change it up :-)
+ words + i’m a freak, please, try to understand i hold my pen funny and i can’t stop thinking 'bout the end of time something i’ll never see but oh, i want to so desperately
little mind, steps unsteady and i'm not ready to hurdle through the atmosphere i’ll end up somewhere far from here i’ll end up somewhere far from you
in bed i’m fighting civil wars still don’t know what i am here for some nights come crashing in, lately i just let them
i like to think we’re on repeat maybe everything has to end but when i open my eyes again we meet
and it’s good as new and again, i get to fall in love with you
it wouldn't be so bad if i could take you with me, oh i guess it's not enough begging to live forever, no
in bed i’m fighting civil wars still don’t know what i am here for some nights come crashing in lately i just let them
there’s a great big world out there my dear, tell me how can it be fair what will become of me what will become of you
when we learn to stop time then for eternity you’ll be mine what will become of me what will become of you
+ words + it's my swim upstream dream to breathe deep and feel reality you wash over me like i’m filled with amphetamines oh my god, is this it? you never think you’re gonna go like this death from lip bites and fits swallowing your tongue until you call it quits
but i don’t mind it grows warm in a way like a cool pool of water on an ever cooler day and it’s nice to sit and think in no i don’t mind i don’t want to fuss please don’t move the moon for me, i don’t mean that much i’m not even much fun at parties
don't like when you look at me that way i'm never sure what to say my feet won’t let me run away i know i’m just a boring cliche i’m not sure how it’s done repeating words in my head like i’m reloading a gun can’t think which step comes after one stuck at the start disguise undone
but i don’t mind i just might stay at home it’s quiet there, i think i’m better off alone because i can go to sleep when i want to no i don’t mind can’t apologize again i’m neck deep in my mistakes so i’ll just drop by when i’m ready but i’m never ready
i want to keep up but your strides are too fast and far and strong lately i’ve been struggling to feel like i really belong
but i don’t mind it grows warm in a way like a cool pool of water on an ever cooler day and it’s nice to sit and think in no i don’t mind i don’t want to fuss please don’t move the moon for me, i don’t mean that much i’m not even that much fun
oh no it’s fine, i’m just going insane i’ve got a black hole for a heart and bullet for a brain how did i end up here
see it’s okay, because in the end the ground will swallow us anyway with all of our friends and i won’t feel so different anymore
words: i would like very much to live in a small hole in the ground like a mole a small hole for an even smaller mole maybe dug into the side of a hill and i will close off the entrance to keep out the chill of the winters, heat of the summers no one would know, but please tell my mother i’m sorry, i’m sorry but it had to be done because when you can’t run from the invisible weight of the world teetering on your shoulder blades just smother yourself with dirt bury yourself alive so at least then you know where the suffocation is coming from because when i can feel my stomach being pulled out through my lips and forced back down again whenever its decided so i’d at least like to know who’s responsible so i can thank them for giving me a gag reflex crafted from steel and the artistry to construct a creative, well-rounded list of a thousand and one ways i could die i’ve learned that when fire and ice combine they don’t divide, they multiply two extremes don’t cancel they intensify and yes there’s something bringing the cold but oh i bring the burn if i was a mole in the side of a hill i wouldn’t seek that same masochistic thrill that keeps my human heart humming human mind numbing someone please help me, i think i’m becoming insignificant again that’s the third time today a mole wouldn’t cry when asked of its day when i was little i was told i had an excellent imagination who ever would have guessed i’d use it in the creation of my own personal hell where everything’s my fault and no matter how small i get i always take up too much space while at the same time taking up no space because have you ever thought about how big space is everyone’s so small but i’m the biggest small of them all not if i was a mole in the side of a hill with neither the heat nor the chill it’s quiet and cosy but really, that’s silly and i don’t suppose we could come to some sort of agreement for there’s lives to be lived business to conduct there’s moments to experience and there’s nothing to discuss things to think too much everything to think too much i always think too muchreal estate: a poemSavannah Brown2015-04-03 | words: i am my own i have built myself a one bedroom single bed home in my bones with a garden and white picket fence but if you had sense you’d look close to see the paint curling off the planks so obviously, i’ve never understood why i stain it so religiously when it’ll always be a mess underneath the fake finesse but i digress i keep my lawn manicured snipped short till i bite skin and if you ask nicely step through the land mines you can come in we’ll enter through the attic it’s a topsy turvy cluttered catastrophe while some spiderweb-coated corners and crannies cover the space other parts are pristine sparkling, new, unused but if only i knew what to do with the walls, short sprawling verses envelope them all the heart, i’d say is the living room and if you don’t mind the palpitations looming threat of infatuation occasional lack of motivation it’s not a bad spot to spend your time while away hours, thinking up rhymes the ceiling drips with blood, ink and something that when you run your fingers through it feels like nostalgia the kitchen’s too big for just me hallways too wide too much space for echoes inside it gets lonely when you only have conversations with your own voice but i guess i have a choice i could go if i wanted share the floorboards with someone in a place less haunted but i like it here and i’m happy to stay in this mess on my own in this home i have built for myself in my bones