Newel of Knowledge
If you dont know your Values, youre F**ked
updated
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/1FRO4KMCcP09uojMjo4Xi2?si=e1d9ac403b214520
Article mentioned:
psyche.co/ideas/personal-transformation-can-start-with-a-whisper-not-a-bang
Other articles I read while researching this video:
aeon.co/ideas/to-make-laziness-work-for-you-put-some-effort-into-it
aeon.co/essays/why-do-i-let-myself-sabotage-my-own-best-laid-plans
0:00 Fall vs slide
0:57 The 1 min 31 seconds summary of this video
3:01 (1) R: Recognise the slip.
6:14 Listen to your whispers
8:48 Bigger picture: why do we self sabotage?
13:45 Bonus tools
17:33 (2) U: Use your anchors.
19:06 Bonus tools
23:45 (3) T: Time your stops.
26:09 Bigger picture: why we're so lazy
27:44 Bonus tools
30:23 Final: redefine progress
32:12 Final bonus tool
33:02 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Study mentioned:
journals.plos.org/ploscompbiol/article?id=10.1371/journal.pcbi.1003335
0:00 Close open loops...
0:47 (1) Why closing loops releases energy
2:01 (2) What modern science says...
2:56 (3) What you need to do...
4:22 (4) Remember this when you get stuck...
5:34 (5) Do loops ever end? :(
6:16 Gracias y outro rizz...
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Research done for this video:
Article by Karen Simecek:
- psyche.co/ideas/your-life-is-not-a-story-why-narrative-thinking-holds-you-back
Books mentioned:
- Being and nothingness (Jean Paul Sartre)
- Tiny Experiments (Anne-Laure Le Cunff)
0:00 Your mind is lying…
0:45 The 2 minute summary of this video
2:50 What we’ll cover
3:36 (1) Why your brain creates stories in the first place
9:15 (2) The real trouble with telling yourself stories
17:47 (3) The 3 most common scripts we all follow
27:40 (4) How to drop your scripts (self-anthropology)
37:18 (5) Choosing to live a narrative free life
45:03 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Social harmony...
1:30 (1) Self deprecation
3:54 (2) How to be self deprecating without putting yourself down
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The 30 second summary
0:50 (1) Understand context dependent memory
4:19 (1.1) Think opposite
16:44 (1.2) Imagine the potential of future positive events happening
18:12 (2) Decide for something you want
22:44 (3) Practices of certainty
25:09 (4) Exercise & sleep
30:44 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The quality of your social life…
0:16 Incongruence vs congruence
0:53 The choice is yours
1:32 What we’re going to cover
2:17 The bottom line of this video…
2:58 (1) The bigger picture of “congruence”
6:03 (2) A deeper definition of congruence & how to be genuine
11:46 (3) 3 quotes on congruence
15:04 (4) MASTER social skill: how to deal with incongruence in others
21:06 (5) The 11 steps of becoming a person
30:59 Psychological health
31:35 (6) 2 ways to become more congruent
37:01 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The 7 reasons why…
1:02 The 30 second summary of this video
1:36 (1) You’re not serious enough about changing
4:35 (2) You’re focused on effects instead of causes
7:09 (3) The cues are going over your head
14:25 (4) You’re not being specific enough
15:57 (5) Your bad habits are too attractive
21:23 (6) Your bad habits are too easy
23:59 (7) Your values aren’t leading your behaviours
30:43 Summary & outro rizz
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 we back
0:33 (1) Drastically reduce the decisions you have to make if you want more energy
3:08 (2) Frustration is part of the learning process
5:38 (3) You rarely know what you want
9:23 (4) Don’t deny the reality of life by not saying goodbye
19:00 (5) Don’t say “people are judging me” say “people are looking at me intently”
21:32 (6) You probably don’t need to improve your social skills, you just need to regulate social anxiety better
24:29 (7) Disagreeing and spiritual aggression
28:13 (8) Manufactured experiences = tension. Just let everything happen
30:20 (9) No matter how you act it’ll always be better than perfection
32:05 Thank you & apples
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday to 7000+ people that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 2 women 1 psychiatric hospital…
1:08 Stimulus vs cause
1:43 Example (James & David)
2:46 Why is this important?
3:33 (1) What being “responsible for” someone sounds like
4:03 (2) What being “responsible to” someone sounds like
6:59 The 2 ways to be “responsible to” someone
8:49 Caveat…
11:05 The 3 stages of relationships
12:29 The 3 characteristics of non-responsibility taking speech
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Related videos:
youtube.com/watch?v=LZvfRcQO9nE&t=346s
youtube.com/watch?v=jHKJhImz_jA&t=515s
0:00 Hard things…
0:42 The bottom line…
1:10 (1) A depleted brain will always default to ease
12:54 (2) Reappraise the discomfort
14:55 (3) Win the evening
17:48 (4) Structure your day right
20:48 (5) Identity without evidence is just fragile consistency
23:06 (6) Never miss twice
23:45 (7) When intimidated, break it down to 5%
25:21 (8) Mesmerise yourself into ritual
26:55 (9) Never set a pace you can’t keep
27:29 (10) The effort is the reward (the discipline paradox)
29:07 (11) Self-negotiation prevents self-termination
31:08 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Marshall B. Rosenberg
0:26 (1) Observing vs evaluating
1:00 Examples
2:22 (2) Why are evaluations so harmful?
5:21 (3) The 7 ways evaluations are formed
8:02 (4) How to stop evaluating
10:54 (5) Observing yourself instead of evaluating
11:56 BONUS exercise
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Vans and pied pipers…
0:33 i been think’ bout u
1:00 What we’re going to cover…
1:29 (1) Let’s get clear on what depression/low mood is
1:57 (2) The vicious cycle of withdrawal (inactivity)
5:09 (3) Why do we withdraw from life?
9:26 The 2 reasons you perform any behaviour (and why you withdraw)
14:25 (4) BA (the therapeutic approach you need)
15:48 (5) The 6 ways to get back on track
37:18 Caveat 1 (functional equivalence)
41:29 Caveat 2 (social support)
42:02 Summary & outro rizz
Lucy's work:
psyche.co/guides/how-to-engage-with-life-when-you-feel-down
lucyfoulkes.com
PDF:
getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/ActivityDiary.pdf
Check out this full guide we did on depression:
youtube.com/watch?v=Wrz5gp5Y7ts&t=1416s
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Videos mentioned:
youtube.com/watch?v=erQVf1aD5B0&t=17s
youtube.com/watch?v=i6-5CWHeAsM&t=1885s
0:00 The 7 signs & 8 reasons...
2:10 What we'll cover...
3:20 (1) The 3 types of boundaries
9:25 The "what's on your plate?" exercise
13:02 (2) The 2 simple steps of setting a boundary
25:36 Healthy vs unhealthy ultimatums
30:04 The table exercise
33:40 (3) The 8 common responses from others when you set a boundary
44:59 (4) The guilt trip & how to deal with it
54:44 (5) How to deal with passive aggression & manipulation
59:10 (6) When should you cut off / rekindle a connection?
1:01:00 (7) Healthy self-boundaries
1:02:27 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter to 6753+ people every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Tip 1
2:33 Tip 2
5:14 Tip 3
7:50 Summary
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The friendship formula
2:26 Trying to be mysterious
3:35 (1) What to do with yourself when you go to this place
8:51 Live demonstration of foe vs friend signals
11:23 (2) What to say to people
15:49 Outro rizz
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The bottom line of this video
1:38 What we’re going to cover…
2:14 Opening quote from Socrates
2:48 (1) What actually is self care?
7:30 (2) What is self-compassion?
14:12 (3) Why self-criticism doesn’t work
25:33 The self compassion gym
27:08 (1) Analyse your current beliefs of self compassion
28:09 (2) What is your self talk like?
29:38 (3) Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a loving, caring friend
31:11 (4) Find your values
36:45 (5) Realise those who argue against self compassion still practice it
38:55 (6) Natural vs unnatural desires
41:07 (7) Cook for yourself
43:11 (8) Be in the right place (Topofilia)
46:40 (9) Befriend your inner critic
48:06 (10) Replace judgemental thoughts with factual ones
50:15 (11) You are not a computer
59:15 (12) Set “do” rather than “don’t do” goals
59:59 (13) Unfollow people who make you feel insecure
1:01:03 (14) Admit what you want
1:02:35 (15) Your presence has purpose
1:07:29 Outro rizz
References:
Mark Manson Values video:
youtu.be/uvXdMPNhp9M?si=4ZTVEXS9RceDXE0T
My values video:
youtu.be/iYPvgeYGDhg?si=Yp1fx9K4gBi3Swq_
All articles read for this video:
(Topofilia):
psyche.co/ideas/place-authenticity-is-an-important-overlooked-part-of-life
You’re not a computer:
psyche.co/ideas/youre-not-a-computer-youre-a-tiny-stone-in-a-beautiful-mosaic
Christina Chywl:
psyche.co/ideas/self-compassion-is-not-self-indulgence-heres-how-to-try-it
Cooking:
psyche.co/guides/how-to-use-kitchen-therapy-to-nourish-your-sense-of-self
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Welcome
2:07 Why do nothing?
3:43 (1) You're terrified of what you might find in the nothingness
7:09 (2) When everyone is sick, we no longer consider it a disease
19:45 [1] Constant busyness = no internal security/stillness
23:29 [2] You can only get used to yourself in the space of nothingness
27:05 [3] Doing nothing = restoration, not depletion
32:55 [4] Presence over productivity
35:27 Outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 your life expands or shrinks in proportion to your courage…
1:30 why principles?
2:08 our intention
2:29 2 definitions of courage
3:10 (1) In sterquiliniis invenitur
7:56 (2) Things are always scarier before they happen
9:58 (3) All growth is a leap in the dark
13:16 (4) Faith in yourself isn’t holding on to yourself but letting go
17:23 (5) “It feels scary because it’s unfamiliar, not because I’m incapable.”
20:19 (6) The fears you don’t face become your limits. So facing them = freedom
23:00 (7) Know your real edge and don’t fake it
32:29 (8) It’s either a good time or a good story
33:39 (9) Failure = the price you pay for growth
34:54 (10) Sometimes the fear doesn’t go away, so you’ll have to do it afraid
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Hello
0:52 What is desire?
3:03 (1) The Alan Watts principle
4:06 (2) Where you lack gratitude, you likely have a desire
6:28 (3) Going after what you want is risky, hence...
8:54 (4) The lessons you need are in the tasks you're avoiding
13:22 (5) You can want something you don't like and like something you don't want
22:19 (6) The contract with your unconscious
27:27 A final word of optimism...
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 ...
0:50 (1) Find them
9:38 (2) Accept that you see the world through a filter
12:30 (3) Slow down and articulate it
16:47 (4) Try a different filter
21:56 (5) Reject the double standards
24:36 (6) Accept you're not a rational robot
28:08 Summary & outro rizz
Rebecca Roache's work:
rebeccaroache.weebly.com
psyche.co/guides/how-philosophy-can-help-change-the-beliefs-that-hold-you-back
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Risky social skills advice...
1:23 A better alternative...
3:02 How to use your name
5:19 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 1 reason...
1:28 The bottom line...
2:11 Completion is an illusion
3:06 Completion vs maintenance
8:50 Ask yourself these questions...
10:32 Your mind will always desire completion
12:01 Outro rizz
drink up me 'hearties yo ho
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 That's just not how confidence works...
1:31 The 2 mantras of confidence
2:12 The secret way to fuel confidence without evidence 🤫
3:44 Remember these 3 things...
5:04 Stretch vs panic zones
7:26 An alternative to "get comfy being uncomfy"
8:30 Questions...
9:10 Outro rizz
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Sticky thoughts...
0:40 Why are self-defeating thoughts so sticky?
4:55 Why fighting them doesn't work
7:05 (1) Recognise when a thought is unworkable
8:45 (2) Connect to the present moment
10:07 How to distance yourself from your thoughts
12:26 (3) Make choices that align with your values
14:32 (4) Tune into the emotion behind the thought
16:41 Summary & outro rizz
Therapist who inspired this video:
contextualconsulting.co.uk/presenter/dr-joe-oliver
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Overwhelming...
0:43 Why social anxiety is overwhelming...
1:46 (1) The physiological sigh
3:08 (2) Set intentions
5:18 Why does setting intentions work?
7:37 (1) What's the story?
9:55 (2) Give them material
12:28 (3) Tell people you feel anxious
13:38 Summary & outro rizz
Samaritans
116 123
samaritans.org
Papyrus
Prevention of Young Suicide
0800 068 41 41
www.papyrus-uk.org
Maytree
A sanctuary for the suicidal
02072637070
maytree.org.uk
Calm
Campaign Against Living Miserably
0800 58 58 58
www.thecalmzone.net
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 You & I both know...
0:26 Surely natural selection got it wrong?
1:20 "It's you vs you."
2:50 Self-negotiation
5:35 The bigger picture...
6:46 (1) Going to the balcony
12:44 (2) Find your 'BATNA'
21:02 (3) Reframe your picture
21:48 (4) Respect them 'even if'
22:27 (5) Give and receive
23:37 Reversal
26:38 Final word of warning & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Know-it-all-profe
0:19 Charisma
1:04 (1) Verbs vs nouns (motivating others)
3:47 (2) I can't vs I don't (rules)
8:50 (3) Shoulds vs coulds (making decisions)
12:09 (4) You (capturing attention)
14:40 Summary & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Bad habits are useful...
1:20 The bigger picture
3:41 (1) Your brain didn't evolve to do your bad habits...
5:40 (2) The enemy of quitting bad habits...
10:09 (3) Curiosity vs judgement
13:19 (4) Understanding how human needs work
27:52 (5) The most practical question you can ask...
30:01 (6) The non-escaping life
32:40 Outro rizz
Raw vid.
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The 2 reasons.
0:29 (1) Unmet needs.
8:25 (2) Hatred vs love.
Title ideas:
why being more 'disciplined' won't solve your problems.
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 We can all agree...
0:25 The myth of overthinking
1:58 2 therapeutic approaches to deal with overthinking
3:22 (1) Get to know your trigger thoughts and let them be
6:45 (2) Recognise what you can and can't control
10:02 (3) Postpone and reduce your worries
13:09 (4) Avoid avoidance and train your attention
15:09 Exercise 1
21:39 Exercise 2
22:39 Summary & outro rizz
title ideas:
how to escape the overthinking cycle.
your overthinking ends now.
you overthink things because no one has taught you this...
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The situation
0:58 Some quick examples
3:39 The promise & problems with modern psychiatry
5:55 What we’ll cover
6:54 (1) What are emotions?
11:12 (2) For your genes, not you
19:40 (3) Emotions & goals
33:07 (4) How negative emotions can be useful
44:40 (5) Depression & low mood
1:01:26 (6) 6 ways to deal with your emotions
1:11:03 Summary & outro rizz…
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Studies mentioned:
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18665693
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20876385
0:00 We’ve all been there…
0:54 (1) Why you vent
2:00 (2) Why venting makes you feel worse
7:05 (3) How to actually help someone who’s venting
18:23 (4) Bonus tips + what to do when you vent
20:15 Outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Deep down…
0:16 (1) Uncertainty
3:17 (2) Productivity
6:58 (3) Insecurity
8:53 (4) Exposure
10:02 (5) Pleasure
11:38 (6) Problems
12:52 Final word + outro rizz
Get the full video notes for free here 📝:
newelofknowledge.com/letters/video-notes-create-a-brand-new-you-in-87-minutes
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Listen to this on spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/4rQDcdqPy6cDEikSrXkHjE?si=338b9755163a4c6d
0:00 I was fed up too…
0:40 The loop of sameness
2:24 The 2 attitudes
4:00 The garden analogy of behaviour change
14:09 (1) The enemy & the hero (diagnosing the problem)
25:21 (2) How your thought-feeling loops manifest
49:50 (3) Coherence (the ideal state)
55:25 (4) Enact change
1:26:57 Final quote & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Logical consequences...
0:28 Delivery
1:19 Why does this matter?
3:56 The origins of the "logical consequences" technique
4:33 3 ways to not change someone's behaviour
6:22 The framework & a child example
7:58 Real world examples
10:06 Healthy vs unhealthy ultimatums
12:33 Final word of warning & outro rizz
Shoutouts to Lisa (top G).
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Your brain predicts (almost) everything you do
1:06 (1) Why your brain makes predictions
5:38 (2) What do you see in these 3 images?
8:20 (3) How your brain makes predictions
9:36 (4) The double arrow problem (Buddhism)
11:55 (5) Survival vs accuracy
13:19 (6) What happens when a prediction is wrong?
15:22 (7) How to update your brain’s predictions
21:29 BONUS point.
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Invite them to talk without asking a thing...
0:56 The 2 contexts
2:05 The enemy to good communication is denying the negative
3:17 4 ways to craft your label
8:55 A warning for crafting good labels...
12:43 (1) Applying labels to conflict resolution
16:28 (2) How to label to make someone's day
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
Nick's article:
psyche.co/guides/how-to-sleep-when-youre-a-perfectionist-and-high-achiever
Title ideas:
how to turn your mind off so you can actually fall asleep
overthinking keeping you awake? Do this...
overthinking keeping you awake before bed? Do this...
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Biology or philosophy?
0:57 Shyness vs social anxiety vs introversion
1:27 Preface...
2:20 How to overcome shyness
5:02 4 tips for starting conversations...
9:44 Destroy the pedestals
11:55 You're a buyer, not a seller
12:59 How exposed can you be?
14:14 Final tip & outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 Tears, anger, confusion & lack of connection...
0:24 Overview of NVC
2:36 The 3 horsemen of the bad communication apocalypse
4:49 (1) Observe without evaluating
11:29 Exercise 1: observation or evaluation?
15:00 The pipe analogy
15:59 (2) Identify & express feelings
20:04 Exercise 2: feeling or not?
23:10 How to express your feelings better
25:51 (3) Taking responsibility in your speech
27:07 How you become a people pleaser
29:30 The 3 stages of relationships
31:23 Exercise 3: responsibility taken or not?
34:23 The easiest way to adopt responsibility for your emotions
35:20 How to never take anything personally again
38:10 How to deal with negative messages
38:34 (4) Anger is a way of tricking yourself
41:22 (5) The 5 steps of solving conflict
44:05 (6) Connect feelings to needs
47:54 (7) Make specific requests
54:19 Exercise 4: specific & positive request or not?
57:33 (8) How to receive others empathically
01:07:32 (9) NVC with yourself
01:09:37 Outro rizz
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 23 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 What if I told you...
0:57 (1) Why self control doesn't work
5:50 (2) How to conquer any temptation (the temptation generation cycle)
16:35 (3) The more strategies you use the better (brute force vs strategy)
18:06 (4) Self-negotiation
25:22 (5) A word of warning for your mental health...
33:10 Outro & community update
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
0:00 The molecule that controls your life
1:53 (1) What is dopamine?
4:09 Further analogies of dopamine
8:14 (2) The dopamine scale
11:57 (3) Why you fall into a rut
14:35 (4) Dopamine hangovers
20:57 (5) Hard choices, easy life
23:34 (6) 8 protocols to leverage dopamine release for maximal flourishing
38:06 Summary & outro rizz
Title ideas:
the molecule that controls your life
everything you need to understand about dopamine
how to leverage your dopamine release for maximal flourishing
I never want us to revisit this topic again. So here's everything you need to know about it.
I send out a free newsletter every Thursday that'll improve your mental health & social skills. Join here (it takes 20 seconds): ⬇️🔥
newelofknowledge.com
Twitter: twitter.com/NewelOfKnow
Instagram: instagram.com/newelofknow/?hl=en-gb
-------------
Research:
Origins of the self esteem movement:
theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jun/03/quasi-religious-great-self-esteem-con
Toxic positivity:
psyche.co/ideas/what-makes-toxic-positivity-different-from-a-healthy-attitude
Videos watched:
youtube.com/watch?v=gC5hAAvhClE
youtube.com/watch?v=Aa8nJk00REs
Article on pride vs narcissism:
psyche.co/guides/how-to-feel-more-pride-in-your-hard-earned-achievements
-------------
0:00 "Just love yourself!"
0:52 (1) The fragile origins of the self esteem movement
2:41 (2) The issues with self esteem
10:09 (3) The problem with toxic positivity
15:35 (4) How self esteem actually works
24:31 (5) How to increase your self esteem
44:53 (6) Pride vs narcissism
55:03 Summary & outro rizz
Title ideas
self esteem is not what you think it is


