CoalitionForMarriage
The Church Must Take a Stand on Marriage - Revd Dr Joe Boot interview with Dr Tony Rucinski
updated
Dear marriage supporter,
Some have cautiously welcomed the Government’s new school RSHE guidance for England. However, Dr Julie Maxwell, paediatrician and C4M board member, reveals its sinister anti-marriage agenda that undermines the family from the outset. Please watch our brief conversation here:
Dr Maxwell is clear what the guidance leaves out: “there is absolutely nothing about the benefits of marriage at all in the guidance”. Completely ignoring the social good of marriage is a political choice, not a neutral one.
The new guidance equalises same-sex relationships with man-woman marriage, which is at the core of its anti-marriage agenda. This asks children to ignore biological reality, serious lifestyle consequences and population-level outcomes. It is a fundamental category error.
Parents do get some new leverage. The guidance requires real transparency. Paragraph 15(b) states: “All materials should be available to parents” (page 5).
The section “Openness with parents about RSHE materials” is explicit: paragraph 56 instructs schools to “ensure that parents are able to view all curriculum materials used to teach RSHE on request”; paragraph 57 says schools “should not agree to any contractual restrictions on showing parents any content that the school will use”; and paragraph 58 makes clear that any clauses preventing sharing with parents “are void and unenforceable” (pages 33–34).
We encourage parents to use these rights, so I’ve referenced them explicitly. Ask to see everything in writing.
The overall tone of the guidance matters too. Dr Maxwell says: “what is not there is any sort of positive teaching about being a man, being a woman, what masculinity, what femininity should be like”. That absence harms identity formation and weakens the case for family life.
Yet, the facts about marriage still speak for themselves. As Dr Maxwell says: “the greatest predictor of stability at home is marriage”. UK evidence bears this out. On average, cohabiting parents separate more often than married parents, with consequences for children.
C4M would recommend practical next steps for parents. Ask your school for their RSHE curriculum map. Ask for every slide, worksheet and video. Quote the precise paragraphs above. If a school runs overt Pride events or similar, use these complaint guides:
PRIMARY SCHOOL GUIDE c4m.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Primary-schools-political-impartiality-and-parental-rights.pdf
SECONDARY SCHOOL GUIDE c4m.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Secondary-schools-political-impartiality-and-parental-rights.pdf
At C4M our aim is plain. Champion the unique, child-centred good of one-man one-woman marriage, and press policymakers and schools to reflect it. Every child has a mother and a father, whatever their living arrangements. Policy should not pretend otherwise. This new guidance creates much more room for activist involvement, and flattens real marriage into just another option.
Parents must take a stand, and be more vigilant than ever. Expose the agenda in your school and use your rights. It is down to us. Use the guides linked in this document, pass them on, and get involved. We will yet restore real marriage to its rightful place.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button below.http://www.c4m.org.uk
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Dear marriage supporter,
As we learn that, for the first time, Oxford and Cambridge are out of The Times top three UK universities, I speak with Dr Timothy Edwards, Principal of Selden College in Oxford, about this new independent academic institution, built around truth, character, academic rigour – and real marriage. You can watch Dr Edwards tell me more here:
Dr Edwards begins by telling me why he feels there’s a need for such an institution. Education, he says, serves the common good: it is not merely job training but character formation, “so that the families, the church and the nation are blessed”.
Rigour is explicit and measurable throughout the learning process at Selden College. The three-year award is decided by finals rather than coursework. In his words, “nine three-hour exams in the last two weeks of your career and your degree is awarded on that principle”. That approach requires depth, focus and honesty – not merely use of AI, he says.
Entry is competitive and expectations are clear. Applicants sit a three-hour entrance exam and “sign up to a basic statement of faith and code of conduct which is Christian”. That clarity affirms real marriage as the foundation of family life and safeguards it in practice.
Life together is part of the design, with standards shaping the community outside the classroom too. The first cohort is small, with table fellowship and mentoring at close quarters. As Dr Edwards puts it, “my guess is they’re going to be at least once a week around my dinner table”, and around colleagues’ tables. Formation happens face to face.
His mood is hopeful – “What a great classroom to teach. What a great bunch of students to have.” The culture he is aiming for prizes fidelity, duty and service. It prepares men and women to marry, build a home and raise children. Clear truth-telling makes space to honour man-woman marriage and the children it welcomes.
Dr Edwards concludes by saying, Selden College teaches the liberal arts as a unified quest for truth in word, in things and in conduct. The aim is graduates ready to serve, to marry and to lead.
What a refreshing change from today’s usual higher education story.
At C4M our focus is to champion real marriage, defend the freedom to support it, and encourage the next generation to build stable marriages and homes. We do this by campaigning, and travelling the country running free family conferences and marriage refresher courses. If this encourages you, why not get in touch to organise something, and pass this message to friends and family.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Summarise
Dear marriage supporter,
Is Wales a foretaste of where the Church of England is heading? Bishop Stuart Bell joins me to discuss. Stuart has been in ministry for 54 years. He left the Church in Wales after its 2021 vote to allow blessings for same-sex couples. He now serves as a bishop in the Anglican Convocation in Europe (ACE) and pastors a lively congregation near Aberystwyth. Watch the full video here:
Why does Wales matter? In September 2021, the Church in Wales authorised services to bless same-sex civil marriages and partnerships. In July this year, it elected Bishop Cherry Vann as the UK’s first female archbishop. She is in a same-sex civil partnership. Meanwhile, the Church of England has commended “Prayers of Love and Faith” for same-sex couples and, in July 2024, backed stand-alone services in principle.
Stuart is crystal clear about marriage. He says that to make the claim that “doctrine hasn’t changed”, while simultaneously blessing same-sex unions is “duplicitous really”. He says the presenting issue is “the battle for the Bible”. The Biblical pattern of marriage, he says, is simple and good for people: public, exclusive, between a man and a woman, with intimacy following covenant. Therefore, as he puts it: “We don’t need to revisit it. We need to obey it.” He emphasises that marriage is “exclusively for one man and one woman for life”.
He describes what many in Wales now face. Clergy and lay people committed to historic teaching feel pulled in every direction. Some are leaving for orthodox Anglican settings. Others are being replaced by revisionists and we’re seeing congregations collapse.
Stuart goes on to say the effects of what’s happening reach far beyond Wales. He warns the Welsh move “has torn the fabric of the communion”. Responses from across the Anglican world echo that concern, including statements from Gafcon and the Church of Nigeria rejecting the Welsh election. Stuart says that “the focus of the world is on Wales, but not for a good reason”.
Yet collapse is not inevitable, he insists.
The Bible Society’s England and Wales figures show monthly attendance among 18-24s rising from 4% to 16% in six years, with notable growth in streams outside the Anglican Church. And fresh UK polling shows most Gen Z (people born from 1997-2012) still want to marry, with fewer than in the past calling marriage ‘irrelevant’.
C4M supporters come from all faiths and none. Our priority is to champion real marriage in public life, defend the freedom to say it, and help the next generation choose it. The Church, established and otherwise, must play a huge part in achieving this vision, by returning to the Biblical definition of marriage.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Dear marriage supporter,
Beginning 1st September, the Government extended its childcare scheme to 30 hours a week from the age of nine months for eligible working parents. The Prime Minister claimed he was “making family life easier”. In reality, it looks more like sacrificing parenthood on the altar of GDP.
I spoke to Anne Fennell of Mothers at Home Matter about this headlong rush into mass childcare. She makes the case starkly. The policy puts the labour market first and babies second. As she says: “The original motive is not about what is in the best interest of the child – it’s what is in the best interest of the labour market.” You can listen to our full discussion here:
Look at what is being sold. The Prime Minister’s letter boasts of “30 hours of government-funded childcare… from the end of parental leave to the start of primary school”, a “free… Breakfast Club… in every primary school”, and “saving an average working parent up to £7,500 per year”. That is not a saving. It is a tax-funded transfer that leaves families more dependent on the state and less free to parent.
Outcomes should matter more than headlines. A third of children still do not reach a “good level of development” at the end of the Reception year. School-readiness remains stuck or falling depending on the report. Kindred’s 2024 survey finds roughly one in three children are not school-ready and staff lose hours each day tackling basic issues. Pouring more babies into group care from nine months does not fix attachment or behaviour issues. It risks entrenching them.
Of course, some parents feel they have no choice but to use childcare because of the cost of housing and daily life. For them, provision can be a lifeline. But if the same level of support went directly to families, many would prefer to care at home or choose trusted, more loving arrangements, rather than being pushed towards state institutions.
The evidence on family structure is not fashionable but it is solid. UK studies find children born to married parents, on average, record stronger cognitive and socio-emotional scores. Stability counts – marriage delivers more of it. Policymakers must face this fact.
I’ve written a fuller critique of the conveyor-belt model and why GDP-first childcare corrodes family life. Alongside my interview with Erica Komisar, whose research on attachment highlights why the first years of life are so critical, these set out what a child-first, marriage-friendly settlement should look like.
At C4M the aim is to champion real marriage and to press for a reset that backs parents to raise their own children in the early years without penalty. That means tax and benefit reform that recognises the family as a unit, financial support that can be used at home, and freedom to choose care that supports real marriage, family and wellbeing, not just GDP figures.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Dear marriage supporter,
The fightback for real marriage continues. Monsignor Dr Michael Nazir-Ali joined me to explain why one man, one woman marriage must be placed back at the heart of our society. Formerly an Anglican bishop and now a Catholic Monsignor, he is a keynote speaker at a conference to renew the “Westminster Declaration” with marriage at its centre. Watch our brief discussion here:
Msgr Nazir-Ali says the culture needs solid foundations. “I personally don’t think you can separate values from the beliefs that give rise to them.” The declaration puts those beliefs on record and calls the nation back to what works.
On outcomes, he is direct: “It is good for the children and of course it is good for society.” Real marriage belongs at the heart of policy, education and community life. It should not be pushed aside.
Msgr Nazir-Ali also addresses this week’s headlines after the new Pope met Fr James Martin, a leading US LGBT campaigner. Dr Michael is clear: “Meeting somebody is not necessarily to endorse their view.” On doctrine, “there is no possibility of that changing”.
The gathering is in central London on 20 September and tickets are £10. There are breakout sessions on the key issues. I will be leading the marriage session, supported by Dr Julie Maxwell (C4M Board member). We would be glad to meet supporters in person.
At C4M the aim is clear. Wherever possible, children being raised by their own married mum and dad are celebrated and supported. There must be freedom to promote marriage as the lifelong, exclusive union of one man and one woman. The renewed declaration restates what marriage means and why it matters. It must remain central to our common life.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
I had a profoundly important discussion about toxic empathy with Dr Joe Rigney, theologian, pastor and author of The Sin of Empathy. His warnings about the misuse of empathy are urgent. His analysis has sharp relevance for marriage today. Do have a listen to our full discussion here:
Dr Rigney explains that empathy, when untethered from truth and goodness, becomes a tool of manipulation. He warns that churches, in a desire to please the progressive gaze, have muted biblical teaching on marriage and sexuality. They have instead adopted a compassion defined by liberal ideology rather than by scripture. The result is compromise, capitulation and decline. Some denominations that embraced such sentiment now fly the ‘Pride’ flag and solemnise same-sex unions. This is a vivid example of empathy leading directly to doctrinal collapse.
Rigney argues that the substitution of ‘sympathy’ with the etymologically recent ‘empathy’ has had destructive results. What passes for compassion often indulges destructive lifestyles, fuels tribalism and trades truth for falsehood. Real compassion, by contrast, seeks long-term good, even when that means saying hard truths. The danger is clear: empathy as defined by progressives has been used to usher LGBT ideology into churches, pushing aside conviction and undermining marriage.
He draws a sharp line between real compassion and destructive indulgence: “True compassion always reserves the right not to lie, not to blaspheme. So you can say, ‘I can follow you into the suffering, but I can’t follow you into the sin.’” For Rigney, courage is now critical. Cowardice is contagious, but so is courage. “All it takes is one person… to say out loud what many are thinking”, he stresses.
The implications for marriage could not be clearer. When empathy is elevated over conviction, man-woman marriage is marginalised. When courage and truth guide compassion, man-woman (real) marriage is protected, promoted and fruitful.
The Church should be leading the culture in upholding real marriage, not following the culture in undermining it.
At C4M, we continue to highlight voices willing to say the unsayable, standing firmly for marriage as the union of one man and one woman for life. I would be glad to visit your church or organisation to speak more on these issues, or to help run marriage refresher sessions. Please get in touch.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Dear marriage supporter,
With just a week of summer left, it’s a good moment to think about what truly lasts. Few things endure like a strong marriage, and Jim and Mary Russell – long-time C4M supporters from Northern Ireland – know that better than most. Married for 54 years, their story is full of advice for anyone thinking about marriage or working to strengthen it. You can listen to their wisdom here.
Jim and Mary met as teenagers, married at 20, and raised seven children together through the turbulence of the Troubles. Today, they have 12 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren. They describe marriage not as an easy ride but as a life-shaping commitment that demands perseverance. Our talk highlights how the determination to treat marriage as a lifelong promise gives couples the strength to endure the difficult times.
We hear how marriage rates among young people rise when friendship groups set the expectation. Mary explains, “When one couple decide to marry, even today, then a second couple decide to get married, it plants the idea in the others’ minds – that’s a nice thing to do.” We also note how younger generations are influenced by seeing marriage lived out in their homes, with friendship circles often following suit.
The exchange tackles tough truths. We discuss the fact that if you’ve had even one other sexual partner before you get married, the likelihood of divorce goes up 50%. Both Jim and Mary stress the importance of courtship, clear values and pre-marriage advice. Mary says, “Avoid resentment”, Jim adds “Never let the sun set on an argument”.
It is clear in the interview that marriage is not about perfection but perseverance. We reflect together that after decades of commitment a marriage can grow stronger, richer and more rewarding than ever before. Mary adds that the rewards lie in “the ordinary everyday joys” of shared life and family traditions. Their message to younger couples is simple: work at your marriage, build family rituals, and remember that difficulties are part of the journey, not the end of it.
At C4M, we champion real marriage because it gives children the best chance in life and provides men and women with a foundation of strength, joy and stability. Stories like Jim and Mary’s show why it matters so deeply that society recognises and promotes marriage.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Dear marriage supporter,
Why one man plus one woman, and why marriage? I discuss this with Glenn T Stanton, Director of Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family and author of Secure Daughters, Confident Sons. His book approaches the male and female question from a secular evidence base. He says that to disregard the differences between men and women is to “disregard a fundamental truth of our own universal humanity”. I think you will value this conversation on why one man and one woman matter for children and for society. Watch our full discussion here:
Glenn starts with first principles. It should be obvious, he says, that all human beings “came from a male and a female” and are themselves either male or female. He rejects claims of any additional genders – “It does not happen in nature.” The confusion we now see is, he argues, culturally manufactured. Moreover, our proper development needs to be shaped by the influence of both a mother and a father.
Glenn explains that “Mothers build security and safety and comfort”, while fathers invite calibrated risk and an outward focus. He describes how, for example, mums and dads communicate differently, expanding children’s vocabulary and understanding of the world. In his view, these differences matter because each parent brings something essential the other cannot fully replace.
He also draws on evidence from highly egalitarian countries that have levelled the playing field between men and women. When free to choose, women tend towards people-focused roles, men towards things-focused roles. This divergence actually increases, not decreases, under greater equality. It’s evidence, Glenn says, that sex-based preferences are deep-rooted, not imposed. He points to large-scale studies from Nordic nations that confirm this gender-equality paradox.
That’s why, Glenn concludes, fatherhood anchors boys and dignifies girls. A father’s love, he says, teaches daughters to value themselves and not settle for less. Sons learn respect for women from watching their fathers treat their mothers with honour. Put bluntly, the current gender experiment is “failing miserably.”
Statistically, marriage is by far the best way of ensuring each child has access to their own mum and dad while they grow up. Of course, sometimes, it isn’t possible for a child to be raised by both parents. But the case for real marriage – doing all we can to keep mothers and fathers together – has never been more urgent. Marriage delivers the best outcomes for children, adults and society. One man and one woman give children both the security of mother and the boldness of father.
At C4M we campaign for this truth in public policy and culture. We also travel the country delivering marriage refresher sessions and running family conferences to strengthen marriages. Get in touch to book me for your church or community group. And while you’re at it, why not share the video with a friend, and help us bring about a better outcome for the next generation.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Dear marriage supporter,
Emma Atkins works for Agapé UK offering practical tools for couples to build lasting relationships. Emma speaks powerfully about marriage as both a deeply personal bond and a public good, and she explains why she believes marriage is foundational to individual well-being and national flourishing. Watch our full conversation to learn more about what’s on offer:
Emma highlights the value of intentional investment in marriage. She says: “It’s not a passive experience.” She claims that “our natural bent is towards selfishness”, and notes that “we have to train ourselves daily” to have successful marriages. Through various options, Emma helps couples develop the habits and tools they need to grow together. All courses are available regardless of faith background.
One core resource is ‘A Day Together’, a seminar designed to give couples “carved out time away” from the demands of everyday life to talk honestly and privately. There’s no public sharing, no group work, no awkward moments – just space for spouses to connect and refocus. The day is run by married couples who speak openly from experience, often sharing moments of failure and recovery. It’s a model based on vulnerability and hope.
Alongside this, ‘Together’ is a nine-session small group resource exploring the biblical vision for marriage. It’s about deepening communication, understanding differences, handling emotions, and leaving a legacy. Emma agrees that your marriage must leave a legacy, but the question is: what kind? The course has been adapted for engaged couples too.
For those wanting something more flexible, Agapé UK also offers ‘Toucan Together’ – a free app designed to help couples build emotional closeness, strengthen trust and resolve conflict. Emma suggests that you can use it for your date nights, and it fits around everyday life.
While Emma stresses that these courses don’t offer professional counselling, she’s clear on what they are: a practical, relational approach to strengthening marriages from a Christian perspective.
At C4M, we know that strong nations are built on strong marriages. The lifelong, exclusive commitment of one man and one woman matters for people, families, and society. Whether you prefer Agapé’s courses or those offered by C4M (get in touch!), we urge everyone to invest in their marriage as the critical core of a flourishing culture.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
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Dear marriage supporter,
I wonder what you’re reading this summer – any CS Lewis perhaps? I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Dr Michael Ward, who NT Wright calls the “foremost living scholar on CS Lewis”. Our chat reveals some fascinating and lesser-known insights from Lewis about marriage and why it’s so foundational. Grab a cool drink, sit back, and watch our full conversation here.
Most of us know Lewis from his beloved Narnia stories, but his perspectives on marriage are deeply woven into many of his writings, particularly the Ransom Trilogy. Dr Ward highlights Lewis’s belief that marriage – or matrimony – is uniquely “ordered to the procreation of children”. This essential characteristic, Lewis argued, defines marriage exclusively as the union between a man and a woman.
Dr Ward also explores Lewis’s thoughtful reflections on gender roles. Lewis emphasised understanding one’s own identity in relation to the opposite sex. He saw true masculinity and femininity as recognising and respecting innate complementary differences, believing we only fully grasp who we are through our relationships with others.
Lewis expressed deep concern over society losing sight of the natural distinctions between men and women. Dr Ward shares Lewis’s stark warning: in neglecting these fundamental truths, we risk “abolishing ourselves”, undermining our very humanity.
Dr Ward also tackles common misconceptions about Lewis’s attitudes toward women. Far from being misogynistic, Lewis championed women’s equality, including advocating equal pay – however, this did not mean erasing the differences between the sexes. Lewis also profoundly valued motherhood, recognising its vital role in society.
For C4M supporters, Dr Ward’s insights into CS Lewis resonate strongly. We celebrate marriage as the essential and unique union of one man and one woman, foundational not only for families but as the stabilising bedrock of our society, now and into the future.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button on our website at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
As it’s summer here, let’s pop down under for an interview with Bob McCoskrie, founder and Chief Executive of Family First New Zealand. Bob is known for his bold defence of family and marriage, and I invite you to watch our full conversation online to catch his candid insights into the intense cultural battles surrounding marriage and family in today’s New Zealand.
Bob set up Family First nearly 20 years ago to challenge what he saw as an imbalance in New Zealand’s media by providing voices that are “unapologetically conservative”. His organisation isn’t shy about tackling tough topics head-on, including controversial sexuality education in schools, radical gender ideology, abortion, euthanasia, and the legalisation of same-sex marriage. Facing fierce opposition, Family First remains steadfast in its mission to uphold traditional marriage and protect children from harmful ideologies.
Marriage in New Zealand is under serious threat, Bob warns, pointing out the dramatic drop in marriage rates and its stark consequences: increased poverty, child abuse, and imprisonment. He doesn’t mince words, noting that as marriage rates decrease, families are formed without “the glue of marriage” and so “are likely to struggle”.
Even losing charitable status after a drawn-out battle that went all the way to New Zealand’s Supreme Court hasn’t fazed Bob. Far from being discouraged, he confidently asserts, “the shackles are off… our funding’s gone up, so all good”. Bob’s determination shines through in his relentless campaign for common sense – including the ongoing battle to have “woman” legally defined as “an adult human female”.
At C4M, we remain committed to promoting and defending real marriage – one man and one woman. Bob McCoskrie’s unwavering stance reminds us that courageously speaking this truth is catching on all round the globe, and it inspires and emboldens others.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
The Canadian authors Andrea Mrozek and Peter Jon Mitchell recently shared some valuable insights from their important new book, “I... Do? Why Marriage Still Matters”. Our conversation revealed why marriage remains crucial – not only for individuals but for the health of society as a whole. Watch the full interview online here:
Andrea and Peter Jon challenge the common cultural view that reduces marriage to a lavish romantic event. They argue the “marriage industrial complex” distracts from marriage’s real strengths: commitment, stability, and practical benefits for life.
We explored key concerns, including how the rising average age of first-time fathers is significantly contributing to declining fertility rates and increasing social inequality. They clearly show how seeing marriage as a “capstone” – achieved only after career or financial success – creates unnecessary obstacles. Marriage, they emphasise, should instead serve as a foundational cornerstone in our lives.
Andrea describes marriage not as a short-lived romantic comedy but as a meaningful adventure, comparable to a Tolkien epic, filled with lasting depth and significance. She stresses that marriage, with its real-life challenges and rewards, requires consistent effort. This is precisely why the authors advise that marriage counselling should be as routine and stigma-free as keeping your mechanic’s number handy – every marriage benefits from regular care and attention.
The book also offers insightful evidence of how marriage positively affects children. “Marriage remains the most stable family form,” the authors explain, noting that children from married families consistently achieve better educational, emotional, and social outcomes.
Andrea strongly believes that restoring marriage is primarily a cultural responsibility, one that all of us should actively embrace, rather than leaving it to political figures. Their book serves as both a practical guide on how we achieve this, and an urgent call to action.
At C4M, we’re dedicated to revitalising a culture that recognises and celebrates the immense personal and societal value of real marriage. That’s why we not only campaign for policy change, but we also offer free pre-marriage and marriage refresher courses to churches and other organisations. Get in touch to learn more.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Katy Faust, founder of Them Before Us, an organisation dedicated to placing children's rights ahead of adult desires, recently joined me for an important discussion. Katy explored crucial aspects of marriage and parenting in our conversation, now available online in full here.
Katy addresses the tenth anniversary of the US Supreme Court's Obergefell decision, highlighting how the ruling, which legalised same-sex marriage, “overrode the explicit will of the people in more than half of the states”. She argues: “Marriage is a matter of justice for children because it is the only relationship that unites the two people to whom children have a natural right.” Katy further emphasises: “if you make husbands and wives optional in marriage, you’re going to make mothers and fathers optional in parenthood”. This leads to harmful outcomes such as removing fathers and mothers from birth certificates and promoting ‘intent-based’ parenthood.
Katy asserts the uniqueness of the union between a man and a woman, emphasising exclusivity, complementarity, and permanence. “The child's own biological mother and father are statistically the safest, most connected to, most invested in, and most protective of the child”, she notes. The breakdown of these elements directly harms children, increasing risks of neglect and abuse.
At C4M, the commitment remains clear: to champion real marriage as foundational for both the wellbeing of children and the health of society. Watch my full conversation with Katy Faust online and discover more about how defending man-woman marriage serves justice for children and strengthens our collective future. To learn more about Katy’s campaign to address the consequences of the Obergefell decision, visit endobergefell.com.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Mathematics teacher Kevin Lister says he was dismissed from New College Swindon for standing firmly by his conviction that biological sex is immutable. He joins me to discuss his ongoing efforts to clear his name and to hold accountable those he believes are guilty of the safeguarding violations he himself was accused of. Kevin’s courage, positivity, and determination to stand for the truth about the immutability of sex should inspire anyone committed to defending real marriage. Watch the full interview here.
Kevin explains how the issue began when he refused to socially transition a 16-year-old female student without parental consent or appropriate safeguarding reassurances. “I immediately raised a safeguarding concern,” Kevin states. Yet, shockingly, he reports the college informed him it was “policy not to tell the parents” about significant decisions involving minors.
Despite intense pressure to affirm gender ideology, Kevin remained steadfast, plainly telling the student, “Of course you can [enter the girls’ maths competition] ’cos you’re a girl.” His principled stance led to a formal complaint, an internal investigation, and ultimately his dismissal – which he says the college justified by accusing him of holding “right-wing views”.
Refusing to accept this quietly, Kevin represented himself at an employment tribunal due to financial constraints. Although initially unsuccessful, he remains undeterred and is now vigorously pursuing an appeal with the support of a highly capable barrister financed through crowdfunding. Kevin highlights the broader significance of his case, explaining that the way the college handled the complaint against him “completely violates all safeguarding principles”.
Kevin emphasises the need for personal accountability, stating, “unless we can hold people personally accountable for the damages they have caused young people…this will not stop”. Despite the considerable personal and professional cost, he remains resolute, seeing his battle as fundamentally about protecting “the rights of teachers to have freedom to discuss issues and not to be forced into pursuing ideological premises”.
C4M will continue to highlight threats to the fundamental distinction between male and female – a distinction crucial to the definition and integrity of man-woman marriage. We stand alongside individuals like Kevin, who bravely fight to defend and restore the truths underpinning real marriage.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Former chaplain to Queen Elizabeth II and prominent commentator on faith and society Gavin Ashenden shares heartfelt insights into Pope Leo’s recent election and his reaffirmation of real marriage. In this engaging and thoughtful interview, Gavin clearly articulates why Pope Leo’s declaration – that marriage is “between a man and a woman” – resonates deeply, reaching beyond Roman Catholic circles to society as a whole. Watch the full interview to see why many believe this represents a genuinely hopeful moment for families everywhere.
In this candid and often personal discussion, Gavin openly expresses his profound relief and optimism following Pope Leo’s election. He describes Leo’s leadership as a crucial turning point for the Roman Catholic Church, amidst wider cultural and spiritual challenges. Gavin especially commends Pope Leo’s decisive appointment of a new leader to revitalise the John Paul II Institute for Marriage and Family, seeing this as a significant step in restoring its vital mission to champion traditional Christian family values.
Gavin also highlights the encouraging revival of traditional marriage in vibrant communities, particularly those embracing the traditional Latin Mass. He notes the enthusiasm of young families, deeply committed to their faith and the stability of large, flourishing households, as a powerful sign of renewed hope for the institution of marriage.
Reflecting passionately on the enduring significance of marriage, Gavin stresses its foundational role both biblically and socially.
At C4M, we warmly welcome Pope Leo’s clear reaffirmation of real marriage. While our supporters come from all faiths and none, we collectively recognise the immense societal value of world leaders who are willing to uphold the fundamental importance of lifelong, exclusive unions between one man and one woman.
If you’re not yet supporting C4M financially but would like to help, please click the donate button at
http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Robin Aitken, former BBC journalist and author of the acclaimed book The Noble Liar, shares his candid views on the BBC’s persistent and troubling promotion of transgenderism and liberal ideology. His comments follow the release of the BBC series ‘What It Feels Like for a Girl’, written by and portraying the life of male convicted robber, Paris Lees. Robin offers incisive insights into how the media, particularly the BBC, aggressively shapes public attitudes. You can watch our full discussion online.
Robin strongly criticises the BBC’s role in moulding societal views, stating emphatically that the broadcaster “has groomed the nation to accept certain things which once upon a time were not acceptable”. He gives a scathing review of ‘What It Feels Like for a Girl’, describing its portrayal of transgenderism, prostitution, drug use, and promiscuity as “squalid and sordid”. He highlights the programme’s dangerous presentation of deeply troubling behaviour as “value-free”, warning of irreversible treatments, profound psychological damage, and a severe undermining of traditional moral and family values.
He points to the sharp contradiction between the BBC’s agenda and the clear evidence that traditional marriage significantly improves personal happiness, child outcomes, and societal stability. We discuss how marital breakdown is bad for society and particularly bad for children, reinforcing the indisputable benefits associated with committed, one-man-one-woman marriages.
Robin concludes with cautious optimism, asserting that societal values can shift positively as younger generations increasingly reject empty liberal promises and seek genuine happiness through stable marriages and families. “People can be persuaded and shown that a return to those values is good for them, good for their children, good for their families, and… will make them happier.”
At C4M, our mission remains clear: championing the enduring and irreplaceable value of real marriage. Your continued support allows vital conversations like this one to shape a brighter, healthier future for our families and society.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
In this candid and timely discussion, I speak with the Reverend Dr Ian Paul, a long-time friend of C4M and respected member of the Church of England’s Archbishops’ Council. His influential blog is essential reading for anyone seriously engaged with the Church's current debates on marriage and doctrine. Ian reveals how some are taking advantage of the ongoing delay in appointing a new Archbishop of Canterbury to push forward the contentious Living in Love and Faith (LLF) agenda. I encourage you to watch the full interview online for his compelling insights.
Ian offers a precise analysis of the LLF process, highlighting its current “hiatus” which, he warns, is being used by some to quietly advance a problematic agenda behind the scenes, with further developments expected in early 2026. He is notably critical of a recent bishop-led video that seeks a broader interpretation of Church teachings. Ian states unequivocally: “Our task isn’t to create as broad a church as possible, our task is to form a faithful Church that follows the teaching of Jesus.”
Central to Ian’s argument is the essential need for doctrinal consistency. He firmly cautions that attempts to alter pastoral practices without officially revising doctrine lead only to confusion and discontent. Some bishops suggest clergy might disregard traditional teachings, but Ian pointedly asks, how do you “turn a blind eye to clergy entering same-sex marriages if the doctrine of the Church is that according to the teaching of Jesus marriage is a lifelong union between one man and one woman?”
Ian also addresses a concerning development – a private member’s motion set to be discussed at the July Synod, proposing to remove existing expectations regarding the private lives of clergy. He warns that such moves risk bypassing due process and undermining accountability, potentially setting a troubling precedent for the Church’s standards.
Additionally, Ian emphasises the need for decisive leadership. He states clearly: “We really could do with one or two more bishops standing up and saying enough’s enough.” He highlights that these ongoing debates distract from the Church’s core mission – “growing churches, planting churches, sharing the good news of Jesus.” Churches that are clearly presenting a positive, biblical vision of marriage particularly appeal to younger generations who are disillusioned with contemporary cultural confusion.
On selecting the next Archbishop of Canterbury, Ian passionately calls for a return to strong pastoral leadership, clear Gospel proclamation, and unwavering adherence to biblical teaching. “We just want an archbishop who believes the teaching of the Church and the teaching of Jesus,” he insists.
At C4M, we remain committed to promoting the truth and beauty of real marriage as the lifelong union between one man and one woman. Your commitment helps facilitate these critical conversations, reinforcing the foundation of healthy families and a thriving society.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
In the final part of this four-part series, Matt Loehr, President of Dare to Be Different marriage ministries, talks to me about a vital but often neglected topic: physical intimacy in marriage. Matt has counselled hundreds of married couples – many of whom haven’t had sex in 10 or 15 years. But he insists the solution isn’t to begin in the bedroom: “Pursue verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy, and you’ll find that physical intimacy falls into place.” In offering practical advice, Matt handles sensitive issues with care. Though he is a Christian, his insights apply to people of all faiths and none. You can watch the full video here:
Matt notes that during seasons of marital strain, “sex often pays the price”, sometimes giving way to pornography or affairs – “all of which is devastating”. He underlines the importance of physical connection as part of a broader emotional and relational bond.
Regular intimacy, he explains, is not a matter of duty, but of love and mutual care. It protects marriages from outside pressures and deepens trust. “Don’t be a selfish sexual partner”, Matt exhorts.
For Matt, the definition of real marriage is simple and non-negotiable: “One man, one woman for life.” He points to the consistent evidence showing that children do best in homes where this is lived out. He echoes the findings of 1930s Oxford anthropologist J.D. Unwin, who showed that cultures that flourish uphold pre-marital chastity and post-marital monogamy – and unravel when they abandon them.
The conversation closes with a stark warning about the destructive impact of pornography, especially on children. “It’s like drinking acid that will kill you”. Whether or not a spouse is aware, its effects include isolation, mistrust, and even physiological consequences. Recovery is definitely possible – but often requires time, accountability, and expert help.
At C4M, we are committed to defending and promoting real marriage - one man and one woman, for life. It remains the most stable, loving foundation for children, and a cornerstone of a healthy society. Thank you for standing with us as we continue to make the case nationally for real marriage – boldly, clearly, and positively.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
In the third of our insightful four-part series on strengthening marriage, Matt Loehr explores the profound importance of spiritual intimacy – or the intimacy of shared values – a vital yet often overlooked aspect of married life. You can watch the full conversation here.
Matt describes spiritual intimacy as akin to “welding two pieces of steel together that are unbreakable”, achieved through open and respectful discussions about your deepest beliefs and principles. Without cultivating this shared understanding, couples risk drifting into mere cohabitation rather than thriving as unified partners. Shared moral values, he stresses, provide direction, resilience, and clarity in an increasingly challenging world.
In this engaging discussion, Matt shares personal insights from his own marriage, illustrating how for him and his wife, regularly exploring their beliefs and values together has significantly deepened their bond. His simple, yet impactful weekly practice of a Bible study with his wife involves open dialogue about their personal values and how these shape their daily lives. As Matt puts it: “It creates unity. She feels valued. I’m listening.”
Importantly, Matt highlights the crucial role fathers play in establishing and reinforcing these shared values within families, noting that children are far more likely to carry these values into adulthood when actively encouraged by their fathers.
The conversation provides practical, reassuring guidance on overcoming stagnation or challenges in maintaining shared values. Matt encourages couples to approach building intimacy around values with patience, perseverance, and genuine commitment.
At C4M, we celebrate and support the profound strength that shared values contribute to marriages, families, and broader society. As real marriage continues to encounter various pressures, cultivating spiritual intimacy and a clear, shared vision within marriage has never been more critical. C4M remains committed to championing man-woman marriage, offering practical resources and meaningful support to couples devoted to lifelong unity.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
This week, Matt Loehr, President of Dare to Be Different Marriage Ministries, gives us the second in our four‑part series on building deeper intimacy in marriage. This episode focuses on emotional closeness, why it matters, and how to nurture it. Watch the full video here.
Matt explains that “around 85 per cent of divorce in America is initiated by women”, with emotional neglect or perceived abuse frequently cited. Emotional intimacy, he says, is achieved “when a woman feels understood”. Men often lack training in this area, so he offers simple, memorable tools: “shut mouth, hold wife” and, when words are necessary, ask: “What can I do for you now?”
Emotional investment also benefits physical and spiritual connection. In most marriages, Matt observes, “sex and physical intimacy is a result of verbal, emotional and spiritual intimacy”. He urges husbands to act as a “physician” in the home - asking daily, “How can I be a good physician to my wife today?” He adds the challenge, “Would she pick you today?” and underlines the importance of loving unconditionally, even when feelings run high.
Practical steps include being first to apologise, keeping voices low during disagreements and refusing the silent treatment. Visualising one’s shoulder as “a safe place” for a spouse’s head creates security. The aim is steady improvement: fewer rows, lower intensity, and deeper trust.
At C4M, the goal remains strong, lifelong, one‑man one‑woman marriage. Thank you for standing with those who champion it, and for taking these proven steps that keep love growing, for the good of families, communities and the nation.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Back by popular demand on the C4M YouTube channel is Matt Loehr, President of Dare to Be Different Marriage Ministries. In the first of a four-part interview series, Matt provides invaluable insights into improving our marriages, with particular attention to verbal communication. Please do watch the full discussion with your wife/husband here.
Matt has trained 80,000 marriage mentors in 15 countries. He highlights four crucial intimacy areas often lacking in marriages: verbal, emotional, spiritual, and physical. “Physical intimacy is often a result, an outcome, to the formula of the other three”, he explains, urging men particularly to invest effort in these essential connections.
One significant barrier to effective communication Matt identifies is the difference in how men and women communicate. He notes that “women on average use 25,000 words a day, men on average use 7,000”. This disparity can create tension and feelings of isolation within marriage. He advises husbands to actively “ask your wife her opinion often and just listen”, underlining the importance of validating and understanding each other.
He also warns against harmful communication habits, urging couples to “disagree sparingly”, avoiding unnecessary arguments over trivial matters. Matt suggests men regularly say, “It would mean a lot to me if you would…” – a phrase he finds significantly more effective and affirming than criticism.
Matt emphasises the importance of commitment and persistence, reflecting, “There’s a deeper quieter love to be found in the second half of your marriage… just get there, folks.” He encourages couples to invest regular time in meaningful conversation without distractions, ensuring a strong foundation for lasting intimacy.
At C4M, we know that strong marriages make strong nations. Promoting the value of happy man-woman marriages is central to our mission. Conversations like this with Matt offer practical guidance and inspiration to build and sustain thriving marriages. Look out for the next three in the series, and reply to this message to request a similar session run by C4M for couples in your local area.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Dr Jennifer Bauwens is Director of the Center for Family Studies at the Family Research Council, a leading US think-tank established by Dr James Dobson over 40 years ago. We got together to discuss the clear evidence her organisation produces, which highlights why one-man one-woman marriage remains foundational to society and children’s wellbeing. We also explore why policymakers seem reluctant to directly encourage fathers to remain actively involved in family life, despite overwhelming evidence supporting its benefits, and we discuss practical steps to address this reluctance. I encourage you to watch the full interview here.
Dr Bauwens highlights how strong families directly correlate to better mental health outcomes for children, notably emphasising the profound impact of early childhood trauma on family stability. Statistically it does matter, she says, emphasising the proven advantages for children raised by their biological mother and father in a stable marriage. The discussion addresses why society often hesitates to acknowledge this reality, partly due to an overemphasis on individual choices over proven truths.
She clearly outlines the consequences when traditional family structures weaken, noting significant increases in incarceration, relationship difficulties, and domestic violence. “These things really matter and how we define and maintain family has huge implications for every society”, Bauwens says.
The interview also explores Dr Bauwens’ research into gender ideology, highlighting how harmful practices have proliferated under the guise of personal freedom. She expresses optimism about recent shifts in the US, noting public resistance to extreme gender ideologies and emphasising, “We can actually call a man a man and a woman a woman now.”
Dr Bauwens advocates for a compassionate yet truthful approach to these discussions—rooted in compassion, but grounded firmly in honest, evidence-based facts rather than individual feelings. She highlights the importance of actively elevating examples of good marriages, urging people to confidently uphold marriage as the healthiest environment for raising children. She stresses the importance of courage in standing against harmful cultural trends: “We want people to feel confident…and know that they have not only theologically or philosophically the right argument but that they also have the science behind them as well.”
At C4M, we are committed to promoting and defending real marriage as essential for a healthy society. Your support enables C4M to amplify insightful voices like Dr Bauwens’ and advance our crucial advocacy for strong, stable families.
Please watch, share, and consider donating to support our essential work as one of the few remaining voices actively championing real marriage on the UK national stage.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
The Government appears determined to press ahead with a sweeping ban on so‑called ‘conversion therapy’ (The Guardian). Such a wide‑ranging measure should chill anyone who upholds lifelong, man‑woman marriage as the gold standard for family life. To understand why such a law harms free speech and, more importantly, the very people it claims to protect, I spoke with Andrew Rodriguez, a licensed professional counsellor from Pennsylvania who trains other counsellors in reintegrative trauma care. Watch the full interview here.
Far from safeguarding vulnerable people, a blanket ban would instead withhold the very help many actively seek.
Rodriguez explains how similar bans in parts of the United States silence legitimate therapy: “activists have wiped out the competition so that the only approach that's really approved is the state‑sponsored approach of affirmation only”. He notes the chilling effect on clients who simply wish to address unwanted feelings in line with their own goals.
He stresses that “good therapy … is helping people gain insight and healing”. Reintegrative therapy explores underlying trauma, anxiety or unmet needs; changes in attraction follow only if clients want them. This client‑led focus, he argues, is the very opposite of coercion.
Rodriguez rejects modern identity labels: “there is no such thing as a sexual orientation”. He says true sexual identity rests on biological sex, and that marriage — a lifelong, monogamous union of a man and a woman — best coheres with human biology and children’s welfare.
At C4M we champion the freedom to pursue real, evidence‑based help that honours man‑woman marriage. We call on ministers to rethink any Bill that would deny adults the therapeutic choices they freely desire.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
I recently sat down with David Quinn, founder of the Iona Institute and one of Ireland’s sharpest social commentators, to discuss the Iona Institute’s new paper Religion, Marriage and Fertility: Shall the Religious Inherit Ireland? David is clear: the future hinges on recovering confident, life‑affirming, one‑man one‑woman marriage. Watch the full interview here.
David reminds listeners that the marriage crisis runs deeper than numbers. Young adults, he says, are taught to “be as free as possible for as long as possible”, pushing marriage into the late‑30s and leaving many with “unplanned childlessness”. The result is an epidemic of loneliness and fragile family ties.
He challenges the popular claim that endless immigration can plug the gap: “The pool of people that you can attract is declining… Ultimately, high immigration is a Ponzi scheme”. Instead, stable families built on faithful marriage are the only sustainable answer.
David cites secular writers Louise Perry and Mary Harrington, who now argue for chastity, commitment and the protection of children. Such convergence signals fresh opportunities to re‑present marriage as society’s most progressive institution in the truest sense.
That’s why at C4M, we press the case for one‑man one‑woman marriage wherever opportunities arise – in conversations with MPs, across the media and through local grassroots action. Thank you for standing with us. Together, we will restore marriage as central to the UK’s future.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at: http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
During a recent trip to Washington DC, I had the pleasure of meeting Jeffrey Trimbath, President of the Maryland Family Institute, along with several other family organisation leaders. Following my conversation with Jeffrey, I knew our supporters would find great value in hearing about his experiences.
Maryland faces very similar challenges to those we encounter in the UK, particularly regarding governmental attitudes toward real marriage. Despite operating in a politically difficult environment, Jeffrey and his relatively new organisation have already made remarkable progress. You can watch our full conversation online here.
Jeffrey launched the Maryland Family Institute in November 2023 after extensive state-wide research into family structures and their impact on societal wellbeing. His research confirms that stable families, founded upon the marriage of a mother and father, consistently produce better outcomes for children. Jeffrey highlights this crucial point: “when we don’t form families the way God designed us to—with a mommy and a daddy who are married—bad things tend to happen.”
Impressively, having raised over one million dollars from a relatively small group of supporters, the Maryland Family Institute now actively drafts family-friendly legislation and closely monitors the actions of both elected and unelected officials. This proactive stance helps pro-family Maryland residents engage more effectively in the political process.
A particularly compelling insight from our conversation was Jeffrey’s emphasis on the critical role elite groups play in shaping public opinion and policy. He emphasises how essential it is to help influential leaders understand perspectives they might otherwise overlook. Jeffrey argues persuasively for proactive, calm, and regular engagement.
Jeffrey also points out an unsettling contradiction within Maryland’s political sphere, where certain leaders privately hold traditional values yet publicly support policies that undermine them. His organisation tirelessly works to address these contradictions by educating and mobilising citizens to take meaningful political action.
At C4M, we firmly believe that defending real marriage is fundamental to societal health and freedom. Jeffrey’s experience reminds us of the importance of consistently and calmly engaging with our MPs – even if initially, they may not fully agree with our perspectives. Your ongoing involvement, whether by staying informed, actively engaging your representatives, or inviting others to participate, can gradually and profoundly influence those in authority.
Never give in!
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
A powerful article by leading demographer Lyman Stone highlights that marriage is “by far the most important factor shaping fertility”. I caught up with Lyman, whose research points out that 75% of the fertility decline since 2007 is directly tied to falling marriage rates. Watch our full interview online here or a shorter 14 minute version here.
In our full conversation, Lyman stresses the urgency of understanding that marriage isn’t just about tradition – it’s the cornerstone of thriving societies. He makes it crystal clear: “Married people still have way more kids”, and marriage itself directly increases fertility. He emphasises that “the more years you spend in marriage, the more babies you have”, demonstrating why earlier marriages are crucial.
Our current replacement rate of 1.44 means the population shrinks by a third every generation, a drastic decline with profound implications. Immigration often comes up as a potential solution, but this is not a sustainable long-term fix. Lyman emphasises that real marriage remains the only viable and proven solution for societies to thrive long-term.
We also tackled common myths around overpopulation and climate change. Lyman argues convincingly that children drive future innovation, not environmental harm. He also debunks the idea that waiting to marry reduces the risk of divorce, pointing out that according to data, “delaying doesn’t make you more likely to stay together”.
Critically, Lyman identifies pressing issues facing young people, especially economic instability among young men and the crippling cost of housing. He insists on the urgent need to “help young men have less failure to launch”. Practical measures, such as removing marriage penalties from welfare systems, subsidising marriage directly, and creating family-friendly educational policies, are essential steps forward. From pastors to policymakers, it’s vital that everyone becomes aware of the urgent need to actively promote real marriage.
At C4M, we remain deeply committed to advocating for real marriage as the foundation for healthier families and flourishing societies. The evidence is clear – promoting marriage isn’t just beneficial; it’s absolutely vital to our existence. Please forward this email to others who might be uncertain about the importance of reversing declining birth rates by supporting real marriage.
If you would like to support us financially as we challenge this nonsense, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
A powerful article by leading demographer Lyman Stone highlights that marriage is “by far the most important factor shaping fertility”. I caught up with Lyman, whose research points out that 75% of the fertility decline since 2007 is directly tied to falling marriage rates. Watch our full interview online here or a shorter 14 minute version here.
In our full conversation, Lyman stresses the urgency of understanding that marriage isn’t just about tradition – it’s the cornerstone of thriving societies. He makes it crystal clear: “Married people still have way more kids”, and marriage itself directly increases fertility. He emphasises that “the more years you spend in marriage, the more babies you have”, demonstrating why earlier marriages are crucial.
Our current replacement rate of 1.44 means the population shrinks by a third every generation, a drastic decline with profound implications. Immigration often comes up as a potential solution, but this is not a sustainable long-term fix. Lyman emphasises that real marriage remains the only viable and proven solution for societies to thrive long-term.
We also tackled common myths around overpopulation and climate change. Lyman argues convincingly that children drive future innovation, not environmental harm. He also debunks the idea that waiting to marry reduces the risk of divorce, pointing out that according to data, “delaying doesn’t make you more likely to stay together”.
Critically, Lyman identifies pressing issues facing young people, especially economic instability among young men and the crippling cost of housing. He insists on the urgent need to “help young men have less failure to launch”. Practical measures, such as removing marriage penalties from welfare systems, subsidising marriage directly, and creating family-friendly educational policies, are essential steps forward. From pastors to policymakers, it’s vital that everyone becomes aware of the urgent need to actively promote real marriage.
At C4M, we remain deeply committed to advocating for real marriage as the foundation for healthier families and flourishing societies. The evidence is clear – promoting marriage isn’t just beneficial; it’s absolutely vital to our existence. Please forward this email to others who might be uncertain about the importance of reversing declining birth rates by supporting real marriage.
If you would like to support us financially as we challenge this nonsense, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
You can’t have missed the Prime Minister talking about a Netflix fictional drama, Adolescence, which he wants all secondary school children in the UK to watch. Joining me to examine the serious implications of this concerning policy is Professor David Paton, an industrial economist from the University of Nottingham – an actual expert rather than a fictional TV character.
Professor Paton is known for his rigorous analysis of Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) policies and their unintended consequences. Hear his concerning assessment of the PM’s actions in our 12-minute interview here.
Professor Paton strongly criticises the Government’s reliance on this fictional drama as a basis for educational policy, particularly given that Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer has repeatedly and incorrectly referred to it as a “documentary”. He underlines the clear inappropriateness of exposing pupils as young as eleven to a 15-rated drama depicting graphic violence and the normalisation of sexual activity among underage 13-year-olds. Alarmingly, even the psychologist character in the series does not challenge the portrayal of ‘normal’ sexual activity among minors, significantly undermining crucial discussions about the legal age of consent.
Prof. Paton also raises serious questions about the timing and intent behind this policy. He warns it may serve as a “Trojan Horse” to further agendas promoted by organisations like Tender, which push comprehensive sex education materials that consistently downplay or neglect traditional family structures and promote radical gender ideology.
He also referenced a recent Family Education Trust report, which estimates that nearly one-third of English secondary schools teach boys that their masculinity is inherently problematic or toxic. Such damaging narratives alienate boys further, potentially driving them towards negative online influences. Professor Paton emphasises that young men do indeed require positive role models – but society already possesses the most effective blueprint available: involved fathers.
Furthermore, Paton highlights the stark correlation between fatherlessness and negative outcomes for children – also covered in a recent article by Suzanne Moore. Shockingly, 76% of young men in prisons in England and Wales come from fatherless homes. Currently, one in four children in the UK grows up without a father present, with 85% of single-parent households headed by mothers. Clearly, the solution lies in strengthening stable, intact families, something best achieved through the institution of real marriage.
But the PM sidesteps this obvious solution with not a single reference.
At C4M, we passionately advocate for the vital role that real marriage plays in supporting strong, stable families. Simply hoping for more male role models in schools or sports won’t cut it. We urge the Government to actively implement policies that encourage father involvement and family cohesion – recognising marriage as the most robust, evidence-based approach to achieving these essential societal outcomes. We know it works, the PM knows it works. Why won’t he advocate for evidence-based reality instead of fictional drama?
If you would like to support us financially as we challenge this nonsense, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Ian Rowe is one of those gifted educators who has discovered how to genuinely transform the lives of the poorest communities through opportunity and aspiration. And, as you’ve probably guessed, his remarkable success is built around marriage and the values connected with it. You can watch our full discussion online here. Please share this important conversation widely with your friends and networks.
Ian, the founder of Vertex Academies in the Bronx, New York, provides compelling evidence grounded in robust data showing how stable marriages offer children the most reliable route out of poverty. Central to his approach is the “success sequence” – education, employment, marriage, and then parenthood – which has been proven to significantly lift young people from poverty into the middle class and beyond. Ian summarises simply: “The data is overwhelming”.
Crucially, Ian stresses that teaching traditional virtues and marriage values is not mere ideology, but a practical necessity for genuine social mobility. His academies intentionally embed virtues such as courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom into everyday school life. Ian describes how students daily affirm statements like, “I reject victimhood and boldly persevere even in times of uncertainty and struggle”, empowering them with a robust sense of personal agency.
Ian’s approach sharply contrasts with what I hear from the thousands of our supporters I meet up and down the country, many of whom are teachers and parents, who tell me schools are ready to teach just about anything – except marriage and related values. He highlights the hypocrisy of educational gatekeepers who discourage promoting these tested virtues, even though their own children benefit from precisely these values. Ian vividly recalls parents from disadvantaged backgrounds expressing their gratitude: “Thank God someone is teaching my children these things”.
Ian also highlights research showing the transformative effect that growing up in neighbourhoods with high concentrations of married, two-parent households has on children, irrespective of their personal family circumstances. The success factors Ian identifies – strong family structures, religious communities, and quality education –are not new; they have simply been neglected in favour of an ideology that fails our children.
At C4M, we believe it’s time to stop selling our children a lie. Our education system must once again champion the proven virtues that build a prosperous, stable society – founded on lifelong, monogamous man-woman marriage. It just works.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate at below.http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
I had the chance to catch up again with Ben Dybowski, whose experience highlights critical concerns around free speech and the freedom to articulate mainstream views on marriage. Ben, a former teaching assistant at Bishop of Llandaff Church in Wales High School, was removed from his position after stating, within a staff-only “safe space” training session, his belief that marriage is exclusively between one man and one woman. This interview follows Ben’s recent loss at an employment tribunal, which controversially ruled that the school had the right to regulate the expression of such views. Watch my full conversation with Ben, which exposes the extreme measures taxpayer-funded officials have taken to silence supporters of real marriage.
Ben describes how he was escorted off school premises and wrongly accused of safeguarding concerns solely for voicing his beliefs. Despite being fully cleared by the General Teaching Council, which found “no case to answer”, Ben’s dismissal was upheld at tribunal. Crucially, he reveals a disturbing attempt to further silence him, as the headteacher, who claimed to feel traumatised simply by Ben’s words, filed a violent action report against him without justification. Shockingly, Ben reveals there was also collusion with a member of the local authority who suggested reporting Ben to the Government’s anti-terrorism Prevent programme.
Ben emphasises that his views—“that true marriage is a union between a man and a woman”—are mainstream Christian convictions explicitly protected by law. The aggressive response to his simple expression of these beliefs raises significant questions about the state of free speech and tolerance today. He insists: “If someone stood up and said, ‘actually, I would have the same question’… the headmaster wouldn’t dare to sack three or four people.”
Ben’s case highlights a broader issue: how many others have faced similar injustices but felt too intimidated to speak out? And how many more are deterred from speaking altogether by observing how viciously others are treated by fragile bullies determined to silence any support for real marriage?
Ben has appealed the tribunal’s decision and is confident he will secure a legally binding precedent. Go for it, Ben!
At C4M, we believe protecting the freedom to uphold real marriage is essential for safeguarding broader civil liberties. We must resist the manipulative tactics of those who silence marriage supporters. Isn’t it time those responsible for wrongly ruining people’s careers face genuine repercussions themselves, instead of hiding behind a veil of corporate legal protection funded by taxpayers who are increasingly fed up with this nonsense?
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at .http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
I attended the recent ARC conference, where popular Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson expressed his and ARC’s opinion that the fundamental unit of civilised society is “long-term, stable, married, monogamous, heterosexual child-centred marriages”. Dr Peterson articulated similar thoughts in a recent Spectator interview where he says “the nuclear family – man, woman and child – is the minimal viable family”.
However, in this third part of my recent interview, with sociologist and author Gabriele Kuby, she makes clear that there is a significant contradiction in Peterson’s stance. While advocating strongly for traditional man-woman marriage, he simultaneously supports the concept of same-sex ‘marriage’ and surrogate parenting, fundamentally undermining his stated goals. Please listen to my brief but important interview with Kuby to find out more.
Kuby draws attention to Peterson’s contradictory stance regarding same-sex marriage and surrogacy. She specifically criticises his view that marriage can include same-sex unions. We discuss her open letter to Peterson published on LifeSiteNews. In it, she asserts that Peterson’s endorsement of same-sex parenting “betrays innocent children”. Kuby firmly argues that true marriage is exclusively between a man and a woman.
She further critiques Peterson’s claim that same-sex marriage is now embedded within the structure of marriage itself, calling this idea “just untrue”.
Peterson additionally overlooks the profound impact on broader society that results from removing gender and reproductive purpose from the concept of marriage. Such removal ultimately dismantles the essential meaning of marriage itself.
Genuine marriage, Kuby maintains, is indispensable as the fundamental unit for raising healthy, secure children.
At C4M, we recognise that preserving the authentic definition of marriage—one man and one woman—is critical to maintaining its essential role in nurturing stable families and healthy societies. Defending this truth is not only about safeguarding children’s rights but also about stemming societal decline and promoting genuine and lasting cultural renewal. Let’s hope the ARC gets fixed.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
The recently published School Readiness Survey reveals concerning findings: approximately 30% of children in the UK are entering school unable to perform basic tasks such as using the toilet, playing appropriately, or listening to a teacher. These troubling insights prompted me to speak with Erica Komisar, to better understand how her work on parenting and attachment might help address these critical issues. Erica is a psychoanalyst and author of the influential book “Being There”. I encourage you to watch the full interview online to fully appreciate her thoughtful analysis.
In “Being There,” Erica explores how crucial the physical and emotional presence of mothers is during the first three years of a child’s life. She explains that a child’s mental health and resilience are profoundly shaped by secure attachment, with evidence clearly indicating that “the children who were doing the best were the ones who, even if they had imperfect mothers, had mothers physically and emotionally as present as possible.” Erica underlines the reality that children’s fundamental emotional needs “don’t change because society shifted over a 75-year period.”
Erica directly addresses the economic pressures that often push mothers quickly back into work, arguing passionately for policies that allow parents to prioritise their children’s developmental needs. She highlights that in the UK, while significant sums are spent on institutional childcare, families themselves rarely receive similar financial support. Her suggested solution is simple yet powerful: “If you took the monies that you put into institutional care and you gave it to families”, then this would enable mothers to stay at home if they prefer.
She makes a powerful analogy, noting that breeders refuse to separate puppies from their mothers prematurely due to the harm caused, yet society readily places very young infants in institutional care. Furthermore, Erica boldly states that corporate structures typically fail to support women who wish to raise children: “Corporate structures are terrible for women wanting to raise children because it means basically you’re working for the man, and when you’re a mother you can't work for the man—you’ve got to work for yourself.” She controversially but compellingly suggests that women who want to have children should not work in big institutions, advocating instead for entrepreneurial or flexible roles to accommodate parenting.
Erica concludes by emphasising a profound truth: “For relationships to be healthy, they have to come first, not ego.”
At C4M we recognise the immense value of strengthening family bonds and protecting the foundational role marriage plays in raising resilient, emotionally healthy children. We must urgently return to recognising the unique value, contribution, and importance of mothers. Restoring real marriage is crucial for re-establishing healthy parenting and child wellbeing. Erica’s research powerfully highlights that reaffirming one-man, one-woman marriage is foundational for ensuring children grow into resilient, emotionally secure adults.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Yet again, a Christian school has fired a member of staff for expressing Christian beliefs about marriage—you couldn’t make it up!
Gozen Soydag, a dedicated mentor and pastoral leader, tells me about the ongoing challenges she faces for simply upholding the true definition of marriage. Dismissed from her role at a Catholic school for running an online ministry, ‘Wife in the Waiting’, which encourages women to prepare for marriage, Gozen’s case underlines the blatant hostility towards advocating for marriage between a man and a woman. Watch the full interview here.
Gozen’s journey into education began as a volunteer working with at-risk youth. Her commitment led her to a full-time pastoral role at a Catholic school, where she mentored students, safeguarded their wellbeing, and provided moral guidance. However, five months into the role, her personal social media account became a point of contention. A post Gozen shared discussing service within marriage, which posed the question “What are you willing to do to be the wife that you say you want to be?”, was flagged as inappropriate.
The school demanded she take down the post, but the issue escalated. Gozen was dismissed, with her beliefs labelled as “18th-century teaching” and deemed incompatible with the school’s ethos. Ironically, as she pointed out, “This is a Catholic school. Shouldn’t you be in line with a woman who knows her worth and value?” The decision to remove her came despite no evidence that she had imposed her views on students or acted outside the school’s stated values.
At tribunal, Gozen’s claim for wrongful dismissal was rejected. The judge ruled that students from different backgrounds could feel “devalued” by her views, a decision that exposes the growing double standard in public discourse. As Gozen highlights, it is acceptable in schools to discuss multiple sexual identities, but speaking positively about marriage is a ‘safeguarding risk’.
She is now in the process of appealing against this absurd ruling and is being supported throughout by the Christian Legal Centre.
Her case is not just about employment but about the suppression of truth. We discuss the fact that marriage is good for society. It leads to longer lives, better health, greater stability, and happier families. Yet those advocating these facts are increasingly silenced. Gozen warns that the reluctance to discuss stable, lifelong commitment leaves young people directionless. “We have the most amount of loneliness now today than we ever had in any generation before. And I believe, the stronger the nuclear family… the stronger our communities”.
You can see why C4M must remain committed to standing for marriage as the foundation of a thriving society. Gozen’s story is a reminder of the growing challenges, but also of the need for courage. If those who value real marriage do not speak, future generations may never hear the truth. Watch the full interview – and share it with those who need to hear it.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
I spoke to a man who influences marriage policy for upwards of 70 million people. Dominic Lombardi is Executive Director of Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth at the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. He has a deep concern for the future of marriage. In our conversation, we discussed the urgent need to restore a culture of lifelong commitment between men and women, the importance of male and female identity, and how rebuilding marriage is the only route to reviving society itself. You can watch the full conversation here.
Dominic highlights the deep connection between family structure and societal stability. He observes that “the disarray of young people is also connected to the disarray of family”, and stresses that fathers and mothers are “crucial and irreplaceable”. We note that fewer people are getting married, more children are born outside of marriage, and those who do marry tend to do so later, all contributing to a demographic crisis.
In response, the Catholic Church in the US is calling young people to embrace marriage and family as central to a hopeful future. Dominic refers to Pope Francis’s recent call to young people: “Make the commitment to get married and to have children because children are the most concrete manifestation of hope.” He acknowledges that waiting too long to marry and start a family can make it harder: “You probably are ready, frankly. The longer you wait, the harder it is”, he says.
Dominic also underlines the vital role of community in sustaining marriages and family life. “Families need one another”, he says, emphasising the importance of support networks in raising children and maintaining strong relationships. He sees marriage not as a risk but “the adventure of marriage”, a journey of faith and commitment.
We know that marriage is the core of our culture. When marriage is weak, society suffers. To revive our society, we must revive marriage. We must encourage young people around us to step forward and embrace this great commitment. Dominic’s remarks affirm the wider evidence: marriage is the best foundation for raising children, building stable societies, and ensuring long-term personal fulfilment. Yet, in the US as in the UK, marriage is in decline.
C4M’s mission to reaffirm its value is perhaps the most pressing cause of our age.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Dr Julie Maxwell, a paediatrician who works for Lovewise, joined me to discuss the alarming rise in young people identifying as transgender. We explored why this increase has been so rapid and why it overwhelmingly affects teenage girls. Dr Maxwell’s insights are invaluable — watch the full interview here.
Dr Maxwell highlights that referrals to gender identity clinics have surged in the past decade, particularly among teenage girls. She notes that, “If this were just due to increased acceptance of transgender identity”, we’d expect to see a rise across all age groups, but she says we don’t. Instead, she points to environmental and social influences, drawing parallels with past trends in teenage anorexia and self-harm.
We discuss a recent Telegraph article drawing attention to the sheer scale of this rise. It cites new research from the University of York that found gender dysphoria diagnoses among under-18s in England have increased fiftyfold since 2011. The article questions whether this surge is truly about increased acceptance or if young people are being misled by social influences. It highlights that over half of those diagnosed with gender dysphoria also suffer from anxiety, depression, or self-harm. Dr Maxwell observes that many who transition later regret it, recalling a recent statistic published by WPATH showing that “the rate of people transitioning to look the opposite sex and then wanting to return to their biological sex” was around 30%, despite insisting for several years prior to this that it was less than 1%.
Beyond transgender issues, our discussion touches on how a wider LGBT cultural shift is confusing children about sexuality and identity. Dr Maxwell warns that when schools fail to teach positively about marriage and biological reality, “media, their friends and social media is going to tell them something different”. She stresses that young people need support, not unquestioning affirmation, when struggling with identity.
For parents and teachers grappling with these issues, Dr Maxwell’s organisation, Lovewise, is hosting a free-to-attend conference on 22nd March in London, with online access also available.
At C4M, we know that a strong marriage culture provides clarity and stability for young people. The erosion of real marriage in public life has left children vulnerable to harmful ideologies. That’s why we continue to stand for marriage between one man and one woman, defending its importance for society.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Part two of my conversation with Gabriele Kuby takes a hard look at the damage inflicted on marriage and family by radical ideologies—and what can be done to turn the tide. Gabriele, an author and social commentator, does not mince words: “We don’t know anymore what we are as women or what we are as men. Thus, the destruction of families”. Her latest book, The Abandoned Generation, examines the long-term consequences of these cultural shifts. You can watch our full discussion here.
Gabriele highlights how the erosion of stable families is an intentional and direct result of radical social policies and ideologies. She warns that the state increasingly undermines motherhood, calling state-sponsored daycare “socialism 2.0”. In Germany, she explains, “Every woman has… a legal right to demand daycare”, forcing local communities to build facilities and pressuring mothers to place their children in institutional care. The result? Children suffering from chronic stress, lacking secure attachments, and growing up more susceptible to manipulation.
Marriage, Gabriele argues, is essential to the stability of individuals and society. She urges young couples to prioritise their vows, saying: “You have to make the decision—I will carry out my marriage, I will be faithful to my marriage partner, I will put my children first.” The so-called “freedom of choice” is a sham, she explains, when families are financially penalised for raising their own children while state institutions are fully funded.
She also speaks plainly about the impact of digital culture, including pornography and social media. “We cannot protect our children from pornography anymore”. She warns that exposure to damaging content is “brutalising” young people today. Gabriele calls for parents to reclaim their authority and create environments where children are raised in strong family settings, not by their peers or the internet.
On divorce, Gabriele does not just cite statistics—she speaks from personal experience. As a child of divorce and later a divorced mother herself, she describes the lasting scars: “For the children, it goes on and on and on… it is a never-ending story.” She challenges couples to resist the cultural narrative of self-fulfilment at all costs, insisting that real joy comes from commitment and sacrifice.
At C4M, we champion the truth that marriage between one man and one woman is not just a personal choice but the foundation of a flourishing society. Gabriele Kuby’s insights underline the urgent need to restore and protect marriage in the face of relentless attacks. We encourage you to watch the full interview and share it with others who care about the future of family life.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Gabriele Kuby is an internationally renowned German sociologist and author. In this first part of our three-part interview series, we focus on her influential book, The Global Sexual Revolution: Destruction of Freedom in the Name of Freedom. It addresses the cultural and societal upheaval surrounding marriage, family, and sexual ethics. Gabriele’s insights are as timely as they are compelling. Watch the full video to hear her powerful analysis and why she believes safeguarding marriage is key to protecting our future.
Gabriele uncovers how multinational organisations, governments, and educational frameworks are systematically and intentionally introducing policies that undermine traditional values, reduce population, trivialise sex and dismantle the family structure. As she claims, the family is attacked, identity is attacked, and anything that gives us a sense of ‘I am’ is being systematically destroyed. Her meticulous documentation highlights how these ideologies have infiltrated education systems, with children as young as four being exposed to explicit content under the guise of “sexual education”.
Gabriele also highlights the devastating consequences of these cultural shifts on children, warning that “if we ruin our young generation, we ruin our future. It’s as simple as that”. She points to strong evidence supporting the benefits of children growing up with their biological mum and dad, emphasising that traditional family structures consistently lead to better outcomes for children. Yet these facts are often ignored by policymakers due to ideological bias.
At C4M, we stand firm in promoting real marriage as the foundation of a healthy society. Gabriele’s work serves as both a wake-up call and a call to defend these values. We are the people we’ve been waiting for! If you’d like to take action, get in touch and I’ll happily visit your local Church or organisation to explore further.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
In the first of a two-part interview, I speak with Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis and the visionary behind the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter. Ken is a leading voice in exploring how biology, sociology, anthropology, and culture intersect to shape foundational truths about life and society. He joins us from the Creation Museum to discuss marriage, its origins, and why it remains vital today. You can watch part one of the video online here to hear more from Ken Ham in his own words:
Ken argues that marriage is not a mere cultural construct but a fundamental institution rooted in human history and essential for stable societies. He explains, “marriage… goes back to the creation of the first man and woman.” Citing the complementary nature of men and women, he notes that ‘becoming one flesh’ is intrinsic to the design of marriage and reflects its role in nurturing families and communities.
Ken emphasises the societal impact of weakening the concept of marriage. “If you want to destroy a culture, you destroy the family,” he says, pointing to trends like the rise of polyamory and the decline in commitment. He highlights that stable families—built on committed marriages—are “the backbone” of the nation and culture. Without this foundation, the social fabric begins to fray.
In tackling modern challenges, Ken addresses criticisms of monogamy and questions about premarital relationships. He observes that while history shows examples of polygamy, these situations often resulted in family breakdown and societal instability. Similarly, casual attitudes toward relationships fail to account for the emotional and societal costs involved. “Marriage is about one man and one woman for life,” he says. This model has consistently proven to foster healthier families and communities.
At C4M, we advocate for real marriage as the union of one man and one woman—a model that decades of evidence shows is essential for strong families, thriving children, and a stable society. Ken Ham’s insights reaffirm why defending marriage is so important. Look out for part two of this interview next Saturday.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
It was such an encouragement speaking with Matt Loehr, the founder of a 20-year ministry dedicated to strengthening marriages. Matt has developed a unique method of marriage mentoring, centred on couples helping other couples over a 12-week period. This approach, which has already trained an incredible 80,000 mentors across 15 countries, combines practical tools with biblical principles to transform relationships. To hear Matt’s inspiring insights and learn more about his work, watch the full interview on our YouTube channel here:
Matt’s journey began when he recognised the devastating impact of broken homes on children. Determined to make a difference, he left a thriving engineering career to create a mentoring system that addresses core issues in marriages. His method is distinct in several ways: “It’s couple helping couple,” ensuring both husband and wife feel represented. The programme also employs a visual guide, called “rounding the bases,” which provides a clear, step-by-step framework for addressing conflicts. As Matt puts it, “Once you learn how to do it, you can take on all issues.”
Key to the programme’s success is its focus on the heart. Matt explains, “Behind our behaviour is really a heart problem,” and his mentoring approach identifies and resolves these underlying issues. The method’s biblical foundation and emphasis on compromise and unity have brought about countless “miracles” in relationships.
The ministry offers two main services: marriage classes, suitable for broader groups, and more intensive one-on-one mentoring sessions. Couples begin with a detailed assessment, pinpointing areas of health and conflict. This personalised approach ensures the mentoring process addresses their specific struggles. “Your pain, your anguish, your conflict—that’s our agenda,” Matt explains.
Churches of any size can adopt this programme, training laypeople as mentors to support both their congregation and the wider community. Matt highlights the powerful outreach potential: “Many people are starting to come to churches because that’s where they’re getting help with their family issues.”
At C4M, we champion the transformative power of lifelong, one-man one-woman marriage. Stories like Matt’s underline why marriage matters so deeply. Watch the full interview to discover how his innovative approach is changing lives. Together, let’s continue to promote and protect real marriage.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at.http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
As we enter 2025, this final instalment in our three-part compilation series draws together voices who remind us that we have everything to play for when it comes to defending marriage and family. This episode highlights those who have taken a courageous stand for truth and the inspiration they offer us to do the same. Watch the full video here.
Tom Brand warns of the dangers of a proposed conversion practices ban, stating: “This… ban, if it does come into legislation, will be devastating on ministers, like me, who… preach the Christian doctrine of marriage”. Felix Ngole shares his experience of losing a job offer due to his views on marriage, highlighting: “The implications of this judgment… run very, very deep.”
Aaron Edwards reflects on being dismissed from his role as a theology lecturer for defending biblical marriage on social media. He explains: “If you want to focus on the positive, you have to defend it against the negative.” Dr Gavin Ashenden shares his journey of ideological compromise and repentance, noting: “The idea that you can reduce everything to our sexual appetites is so dehumanising.”
Robin Aitken critiques the BBC’s ideological bias, stating that it “creates the national reality”, shaping cultural narratives with its dominant worldview. Paul Sullins examines the timeless norms of marriage—exclusivity, permanence, and responsibility for offspring—and how they are being eroded by contemporary ideologies.
Shaunti Feldhahn offers hope with her research showing that over 80% of marriages are happy. “Most couples just enjoy being married,” she says, despite the persistent myth that ‘half of all marriages end in divorce’. Tim Carney highlights the cultural barriers to family formation, warning that a family-unfriendly culture and extreme individualism make marriage and parenthood harder to justify.
These inspiring voices remind us that defending man-woman marriage is not only possible but essential. As 2025 begins, let’s draw courage from their example and commit to standing boldly for marriage in our communities. Together, we will make a difference for the future of families and society.
Dr Tony Rucinski
http://www.c4m.org.uk
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
This is the second of three compilation videos showcasing insights from our many interviews throughout 2024. It features people who have refused to give in to attempts to silence views around real marriage. This episode captures individuals’ bold stand for man-woman marriage and freedom of conscience. Watch the full video here:
Ryan Clarke speaks about the growing pressure on schools to conform to LGBTQ+ ideology and the need for the Church to take a stand. He emphasises: “Silence for the Church cannot be an option anymore.” Ben Dybowski shares his experience of being dismissed from his role for expressing mainstream Christian beliefs around marriage, questioning the irony of such actions occurring in a “diversity and inclusion” setting.
Finnish MP Päivi Räsänen celebrates her legal victories defending her freedom of speech, but highlights the ongoing battle as her case progresses to the Supreme Court. She notes that many who disagree with her “defend my freedom of speech because it is important for everyone”.
Bernard Randall discusses how speaking positively about marriage can trigger accusations of harming children’s feelings. He warns that self-censorship can be more damaging than the consequences of standing by the truth: “Actively living by truth, even if you lose your job… at least you can look yourself in the mirror every day.”
Ann Widdecombe reflects on the courts’ recognition that belief in traditional marriage is “worthy of respect” and the importance of collective action, stating: “If enough people take a stand, then at the very least there is safety in numbers.”
Lizzie Harewood shares her experience of being excluded from a discussion on religious and cultural sensitivities in RSE, underlining the challenges faced by Christians advocating for traditional values. Ian Paul warns against compromises on marriage doctrine, citing the rapid decline of churches that have abandoned biblical teaching.
Libby Littlewood provides a personal account of her struggle with transgender ideology and how embracing her God-given identity brought clarity and empowerment. She asserts: “By being a female, I define femininity.”
Joe Boot challenges pastors to equip themselves with a biblical worldview and address cultural issues from a gospel perspective. He calls on the Church to recover its “prophetic voice” and to speak boldly.
At C4M, these courageous voices remind us that defending man-woman marriage is more than a social issue—it is integral to truth, freedom, and the wellbeing of society. As we close out the year, let’s be inspired to share their insights and stand firm for marriage in our own spheres of influence.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so using the button below.at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Individual Video links:
Dear marriage supporter,
This is the first of three compilation videos over the holiday period, featuring highlights from our many interviews throughout the year. The video draws together powerful excerpts from leading international authors and speakers. Their combined wisdom shows us the vital importance of man-woman marriage as the foundation of a healthy society. Watch the full compilation video here. NB links to the individual interviews are given below.
Nancy Pearcey reveals how the Industrial Revolution disrupted men’s traditional “caretaking ethos”, leading to a negative shift in perceptions of masculinity. She asks: “Can we reconnect men to their families, even in an industrial era?”. This theme of restoration resonates through the interviews.
Paul Dirks speaks of the family as a unit of resistance against cultural pressures that undermine its structure. Meanwhile, Revd Matthew Roberts insists that Christian teaching on sex and identity is “incredibly good news” and offers a richer understanding of humanity.
Louise Kirk shares her approach to relationships and sex education, emphasising that it should not do “great damage” to children. She highlights her book Sexuality Explained as a tool for parents to teach these sensitive topics with care and wisdom.
Dr Miriam Grossman warns about the ‘ambush’ of families by trans ideology, stressing the importance of affirming children’s emotions without affirming false beliefs. Katy Faust adds that surrogacy and the commodification of children prioritise adult desires over the rights and needs of children. She asserts: “It’s not about adult fulfilment… This must be evaluated through the best interests of the child.”
Mary Eberstadt highlights the consequences of the sexual revolution, saying: “Many people don’t understand anymore why people lived in families in the first place.” She calls for a renewal of marriage’s benefits across all social strata.
Prof Mark Regnerus explores how ‘cheap sex’ has devalued commitment and diminished the appeal of marriage. Dr Jennifer Roback Morse identifies “divorce ideology” and “gender ideology” as forces that undermine the family, stating: “everyone really, truly wants reliable love”.
At C4M, these voices remind us of the critical role of marriage in shaping a stable and flourishing society. By championing one-man, one-woman marriage, we protect not just the institution itself but the well-being of future generations. Be inspired by these thought leaders and consider sharing their wisdom with others.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so using the button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
individual video links:
Jan 13, 2024 Nancy Pearcey Part 1 of 2 - marriage and men
youtu.be/_C15Xa26j7E
Jan 20, 2024 The Future of Family: Insights from Nancy Pearcey
youtu.be/ZjmFQG8zAPU
Jan 27, 2024 Family as a unit of resistance – Paul Dirks
youtu.be/-Q3q5MLYZLs
Feb 10, 2024 Identity and the Worship of Self: Interview with Rev Matthew PW Roberts
youtu.be/cXMXGllgT8o
Feb 17, 2024 Alternative RSE materials that won't "do damage" - Louise Kirk
youtu.be/7N8-GjXhWhg
Apr 6, 2024Families are being "ambushed" by trans ideology - Dr Miriam Grossman
youtu.be/MhI8k_an-Gk
Apr 13, 2024Mothers and Fathers have become optional in parenthood / surrogacy - Katy Faust
youtu.be/N-gKv0TLyfU
May 25, 2024 Society is "forgetting elemental human truths" - Mary Eberstadt
youtu.be/XgtBSbk_fWU
Jul 6, 2024 How Marriage Survives our Cheap-Sex Culture - Prof Mark Regnerus
youtu.be/IqAieA-tEOs
Sep 7, 2024 Fix Society by Re-gendering Marriage - Dr Jennifer Roback Morse
youtu.be/9qsqvb_dvd4
Dear marriage supporter,
What can we do to make society more family friendly and encourage man-woman marriages? I discussed this question with the journalist and author of Family Unfriendly, Tim Carney, who has spent years exploring it. In our interview, he explains how cultural and economic shifts have made it harder to form strong families, and he outlines practical solutions. You can watch the full discussion here.
Tim highlights the cultural focus on individualism, which sidelines marriage and family. He notes that many young people view relationships as optional or secondary. “Once autonomy becomes this loadstar, this almost God, then marriage is hard to justify.” He stresses that promoting the value of marriage and family life is vital to reversing this trend.
Tim also addresses economic barriers – particularly the lack of affordable housing, childcare costs, and societal pressure to provide children with “the best of everything”. He calls for policies that prioritise families, such as affordable starter homes, and giving parents the freedom to choose how they spend any available State resources, such as childcare subsidies or tax credits. “Some will want to pay for childcare, and some will want to build a granny flat” – parents should be able to decide.
Cultural attitudes to gender roles are another key issue. Tim observes that healthy families rely on men embracing fatherhood, and communities valuing the sacrifices mothers make. “Families need men who are men”, he says, while emphasising the need to celebrate mothers who dedicate themselves to raising children, whether they work outside the home or not.
Tim also emphasises the broader impact of family decline on society as a whole. Strong families, he argues, foster greater community cohesion, reduce social isolation, and provide a stable environment for raising well-adjusted children. “When families thrive, neighbourhoods and communities thrive,” he says, underlining the connection between family wellbeing and societal health. Addressing the family crisis, therefore, is not just a private matter but an issue of public importance with far-reaching benefits.
At C4M, we argue for the unique benefits of man-woman marriage to be protected and promoted as the cornerstone of a thriving society. As Tim suggests, you and I are the best advocates for promoting the value and unique benefits of real marriage. I hope Tim’s ideas give you suggestions to mention when next contacting your MP.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button below at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
I recently had the joy of catching up with Shaunti Feldhahn, an author whose work has significantly changed how many people view marriage. Shaunti’s books, such as The Good News About Marriage and For Women Only, have helped couples everywhere see the true value of marriage and understand each other better. Watch our full conversation online to hear Shaunti’s insights firsthand:
Shaunti challenges the widely believed statistic that ‘half of all marriages end in divorce’, calling it a harmful myth. Her research, spanning over 20 years, shows that the actual divorce rate is closer to 25%, and even lower for couples who attend church regularly. According to Shaunti, “Most people just enjoy being married.” In fact, she says 71% of Americans are still married to their first spouse. The remaining 29% includes those whose partner has died.
Shaunti also highlights that marriage is not only resilient but often happy: over 80% of couples report they are happy in their marriage. We discuss the misconceptions about high divorce rates that discourage people from committing to marriage – it’s time for that narrative to change.
One key insight is that marriage brings happiness. Shaunti’s findings show that married people are among the happiest, something that both The Good News About Marriage and research by others like Brad Wilcox support. The interview further explores some of the simple but often overlooked factors that make marriages thrive, such as understanding each other’s insecurities and actively showing appreciation. Generally speaking, Shaunti says, women need to know they’re loved no matter what, while men want to feel they are worthy of respect.
Shaunti’s work is a compelling reminder that marriage is worth celebrating and defending.
At C4M, we believe in promoting the truth about real marriage. We invite you to watch the interview and share it with others (especially struggling couples), to encourage them. Together, let’s spread the positive – and truthful – message: real marriage really works.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Revd Dr Paul Sullins is a US-based researcher with a message he says is the most important thing people should be talking about. In our latest interview, Paul and I discuss the population-based scientific evidence that shows man-woman marriage is vital to society. His research (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8033487) highlights the serious consequences for families and children brought about by a departure from these natural norms. Watch the full interview here.
Paul presents a compelling case: he explains that marriage is fundamentally a natural institution, not something created by government or religious authorities, but intrinsic to human societies throughout history. Paul argues that the stability and future of society hinge on how we define and uphold marriage.
He says marriage has six key characteristics – one man and one woman, a public declaration of mutual consent, conjugal relations, exclusivity, permanence, and joint mutual responsibility for offspring. Paul focuses on the importance of these elements primarily in terms of the outcomes they produce for children and society. His argument is clear: only the union of a man and a woman consistently delivers the stable foundation children need to thrive.
Paul makes the case for a married mum and dad based on objective population data, highlighting the significant advantages for children raised by their biological parents. The data clearly shows that children raised in same-sex households are at a much higher risk of adverse mental health outcomes – more than five times higher than those raised by their married biological parents. Paul emphasises that the evidence is overwhelmingly consistent: natural marriage provides the best environment for children.
Despite mainstream claims, empirical evidence clearly supports that children thrive best when raised by their biological parents in a stable, committed marriage.
At C4M, we stand for the truth about marriage and its vital role in ensuring the well-being of children and society. So why do many schools, government and media, promote alternatives to what the evidence clearly shows is best: children growing up with their married mum and dad?
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Seth Eisenberg is President and CEO of the PAIRS Foundation, which has developed an artificial intelligence (AI) marriage support app, built to strengthen man-woman marriages. Seth shares the insights behind this pioneering guidance tool that aims to help couples build lasting relationships. Our full discussion is available online here.
Seth discusses the PAIRS Foundation’s roots, beginning with his mother’s efforts to discover “what could have made a difference”, after the breakdown of her own marriage. The resulting AI tool, called ‘Yodi’, offers free practical relationship skills. Seth explains that these focus on evidence-based healthy communication, conflict resolution, and emotional literacy techniques. These are areas that are often overlooked but fundamental to a successful marriage, he says.
Seth explains that many marriage breakdowns stem from a lack of skills, not desire. He states: “It’s not that people are inherently broken; we are facing epidemics of incompetence” in relationships. He adds that the app is built to help people find their own answers. Unlike traditional therapy, which he says sometimes accelerates divorce, Yodi focuses on helping individuals master practical skills for sustaining their marriages.
The interview also addresses the importance of giving marriages time and space during crises. Seth points out that “one of the most important things to help a couple going through a crisis is time itself”. He shares that the Yodi app acts as an AI-driven partner in practising these skills, even when a spouse may not be immediately available. This accessibility, he claims, makes learning about relationship maintenance both practical and flexible.
Seth encourages those interested to download Yodi, which has already reached 200,000 users in over 175 countries. He believes “anybody who is open to learning and growing... has enormous opportunities”, particularly when it comes to building a resilient marriage.
At C4M, our focus is always on promoting strong, lasting man-woman marriages. Seth’s insights offer practical tools that are readily accessible to those seeking to strengthen this most valuable of all relationships.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
In light of the recent US elections, where family and social issues were at the forefront, you may like to listen to my conversation with David Kurten. David is a former London Assembly Member and Leader of the Heritage Party, fielding 41 candidates in the 2024 UK General Election.
We discuss the unique value of marriage between one man and one woman. David, known for his socially conservative stance, is one of the few political leaders openly standing for traditional marriage. Watch the full conversation online to hear the challenges he faces and his vision for strengthening family values in the UK:
David emphasises that “marriage is a man and a woman”, and believes it must be championed as the best environment for raising children. He stresses that “no child should deliberately be brought up without its own mother and father”, criticising practices like surrogacy that disrupt this natural order. David also points out that the evidence in support of traditional family structures is clear—children do best when raised by both biological parents. He urges society to prioritise children’s needs over adult desires.
David also spoke about the hostility he has faced in the media for holding these views. He shared how he was vilified for defending traditional marriage, with some even attempting to silence him completely. Despite this, David remains determined, calling for more people to stand up for traditional values. He underlines the need for a broader societal change, stating, “All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”.
At C4M, our aim, while apolitical, is to support and amplify voices like David’s. Marriage brings unrivalled benefits to children, adults and wider society. This message must be heard.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
I had an encouraging conversation with Ciarán Kelly, the new Director of The Christian Institute, about the growing opportunities to champion real marriage today. Ciarán spoke about his late predecessor, Colin Hart, who was also Chair of C4M. He highlighted Colin’s work, the enduring value of marriage, and how we can continue to promote it effectively. I invite you to watch our full conversation here:
Ciarán is determined to continue championing “marriage between a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others for life”. We consider how the law is on the side of those who want to express their view that marriage should be between a man and a woman. While challenges exist, the law supports freedom of belief.
We discussed the evidence showing the many benefits of marriage, particularly for children and families. The financial disparities between married mothers and those who are not highlights the value of marriage. It contributes to stability, commitment, and wellbeing, offering benefits for everyone. Both secular and faith perspectives support marriage as a cornerstone of a thriving society.
Ciarán believes that younger generations could reclaim a higher view of marriage. “We’ve got a good message”, he says, “that marriage is between a man and a woman... it’s truth, and it’s a truth that’s worth standing up for”. He is optimistic that the benefits of marriage will resonate and inspire a renewed appreciation for its value. He also stresses the importance of living out good marriages to set a positive example for the next generation.
At C4M, we are committed to defending and promoting marriage as the lifelong exclusive union of one man and one woman. Alongside others like The Christian Institute, we’re championing real marriage in every corner of society. Together, we will make a lasting difference.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage
Dear marriage supporter,
Tonia Gooding and Father Mark Georges show that teaching values and virtue can have a huge impact on children from deprived backgrounds in Trinidad and Tobago. They spoke to me about their work promoting values-based education across schools in the Caribbean. Their organisation, ‘Communities Alive’, is implemented in over 100 schools, fostering character, virtues, and a healthy attitude towards marriage and family as building blocks of a thriving society. Watch the full interview online:
Tonia, president of ‘Communities Alive’, explains how virtues are “caught, not taught”. Using stories and personal reflection, young people develop a moral framework that forms the foundation for healthy relationships and a strong marriage. Father Mark adds that the programme nurtures character at a deeper spiritual level, aiming for fulfilled lives.
Their experience shows that teaching values and character can transform lives, even for children from unstable backgrounds. ‘Communities Alive’ breaks the cycle of deprivation through values-based education embraced by all religions. It focuses on chastity, responsibility, family, and social life—qualities that are increasingly missing in UK education today, but are essential for a strong society.
Both speakers stress the societal benefits of stable marriages and family structures, such as reduced crime and improved well-being. They believe that promoting marriage and family life is the best way to build a healthy culture. Children thrive when raised by their biological parents in a committed married relationship. Their work in Trinidad and Tobago shows that even amidst changing values, traditional marriage remains a powerful force for good.
At C4M, we believe that real marriage and strong families are vital for a healthy culture. Bringing values-based education to the UK can help build resilient families and strong marriages, creating an environment where children can truly thrive.
If you would like to support us financially, you can do so via the donate button at
http://www.c4m.org.uk
Dr Tony Rucinski
facebook.com/coalition4marriage


