Half in the Bag Episode 53: Star Trek Into Darkness RedLetterMedia 2024-10-19 | Half in the Bag Episode 53: Star Trek Into Darkness
We Watched Too Many Puppet Master Movies - re:View (part 2) RedLetterMedia 2024-10-13 | In Part 2 of this pointless series, Jay and Jack discuss Puppet Masters 4 and 5, Curse of the Puppet Master, and most importantly Retro Puppet Master (aka the one with Mark from The Room in it). Does the series have any redeeming value at this point? Watch and find out!!!
We Watched Too Many Puppet Master Movies - re:View (part 1) RedLetterMedia 2024-10-04 | Happy October, everyone! For the Halloween season this year, Jay had the brilliant idea of watching all the Puppet Master movies. It was a bad idea and nobody should ever do it. For this part, Jay and Jack discuss Puppet Masters 1 through 3 (aka the """""good""""" ones) and in part 2 of this re:View series, they will be watching Puppet Masters 4 through 7. And spoilers: by part 3 of this series, they give up on Puppet Master movies and just watch Demonic Toys instead. Booooooo!!!
Red Letter Media Investigates: The Villisca Ax Murder House RedLetterMedia 2024-09-28 | Halloween has come early this year! Today, in fact! That's right we were going to wait until October to release part two of our Villisca Ax Murder House investigation, but hey, it's Saturday! Krebs Gorlon is away on vacation so it's me Rich Evans typing this description because this video is serious business. In 1912, eight people (six of whom were children) were killed in this tiny house in Iowa by some kind of lunatic with an ax. The killer was never brought to justice so either their souls aren't at rest OR there is an evil entity in the house OR it is just an empty house. Here it is folks, our investigation video. Presented to you in all it's non-glory. As promised, nothing was faked and all "evidence" is presented in a rational and scientific fashion and we discuss as we go. Is there a little dramatic flair in editing? Sure. It can't be too boring, but we promise this is the most honest paranormal investigation video you'll ever see. In fact, we made this for non-clicks. Please DON'T like and subscribe. Enjoy!!!!!
What Are Next?! RedLetterMedia 2024-09-23 | Mike and Jay give a run-down of the new films and TV shows coming out over the next year and a half that you and your dumpster-diving grandmothers just might recognize. We're entering a time when the nightmares are now contagious viruses that spread from media to media and infect all our collective body cavities (anus). For example, for some reason that new emotional Ghostbusters trash was successful. People cried butterfly tears when they saw Venkman kiss Egon on the lips and rub his ghost trap and he ghost hugged his dumb daughter and told her he loved her even though she was clearly a lesbian and that secretly disappointed him even though he was a mute ghost. Well, that warranted a sequel of course. Then if that cash is flowing, green-light an animated series!!! Then green-light a live action series on Netflix or Prime or whatever. Might do a season or two. Who cares. People that work in the animation industry are starving and forced to deliver Amazon packages. 60% of them live on skid row or in tents outside of Dollar Generals. Nevertheless, studios are creating animated series based on any IP they can get their clawed hooves on and are using ghosts in Indonesia to animate them. Animated series about Twilight. Harry Potter. The Brady Bunch. Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Ronald McDonald and Friends. Punky Brewster. Se7en. Short Circuit The Harlem Globetrotters. Basic Instinct. Starship Troopers. Literally anything!!! They’d make an animated series about Twinkies if they could. Folks, we’ve gone beyond sequels and prequels and remakes. The nightmare is much worse. The virus is now mobile. It has left the theaters. It makes me wish Putin would invade the U.S. so I could spend my days in a foxhole waiting to get shot rather than reading stories about how there is going to be a Goonies reboot, live action series, and animated series all at once. Sometimes I just want to punch myself in the dick to feel something again. Too many shows. Too many streaming services. Too many monthly charges and most people have to work 3 jobs to make ends meet. Who has time to watch all this stuff? I mean, I do. I had an injury (anal-related) which forces me to sit in a wheel chair with a cut out hole in the seat for comfort. I can watch this garbage all day long. I supposed a lot of people who don’t work can watch streaming TV? The elderly. The disabled. But what does the everyday woman think when their zombie eyes sit down to watch a live action Pound Puppies™ series on Amazon Prime starring Jennifer Lopez and Jake Johnson as childless parents that adopt a CGI puppy. Or when a hard working man comes home from the construction site to put on the latest episode of the new live action Netflix He-Man™ Series that has a frustrating lack of homoeroticism. Or when their children forego homework to watch the new ALF™ animated series only to realize they are now dead inside. This content is like eating leftovers of leftovers. Three week old meats that we’ve cut the bad bits off of and hope we don't get emotionally ill. Eventually this will be the end of our civilization.
Red Letter Media Investigates: The Paranormal Investigation RedLetterMedia 2024-09-15 | Mike, Jay and Rich Evans talk about ghosts, hauntings, paranormal investigations, crazy people, ghost evidence, lies and other pointless topics in this two-part special Halloween season event video(s) that will conclude in a full on paranormal investigation of the famous Villisca Ax Murder House!!! What will they find with all the paranormal tools at their hands? Will Mike meet a ghost?Part two will be released around the start of October to kick off the spookiest month of the year other than January and July and August and May and November and April and June.
Half in the Bag: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice RedLetterMedia 2024-09-10 | Remember Beetlejuice? That very unique and original 1980s film that has spanned generations as a classic film with tons of memorable characters, performances, and iconography? Well...it's back. They did it again. They made another one with those same characters, same performances, and same iconography. Welcome to the underworld of modern movie IP-mining. Dig in!!! Everything old is up for grabs, just waiting to be recycled!
Best of the Worst: Donald Farmers Market RedLetterMedia 2024-09-02 | Just a reminder that we have a Patreon:patreon.com/redlettermediaIt's that time again! The time where we punish ourselves for no real reason and no real gain. Donald Farmer is one of our most hated filmmakers and his movies make us physically ill, so it only made sense to watch as many of them as possible in one sitting. What is our final conclusion on his filmography as a whole? The answers may shock you! Actually they won't. We sampled many Farmer films in this viewing but the main ones that are discussed are Scream Dream (1989), Vampire Cop (1990) and Debbie Does Demons (2023).
Half in the Bag: Strange Darling RedLetterMedia 2024-08-24 | Movies. What is they? A series of images accompanied by sound and music to tell a story. Who makes them? Artists? Clowns? Men and/or Women? Beef? A.I.s will soon make them and everything else and that's when the wars start. Save antibiotics and anti-radiation pills. Invest in canned food and shotguns. Build a fence around your property with barbed wire even though your elderly neighbors tell you it's an "eye sore". Tell them, "First A.I.s will make an episode of Spongebob Squarepants and next they'll be coming to harvest your organs for Chinese billionaire gangsters on the black market through the dark web". I found the site already. It's called www.crackerguts.com. On the site is a photo of my fat face with a caption that reads: We want everything but your liver. But I digress. Today Mike and Jar went BACK to the Monkeypox filled movie theaters to watch "Strange Darling", the new film starring Kyle Gallner (pronounced Gouwlinger) and others. Strange Darling is a weird, erotic, violent, indie-love story gone awry with the stench of mental illness and emotional manipulation. You could say it's the story of my childhood minus the broken shin bone that occurred in the back of a Pacer after we were hit by a drunk driver named "Ted Danson". Kyle Gallner and Willa Fitzgerald light the screen on fire with performances that'll make you sh*t your trousers with last night's beans. Intense, bold, and shocking with lots of twists and turns, Strange Darling will keep you guessing and entertained the whole time. Unless two fly over apes from Milwaukee spoiled it for you. They tried to spoil not much. As little as possible and there are warnings, so pay attention. Just go see the movie, then watch the FULL review for fun. I support indie films. I mean, I don't support Tubi indie films like "VelcoSharktoClown" and trash like that, but real indie films that take care and effort to try to make something good, well yeah we support that. Maybe all the people that worked on this movie are huge as*h*les. I have no idea, but when it comes to sitting my fat a** down on a theater seat stained with dried cheese, if the movie shows me something, anything new and interesting I'm all for it. Overall the movie gets an F-
Half in the Bag - Alien: Romulus RedLetterMedia 2024-08-17 | AliensFacehuggersGet away from her, you b*tch!The NostromoReebok shoesCGI deepfake dead actor deepfakesEvil android that's loyal to the companyblack gooMU/TH/ERWeyland YutaniThe EngineersPeople in Alien Queen wall cocoons but there's no Alien Queen to put them in the cocoons; it just happensProtagonist getting into underwear then having to get into space suitOpening hole in the ship to shoot the alien out of the shipEvery day is an endless nightmare
The Fly (1986) - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-08-15 | Colin and Jay finally get around to discussing David Cronenberg! Did you know that there is a direct link between Cronenberg's body horror masterpiece The Fly and the Police Academy franchise?? Because there is!!!!
Half in the Bag: Borderlands RedLetterMedia 2024-08-12 | Eli Roth made a boom boom. Mike and Jay talks about Borderlands. What a misfire! Odd casting choices. No one want to make. Adult professionals pretend to "care" about characters in video game they never hear of so they can make a check to pay for their yachts and shrimp. The behind the scenes interviews where these clowns pretend to care might be the most cringe rizz eva. Jayme Loins Curtis (daughter of Bill Curtis son of King Arthur of Legend) is so old even Michael Myers is too old to kill her. Even Activa won't eat her old gut rot. She pretends to love and care about her character, Rizzo McPizzo but don't give none sh*ts. Her net worth is 197 million dollars. Why she even work anymore? Just be grandma and let others have roles. Poor Cate Beckenblachett. Is it that hard to find good project? Tar 2: Back to the Tar Pits? You're much better than to play Ronald McDonald's sister. Kevin Hart like cash. We all know that. He sell out super bowl to tell jokes to audience of mongoloid farmers and city-folk who laugh at man on stage. He take role for cash and babbles about how he's learned so much and loved working with other actors, blah blah blah. Hart has over 500 million dollars in his bank now. Little girl who play Tiny Tim cry when she sees Rotten Tomato score. "Am I rotten?" she asks her mommy and daddy. Did I ruin the movie? No. EVERYONE ruin the movie. Especially Eli Roth. Craig Mazin said, "Take my name out you're f**king mouth!" before he slapped this film on live TV. Eli Roth left the set in a jet pack when the filming was done. The second he called action for the first time he realized it was a horrible mistake to cast numerous old ladies in the film who players of this game have never ever heard of. Should have made the cast of TikTok stars or YouTubers like the clown MrBeast. "What have I done?" he say! I ruined the legacy of this game no one has ever heard of! Whoopsie! Off to shoot Thanksgiving. Maybe making this film was a bad dream? Maybe they fix it in post. Doesn't appear to be so. This movie cost 110 million dollars to make. Sad to think that you could have made 110, one million dollar movies. So many interesting stories and ideas and Borderlands is a result of the old school Hollywood bloat and dinosaur thinking. You could have made 200 million dollars uploading a video to YouTube called "I tried all the fast foods and guess which one made me sh*t the most" so many people would have watched that. I'd watch that. End the madness. Art is dead.
Half in the Bag: Deadpool & Wolverine RedLetterMedia 2024-07-28 | Deadpool's back!Marvel's back!Disney's back!Wolverine's back!Everything old is new again, but it's also meta.
The Acolyte Season One - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-07-24 | What is a Star War™? The better question is what has it become? Ages ago it was a film made by a California hippie named Georgie who loved race cars and worried about an authoritarian future taking away his race cars. Now that he is old and lives in an authoritarian future that has taken away his race cars, he sold the evil empire he created to a different evil empire. The modest kid from Modesto just wanted to tell a tale of a farm boy who goes on an adventure with a space wizard to save a princess… and it ended up ruining his life and the lives of so many others. After Star War was a hit, he made Empire Strikes Back. It was so awesome because other people made it for him. Then he was so mad he crashed his golf cart into a lake. For the third film, he hired a former circus clown named Richard whom he could boss around and yell, “Add more midgets!” and thus the original trilogy was borned. Several years and pant sizes later, Georgie made the prequels. Fueled by ego and blue screens, G.L. made three films that were met with a luke-warm reception (pun intended). While the films made cash, G.L. wasn’t really and truly happy. He complained and complained to Oprah and Charlie Rose about white slavers and nightmares where Ewoks would pee in his salad. He eventually found a new love: washing his flannel shirts and producing terrible films. Several books and video games later, George was so bored he sold the Star War to Disney (a company known for their porno and children’s meat pies) and would regret this decision all the days till his grave. He could have chosen Universal, Warner Brothers, hell even Orion, A24 or Gravitas Ventures , but the only company big enough to shell out that kind of cash was Disney. After all, 4 billion is a lot to dig out of the couch cushions. Imagine though, the blue jeans and flannel shirt wearing man who claimed to be the indie rebel selling Star War to a smaller company like an A24? Or Dimension films, or something like that. Sell it for a discount to show how much he cares. He's got enough cash right? Or does he need 4B to finally producer his smaller films? Anyway, selling to a smaller production company of a quality nature, that’d be like winning the lottery for them. Make a good first film and rake in the cash. Restrict them and force out the quality. Force them to have a smart plan of what to do with a Star War. With Walt Disney’s company, they went the quantity over quality route. And filling the troughs of streaming content didn’t help. Forced to have a buffet of Star War content available to subscribers, no care or forethought was placed into a plan or a long term story or connectivity, etc. They certainly didn’t plan it all out like Marvel. They went at it like RDJ at a snowman made of cocaine. Thus a mess was created. Then KK emerged as the queen of Star War, pointing and yelling at the kids in the writers rooms. Make this. Make that! MAKE IT FAST YOU CLOWNS. Every day a new movie or cartoon was in production. The wheels began to spin faster than a cuckoo clock. The drool spilled as movies began to emerge from the anus of Disney at a diarrhea-like pace. An army with no general. A war without a goal. Like the everlasting gobstoppers being churned out of Wonka’s silly contraption, the Star War Disney products began to come out like old butt plugs from Andy Dick's insides. But who were they made for? Star Wars Man? Kids? My dead grandma? People waiting to board a plane at the airport? Some content was good. Most was bad. All the actors smiled and pretended to love a Star War. “I watched it as a kid and always dreamed of this shit” they’d say. Lies. They just glad to be working and cashing checks. Directors lie and say “This was my dream to make to Star War pie and play in a playground of my dreams. I’d rather make a Star War than a real movie with artistic nature” what a lie. They like the checks. The Disney/Star War gatherings where the crowds wave lightsabers around and clap like animals at a political rally further ensures the Disney dominance of power over this once beloved story. It’s more machine now, twisted and evil. What comes of the Acolyte? What is it? Is it a secret story about how the gays are harassed by the religious cops? Is it a story about sisters who go different ways and then decided they were both on the wrong path but can't decide what clothes to wear and to keep the same haircut their whole lives? When does someone save the galaxy? I just learned today that Billy Mays has died and the Sham-Wow guy was arrested. Do all of our heroes fail us eventually? Yes. Even rebels from Modesto become the Emperor someday.
Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #28 RedLetterMedia 2024-07-19 | Rich Evans™ and his "friends" Mike, Jay and Jack embark on an adventure like no other (except for 27 other adventures) discover the magic of the Wheel of the Worst! The wheel is spun thrice for these human mice. Experimenting with how much the human mind can endure by watching manure. These four brave men tempt fate by selecting three tapes, not knowing what horrors await... So listen up dummies, our building gets hot in the summer. Real hot. It's also freezing cold in the winter, but that's besides the point. It was a hot day. Stuffy and smelled like balls. Yet we managed to suffer for you the audience. These tapes were not the best, but something rather special happens at the end of this episode. Believe it if you will. Or don't we don't care. We witnessed a miracle before our very sweaty eyes. Rich Evans has a gift, damn it! But what was this feat of amazement performed by one Richard T. Evans? Don't skip to the end to find out you shitheads. Watch the whole thing as it needs to be set up properly. You'll never be more impressed with the ending to a YouTube video!Now, to speak on a topic unrelated to this vadio. Jay Bauman is running his own pseudo-medical practice on the dark web. He calls it a "consultation therapy business" he gets paid in Vlemmo and PayGal (dark web currencies) or gets paid in cypto called SatanCoin. Unaware crypto is no longer a thing, Bauman foolishly still accepts payment in this form for his "Services". What a clown! He's made hundreds of millions of dollars with nothing but a folding chable and a K-Mart photo background. He'll rub your skull and send good vibes from your neck down to your spine (or loins) I'm still unsure of what he's doing in that dungeon, but I plan to find out! I've enlisted the help of my grandma. She's 104, but she's down to help me investigate. I've set her up with an account on the dark web (GrandmaLuv48324) and she's emailed Dark Bauman. Bauman responded and said that he'll rub her skull till she Benjamin Buttons all over his tarp (whatever that means) Dark Bauman claims to have powers. He claims to know how to massage your skull bones to make you smarter, younger, more successful, or to enjoy Star Wars Acolyte. I doubt these powers of his, but I'm willing to risk my dear Nana's life on it. It he presses too hard on her old skull and kills her then I'll sue him and he'll be forced to pay me cash money via Vlemmo (Ha! A company I made so I also receive the commission fee!) this plan is perfect.
RLM Highlights: Milwaukee Tourism Ad RedLetterMedia 2024-07-18 | Since Milwaukee is in the news a lot right now for a political conference, we thought we'd post this wonderful highlight video from a few years ago when our amazing city was also almost home to a previous political conference. Go Milwaukee!Original upload date: March 11, 2019youtu.be/9pQNYeOEFJc?si=JPjhegRIhaMQnEBY
Half in the Bag: Longlegs and Arcadian RedLetterMedia 2024-07-14 | Heeeyyyyyy we saw Longlegs, which is either the scariest movie ever made or the most boringest thing anyone has ever seen. We also saw Arcadian, which is either a real movie or something that Mike and Jay collectively imagined. Both star Nicolas Cage!!!
Resurrecting the Salt Vampire RedLetterMedia 2024-07-04 | "What she needs to live is to eat lots of salt. But that’s who she is. It’s not really her fault.She'll appear to you as what you most desire. That's why they call her the Salt of Vampire."That's a poem by Darren Dingus. Hi, today we are talking about Salt Vampire. In these dark times of The Acolyte thirst posts and 4th of July fireworks hurting my ears, we bring to you a kind a simple video. A pointless video really. A video that won't get the views of someone yelling into a microphone about a Star War, but to us it's important. We recently became the new owners of a dusty old reel of film from the original Star Trek series as well as the mold that was used to make the infamous Salt Vampire mask from the TOS episode "The Man Trap". Two items from the private collection of model maker Greg Jein. You see, when we get props we like to do fun things with them. Most times that ends up in us damaging them. But this time we decided to do something productive: Use the Salt Vampire head mold to recreate the original mask (and costume) as best we could with our limited skills. I think someone may have also done this with the mold. But I assure you, this was done with more love and much less skill.
The Acolyte - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-06-26 | In this video, Mike tells Rich Evans to watch The Acolyte. Not because Mike and Rich love a Star Wars™.... I mean, perhaps somewhere deep down in their cold, dead hearts they still do? But Mike asks Rich to watch The Acolyte because Mike knows Rich is one of the most honest, unbiased people he's ever met. Rich will tell it like it is. He’ll never sugar-coat anything. Now, this video is less about The Acolyte and more about the culture war surrounding it. After Ghostbusters 2016, they felt we were all past this as human beings. A movie or show is good or bad based on the quality and nothing else. Mike saw the figurative streets set on fire after the “Lesbian Witch” episode and his curiosity was piqued. What is this? What’s all the fuss? Then there is the now famous "R2D2 is a lesbian" clip. NOW Mike is REALLY interested because he always considered R2D2 to be straight or maybe bi. All this madness stems from one thing tearing us all apart: Politics. Specifically identity politics. This show has become the figurative rope in a tug-of-war match between people that don’t want certain things in their Star War and people that do. Mike and Rich really don’t give two shits. They wanted to step back and look at this whole circus (note to editor: find more circus music) and comment on why it is happening now and what we all can do to prepare for the future (invest in canned foods and shotguns). We harbor no ill will towards anyone on the internet whose content we’ve referenced. From those that produce content complaining about The Acolyte and those that defend it. Everyone has a right to their ppinion and free speech on this topic and that includes us. We wanted to look at this whole situation, analyze it, discuss how we got here and possibly offer solutions. This world has become an unbearable nightmare and I want my ashes shot into a black hole. Part of me hopes that a huge solar flare from the sun reaches Earth and knocks out everything that runs on electricity. Then we can all then stop and listen to the sounds of nature. Get off social media for a while. See the beauty of this world we all share together... and then think about how outrageous it is that they called R2D2 a lesbian!!!!!!
Popeye - re:Visit RedLetterMedia 2024-06-22 | It's the moment you've all been waiting for! No we're not talking about some Star Wars thing or that other new thing with the guy from that show in it! It's Rich and Jay talking about the live action Popeye movie starring Robin Williams. For some reason. Toot toot.
Red Letter Media Animated - The Dependables RedLetterMedia 2024-06-20 | Hello friends! This was the original proof of concept thing we made when we were testing out the idea of doing our animated series, Spitballs. As explained in our intro, this is a really old idea Rich Evans and Mike would bounce back and forth going back 20+ years or more. We decided it would make for a good pilot episode. Obviously Mike is fond of the elderly, but what if the fate of the Earth was in the hands of the last dozen or so nonagenarians around. Enjoy this silly, unreleased video with artwork by Freddie Williams and the legend himself, Rich Evans! Mike did the editing and sound effects. Jay did essentially nothing cause he's scum.
The Death of Movie Theaters - Beyond the Black Void RedLetterMedia 2024-06-02 | Mike and Jay sit down to talk about what everyone is talking about this week after the flop of Furiosa and Garfield and others. Chase that algorithm, fatty!
Half in the Bag - Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga RedLetterMedia 2024-05-26 | Jay and Rich talk about the latest box office disappointment in a continuing year of box office disappointments: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. Watch the video now before the movie completely fades from the public consciousness because it's a floppppppp....
Half in the Bag: 2024 Mid-year Catch-up (part 2 of 2) RedLetterMedia 2024-05-22 | (00:00) The Iron Claw(04:55) The Phantom Menace re-release(06:15) Last Stop in Yuma County(09:57) Time Addicts(11:19) Kim's Video(15:55) Abigail(25:08) Love Lies Bleeding(31:46) Mike Forces Jay to Watch an Embarrassing Trailer
Half in the Bag: 2024 Mid-year Catch-up (part 1 of 2) RedLetterMedia 2024-05-17 | (00:00) Intro(06:42) Curb Your Enthusiasm and Unfrosted(11:11) Lousy Carter(16:09) Snack Shack(23:18) Imaginary and Night Swim(34:17) Chucky
Best of the Worst: Battle of the Genres RedLetterMedia 2024-05-05 | Florps Hoggenwarsch once said, “The day four men in their forties spend a lovely afternoon with each other participating in such infallible and wasteful follies instead of putting in a hard days work, well that’s the day I put a pistol in my mouth!” Florps Hoggenwarsch was one of the literary giants of his time (1802 – 1842) as well as a notable cultural critic and observationist. Florps did indeed put a pistol in his mouth whence-forth he discovered that four of his dearest friends spent a lovely afternoon in 1842 reading aloud and mocking amateur books and poems to the enjoyment of a small crowd of other failures. The crowd consisted of toothless town-folk, drunkards, ex-convicts, perverted men, and failed politicians (some crossover) along with some very smart animals. As Florps friends read passages aloud from the failed poets and aspiring novelists of the time, the crowd laughed loudly and chewed on raw potatoes. They threw cornhusks and flatulated freely. These four men (friends of Florps) were in their element though. Having failed miserably at most of life’s endeavors, they found solace (and success) at mocking the attempts of others. They brought much joy to those peasants while they chewed baked wormroot vegetables and picked at their teeth with fish bones. When Florps discovered what his four very dearest friends were doing he was aghast! For Florps, you see, was a highly respected author having published many works including “A Summer Dreary”, “Whistling Willows” and the highly acclaimed “When a Man loves a Small Boy”. Florps knew his career was in danger if HE was ever associated with such ghoulish events. He had two options, take out his pistol and end the lives of his four friends or turn that pistol on himself. He, of course, chose the latter. In the rear of the crowd he made his presence known. “Here Ye! Here Ye!” he shouted. “For I am Florps Hoggenwarsch! And in my last words I proclaim… ‘Those that can’t do! Make YouTube videos!” he then shot himself with his pistol. A silence fell over the crowd as his body fell to the Earth with a resounding thud. The event continued on without any further interruptions. After the show Florps body was placed on a horse cart filled with cornhusks, half-eated gabbygords, manure, and the discarded literature that the townsfolk laughed at. He was buried in a paupers grave. His friends went on to live happily ever after counting their gold coins in their respective castles.
Half in the Bag: Late Night with the Devil RedLetterMedia 2024-04-27 | Mike and Jay discuss the new found-footage-ish demonic movie Late Night with the Devil! But more importantly, they break a very important and rare VCR repair tool or something.
Best of the Worst Spotlight - Cade: The Tortured Crossing RedLetterMedia 2024-04-20 | It finally happened! The day that we received a package from Breen was the best day since the pandemic started. The slim package that arrived in our mailbox was like a little slice of heaven sent to us from above. A simple mailer that held the truth of which we sought. Cinema. Kino. Joy. I looked at the package, my brow sweating with anticipation. I pursed my lips as I often do in the delicious moments before sipping an ice cold beer. This was just as good. Maybe better. The mailer was that of a simple man. It wasn’t a fancy mailer. It wasn’t padded nor did it have a design on it. In fact, the mailer the DVD arrived in was a cut up cereal box held together with duct tape. I smiled and whispered to myself, “That’s the cup of a carpenter…”. It was here. We received the new Neil Breen film. Was this a Blu-ray? No. This was a DVD-R burned on a computer. I smelled the disc and the jewel case. It smelled like 2003. I cried at the beauty of the whole embarrassing ordeal. It was like a hug from an old friend who had long since passed. A friend you never wanted to see again or allow to hug you. In my hand I held the new Neil Breen film. I couldn’t wait to show the guys! I called Colin from Canada and told him to run to RLM HQ right quick to watch the film with us. He said, “oh, I’ve already seen it. It’s terrible.” And I called him a poutine-slurping, caesar-sipping canuck fuck and told him to get down here to Wisconsin right quick. He responded by saying, “I’ve got work and I’m watching my elderly neighbors diabetic cats and…” I just cut him off. I said, “Look you fucking prick, I have it. Let’s watch it!" So he did come down, albeit unwillingly. What are Neil Breen films? They are moopies made by a man who is the weirdest man to ever live. He’s the perfect oblivious filmmaker. Never getting better or evolving, only getting worse and more lazy and more old and more grandpa jeans. Neil Breen’s films are always about a loner man that has special skills or knowledge above all other humans. There is often a babe involved in his films, although the sexuality is awkwardly placed and seems forced. The women usually look incredibly uncomfortable at the notion of being in love or even attracted to Neil Breen. Likewise, any romance on his part seems obligatory. I guess the thought is that a movie needs “romance” so he must add “romance” But he’s no James Bond! Since this was Breen, we assumed this was worthy of a Best of the Worst™ Spotlight™ episode. It couldn’t simply be lumped into a regular three movie episode. Boy, were we fucking wrong. This pile of trash couldn’t have been more disappointing. Breen has gone too far this time with the green screens! Who does he think he is!?! Peter Jackson? George Lucas? James Cameron?!? I mean, sure you can use a green screen sometimes… if you’re making a fucking Avengers movie!!! But come on! Literally every background, outdoor location, and room is a stock image. A flat shot without movement. I can say that at the very least in some shots he created a foreground mask to make characters integrated into the frame by putting them behind objects, but really? While the story sucks, the acting is bad, it’s boring and shitty, it’s still a Neil Breen film and we have to love it as if it was our own cross-eyed inbred baby with no limbs. Anyways, while I have you here, I own a timeshare in the Cayman Islands. It’s in a nice part of town, but it’s basically a 1.6 million dollar shack. One of the owners killed himself recently and now I’m stuck with paying his part due to a legal snafu. I don’t quite understand it, but my lawyer Phillip Gorlon (no relation) tells me it’ll cost me more in legal fees to get out of this timeshare than to just keep it. I tells him that I’m strapped for cash at the moment, what with the cost of eggs, covid tests, etc… so my question to you is: Do you think Neil Breen might want to shoot his next film in the Cayman Islands? There’s lots of beach (of course) some very interesting shooting locations and a lovely Indian restaurant called Southern Spice that has agreed to do catering. I can lease my place for $42,000 a day and his next film can be called “Island Crossing: Cade’s Offshore Bank Account Scam” and it’ll be a rip-roaring island adventure film about a man who travels to the Cayman Islands to find his lost love, but discovers corruption and injustice and fights for the people with the help of the A.I. chip in his brain. Best thing is if Breen did a Kickstarter for…. Let’s say 1.6 million that could also cover what I’d charge in “insurance” for him to shoot in my Cayman Islands palatial estate. Just throwing that out there. I think the film would come out amazing and there’s be very little green screen. But there’s be lots of green for me if you know what I mean! Then I can finally dump this shitty timeshare property after stupid Rolando put a shotgun in his mouth. What a fucker. I mean, whose wife ISN’T having an affair in today’s economy! – Krebs Gorlon.
Predator 2 - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-04-13 | Colin is back to talk to Jay about Predator 2, sketchy movie theaters, and giant pants. Predator 2 was not well received when it was released and it flopped. That didn't stop 20th Century Fox from desperately trying to turn this thing into a franchise. Is Predator 2 all that bad? Jay and Colin's reaction may shock you! (or not)
Red Letter Media Animated -The Pong Horror Movie RedLetterMedia 2024-04-10 | Also known as Spitballs, in this episode the guys go off on a weird tangent after seeing a zoomer wearing a Pac-Man t-shirt. Instead of Super Mario Bros. or Sonic the Hedgehog, what if Hollywood cashed in on the video game movie revival trend with a feature film about the very first video game... PONG! HOW EXCITING WOULD THAT BE?!? WHAT AN AMAZING IP TO EXPLOIT WITH ENDLESS POTENTIAL! Special thanks to the brilliant WeeZacharyP for his inventive animation! Enjoy, friends!
Andor - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-03-29 | Does it happen? Why yes it done! Hello, and welcome to yet another internet™ YouTube™ video about Star War™. My name is Krebs Gorlon official spokesperson for Red Letter Media™. The clowns known as Rich Evans and Mike Stoklasan famously known for having zero association with P. Diddy (formerly Puff Man). Today Mike and Rich decide to finally make a minimal effort to catch up on the world of a Star War. A world they has decided to shrug off years ago after a clone of Emperor Palpatine was used as a desperate attempt to make cheap cash from a brain-dead audience of clowns and sh*theads. Mike and Rich both loathed Rogue One: A Star War Story. Ever more they loathed the love for its' bland characters like Gem Klebstone, Korla Blargbon, Phib McP-Diddy, and especially Cassian And/or. They saw Rogue One as a bad sign. A “remember this” orgy of pointless action scenes and a film awash in Star War c*m. Star Wars porn essentially. Not much to admire about the writing. A dumb man’s science fiction film. So when a series about Cassian Andor, a character destined to die after a Grand Moff Tarkin with a cartoon face laser blasts a planet, they had no interest. Thankfully, whoever is writing/producing/green-lighting the Star War have made a bold and smart course correction to appeal to people who have IQ’s above 8 (at least on this series). Mike and Rich both very much enjoyed Andor. They discuss the show and the inner workings of what makes a Star War work and what doesn’t. What should be done and what shouldn’t. Now, keep in mind Mike and Rich aren’t super up to date on a Star War. They’ll most certainly get some names wrong. Some places wrong. Shows, characters, settings, events, canon, history, places, people, names, dates, races, planets, movies, books, shows, actors, times, technology, witers, death stars, darth vaders, and star war, but begast you must know how they doesn’t do then on purpose. The house is on a hill, but alas it's not haunted. They try their best despite not caring one bit or nothing like that. They watch shows meant for others not wanting to know more about the Star War. These kind of material can be overwhelming for them as their brains and body are constantly fighting off deadly infection. It can also be incredibly dumb and debilitating. These characters with laser swords always fighting others. Always sad people selling junk or cutting up fish meat. Always a bad ship in space. Always a fighting. Why? But people love this crap. They dress up in the costumes like zombie. Say the names and remember things they know. Cry at the trailers. Cry at seeing a thing they remember on a screen. Fill up their drawers with junk when they see a Jedi or a Darth Something. They see a de-aged Anakin Skywanker and ask about why he ate a Jar Jar Binks for dinner when he became a Darth Vader? They LOVE it without question and Kennedy and Dave F. drool at their masses. The actors and creators go on stage and smile and drool for that sweet sweet cash. They want to say how much they love being a Jedi or a whatnot. They say they love the fans and that the Star War is a family or a community or whatever, but all these ghouls really love is the checks.
Half in the Bag: Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire RedLetterMedia 2024-03-23 | Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is the newest Ghostbusters movie. It's the sequel to the last Ghostbusters movie, which was a franchise reset from the Ghostbusters movie before that one. Do you...do you remember Ghostbusters? Mike, Jay, and Rich sit in an empty void to discuss this latest Sony product.Do you remember Ghostbusters?
Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #27 RedLetterMedia 2024-03-20 | A wise man once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Well, if that’s the case, judging by the length of this video these are four of the most witless clown-fools on the internet today. Mike, Jay, Jack and Rich Evans are perhaps the dumbest humans that have ever krebbed in my shorts. Hi I’m retired underground illegal casino pit boss Krebs Gorlon, and today I write to you from my home in war-torn Haiti to tell you about this newest episode of Best of the Worst. I'm farting as I type this due to the bacteria ravaging my colon, but I will try to make sense. Boy, it sure has been a long time since we’ve seen the boys watch three feature films, eh? But alas, today they are spinning the Wheel of the Worst™ again... There’s something about old, undiscovered tapes that makes my taint tingle with the titillating excitement of that first time I killed a man. Rich and Jack display a palpable level of non-excitement at this prospect in our video’s opening. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes these tapes can be a nightmare. Sometimes they can be a lot of fun though. It’s about as exciting as being forced to play a game of Russian Roulette with your precious time and sanity. Mike (the ugly fat one) appears to be the most unhinged of them all in this episode. You see Jay (the hippie clown) had haplessly purchased a case of “Hazy IPAs”. Silly little man that he is, he purchased solely on the style of the packaging. A lovely hazy as it is though. Voodoo Ranger’s Tropical Force. A product made by New Belgium brewing. Note: They are a NON-Sponsor. In fact, we’ll probably get sued showing what vile filth comes out of Mike’s mouth after drinking a dozen of these. So essentially what was cut from the video was Mike berating Jay on his foolish purchase. You see, the supply in the RLM booze fridge with thin at best. Jay bought beer cause he liked the green/yellow package design and was thrilled at the sight of a skeleton aviator on the can. What he didn’t check was the ABV, which is at a very healthy 9.5%. Mike’s been around the block a few times more than Jay so that’s the very first thing Mike checks. After our Half in the Bag “What are these super bottles?!” incident when Mike accidentally drank 9 beers that were 12%, he knows to check. ABV stands for alcohol by volume. It also stands for how soon Mike becomes a slurring monster who can’t say the word “apartment” and passes out into a bonfire suffering 2nd degree burns on his wang and dumplings – rendering all his man-parts useless. However, Mike faced a difficult choice: Deal with the unbearable state of sobriety or drink the beers that are 9.5% and hope for the best. He chose the latter. Krebs does not approve. The results will be apparent as the night goes on. In the end though, what we have here is another classic Wheel of the Worst. So settle in for the next 90 minutes with your favorite beverage and snack and prepare to laugh, cry, and soil yourself with laughter that will give you nightmares for the rest of your sad lives.
The Dark Backward - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-03-04 | Jay and Josh dive into the weird, disgusting, depressing, off-putting world of The Dark Backward, an under-seen dark comedy from 1991 directed by Adam Rifkin and inexplicably starring Judd Nelson and Bill Paxton.
Marilyn Manson or Bloodhound Gang Trivia Part 2 RedLetterMedia 2024-03-01 | It's time once again for a celebration in sleaze! Why it’s Marilyn Manson or Bloodhound Gang! Two influential 90’s bands with wildly different music styles. Mike, sadly, has encyclopedic knowledge of the inventive, funny and often dark lyrics of Brian Warner and James Franks (aka Marilyn Manson and Jimmy Pop) What should he do with this knowledge? Of course he's going to torture his friends Rich and Jay for sad clicks on YouTube. Well, actually if we wanted sad clicks on YouTube there’s plenty of other things we could do. This is just an afternoon of laughs had by three middle-aged gentlemen in a cold Milwaukee warehouse (how many times have you heard THAT?) While Manson skews darker, and Bloodhound gang is more goofy - if you had a Venn diagram displaying lyrical topics there would be a narrow intersection. Same goes for style. Manson will occasionally dip into the absurd or silly and Franks can occasionally go darker. This makes these two musical icons perfect for trivia! Rich Evans tends to play things safe by attempting to identify the “silly” lyrics while Jay plays it smart and thinks about context and how each line is written, all the while daftly looking for clues in the words that could give away the author. But Mike picks lines carefully. How will these two titans of warehouse trivia measure up this time under the hosting of the sneaky, miserly, disgusting, embarrassing, rude, and demeaning Mike? Watch and see dummies! This video will be followed by a celebration video if it passes 5,000 views on YouTube so stay tuned!!!!!
Mr. Plinketts Super Happy Fun Star Trek: The Next Generation Mistakes Video RedLetterMedia 2024-02-18 | Hello friends! It’s been a while... It’s me, Mr. Plinkett! Now, you all know I love Star Trek: The Next Generation. I’ve been watching episodes on the Blu Rays recently and I started to notice lots of little production errors. Things that the quick and dirty TV production of the 80’s and 90’s probably overlooked, didn’t notice, or didn’t care about. I thought, why not catalog all these charming little blunders into a video? I also thought to myself, they really could have digitally erased these mistakes when they made them Blu Rays. But they didn’t. They were TNG purists. No updates, no new visual FX. No "special editions"... I’ll take a show with good stories and barn doors over a show with a clean, flawless production and characters that act like grade school-educated idiots any day. Alas, to me, TNG is still a perfect show as even the best of us have our flaws.
Mike and Jay Talk About Dinner in America RedLetterMedia 2024-02-09 | Mike and Jay are back for another Mike and Jay Talk About video where Mike and Jay talk about the movie Dinner in America, a punk rock coming of age suburbia dystopian love story. This is an addendum to our Half in the Bag Kyle Gallner triple feature extravaganza!
The Nerd Crew: Madame Web Live Stream RedLetterMedia 2024-02-03 | The gang is back! After a brief hiatus and a desperate need for money, the Nerd Crew returns to discuss their excitement for the new Sony Pictures movie Madame Web in theaters February 14th. This is their first attempt at a live stream so be patient with them.
Showgirls - re:View RedLetterMedia 2024-01-28 | Hey look! It's that movie everybody hates from that director that everybody loves. It's Showgirls! Now several decades after its release, Showgirls has had many reappraisals over the years but not by these two dim witted slobs. Is Showgirls a misunderstood camp classic or a genuinely terrible movie? Perhaps the truth lies somewhere in between. Enjoy the video before YouTube shadowbans it!!!
Best of the Worst: Glenn Danzigs Death Rider in the House of Vampires RedLetterMedia 2024-01-19 | You may know Glenn Danzig for his music. Or perhaps you know him as the guy who got punched out. Or maybe you know him from his viral kitty litter photo. But what you may not know is that Glenn Danzig is also a "'''''''''filmmaker'''''''''' who's previous movie was called Verotika. We reviewed Verotika on Half in the Bag a few years ago and now he's back, baby! His latest movie is called Death Rider in the House of Vampires. It's a vampire western. And the main character is literally named "Death Rider" because Glenn Danzig is a very serious filmmaker. Come with us on this autopsy of a once promising good-bad filmmaker who has now made one of the most boring movies of all time. If Glenn Danzig is going to waste our day, then we're going to waste yours! Enjoy, suckers!!
Star Trek: The Next Generation Trivia (Part 2 of 10) RedLetterMedia 2024-01-14 | Trivia revenge is a dish best served with a side of jerk chicken. Hi, I’m Krebs Gorlon the owner/operator of this YouTube channel (not affiliated with MrBeast) and I’m here today to share with you a video. A lovely video indeed about three stunted men in their 40’s that dress up in Star Trek costumes and play a 30-year-old trivia game. Real men are out there in the cold fixing downed electrical lines, savings lives at hospitals, or providing air traffic control for our nations busiest airports. These men are doing this…. In olden days they would have been called “village idiots” perhaps even court jesters. Morons who shame thyselves for the delight of the King. In the 1800’s they would be circus freaks or even clowns – a shameful profession that does nothing for the betterment of the world other than entertain the regular townsfolk while they slurp down turkey legs coated in meat slime. With every stale laugh, stinky belch-filled chuckle, and gape-mouthed pointed finger, a piece of their soul is taken away. If there was any soul to begin with. Today, morons, clowns, court jesters, and idiots are called “YouTubers”. From dimwits opening up a Walmart “toy haul”, to content thieves reacting to “hair dye fails”, and buffoons playing a board game so you can watch them play it, this generation of artless village idiots have a new bell to ring in the town square. Just a digital one that uploads 9,000,000,000,000 hours of new content every second. I’m afraid to say our dear friends at RLM are no different. For this channel is filled with endless tales told by idiots full of sound and fury and signifying nothing but Star Trek trivia and the occasional movie review. This time Mike is out for revenge. In our last battle, Mike was winning and made a crucial mistake in the final question. This prompted the internet to crown Rich Evans as the king of all TNG trivia. Winning by a simple question doth not make one a king of trivia. Showing relentless and consistent knowledge is how to achieve that. I’m afraid to say Mike has and will continue to do that time and time again with surgeon-like precision. Evans, I hate to say it, is on his last leg mentally. Sure, Mike makes a mistake here and there, but his wit and knowledge remain strong and intact. Not much remains in Evans’ soiled soul. His meat sack body is nothing but a rotting bag of regret. Sure, he remembers some things about TNG, but did he retain anything else? Probably not. He’s seen with his own eyes Star Trek turn into a living nightmare and a joke. Star Trek was once a bastion of hope for lonely nerds in High School. If you liked Star Trek The Next Generation (or Star Trek in general) you were relentlessly mocked. Why? Because the show was thoughtful, proposed interesting ideas, and was scientifically methodical. It was the opposite of cool. It was the opposite of an exciting football game or going to a concert and pushing your friends in a mosh pit. Now, Star Trek is a football game and a mosh pit. It’s made for the dimwits who can’t hold their attention for 5 minutes without a joke or a quip or a stupid comment or something exploding or something dumb happening. No, our last sanctuary, if you will, is cuddling up with that warm blanket of nostalgia with a show that will never happen again. Committing each and every episode and it’s details to memory. To save and preserve a glorious time when life was worth living. So sit back and relax. Pour yourself a frosty beverage and watch as the last of the greatest generation mull over trivia questions read to them by a man who is allergic to barbers. Watch two old friends who met in 1995 and bonded over comic books and Star Trek, things that would get you beat up back then but are now cool, push their memories to the limit in a trivia battle for the soul of our nation. - Krebs Gorlon
Half in the Bag: Derivative Holiday Horrors RedLetterMedia 2023-12-29 | The holiday season may be sort of over (except for News Years) but the derivative holiday-related shit films keep pooping out of our TVs. Hi, I'm Porky Fartbag and I'm here today to tell you about Mike and Jay (aka redlettermedia) they do a show called Half in the Bag where they talk about movies. On this episode they watched three recent holiday films: It's a Wonderful Knife, There's Something in the Barn, and Thanksgiving. It would have been more appropriate if there was a News Years Eves film in there too, but such as it goes. While a murderous Santa or horror Christmas film in the 1980's would have caused a stir, today it's par for the course. What, with all the filthy p*rn, shameful home renovation shows , trash music, angry political programing, and TLC fatso shows; a killer Santa Claus seems quaint. However, people keep making these movies hoping to shock or catch a view. They cost very little and can squeeze out a few bucks via the streaming services and their satanic algorithms. Lost is art. Art is no more. It's metrics. It's actuary tables. It's core demographics. It’s titles needed for the streaming service content related algorithm. In fact, we kind of suspect that a computer made these movies for us. Thankfully though, 2023 might be the last year of movies, as I predict sometime in 2024 someone, somewhere will launch or detonate a nuclear weapon. This incident will cause a domino effect on the planet earth. No, not an all-out global thermonuclear war, but certainly chaos. Rebellions, mass migration, power grid failures, supply chain collapse, violent protests, starvation, mass murder and so on. Cities will burn. The planet will go dark and we will all long for a simpler time when we could watch a killer Santa Claus movie and share a laugh around the fireplace.
Best of the Worst: Christmas Plinketto RedLetterMedia 2023-12-20 | Ho Ho Ho it's time for another Christmas episode of Best of the Blurst! This year, we decided to do something different and leave our choices up to chance by having Santa Claus drop lumps of coal down the ol' Plinketto board and randomly select a few Christmas movies for us to watch!!!
Star Trek: The Next Generation Trivia RedLetterMedia 2023-12-15 | Its finally here! Mike and Rich face off in Star Trek: The Next Generation trivia showdown! It should be noted that this board game had a copyright of 1993 on it. This, I think, would mean that it was released during the series run and doesn't have any questions from season 7. That alone is fine, but also the game had some kind of weird layout to it. It was meant to roll dice and travel around the board. Each question had a symbol next to it which mean it belonged to some sort of category? It was related to something on the board, etc etc... Point being, many questions were lacking context such as episode name and situation. I.e. Ambassador Blorgon did this.... well, neither of us have a photographic memory so specific names, planets, sectors, etc are fuzzy without context. There have been many Ambassador so-and-so's The questions with context, such as episode name, really honed in the skills of Mike or Rich Evans. We also had to struggle through the horrendous mispronunciations of Jay.In the next episode of Star Trek trivia, I think we'll have Jay go through the questions and maybe ask ones that have a title in the question? Or get a different trivia game? What do you think? We've also floated the idea of team trivia? Mike and Rich vs .... ? The limits of embarrassing YouTube Star Trek trivia are as endless as space itself...
Red Letter Media Chaos RedLetterMedia 2023-12-10 | Just a collection of highlight clips from our various failures. This was originally posted to our short-lived second highlights channel but it made more sense to just keep everything here. Episodes featured:Black Spine Junk 2 - youtu.be/9M39zY9OXFA?si=vAnISCYEikmgAP1IClash in the College - youtu.be/X1nspyaDEEU?si=j5A5Q28bzMYPQnQAWheel of the Worst #5 - youtu.be/ceUSZBMeREY?si=KDNXXmVofzLV1zriPocket Ninjas, Cyclone, and Dangerous Men - youtu.be/3mRJmcuC-8Y?si=NCS740DYrKJXq6KjShock 'em Dead, Hollow Gate, The Satan Killer - youtu.be/DXWTfamqgMg?si=nAbigkZRpji0BzzENew Releases! - youtu.be/0ZsSCFAJUvQ?si=Pwjo5jq5OEpM4SeSWheel of the Worst #14 - youtu.be/jtshsLOoMbM?si=GurSBPPkuVOzyz17Carnivore, HautnedWeen, and Black Roses - youtu.be/7AbMMTwu3Fs?si=ZmNhQTNVuDVHKzzmBlack Spine Edition - youtu.be/_igaLv7ro8o?si=_5reSBIowrCiXLsI
Half in the Bag: 2023 Catch-up (Part 2) RedLetterMedia 2023-12-08 | (00:00) Asteroid City(05:45) The Flash(10:48) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem(13:04) Sanctuary(16:03) Suitable Flesh(20:39) Aporia(26:12) The Killer(29:30) TV Shows
Best of the Worst Spotlight: Wish Upon RedLetterMedia 2023-12-02 | In this latest installment of the popular series “Best of the Worst” the boys delve into the 2017 hit film “Wish Upon. But what exactly is a wish? Well, put simply, a wish is something you really want, but can’t make a reality yourself. Something that just will never ever happen without an external force, often a mystical or supernatural one. An example would be: you wish you had superpowers or win the lottery or that there would be a Half in the Bag on The Batman. These are things you cannot make happen yourself or will never ever happen under any circumstance. You don’t say, “I wish I could go out and get Taco Bell”. That you can make happen. That is not a wish (although afterwards you will wish you didn’t (excessive bathroom problems). The film “Wish Upon” asks the question, “What would happen if a dimwitted high school girl found a magical Chinese wish pot?” What would she do? A normal adult would wish for Rich Evans to sit on their face. But our hero, Clare, wishes for things a dumb kid would wish for. She asks for the popular girl to rot, a hot boyfriend to not have sex with her ever, her slippery gay uncle’s fortune, her garbage-picking father to be “Clinton cool”, and to be the most popular girl at school. I’d personally wish for laser eyes and a clear line of sight on mother’s ex-husband’s penis. Or to not have to wear a diaper when I walk the runway (I’m an obese male model). So Mike, Jay and Rich watch Wish Upon. Rich has never seen this film before. Mike and Jay have. In fact, they’ve seen it numerous times, but still get many details wrong. This film is as lame as a Hollywood film can get. A pathetic script was the key to all of this. Lame kills, bizarre choices, no real stakes or consequence or rules. Failed tension. And cringe like you’ve never cringed before. Even when you ate that lemon you thought was an apple. This movie is the store brand mac and cheese of movies. The Walmart brand mac and cheese. With a 14 million dollar budget and a gross of 20-something million I’m sure the moopie squeaked out a profit of a few hundred bucks, but at what cost? The reputation of Hollywood star Joey King? A blemish on the spotless resume of John Leonetti? What about the millions of teens or mentally ill adults who went to see this film? They wasted their time. They were hoodwinked by a traveling carnival barker! “Get your horror film! See the greatest horror film, right here folks! Step right up!” only to sell them a big bowl of bitch sauce and then leave town the next morning. That’s NOT siracha hot. And what about hunky monkey Ryan Phillips? His stardom went up like the Challenger. Off to space he goes… oh… Wish Upon. But certainly an actor with a decent resume can survive a hit like this, but what about them teens in the film? Without making the obvious “wish I didn’t act in that film” joke, I bet they regret acting in this film. So many agents got fired they are now agents… AT A RENTAL CAR COMPANY!!! How many of Jean Luc Picard’s mothers hung themselves after this fat wet fart of a film. How many more Wish Upon’s does the world need? I remember the days of the Renaissance™, when artists were artists. If you sucked, you swept the streets, baked bread, or just went off and died. There can only be so many Michelangelo’s in this world. Now, any clown can write a junk script with a whack concept that looks good to teenagers and make a film of it. We need to get the clowns out of Hollyweird. We need less creeps and pedos and more real filmmakers not peddling this trashcan of grumpy bitch sauce. However, to speak of the positives. Rich Evans was semi-thrilled at the concept of watching this film. We forced him to watch this and he got a kick out of it. In fact, his pants became so filled with human eggs he needed to change his chastity diaper. The real deal breaker though was the fact that I used his precious Nanoo in the video as an example. Now Rich’s grandma Nanno (1919 – 2000) has been in a grave for a very long time, however, this is a sore spot for Rich. While he loved his sweet stinky grandma, Rich secretly wished for her passing. Her care became a burden. Prescription refills, trips to the doctor, sponge baths, etc… One night Rich found an old magic 8 ball and while you typically ask a magic 8 ball questions, Rich had made a wish that fateful night. He said, “I love my dear Nanoo, but alas I wish she’d fucking die already”. The very next day Nanoo continued to live for another 12 years. Rich was furious. So, of course, he thinks this movie and it’s premise is total fucking bullshit.
Half in the Bag: 2023 Catch-up (Part 1) RedLetterMedia 2023-11-28 | (00:00) Intro(05:26) Comic Book Movies(08:19) Creed III(12:35) Talk to Me(17:40) Scream VI(21:46) Insidious: The Red Door(24:15) Where's Rose?(28:37) The Boogeyman(31:01) Beau is Afraid(36:14) Five Nights at Freddy's
Raising Arizona - re:View RedLetterMedia 2023-11-21 | Mack didn't win Celebrity Jeopardy so now he is forced to discuss the classic Coen Brothers comedy Raising Arizona with professional clown Richard Evans.
Displaying Our Exploded USS Enterprise D RedLetterMedia 2023-11-16 | Our movie and TV memorabilia museum is expanding! We are now the proud owners of pieces of a 4 foot model of the Enterprise D. This model was blowed up in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect". It was shipped to us in a ton of pieces (it was exploded) and we had to figure out a way to display it. If we didn't do it soon it would be doomed to sit on a shelf somewhere forever as we are all pretty lazy (except Rich and Jay). So Mike and Dick the Birthday Boy spent many a nights discussing how to do this. A plan was made. Since this was a pretty long process, we decided to make a little documentary about it. What else are we gonna do with our time?
Friday the 13th Trivia! RedLetterMedia 2023-11-10 | It's another trivia video!!1! This time, Jay and Mike reach into their rotted brains to try and remember specific details about the endless forgettable characters from the Friday the 13th movies that they just watched.
