The American Songbook: Redacted Comedy Special RobPRocks 2026-09-24 | The American Songbook: Redacted Comedy Special
Celebrity’s Kid live at the Odd Rock Comedy Hour RobPRocks 2023-11-03 | This is the first time my new song “Celebrity’s Kid” was performed in front of an audience! And my idea for a two-part sing-along actually worked! Thanks of course to the awesome audience at my monthly variety show The Odd Rock Comedy Hour at QED in beautiful Astoria, Queens! Sure, Nepo Babies are annoying, but they at least inspired this catchy tune 🤷♂️The song is on The Green L.E.D.s new album The Opposite of Afterglow, coming out Nov. 17, 2023, and you can get it as a preview track when you preorder the album on bandcamp or Apple Music!Apple music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-opposite-of-afterglow/1712966872bandcamp: thegreenleds.bandcamp.com/album/the-opposite-of-afterglow
Life is a Drag! RobPRocks 2023-05-28 | I wrote this song in support of drag performers everywhere! Drag is not dangerous, it’s a performance style that’s been around for centuries. I’m not a drag act but I can’t stand the way my fellow performers are being vilified and targeted lately, and that anger turned into this song. Enjoy, and please support reasonableness and tolerance out there. Be excellent to each other!Lyrics:Now the world has it’s share of uptight busybodiesWho want everyone to act a certain wayThey’re often getting mad and they’re always acting haughtyAnd they’d never indulge in a sense of playBut every mammal plays, it’s how we spend our the daysFrom the mighty horse’s neigh to the cat’s meowAnd this playing hones our skills—and it sometimes pays the billsThese aren’t frills, you want to thrive? Well this is howLife is a drag so let’s have some funDon’t be a nag, it doesn’t hurt anyoneThe joke is on you if you don’t get the gagLife. Is. A Drag!Now to those we may offend, those who heartily contendThat the world is black and white, or pink and blueSkip those duotones, use your rods and cones (those are in your eyes)To see that other hues can get you throughThere’s no need to be snooty there are many kinds of beautyMany ways you can embrace your inner foxSo focus on the art, don’t concern yourself with partsYou really need to think outside the boxLife is a drag so just sing a songFly your own flag and you’ll find where you belongYou don’t need to know if I’m a doe or a stagLife. Is. A Drag!Some people lose their minds when they see us playThey threaten us and sound the alarmThey want to take control but at the end of the dayThe hatred that their spewing is what’s doing all the harm…6, 7, 8…Life is a drag so live and let liveWe’re not punching bags, we’ve got no _____ left to giveWe’re fine as we are and that isn’t a bragLife. Is. A Drag! Don’t be afraid of what makes your tail wagLife. Is. A Drag!
Beep! Beep! Outta the Way! [Official Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2023-04-19 | Henry Ford hated jazz. He thought it was a symptom of a decaying society and he blamed its popularity on a conspiracy of people from a certain religion. So I wrote him a 1920s-style jazz song!It’s from the album The American Songbook: Redacted, which is full of songs that poke fun at history and culture, check it out at these links!Bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/beep-beep-outta-the-wayYouTube music: youtu.be/UTOdc4LNZ88Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/beep-beep-outta-the-way/1646865974?i=1646866460Spotify: open.spotify.com/track/470xLxU740OL2diCVYQozt?si=0526093b991b4395Amazon Music: amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0BFT8KBQH?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_rB7Kmf8pKi6PIA1CK0b0FWKRe&trackAsin=B0BFTFDJHMLyrics:Henry Ford was adored for making automobilesBut after several years it didn’t have the same appealSo he bought a paper for himself and hired some scribesTo publish weekly anti-Jewish diatribesAnd of the several racist views that he hasHe blames the Jews for how much he hates jazzAnd if this music criticism sounds insaneIt is! Shouldn’t a car guy know to stay in his lane?Beep Beep! Outta the WayThe old man has something to sayHere’s a word from Henry Ford“I don’t like songs with too many chords!”The tooting horns and jungle beatMake young people move their feetThe Charleston is quite a scareSo I’ll force all dancers into squares!That’s right! Henry Ford heavily promoted square dancing as his corrective for all the urban jazz he hated so much. It’s why we all had to take it in grade school. Let’s see, square dancing involves one person on stage telling everyone else exactly what to do. Why, that’s not dancing, that’s TYRANNY!Beep Beep! Outta the wayWhat’s wrong with these kids today?Their music’s bad, there’s no denying itSo it must be a plot by Zionists!Music was good beforeHow great was the Civil War?Yeah, people died, I guess that’s wrongBut it’s a small price for such great songs!Just keep that music free of all the ethnic syncopationSonic impurities are a mark of too much immigrationIt’s got to be an evil plot each week new tunes assault the earsNo one needs this many songs “I made 1 product for 18 years!”Beep Beep! Outta the way!Will jazz destroy the USA?This old man thinks it’s trueAnd he blames it on the JewsAnd he is gonna useAll his capital to spewAll his racist views today!Beep! Beep!
Plug Your Ears and Sing! Official Video RobPRocks 2023-04-01 | In the style of a Stephen Foster 19th Century parlor song, Plug Your Ears and Sing! is about how the U.S.’s history of race relations makes some people so uncomfortable that they don’t want it to be taught at all. I’m looking at you, state governments of Florida, Virginia, Texas, and too many others!But if we don’t learn about what happened in the past we’ll never understand how we arrived at the way things are now. So let’s get over ourselves and not freak out every time a history lesson makes us uncomfortable!From my latest album and show The American Songbook: Redactedbandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/album/the-american-songbook-redactedSpotify: open.spotify.com/album/0gx9MayBjKdRao6azDRWLG?si=hv0Yl-obRjuY6pkJ2Ep-xwApple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-american-songbook-redacted/1646865974Amazon: amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0BFT8KBQHYouTube: youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mf6-D-5-_y_HubsGJCwZln3O_OIr9qnKYLyrics:Plug Your Ears and Sing! When you’re talking historyThe stories can be sadSlaves and segregationCan make White folks feel badSo let’s pretend that bondageWasn’t as bad as they sayAnd let’s not try to tie the pastTo what we have todaySo don’t learn your historyJust plug your ears and sing!Ignore unhappy subjectsWhich is almost everythingWe don’t like the stories When the villains look like usIf we feel some discomfortWe’ll raise an angry fussWe want to feel betterAbout evils done beforeWe’ll even change the reasons whyThere was a Civil WarOh, don’t learn your historyJust plug your ears and sing!Ignore unhappy subjectsWhich is almost everythingWhite folks’ past transgressionsCan put White folks on defenseJust by saying ‘White folks’Most White folks take offenseSo let’s avoid the subjectLet’s all get alongLet’s center our own voicesAs we sing a happy songOh, don’t learn your historyJust plug your ears and sing!Ignore unhappy subjectsWhich is almost everythingWe’ll only take our historyWhen we’ve removed all the wartsIf teachers hurt our feelings We’ll take them all to courtFor it’s not proper mannersTo frankly talk of raceWe’d treat everyone equallyIf they just knew their placeOh, don’t learn your historyJust plug your ears and sing!Ignore unhappy subjectsWhich is almost everythingOh, don’t learn your historyJust plug your ears and sing!Ignore unhappy subjectsWhich is almost everything
The Ballad of Lou Pearlman [Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2023-03-26 | There have been a lot of Ponzi schemers but only one used his money to give the world the gift of boy band pop. That man was Lou Pearlman and this song is the epic story of his grift.From the album The American Songbook: Redactedon apple music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-ballad-of-lou-pearlman/1646865974?i=1646866465on Spotify: open.spotify.com/track/78DWewDz32D7vIrOwaLPPron bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/the-ballad-of-lou-pearlmanon YouTube Music: youtu.be/1E1SGEWgEwMLyrics:The Ballad of Lou Pearlman as performedIn the 90s all your pre-teen dreamsHad been funded by a classic Ponzi schemeMoney from financial malfeasanceWas used to find boys who could sing and danceA guy named Lou had a slew of bogus companiesPeople invested but the money went missingHe said that he ran aviation companies across the nationBut he was straight up griftingHe used the money to begin a talent searchFounded agencies and labels in a blink Hired coaches choreographers and chaperonesSoon he gave the world Backstreet Boys and *NSYNCIn the 90s every pre-teen dreamHad been funded by a classic Ponzi schemeMoney from financial malfeasanceWas used to find boys who could sing and danceA middle class kid from QueensWho liked helicopters and planesSold a blimp to Jordache JeanesBut it went down in flamesHe took the companies public through shady penny stocksHad insurance and accounting forms but he forged all the docsThe transportation companies were barely realThe investment fund was where huge sums were lostHe lied to borrow money which he spent on record dealslike 3 million bucks in Backstreet Boys startup costsIn the 90s every pre-teen dreamhad been funded by a classic Ponzi schemeAnd since con men always thrive on reality TVHe started Making the Band on ABCEventually all of his acts would sue himAnd authorities like the SEC would start to see right through himHe borrowed more and for a while was somewhat resilientBut in the end he’d taken over three hundred millionWord! The guy who started Backstreet Boys and ’NSYNC stole 300 million dollars! A hundred million from individuals!In the 90s every pre-teen dreamHad been funded by a classic Ponzi schemeMoney from financial malfeasanceWas used to find boys who could sing and danceIf you’re wondering, the other 200 mil. was from institutional inverstors (just say ‘banks’)In the 90s every pre-teen dreamHad been funded by a classic Ponzi schemeMoney from financial malfeasanceWas used to find boys who could sing and dance
Corporations Are People Too! Lyric Video RobPRocks 2023-02-23 | A comedy song explaining the wonders of corporate personhood! Written, arranged, and performed by Rob Paravonian, illustrations and character design by Dan Pavelich! (Visit him on patreon! patreon.com/JustSayUncle)From the album The American Songbook: Redacted! by Rob Paravonian, available everywhere digital music is underappreciated!Spotify: open.spotify.com/track/02qlkt1VUiicECSFx8FSTz?si=8c7e9a1a910d4accBandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/corporations-are-people-tooApple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/corporations-are-people-too/1646865974?i=1646866463Lyrics:Corporations are people tooThey’re just like you and meThey have to keep showing quarterly growthThanks to shareholder primacyThey’re always trying to look goodTo sell themselves to the investor classAnd they claim that they’re really from IrelandTo avoid paying U.S. taxAdmit it, we’ve all done that! Haha. Top of the morning to ya!Corporations are people tooThey have needs and desiresThey just want to have a few good yearsSo they can be acquiredThey can enter into contractsAnd yes, they can get suedBut then they go bankrupt and kill themselvesAnd everybody is screwedUh oh! Just try collecting that settlement now, it’s gonna be tricky!And nothing’s more important to a corporate personThen their right to political speechWith their millions in undisclosed SuperPAC fundsThey do things beyond average citizen’s reachThey can muddy the waters of discourseSo they can dirty the water and airThey can buy all the minutes of corporate mediaSurely that’s totally fair!!Corporations are people tooThey have 1st Amendment rightsFreeze Peach!The 2nd Amendment should apply to them tooIt would help in proxy fightsThey can have a religionAnd be extremely devoutAnd to any law that they think is a demon They can say, “I cast thee out!”Because when has nullification of a federal law ever caused a problem before?Corporations are people tooThey could be your best friendJust like real people they’ll like you moreThe more you spend on themThey can do some charity workAwThey can be patrons of the artsHooray!And just like you they can get bought outAnd then sold off for partsLike that time you woke up in a Juàrez bathtub missing a kidney. What was that!?
The Invisible Hand—Official Lyric Video! RobPRocks 2023-01-27 | The Invisible Hand, a phrase meant to explain the ideal workings of the marketplace, sounds more like a criminal organization from a James Bond film, so here’s a James Bond-style movie theme to make fun of it!From the album The American Songbook: Redactedon bandcamp: Direct links to the song:Spotify: open.spotify.com/track/6dkkOmxK9zUIGNx1Dxu11OApple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-invisible-hand/1646865974Bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/the-invisible-handsing written, arranged, and performed by Rob ParavonianVisual design by Peggy O’Brien & Steven RosenthalText design by Rob ParavonianLyrics:Have you heard about a power untold?It’s there whenever you trade something for goldJust make money it takes care of the restWith no work from you things work out for the bestIt builds a world better than a world could be plannedIt’s The Invisible Hand!If they’re selling smoke and you can’t get enoughAnd you would kill for just one little puffThen they find out it’s the smoke killing youAnd they’d prefer no one had any clueWho hides the truth so the smoke won’t get banned?It’s The Invisible Hand!The Invisible Hand can work wondersIt brings the best to the here and the nowAnd if there’s something that isn’t quite perfectWell then it’s probably your fault somehowIf you see pain our injustice or things that you must fixJust stick your head in the sand and trustThe Invisible Hand!The Invisible Hand!You want to disrupt things and climb to the topYou say you can test blood with just one little dropA story so good that it captures the mindBut the technology’s lagging behindWho says, “don’t worry, it’s time to expand”?It’s The Invisible Hand!The Invisible Hand!The Invisible Hand!The Invisible Hand!
“The Great Disappointment of 1844” Lyric Video RobPRocks 2022-10-18 | An emo song about The Great Disappointment, when people in 1844 thought Jesus was coming back and he totally bailed.From the album The American Songbook: Redactedon bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/album/the-american-songbook-redactedon Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/0gx9MayBjKdRao6azDRWLGon Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-american-songbook-redacted/1646865974on Rob's website: robprocks.com/release/the-american-songbook-redactedLyrics:Spoken:"Bible scholar William Miller convinced thousands that the End Times were upon us and his followers believed Christ’s second coming would happen in 1844. It didn’t. And the true believers were so distraught that people called it The Great Disappointment. Which is just so emo!"Since you said you’re coming backWe’ve kept faith and we’ve kept trackYou left clues to when you’d comeBut they’re so vague and we feel dumbPlease hurry with your earthly reign’Cause solving all these riddles hurts my brainYou sent signs, and we waitedOn the day that we calculatedWe’re here, where are you?What the hell are we supposed to do anymore, after 1844?We tried to figure out your pathWe read your books and did the mathCounting up from ancient daysWe showed our work so many waysI really hope the time is near’Cause I did not plant any crops this yearWe’re here and we’re readyWe can’t wait for the ArmageddyIt’s time to returnSo this stupid world won’t be our concern anymore, after 1844The Great DisappointmentGod skipped his appointmentHe bailed and we’re bumming’Cause there was no second comingLet’s just say we were rightAnd something happened out of our sightSo as long as we’re aliveWe’ll say the day will soon arriveSpoken:"So the Millerites said they had the day right, but instead of the Second Coming something invisible happened in the spirit world to set it up. And it's still gonna happen. Any day."We’re here, we’re not movingWhen you believe there’s just no disprovingWe’ll set dates if you dare usAnd when we’re wrong we won’t be embarrassed anymore, after 184418441844
“The People Who Were Already Here” Lyric Video RobPRocks 2022-10-10 | A cowboy singer ponders the frontier myth of the American west, with yodeling!From the album The American Songbook: Redacted: robprocks.com/release/the-american-songbook-redactedon bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/the-people-who-were-already-hereon spotify: open.spotify.com/track/4lfHbTJvzSmGWBcBhQgBDP?si=d2a1ba2766af427aon Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-people-who-were-already-here/1646865974?i=1646866462Lyrics:The Western sky covers all we revereExcept for the people who were already hereThere’s opportunity for those who can persevereExcept for the people who were already hereCome on and grab yourselves some acres we need lots of takersWe fake it til we make it that’s why makers are such fakersWe’re out here where the opportunities are sublimeExcept for the people who’ve been here the whole timeThe heavy hand of government will not interfereExcept with the people who were already hereWe believe in meritocracy out on this frontierExcept for the people who were already hereThis land of opportunity’s a clarion callOur divine mission is clearThe bounty of this land will be open to all Except for the people who were al- ready hereWe’ll spread the gifts of liberty that we hold dearExcept to the people who were already hereAnyone can stand their ground if they’re ever in fearExcept for the people who were already here The taming of this land will give us all cause to cheerExcept for the people who were already hereWe’ll idolize western characters for yearsExcept for the people who were already hereLa-eeeee eee-eee-heeeeee-eee-heee-eee-heeI’m not even talking about the descendants of the Spanish and the southwestern people who’ve been here for hundreds of years.Or even the Chinese laborers who were brought over to build the railroad and basically enslaved and not given any rights.You see the economy of the West had less to do with cattle and more to do with real estate and mining and lumber and other extractive industries.My point is history’s complicated.
Satanic Panic [Official Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2022-10-07 | From the album The American Songbook: Redacted by Rob ParavonianCheck out album on bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/album/the-american-songbook-redactedSpotify: open.spotify.com/album/0gx9MayBjKdRao6azDRWLGApple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-american-songbook-redacted/1646865974or buy an actual, physical CD at my online store! robprocks.com/product/the-american-songbook-redactedBackgroundIn the 80s & 90s cops, news anchors, and Geraldo Rivera were convinced Satanic Cults were regularly abducting and killing people all over the world. People went to jail, lives were ruined, and warning labels started showing up on rock records. That there was never any corroborating evidence didn't seem to bother anyone.Articles mentioned at the end:New Yorker: newyorker.com/magazine/1993/05/17/remembering-satan-part-iCBC Podcast: cbc.ca/listen/cbc-podcasts/472-satanic-panicWitch Hunt movie: imdb.com/title/tt1196112/?ref_=tt_urvCapital Daily" capitaldaily.ca/news/satanic-ritual-abuse-michelle-remembers-lawrence-pazder-victoriaLyrics:You got someone to interrogateTheir stories are boring, it’s not going greatTell them they gotta give you moreIf they don’t give you demons don’t let them out the doorMaybe slip them some occult informationLet them imagine, invite speculationTell them they could never take it too farCuz you learned about this a one-day seminarSatanic Panic! Everyone needs a foeYou wanna feel right, you need someone to fightAnd the devil is the devil you knowSatanic Panic!Seek him and you shall findThat the devil is everywhereCuz he’s coming out of your mind (what, are you blind?!)We’re terrified of corrupting youth So afraid we don’t have time for the truthSo we take our fears and pin them allOn some sort of super secret global cabalWe’ll subject everything to our devil inspectionMovies and games, our kids’ record collectionAnd if we don’t find what we need in the lyricsF*** it, play it backwards maybe then we can hear itSatanic Panic!See the world through this paranoid viewDungeons and Dragons, that freak Bilbo BagginsHell, Yoda’s prob’ly in on it tooSatanic Panic!He’ll show up if you just say his nameYou sit on your sofa while Geraldo and OprahPump hysteria straight to your brainBad things in this world aren’t a mysteryTake a look at all of human historyLooking for trauma? You won’t have far to searchYou can find some caused by the catholic church(or a wrestling program, or a gymnastics program. Look, I’m not saying all of those things, but some, and any is too many. And my point is it's not international devil cults or Hollywood billionaires underneath a pizza parlor. It's people. Sometimes people suck!)Satanic Panic!No evidence is ever foundLife is confusing but when you’re accusingIt feels like you’re on moral high groundSatanic Panic!It’ll leave your logic impairedWhen stories are ominous something flips on in usAnd we cant stop running scaredWhen stories are ominous something flips on in usAnd we cant stop running scared
Summer Fridays Lyric Video RobPRocks 2022-06-24 | A southern rock jam about the illusive seasonal time off known as Summer Fridays. Sometimes it's hard to actually get out of the office in time to enjoy any of the potential time off, usually because Gary keeps dropping work on you Thursday night. You're a jerk, Gary!It's on Spotify: open.spotify.com/track/2HZqkzmRgdLpzaJHdWNVSp?si=656f002261a74c7eand bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/summer-fridaysAnd hopefully Apple Music soon!
Title: Cover Tuesday 2nd Annual Telethon! March 15, 2022 8:15 pm RobPRocks 2022-03-16 | Powered by Restream https://restre.am/ytMarking our 2nd Anniversary with a telethon to raise $ for Ukraine!
The Green L.E.D.s Record Release Show! RobPRocks 2021-10-29 | Powered by Restream restream.ioRob is playing songs from, talking about, and taking questions on his debut non-comedy music album. Available at all the places including here on youtube: youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_nDMpK6yo_-ivUvQVRd4j_T25pOPMBrn-kAnd on the spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/73C8MQkdksmYnhAg8mdxcK
If Youre Looking For The Perfect Alt-Rock Needle Drop! RobPRocks 2021-10-28 | Are you a music supervisor for a TV series of film looking for the perfect alt rock needle drop? Have we got the album for you!!Here it is on Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/01hwO17PTHZeTpe3VL4CokApple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/the-green-l-e-d-s/1585848835Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/thegreenleds/sets/the-green-ledson Bandcamp: thegreenleds.bandcamp.com/album/the-green-l-e-d-sAnd the limited-run CD, only 50 signed and numbered copies!: robprocks.com/product/the-green-l-e-d-s-cd
Cover Tuesday 1-Year Anniversary Telethon! 8:15 pm NYC time (5:15 Pacific, 0015 UTC) RobPRocks 2021-03-17 | Powered by Restream restream.ioStoopit Covers to raise $ for Food Bank NYC!
Pop-Up Comedy Music Set on Jan 18, 2021 RobPRocks 2021-01-19 | Setlist:0–5:15 Opening screen5:15 Intro8:20 Driving With Grandpa11:08 Decoupage16:20 I’m Just Here For The Swag19:55 Catching Rays on the Fire Escape24:25 Booze, Women, and Movies30:25 Particle Board34:10 Grown Men In Flip-Flops40:55 Dial Up Days46:05 Baby in a Bar53:35 Flashback Wife59:35 Pushing Band CandyPowered by Restream restream.io
Cover Tuesdays! A fun set of stoopit covers streamed directly to YOU! RobPRocks 2020-08-04 | Made an ad for my Cover Tuesday show and I think it captures the ridiculousness of the fun we have. Rock! R&B! Pop! Rap! Muppets! And scintillating conversation!Join us for cover songs played by a professional goofball musician on acoustic guitar, piano, and sometimes a slide whistle solo! Covers from all decades with tons of 70s, 80s, and 90s hits cuz that’s what Rob knows the most of.See you on Tuesday nights at 8:15 pm NYC time (5:15 Pacific, 0015 GMT) over at twitch.tv/RobPRocks
Pandemic concert cover of Diz Knee Land by dada RobPRocks 2020-07-15 | Do you remember this song from 1992? In my weekly cover song show Cover Tuesday I did a version of this song by dada, "Diz Knee Land," in honor of the insane fact that Disneyland and Disneyworld reopened here in the US during a global pandemic. Enjoy!
F*** You John Bolton [Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2020-06-19 | Some musical thoughts on John Bolton and his new book “The Room Where it Happened.” Lyrics: F*** you John BoltonF*** you John BoltonF*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid bookYou’re beyond revoltin’For the facts you’ve been withholdingSo f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid bookHe said that he was in the room where everything occurredHe noted all the gloom and doom but when asked he just demurredWhen there was something he could do he didn’t testifyHe said, “I think I’ll write a book! to deliver all the dishAbout abetting total crooks I’m such a little bishA big cash advance I took and hung my country out to dryF*** you John BoltonF*** you John BoltonF*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid bookYou could’ve told ‘emWhile all this was unfoldingSo f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid bookYou knew that a-hole was unfit but you let it slideTo do the neo-right wing shit that you could pull off from insideYou got yours and then you quit (or got fired) and then walked away whistlingYou knew the danger in our midst but you looked the other wayYour chance for decency was missed you own the way things are todayYou covered for the arsonist So to now play the fireman just leaves us bristlingF*** you John BoltonF*** you John BoltonF*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book.It’s too late to be scoldin’The tyrant you’ve emboldenedSo f*** you John Bolton, I won’t buy your stupid book.
The Odd Rock Comedy Hour RobPRocks 2020-04-26 | Comedy and Music with host Rob Paravonian, guests Todd Chappell and Amy Engelhardt!
Catching Rays (on the Fire Escape) Quarantine Music Video RobPRocks 2020-04-21 | When your lockdown beach is the fire escape, you just gotta celebrate it with some beach music! A tubular track for enjoying the sun during quarantine! No Hodads!Download the track and pay what you want/can at http://robprocks.bandcamp.comThanks to Phebe Szatmari for running a second camera from a safe distance!Lyrics:Well, the beach is closedand I need some sunbut when I go outI can’t avoid everyoneI wanna get some sunbeams on my faceBut I gotta give everybody their spaceSo that means I can only go to one place…I’m catching rays (rays, rays)On the fire escape (ape, ape)It’s been too many days (days, days)How much more can I take (take, take)I’m going out of my mindI need some sunshineThat’s why I’m catching rays on the fire escapeI got a beer and a shot (shot, shot, a beer and a shot)And the wind in my hair (… “shut up!”)I always get a spot (spot, spot, get a spot)Cuz no one’s ever there (I’m so alone)Oh, here are no ocean soundsBut it’s the best place that I’ve foundTo avoid people cuz it’s 12 feet off the groundI’m catching rays (rays, rays, catching rays)On the fire escape (scape, scape, fire escape)I hope it’s just a phase (phase, phase, just a phase)It’s really not that great (it's not that great)It’s not sexy at allAnd there’s a chance that I could fallWhen I’m catching rays on the fire escapeI can’t play any frisbee, I can’t lie in the sandI can do two whole things, I can sit or I can standI smile at people far away as they walk by my placeBut I don't know f they’re smiling back cuz they’re covering their faceI’m catching rays (rays, rays, catching rays)On the fire escape (scape, scape, fire escape)Can’t catch any waves (waves, waves, catch any waves)I’ll never get in shape (I’m getting fat)It’s not a perfect planBut at least I’ll get a tanWhen I’m catching rays on the fire escapeI’m catching rays on the fire escapeI’m tired of catching rays on the fire escape
Buffet, Oh Yeah! Live at First Night Morris RobPRocks 2020-03-30 | Here's the song "Buffet, Oh Yeah!" from the First Night show, now in its own clip for easy sharability!Here are the lyrics:First course, eat like a horse, I'm a force to be reckoned withYou don't know who you messin’ with My food gets a blessing withRanch dressing, throw it on by the ladle with a dose so high the doctor says it's fatalFrom the cradle to the grave big food is all I craveSo when I see it all lined up I don’t know how to behaveGotta get my money's worth so I’ll surf and turfAnd eat 'til I burst and take some home in my purseBuffet! Oh, yay!I paid once I'm gonna stay all day, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!Look at all the plates that I can fit on my tray, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!How much food can I put away? At theBuffet! Oh, yay!I think I ate too much ’cause I can’t feel my legsEverything thing needs to be tried every entrée and sideI'll let it inside me if it's breaded and friedWhy decide? Take it all, everything is includedEvery tray should be looted until your body’s pollutedIf you computed all the calories that you’re throwing downIt’s probably enough to equal twenty-five poundsBut drown out the haters you can deal with them laterThere’s no one here to stop you ’cause the place has no waiters, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!I'll attack that line like a Green Beret, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!You're gonna get run over if you get in my way, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!Eating is a special skill on my resumé, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!If I don' eat it they're just gonna throw it awayAnd I didn't even mention, desert has its own sectionWhen I finish all the entrees I head straight in that directionMy affection for cakes and pies is so highThat my eyes are bigger than my butt has ever been wideThere’s a chocolate fountain I enjoy so much I think I'm sinnin’Especially since all the chirren put their fingers in itEvery minute I have access to this bountiful spreadIs a minute I don't spend my life drowning in dread, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!This place is like a church and I came here to pray, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!When I see this many options I go totally cray! At theBuffet! Oh, yay!If they run out of food I’m gonna eat the display, at theBuffet! Oh, yay!Don’t judge me this is my cheat day! At theBuffet! Oh, yay!
Rob Paravonian at First Night Morris RobPRocks 2020-03-19 | 45-miinute family-friendly set from First Night Morris, performed New Year’s Eve, 12/31/2019. Set list:0-1:2- Pop songs1:20 Bruno Mars2:35 Ed Sheeran4:25 All About That Bass5:10 Driving With Grandpa6:50 Nana7:40 Songwriters9:00 Tech Support for Mom & Dad10:40 Stepping on Legos11:20 Radio Disney, Harry Chapin, Neil Young13:35 Grammar Sympathizer14:45 We Don't Need to Facetime18:50 One Direction19:50 Maroon 5, Eric Clapton22:00 One Word Answers25:17 Buffet, Oh Yeah28:00 Short bits29:50 Country Dog31:20 Laser Cat32:25 Short songs34:45 Baby in a Bar37:20 Banter39:20 Pachelbel Rant
Pachelbel Rant from 2006 [Official High Quality Re-Post] RobPRocks 2019-11-05 | The original Pachelbel Rant in full resolution! I found the transcode file from the original mini DV tape!Thank you to everyone who liked, shared, translated, and commented on the Rant over the years. It’s been so exciting to hear about how people have found the video—some through music class in school, some found it through friends, some found it by googling Pachelbel to find Canon in D (Ha! Take that, Johann!)If you’re curious I’m still performing comedy music, I put out a live concert album in early 2019, I regularly perform in New York, the occasional cruise ship, and I write and produce music for myself and other artists. Check out RobPRocks.com for all the details, and check out the new album here: open.spotify.com/album/500uskrfq5cFG2mxDAo5Lm?si=iAwOqHYeR72UuLclOy1xQQTurn on closed captioning for the official transcript, here are the songs referenced:2:21 Graduation (Friends Forever), Vitamin C2:32 Cryin', Aerosmith2:43 One Tin Soldier, Coven3:35 Hook, Blues Traveler3:45 Basket Case, Green Day4:11 Push, Matchbox 204:15 Good, Better Than Ezra4:17 Machine Head, Bush4:21 With or Without You, U24:25 Torn, Natalie Imbruglia4:28 Sk8r Boi, Avril Livigne4:32 We’re Not Gonna Take It, Twisted Sister4:36 Laverne & Shirley Theme Song4:40 No Woman No Cry, Bob Marley4:43 Let It Be, The Beatles
Announcing the Rob P. Digital Box Set! RobPRocks 2019-08-06 | I’m thrilled to announce the release of the Rob P. Digital Box Set, a cassette tape-shaped USB drive containing every album I ever released, including out of print live compilations that haven’t been available in over 10 years! That's 6 studio albums, the new live concert album, and 3 live compilations—170 tracks! And there’s extra space on the drive so you can even use it to back up or transfer files!The 8 GB drive contains remastered tracks from my first two albums, Don’t Crowd the Plow and American Cheese, AND 2 remastered versions of the Pachelbel Rant, the 2006 version from Penn State and the early 1997 version from Catch a Rising Star in New York that was played on Dr. Demento way back in 1999! The drive will be available first at FuMP Fest 2019 in Chicago on August 9-11 for an introductory price of just $30! It will be available online through my website (RobPRocks.com) starting in October 2019.The drive includes excellent-quality digital versions of all tracks from every studio album:• Don’t Crowd The Plow–Remastered (1995)• American Cheese–Remastered (1998)• Living it Down (2001• Songs From the Second Floor (2009)• Keep Your Jazz Hand Strong (2013)• A/B (2016)The new live album Rob P. Rocks a Jazz Club (2019)and three live compilations:• Playing for Drunks (1997)• Official Bootleg (2000)• Live on Both Coasts (2002)
Promposal—Live Album Lyric Video RobPRocks 2019-05-08 | He used a model rocket as part of his Promposal and what happened next should have been completely expected…Live standup comedy and music from my concert album Rob P. Rocks a Jazz Club (itunes.apple.com/us/album/rob-p-rocks-a-jazz-club-live/1449305498)
Theres a Party Going On—Live Album Lyric Video RobPRocks 2019-04-18 | Don't you just LOVE those invitation services like eVite and Paperless Post that constantly harass you for having the nerve to get invited to a party? Of course not! No one does!That's why I wrote this song and put it on my new live concert album! (available everywhere, including this link: itunes.apple.com/us/album/rob-p-rocks-a-jazz-club-live/1449305498)This is my favorite song musically on the live album. It has one of my favorite melodies of all my songs, along with a free-flowing second verse of lyrics that I'm really proud of.Enjoy it here in animated word form! Plus, there's calligraphy!
Buffet, Oh Yeah! [Live Album Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2019-03-28 | Comedian and songwriter Rob Paravonian (the Pachelbel Rant guy) busts out some dope lyrics about how much he loves buffets! This lyric video is made from Rob’s live concert album “Rob P. Rocks a Jazz Club,” released in January, 2019, and it’s full of clever lyrics and good music. Check it out on iTunes! itunes.apple.com/us/album/rob-p-rocks-a-jazz-club-live/1449305498You want the lyrics? You can’t HANDLE the lyrics!I’m sorry, you can totally handle the lyrics, here you go: Buffet! Oh, yay!First course, eat like a horse, I'm a force to be reckoned withYou don't know who you messin’ with My food gets a blessing withRanch dressing, pour it on by the ladle with a dose so high your doctor says it's fatalFrom the cradle to the grave big food is all I craveWhen I see it all lined up I don’t know how to behaveI gotta get my money's worth so I’ll surf and turfAnd eat 'til I burst and take some home in my purseat the Buffet! Oh, yay!I paid once I’m gonna stay all dayat the Buffet! Oh, yay!Look at all the plates that I can fit on my trayBuffet! Oh, yay!How much food can a human put away?at the Buffet! Oh, yay!I think I ate too much ’cause I can’t feel my legsEverything thing needs to be tried every entrée and sideI will let it inside me if it's breaded and friedWhy decide? Take it all, everything is includedEvery tray should be looted until your body’s pollutedIf you computed all the calories that you’re throwing downIt’s probably enough to equal twenty-five poundsBut drown out the haters you can deal with them laterThere’s no one here to stop you ’cause the place has no waitersat the Buffet! Oh, yay!I'll attack that line like a Green Beretat the Buffet! Oh, yay!at the You're gonna get run over if you get in my wayBuffet! Oh, yay!Eating is a special skill on my resuméat the Buffet! Oh, yay!If I don' eat it they're just gonna throw it awayAnd I didn’t even mention dessert has its own sectionWhen I finish all the entrees I head straight in that directionMy affection for cakes and pies is so highThat my eyes are bigger than my butt has ever been wideThere’s a chocolate fountain I enjoy so much I think I'm sinnin’Especially since all the chirren put their fingers in itEvery minute I have access to this bountiful spreadIs a minute I don't spend my life drowning in dreadat the Buffet! Oh, yay!This place is like a church and I come here to prayat the Buffet! Oh, yay!When I see this much food I go totally cray!at the Buffet! Oh, yay!If they run out of food I’m gonna eat the displayat the Buffet! Oh, yay!Don’t judge me this is my cheat day!
Pop Songwriters—[Live Album Official Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2019-03-22 | There is just no way in absolute heck that it takes 10 people to write a 3 chord pop song! Havana!? The Middle? 17 songwriters between them and only 3 chords. Not even a change in the chord progression for a chorus or bridge! Just the same dang 3 chords throughout the whole thing!OK, obviously this is something that bothers me, which is why I was so happy that this bit from my live concert album (Rob P. Rocks A Jazz Club) went over so well with the live audience. Some comedy industry people have told me it's a subject that's too specific to music theory people and musicians, but I think it's something everyone can understand if presented properly.So here it is, a fun bit from my live concert album for you to enjoy on YouTube! If you like what you hear why not buy a track, or the whole thing, over at bandcamp? robprocks.bandcamp.com/album/rob-p-rocks-a-jazz-clubOr iTunes or wherever you buy stuff.
Driving With Grandpa—[Live Album Official Lyric Video] RobPRocks 2019-03-13 | I wanted to write a Beach Boys-style song that I could have related to when I was 10-years-old, and this is what I came up with :PFrom my new live album “Rob P. Rocks A Jazz Club” available on iTunes, Spotify, bandcamp, and all of your fave digital music outlets! (itunes.apple.com/us/album/rob-p-rocks-a-jazz-club-live/1449305498)Here are the song lyrics:Grandpa hasn’t gotten new glasses in years (wop, wop, wah-ooo, wop wop) Now driving with him is one of my greatest fears (wop, wop, wah-ooh)He’s yelling at the other drivers like he’s insaneI’m in the back seat praying and prayingCuz I’m the only one who knows we’re in the wrong laneDriving with Grandpa, gives me heart palpitationsDriving with Grandpa, it’s all moving violationsDriving with Grandpa, I wanna make it home tonightA ride with Grandpa always fills me with stress (wop, wop, wah-ooh)Cuz he stops traffic to yell at the GPS (wop, wop, wah-ooh)The right directions it won’t showWe asked three people, nobody knowsCuz the place we’re going closed 8 years agoRiding with Grandpa, ooh-wee-oohRiding with Grandpa, ooh-wee-oohRiding with Grandpa, wee-ooh-wee-ohhPull over! Pull over!Thank you, officer! I’m blinking Morse Code to you so you can rescue me!
Armenians in Media (from my live comedy album) RobPRocks 2019-02-27 | My dad loved seeing Armenian names in the media so I use my real last name in comedy. I talk about it on a track on my new live album, animated here for your visual enjoyment!Stream the album on Spotify or Apple Music, or buy on iTunes here: itunes.apple.com/us/album/rob-p-rocks-a-jazz-club-live/1449305498Also available on bandcamp, CDBaby, Amazon, Google, et al. :-)
New Album! New Songs! New Year! (still, sorta, kinda) RobPRocks 2019-01-18 | My new album hits the digital shelves Tuesday (Jan 22, 2019) and if you pre-order you can download a track right away!
Live Album Recording! Nov 13! RobPRocks 2018-09-27 | I'm SUPER EXCITED to announce that I'm recording my first full-length live comedy album! Why has it taken this long? Well, reasons.The recording will take place on Nov. 13 at ShapeShifter Lab in Brooklyn, NY and the album will be out in January 2019. Follow me on twitter, instagram, or on my mailing list to keep up with all the details :-)Heres' my twitter: http://twitter.com/robprocksAnd my Instagram: http://instagram.com/robprocks
How To Play Girls Like You by Maroon 5, with Rob P. RobPRocks 2018-07-10 | C-G-A minor-F, why, what an original chord progression!
How to Play Bodak Yellow by Cardi B, with Rob P. RobPRocks 2018-07-10 | Not sure what the point of ever playing this song on an acoustic guitar would be but hey, it's a big world.
How to Play Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, with Rob P. RobPRocks 2018-07-10 | OMG, 4 whole chords! CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!?!?
How to Play The Middle by Maren Morris or whomever, with Rob P. RobPRocks 2018-07-10 | You down wit G-C-D? That's all you need.
How to Play Shake it Off by Taylor Swift, with Rob P. RobPRocks 2018-07-10 | Do you know A-minor, C and G? Then you're done!
Im Just Here for the Swag. RobPRocks 2018-03-13 | A funk-soul jam that knows how you are at conventions: scouting every booth for the best giveaways! Work sent you there to learn new software, do some teambuilding, or give a lecture, but you're just there for the swag...Lyrics:At least once a year I attend a big conventionAnd seeing all the exhibit halls Is always my intentionI’ll give out my card and pretend to hear what you have to sayBut the dirty truth is I’m at your booth to see what you’re giving away, cuzI’m just here for the swag For the swag! He’s here for the swag!I’m throwing all the cool stuff I can find Right in my bagThey're meeting and greeting While I’m straight up trick-or-treatingYeah, I’m just here for the swag For the swag! He’s here for the swag!I’m just here for the swag!The good booths have the big crowds You’re gonna have to fight ’emIf you want to go home with all the coolest itemsand if they hold out because they doubt I fit their strategyI make some cards up, say I run a startup And wanna do some B2B, cuzI’m just here for the swag For the swag! He’s here for the swag!And if it’s super-dope I just might post With your hashtagTell them they shouldn’t censor I’m an influencerAnd I’m just here for the swag For the swag! He’s here for the swag!I’m just here for the swag!RapStrolling through the halls, seeing all the exhibitsIf your booth has a giveaway you know I’m gonna hit itI’m gonna fit it in if I didn’t get it yet, sonThen I’ll leave a divot when I pivot to the next oneGet some! Power bricks and headphonesCarabiner clips with sanitizing hand foamI’m going home with fabulous prizesIf you’re stuff is that fly I’ll be back in disguisesThe sky is the limit, everything is in playIf your logo’s on it I’ma wanna take it awayI didn’t make it that way, this place makes me manicIt’s kind of like a panic when they set up this dynamic Cuz I got the lanyard, you got the swagThe only thing that’s left to do is put it in my bag’Til it’s heavy and saggin’ and I’m draggin’ it awayYou can nag me but, hey, you know what I’m gonna sayI’m just here for the swagFor the swag! He’s here for the swag!I’m getting everything from hoodies to a microfiber ragThere’s no sign I’ll be stopping I’m doing my Christmas shoppingI’m just here for the swag For the swag! He’s here for the swag!I’m just here for the swag!
When They Say Merry Christmas—Lyric Video RobPRocks 2017-12-22 | When you’re fighting the War on Christmas the words “Merry Christmas” take on special meaning. It’s time we celebrated that fact in song!Lyrics:You’ve probably heard “Merry Christmas” said in a new wayWith scowls and steely eyes that contradict what these words sayIt’s no longer said with smiles it comes out with a frown’Cause they’re not trying to lift you up they’re putting the whole world downWhen they say “Merry Christmas” they really mean “AMERICA!”Their radio and TV shows filled them with hysteriaThe world is out to get them they feel they’re under attackWhen they say “Merry Christmas” they mean “Take My Country Back!”These surly yuletide warriors get angrier each yearTheir greetings get more desperate as they give in to fearThey put special meaning into these certain words they sayAnd hope these incantations keep the evil world at bayWhen they say “Merry Christmas’ they really mean “J’ACCUSE!”To rain down condemnation on those who don’t share their viewsThey just want to celebrate the gift of peace and lightSo if you say “Happy Holidays” there’s gonna be a fightA baby born this season brings us joyNow all we see is Satan and those in his employWhen they say “Merry Christmas” they really mean “Fuck You!”They inflict their politics on everything they doThey’re not wishing peace on Earth or good will anymoreIt’s not “Merry Christmas” it’s a call to war!Oh, it’s not “Merry Christmas” it’s a call to war!
Shake it Off Waltz, Live RobPRocks 2017-08-24 | Who knew Shake it Off by Taylor Swift would work even BETTER as a waltz!One of my favorite things about hosting my own show is that I get to experiment with all kinds of different musical ideas. I’d been playing around with a 3/4 version of Shake if Off and wanted to see if other people would enjoy it as much as I did, so I tried it at my show. The crowd liked it as much as I did, they sang along and had as much fun as I did! From my monthly show Don’t Feed the Musicians! at Q.E.D. in Astoria, Queens, NY. Recorded by Heather, host of the wonderful Love Your Bodd podcast, subscribe here: http://loveyourbodd.libsyn.com
Bane has a solution for MTA awfulness! RobPRocks 2017-08-09 | BANE SHALL FREE YOU FROM THE N-TRAIN SHUTTLE BUSSES!He will also suggest the great lineup of entertainment and classes at QED in Astoria. Don’t be trapped in your apartment, Astoria! Take advantage of all the wonderful things to do right in your neighborhood!
I Love Spinners (so I wrote a song)! RobPRocks 2017-07-12 | If you can’t understand how awesome spinners are maybe this song will help. It sings the praises (real and imagined) of the toy sensation that has swept the nation!You may notice this song is set to the music of my other song “9 Dollar Cupcake.” Comedy music acts usually do parodies, which I don’t normally do, so I figured why not just do a parody of one of my own songs? Does that make it a parody or a re-write? I’ll have to call my legal team on that one and get back to you. Anyhoo, here are the new lyrics:My fidget spinner spins ’round and ’roundI want to spin it so fast that it lifts me off the groundI spin it on my fingers I spin it on my toesOne time on a dare I tried to spin it on my noseMom just didn’t get it when we brought the first one homeBut after she tried it she bought seven of her ownDad keeps asking questions, like, “how do you win?”Dad, that’s not the point, It's just fun to make it spin!My fidget spinner can go so fastIt made time go backward and I went into the pastWhere they didn’t have spinners but I didn’t careBecause then I invented spinners and became a millionaireI got one that’s blue, one that’s green and one that’s red and blackI didn’t like my yellow one so I gave it to my cat (he loves it!)I take my spinner everywhere, there’s never a bad placeIf I become an astronaut I’ll spin one out in spaceMy fidget spinner! (my fidget spinner!)I like it because it’s realIt’s something I can feelDon't ask what it meansAt least it’s not a screenMy fidget spinner, I’m supposed to shareBut my brother has his own so that’s not even fair!My fidget spinner can make me smartIt teaches me mechanics and inertia and the conservation of angular momentum… it’s all right here on this chartMy fidget spinnerMy fidget spinner
Somewhere Else [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO] RobPRocks 2017-06-14 | What’s the best way for Americans traveling abroad to avoid talking about Trump? Say you’re from Somewhere Else!Video directed by Victor Varnado: http://www.supremerobot.comCast: Dana Craig, Dara Jemmott, Rob Paravonian, Camille Theobald, Victor VarnadoSong written, performed, and recorded by Rob Paravonianwith backing vocals from Amina CamilleLyrics:When I go beyond our shoresI have to answer forThe Orange Man’s viewsI don’t have the abilityTo explain what they seeOn their evening newsThese jerks on T.V.Do not represent me, oh noThey’re just embarrassing arrogantNational foolsAnd being lumped in with them is just cruelSo when (whoa)She asks me if I’m American (whoa)I know she’ll judge me if I say I am (whoa)So I say that I’m from somewhere elseAnd when (whoa)She hears my accent and she asks again (whoa)I’ll say that I learned English watching Friends (whoa)And I swear that I’m from somewhere elseI have but few vacation days (It’s criminal how little we get)I won’t throw them awayExplaining his crazy waysIn a world filled with rageI don’t want to engageI could say I dissent but insteadI just set it asideAnd point to my maple leaf pin with prideSo it comes (whoa)To the point where she asks where I’m from (whoa)I tilt my head and then try to play dumb (whoa)And then I say that I’m from somewhere elseIllogical and irateHe’s on a new tiradeAll his bitching and complainingIt can be so draining’Cause you’re stuck explainingAll of the things that he does(Why is that now my job?)And When (whoa)She asks me if I’m American (whoa)I’ll say “I just want Obama back again” (whoa)‘Til then I’ll say I’m from somewhere elseAnd when (whoa)She hears my accent and she asks again (whoa)I’ll say that I learned English watching Friends (whoa)And I swear that I’m from somewhere else
Bane Addresses the MTAs N Train Shutdown RobPRocks 2017-05-17 | People of Astoria, Bane has the solution to your woes!
I’m as Broke as Kansas [lyric video] RobPRocks 2017-05-07 | You can have your econ degrees and wonky political symposia, I'll take a southern rock jam over that any day of the week, thank you very much! Supply-side economics doesn’t stand a chance against the tasty licks and fat groove of this rocker!Released as part of the Blindisght 2020 EP!Here it is on Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/5xpXoGsdsBr7G1Y4CFqudKAnd for you Apple Music fans: music.apple.com/us/album/blindsight-2020-ep/1542903155Here are the lyrics:Who would have thought the money would run outWhen you stopped bringing money in?And when I try something that doesn’t workI can’t wait to try it againI got tired of always having to winNow I’m as broke as KansasI couldn’t afford my schoolAnd I’ve taken out payday loansAll my rainy day reservesHave already been blownI’ve pawned nearly everything I ownNow I’m as broke as KansasYou know I still believeThough everyone can seeThat everything around me is going down in flamesBut I still sleep at night‘Cause I always think I’m rightAnd I always find someone else to blameThat's why I’m as broke as KansasYou could tell I’d wind up hereIf you took one look at my planPeople say I should to make a changeBut change ain’t who I amI'm not stubborn, I’m just living in a van‘Cause I’m as broke as KansasMy belief was pureI couldn’t be more sureThat what I did would help me to be strongBut now I'm in a bindAnd I still won’t change my mind'Cause I can’t learn if I won’t admit I’m wrongThat’s why I’m as broke as KansasOther people would see what’s going onAnd would figure out that they had had enoughBut I’ll stick with things I’ve believed all alongI’d rather be wrong and look toughThat's why I’m as broke as KansasI'm as broke as KansasI'm as broke as KansasI'm as broke as Kansas
4 AA Rechargeable Batteries Unboxing RobPRocks 2017-04-25 | How exciting is it to get 4 brand new AA rechargeable batteries? Not very.
Creepy, crawling wind-up baby lyric video for Baby in a Bar RobPRocks 2017-04-12 | This video is just plain wrong and this crawling baby creeps me out, but it perfectly sums up the confusion I feel whenever I see a baby in a bar. I’m there to get my drink on and now I have to face the infinite wonder and dread of the future that babies evoke?Album available on iTunes, Amazon, and here at bandcamp: robprocks.bandcamp.com/album/a-bSpecial lighting direction shout out to Smokin’ Joseph Fraizer!Lyrics (they're in the video! But here you go:)I'm a baby in a bar, everything is so bigDaddy's drinking a beer, he won't give me a swigThis is a great place for me with all this vodka and glassEvery surface is wet, I know that I'll bust my assBut don't blame my dad, he's not an alcoholicWe've been stuck in the house cuz I got the colicMy tummy hurts because my sphincters don't sphinctI've been screaming for days and daddy needs him a drinkAnd I think the bartender’s not happy with me Because I don't know how to tip and I don't have IDAnd the guys here hate me cuz I'm blocking their jocksBy tripping all the ladies’ biological clocks....I’m a baby in a barI'm a baby in a bar, this place used to be coolBut not while I'm sitting here in a puddle of droolI think I annoy the bartender tonightWhen she shakes up a drink I just shriek with delight I'm getting dirty looks and I guess I deserve itMaybe they're all jealous of my bottle serviceBut I think it's cuz I'm ruining their sense of mystiqueThis neighborhood used to be edgy now it's Sesame StreetBut it's not my fault so spare me your scornI didn't choose this place I was dragged here in a bjornSo before you take it out on me stop and thinkYou all are here to get laid, where do you think that will lead?To a baby in a bar I’m a baby in a barI’m a baby in a bar
Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, Explained! [Oof, Who Charted?] RobPRocks 2017-03-22 | Will pounding shots with your friends and putting on a Caribbean accent get you women? It will if you’re Ed Sheeran and you’re #1 on the charts!I try to make sense of the lyrics of “Shape of You” (and why it isn’t called “I’m in Love With Your Body” even though that’s the hook). Along the way we’ll run into Rihanna, George RR Martin, and get a quick cameo from the ’Hoff!This is the latest in my completely irregular series “Oof, Who Charted?” Other installments cover Jason Derulo, Katy Perry, Meghan Trainor, and another song by Ed Sheeran.
