updated 10 years ago
RAM'S DAD:
You wait just a minute, Paul!
It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours
that makes this world a place
our boys could not live in!
They were not dirty!
They were not wrong!
They were just two lonely verses
in the Lord's great song!
KURT'S DAD:
Our boys were pansies, Bill!
RAM'S DAD:
Yes! My boy's a homosexual,
and that don't scare me none
I want the world to know...
I love my dead gay son!
I've been thinking. Praying.
Reading some magazines.
And it's time we opened our eyes.
Well, the good Lord made the universe
The Lord created man
And I believe it's all a part of his
gigantic plan.
I know God has a reason
for each mountain and each flower
and why he chose to let our boys
get busy in the shower
They were not dirty!
They were not fruits!
They were just two stray laces
in the Lord's big boots
Well, I never cared for homos much
until I reared me one
but now I've learned to love...
I love my dead gay son!
CONGREGATION:
He loves his son
He loves his son
His dead gay son!
RAM'S DAD:
Now, I say my boy's in heaven
and he's tanning by the pool
The cherubim walk him and him,
and Jesus says it's cool!
They don't have crime or hatred
there's no bigotry or cursin'
Just friendly fellows dressed up
like their favorite village person!
They were not dirty
They just had flair
They were two bright red ribbons
in the Lord's long hair
Well, I used to see a homo
and go reachin' for my gun
but now I've learned to love...
And furthermore!
These boys were brave as hell
These boys, they knew damn well
Those folks would judge 'em
they were desperate to be free
They took a rebel stance
stripped to their underpants
Paul, I can't believe that you
still refuse to get a clue
after all that we been through
I'm talking you and me!
In the summer of '83
KURT'S DAD:
That was one hell of a fishing trip.
CONGREGATION:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
They were not dirty - Whoa!
And not perverse -- No no!
They were two stray rhinestones
on the Lord's big purse!
BOTH DADS:
Our jobs are now continuing
that work that they begun!
CONGREGATION:
'Cause now we love, love, love!
We love your dead—
BOTH DADS:
They're up there disco dancing
to the thump of angel wings!
They grab a mate and roller skate
while Judy Garland sings!
They live a playful afterlife that's
fancy-free and reckless!
KURT'S DAD:
They swing upon the pearly gates
BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION:
And wear a pearly necklace!
Whoo!
They were not dirty!
They were good men!
And now they're happy bear cubs
in the Lord's big den!
BOTH DADS:
Go forth and love each other now,
like our boys would have done
EVERYONE:
We'll teach the world to love...
BOTH DADS:
I love my dead gay son!
My son! My son!
CONGREGATION:
Not half bad, your dead gay son!
Wish I had your dead gay son!
Thank you, dad, for your...
BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION:
Dead! Gay! Son!
VERONICA:
I wanted someone strong who could protect me
I let his anger fester and infect me
His solution is a lie
No one here deserves to die
Except for me and the monster I created
Yeah!
Yeah!
Heads up, JD
I’m a dead girl walking
STUDENTS:
Heyo Westerberg!
VERONICA:
Can’t hide from me
I’m your dead girl walking
STUDENTS:
Heyo Westerberg!
VERONICA:
And there’s your final bell
It’s one more dance and then farewell
Cheek to cheek in hell with a dead girl walkin’
H. MCNAMARA:
Come on, Westerberg!
Here we go, Here we go now!
MRS. FLEMING:
Veronica! Jason Dean told us you’d
just committed suicide!
VERONICA:
Yeah, well, he’s wrong about a lot of things.
MRS. FLEMING:
I threw together a lovely tribute,
especially given the short notice.
VERONICA:
Mrs. Fleming, what’s under the gym?
MRS. FLEMING:
The boiler room.
VERONICA:
That’s it!
MRS. FLEMING:
Veronica, what’s going on?
VERONICA:
Got no time to talk
I’m a dead girl walking!
STUDENTS:
Heyo Westerberg!
Heyo Westerberg!
Tell me what’s that sound?
Here comes Westerberg
Comin’ to put you in the ground!
Go! Go! Westerberg!
Give a great big yell!
Westerberg will knock you out
And send you straight to hell!
VERONICA:
Step away from the bomb.
JD:
This little thing? I’d hardly call this a bomb.
This is just to set off the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym.
Those are bombs.
People are going to look
at the ashes of Westerberg and say there’s a
school that self-destructed not because society
didn’t care, but because that school was society.
The only place Heathers and Marthas can truly get along
is in Heaven!
VERONICA:
I wish your mom had been a little stronger
I wish she stayed around a little longer
I wish your dad were good!
I wish grown-ups understood!
I wish we met before they convinced you life is war!
I wish you’d come with me
STUDENTS:
Heyo Westerberg!
Heyo Westerberg!
Tell me what’s that sound?
Here comes Westerberg
Comin’ to put you in the ground!
Go! Go! Westerberg!
Give a great big yell!
Westerberg will knock you out
And send you straight to hell—
J. D.:
They made you cry
But that will end tonight
You are the only thing that's right
About this broken world
Go on and cry
But when the morning comes
We'll burn it down and then
We'll build the world again
Our love is god
VERONICA:
Are you okay?
J. D.:
I was alone
I was a frozen lake
But then you melted me awake
See, now I’m crying too
You're not alone
VERONICA:
You're not alone
J. D.:
And when the morning comes
VERONICA:
When the morning comes
J. D.:
We'll burn away that tear
And raise our city here
VERONICA:
Raise our city here
J. D. & VERONICA:
Our love is god.
KURT:
Yeah-lo?
VERONICA:
Hi, Kurt, it's Veronica.
How did you guys know
it was a fantasy of mine
to have two guys at once?
KURT:
Wowuhh... Lucky guess?
VERONICA:
If you want it to come true,
meet me at the cemetery.
At dawn.
KURT:
Free pussy!
RAM:
And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!
J. D.:
We can start and finish wars
J. D. & VERONICA:
We're what killed the dinosaurs
We're the asteroid that's overdue
The dinosaurs choked on the dust
They died because god said they must
The new world needed room
For me and you
J. D.:
I worship you
I'd trade my life for yours
They all will disappear
We'll plant our garden here
Our love is god
J. D. & VERONICA:
Our love is god
VERONICA:
Woah. Is that real?
J. D.:
Yeah, but we're filling it with "ich luge" bullets.
VERONICA:
Ich luge...? What?
J. D.:
My granddad scored them in World War II.
They contain a powerful tranquilizer.
The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides
when the Russians invaded berlin.
We will use them to knock out
Ram and Kurt long enough to make it
look like a suicide pact.
Complete with a forged suicide note.
KURT & RAM:
"Ram and I died because we had
to hide our gay forbidden love
from a disapproving world."
J. D.:
And when the morning comes
They'll both be laughing stocks
J. D. & VERONICA:
So let's go hunt some jocks!
KURT:
Hi... Veronica.
RAM:
Uh... So do we just whip it out or what?
VERONICA:
Take it slow, ram.
Strip for me.
KURT:
What about you?
VERONICA:
I was hoping you'd rip
my clothes off me, sport.
Count of three.
VERONICA:
One... Two...
J. D.:
Three.
KURT:
Aaaugh! Holy crap!
J. D.:
Stay there. I'll get him!
RAM:
Kurt?
VERONICA:
Ram? You're just unconscious, right?
Ram? Ram!
J. D.:
Get off the fence!
Get off the damn fence!
KURT:
I don't understand!
J. D.:
We can start and finish wars
We're what killed the dinosaurs
We're the asteroid that's overdue
KURT:
Stop being a dick!
J. D.:
The dinosaurs will turn to dust
KURT:
What does that mean?!
J. D.:
They'll die because we say they must
VERONICA:
What the fuck have you done?!
J. D.:
I worship you
I'd trade my life for yours
We'll make them disappear
We'll plant our garden here
Our love is God
VERONICA:
Our love is God
J. D.:
Our love is God
VERONICA:
Our love is God
J. D. & VERONICA
Our love is God!
VERONICA:
Fine, we're damaged
Really damaged.
But that does not make us wise.
We're not special.
We're not different.
We don't choose who lives or dies
Let’s be normal. See bad movies
Sneak a beer and watch TV.
We'll bake brownies,
or go bowling --
Don't you want a life with me?
Can't we be seventeen?
That's all I want to do
If you could let me in.
I could be good with you.
People hurt us
J.D.
Or they vanish...
VERONICA
And you're right that really blows.
But we let go...
J.D.
Take a deep breath...
VERONICA
Then go buy some summer clothes
We'll go camping...
J.D.
Play some poker...
VERONICA
And we'll eat some chili fries.
Maybe prom night...
J.D.
Maybe dancing...
VERONICA
Don't stop looking in my eyes...
J.D.
Your eyes...
VERONICA & J.D.
Can't we be seventeen?
Is that so hard to do?
If you could let me in.
I could be good with you.
Let us be seventeen,
If we've still got the right.
VERONICA
So what’s it gonna be?
I wanna be with you
J.D.
I wanna be with you...
VERONICA
Wanna be with you,
VERONICA & J.D.
Tonight!
VERONICA
Yeah we're damaged
J.D.
Badly damaged
VERONICA & J.D.
But your love’s too good to lose
VERONICA
Hold me tighter
J.D.
Even closer
VERONICA
I'll stay if I'm what you choose
J.D.
Can't we be seventeen?
VERONICA
If I am what you choose
J.D.
If we've still got the right
VERONICA
'Cause you're the one I choose
J.D.
You're the one I choose
VERONICA
You're the one I choose
JD:
All is forgiven baby!
Come on, get dressed!
You’re my date to the pep rally.
You chucked me out like I was trash,
For that you should be dead—
But! But! But!
Then it hit me like a flash,
What if high school went away instead?
Those assholes are the key
They’re keeping you away from me
They made you blind, messed up your mind
But I can set you free!
You left me and I fell apart,
I punched the wall and cried—
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Then I found you changed my heart
And set lose all that truthful shit inside
And so I built a bomb
Tonight our school is Vietnam
Let’s guarantee they’ll never see their senior prom!
I was meant to be yours
We were meant to be one
Don’t give up on me now
Finish what we’ve begun
I was mean to be yours
So when the high school gym goes boom with everyone inside—
Pchw! Pchw! Pchw!
In the rubble of their tomb
We’ll plant this note explaining why they died!
JD & STUDENTS:
We, the students of Westerburg High will die.
Our burnt bodies may finally get through to you.
Your society churns out slaves and blanks, no thanks.
Signed, the Students of Westerburg High.
Goodbye.
JD:
We’ll watch the smoke poor out the doors
Bring marshmallows,
We’ll make s’mores!
We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!
I was meant to be yours
We were meant to be one
I can’t make this alone
Finish what we’ve begun
You were meant to be mine
I am all that you need
You carved open my heart
Can’t just leave me to bleed
Veronica! Open the—open the door, please
Veronica! Open the door.
Veronica! Can we not fight anymore?
Please, can we not fight anymore?
Veronica, sure, you’re scared,
I’ve been there, I can set you free
Veronica, don’t make me come in there
I’m gonna count to three!
One! Two! Fuck it!
JD:
Oh my God! No! Veronica!
Please don’t leave me alone
You were all I could trust
I can’t do this alone
JD & STUDENTS:
Still I will if I must!
VERONICA’S MOM:
Veronica?
I brought you a snack.
Veronica?
AAAAAAHHHHH!
I float in a boat
In a raging black ocean
Low in the water
With nowhere to go
The tiniest lifeboat
With people I know
Cold, clammy, and crowded
The people smell desperate
We'll sink any minute
So someone must go
The tiniest lifeboat
With the people I know
Everyone's pushing
Everyone's fighting
Storms are approaching
There's nowhere to hide
If I say the wrong thing
Or I wear the wrong outfit
They'll throw me right over the side
I'm hugging my knees
And the captain is pointing
Well who made her captain?
Still, the weakest must go
The tiniest lifeboat
Full of people I know
The tiniest lifeboat
Full of people I know
J. D.:
Think, long and hard.
Conjure her up in your mind.
What would she say?
What’s her final statement
to a cold, uncaring planet?
VERONICA:
Dear World,
Believe it or not,
I knew about fear
I knew the way loneliness stung
I hid behind smiles
And crazy hot clothes
I learned to kiss boys with my tongue
But oh, the world it held me down
Uh, it weighed like a concrete prom queen crown
H. CHANDLER:
No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings
No one gets her insecurity
I am more than shoulder pads and makeup
No one sees the me inside of me
Jesus, you’re making me sound like air supply!
J. D.:
Keep going.
This has to be good enough to fool the cops.
COP #1:
Woah! Is it murder?
COP #2:
No, look. Here’s a suicide note.
VERONICA & H. CHANDLER:
They couldn’t see past my rock star mystique
They wouldn’t dare look in my eyes
VERONICA, H. CHANDLER, & COP #2:
But just underneath was a terrified girl
Who clings to her pillow and cries
My looks were just like prison bars
They’ve left me a myriad of scars
H. CHANDLER:
Myriad? Nice.
VERONICA, H. CHANDLER, & COPS:
No one thinks a pretty girl has substance
That’s the curse of popularity
COPS:
Popularity
COP #1:
I am more than just a source of hand jobs
VERONICA, H. CHANDLER, & COPS:
No one see the me inside of me
PRINCIPAL:
Heather Chandler’s not your everyday suicide…
COAH:
You should cancel classes.
PRINCIPAL:
No way, Coach.
I send the kids home before lunch,
and the switch board will light up like a Christmas tree.
MRS. FLEMING:
Our children are dying!
I suggest we get everyone into the cafeteria
and just talk and feel together.
PRINCIPAL:
Thank you, Mrs. Fleming.
Call me when the shuttle lands.
TEACHERS:
Hahahahahaha
MRS. FLEMING:
I’m telling you, we all misjudged Heather Chandler.
This is the loveliest suicide note I’ve ever read.
H. CHANDLER & MRS. FLEMING:
Box up my clothing for Goodwill
And give the poor my Nordic track
Donate my car to crippled kids
Or to those ghetto moms on crack
Give them my hats and my CDs
My pumps, my flats, my three TVs
EVERYONE:
No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings
But I weep for all I failed to be, I failed to be
Maybe I can help the world by leaving
Maybe that’s the me inside of me
PRINCIPAL:
Aw, hell! Long weekend for everybody!
MRS. FLEMING:
Hey, not so fast kids!
They’re refueling the buses,
Which gives us a solid half hour of healing.
Now, I have mimeographed copies of the suicide note
So you all can feel Heather’s anguish.
GIRL:
I never knew about her pain.
MRS. FLEMING:
Go on.
BOY:
Her life had hit a rocky patch.
MRS. FLEMING:
Feel!
GIRL:
Deep down, she wasn’t cruel or vain.
MRS. FLEMING:
Heal!
STUDENTS:
She didn’t mean to be a snatch.
MRS. FLEMING:
Veronica you’re very quiet.
What’s on your mind?
VERONICA:
Uh, maybe Heather realized that in order to be happy,
She had to give up her power.
And the only way to do that was death.
MRS. FLEMING:
My God.
Look what we’ve done,
We’re breaking through.
Heather would be so proud of you!
STUDENTS:
And you, and you, and you, and you
EVERYONE:
No one thinks a pretty girl can touch you
GOTH CHICK:
Heather touching me
EVERYONE:
But she’s made us better and be heard
Heather’s dead, but she will live inside me
And I’ll be the me inside of her
MRS. FLEMING:
Holy crap! This is awesome!
EVERYONE:
Heather cried,
Our sins off her shoulders
MRS. FLEMING:
Jesus Christ!
EVERYONE:
Heather died so we could all be free
MRS. FLEMING:
I’m bigger than John Lennon!
EVERYONE:
Heather’s gone, but she will live forever
GIRL:
She’s the dove that sings outside my window
BOY:
She’s the twin from whom I’m separated
GIRL:
She’s the horse I never got for Christmas
EVERYONE:
Heather sees the me inside of me
Heather is the me inside of me
Inside of me!
VERONICA:
The demon queen of high school
Has decreed it
She says Monday, 8 am
I will be deleted
They’ll hunt me down in Study Hall
Stuff and mount me on the wall
Thirty hours to live
How shall I spend them?
I don’t have to stay and die like cattle
I could change my name and drive up to Seattle
But I don’t own a motor bike
Wait, here’s an option that I like
Spend these thirty hours getting’ freaky
Yeah!
I need it hard,
I’m a dead girl walking
I’m in your yard,
I’m a dead girl walking
Before they punch my clock,
I’m snappin’ off your window lock
Got no time to knock
I’m a dead girl walking
J. D.:
Veronica?
What are you doin’ in my room?
VERONICA:
Shhhhhh
Sorry, but I really had to wake you
See, I’ve decided
I must ride you ‘till I break you
‘Cause Heather says I gotsta go
You’re my last meal on Death Row
Shut your mouth
And lose them tighty whiteys
Come on!
Tonight I’m yours!
I’m your dead girl walking
Get on all fours
Kiss this dead girl walking
Let’s go, you know the drill
I’m hot, and pissed
And of the pill
Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking
And you know, you know, you know,
It’s cause you’re beautiful
You say you’re numb inside
But I can’t agree
So the world’s not fair?
Keep it locked out there
In here it’s beautiful
Let’s make this beautiful!
J. D.:
That works for me!
VERONICA:
Yeah!
Full steam ahead
Take this dead girl walking
J. D.:
How’d you find my address?
VERONICA:
Let’s break the bed
Rock this dead girl walking
J. D.:
I think we tore my mattress!
VERONICA:
No sleep tonight for you
Better chug that Mountain Dew
J. D.:
Okay, okay!
VERONICA:
Get your ass in gear
Make this whole town disappear
J. D.:
Okay, okay!
VERONICA: J. D.:
Slap me, pull my hair
Touch me there, there, and there There, there, and there
No more talking Woah!
Love this dead girl walking Woah, woah! Hey, hey!
Yeah, yeah!
Love this dead girl walking Love this dead girl
Woah, woah! Hey, hey!
Wait, wait!
Love this dead girl Love this dead girl
Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah
Ouch!
YEAH! YEAH!
KURT:
Dad says act our age
You heard the man,
It’s time to rage
STUDENTS:
Blast the bass
Turn out the lights
Ain’t nobody home tonight
RAM:
Drink, smoke, it’s all cool
Let’s get naked in my pool
STUDENTS:
Punch the wall and start a fight
Ain’t nobody home tonight
KURT:
His folks got a water bed
Come upstairs and rest your head
RAM:
Let’s rub each other’s backs
While watchin’ porn on Cinemax
STUDENTS:
Aaaaaaaah!
The folks are gone
It’s time for big fun
Big fun!
We’re up till dawn
Havin’ some big fun
Big fun!
When Mom and Dad forget
To lock the liquor cabinet
It’s big fun
Big fun!
Big fun!
VERONICA:
Okay, Okay, Okay,
So it’s salt, and then lime, and then shot.
H. MCNAMARA:
No, it’s salt, then sho—
H. CHANDLER:
You’re doing it wrong!
VERONICA:
Wait, really?
Cause I feel great!
RAM:
Veronica, you are lookin’ good tonight!
VERONICA:
Woah
A hot guy smiled at me
Without a trace of mockery
STUDENTS:
Everyone’s high a kite
Ain’t nobody home tonight
VERONICA:
Stoned, zoned, I should quit
Hey, is that weed?
I want a hit!
STUDENTS:
Fill that joint and roll it tight
Ain’t nobody home tonight
VERONICA:
Dreams are comin’ true
When people laugh
But not at you
I’m not alone
I’m not afraid
I feel like Bono at Live Aid
STUDENTS:
Aaaaaah!
The house is ours
It’s time for big fun
Big fun!
Let’s use the showers
That sounds like big fun
Big fun!
Crack open one more case
VERONICA:
I think that’s what they call third base
STUDENTS:
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
VERONICA:
That actually looks like
STUDENTS:
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Woo!
KURT:
Alright people, listen up!
What is Westerberg gonna do
to the Razorbacks at Sunday’s game?
RAM:
Gonna make ‘em go
Wee! Wee!
Wee! Wee!
STUDENTS:
Big fun!
Big fun!
H. DUKE:
Way to show maturity.
STUDENTS:
Big fun!
Big fun!
H. DUKE:
Quit it, jack ass.
Get off of me!
STUDENTS:
Big fun!
Big fun!
VERONICA:
Yo, Ram, emergency.
I just saw some freshmen sneaking over the pool fence.
RAM:
I hate freshman!
Where are you little pricks?
I’m comin’ for you!
VERONICA:
Hey, are you okay?
H. DUKE:
I didn’t need your help.
VERONICA:
Awwww! Thanks, Heather,
but I don’t really have to vomit right now.
STUDENTS:
The party’s hot, hot, hot!
It’s time for big fun
Big fun!
RAM:
You need a Jello shot
STUDENTS:
Were havin’ big fun
Big fun!
H. DUKE:
Martha Dumptruck in the flesh,
H. MCNAMARA:
Here comes the cootie squad!
H. DUKE:
You should—
H. CHANDLER:
Shut up, Heather!
H. DUKE:
Sorry, Heather.
H. MCNAMARA:
Look who’s with her.
Oh my god!
HEATHERS:
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
VERONICA:
I can’t believe you actually came.
MARTHA:
It’s exciting, right?
Oh, I wanna say hello to Ram.
I brought sparkling cider!
H. CHANDLER:
Showing up here took some guts
Time to rip ‘em out
H. DUKE:
Well who’s this pig remind you of?
Especially the snout!
HEATHERS:
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
RAM:
Where the hell are those freshmen?
MARTHA:
Hi, Ram. Uh, I wasn’t gonna come.
But since you took the time to write that sweet note—
RAM:
What note?
Why do you gotta be so weird all the time?
People wouldn’t hate you so much
if you acted normal.
*spits out sparkling cider*
There’s no alcohol in here!
Are you trying to poison me?
HEATHERS:
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang
Diggity-dang-a-dang!
STUDENTS:
The folks are gone
It’s time for big fun
Big fun!
We’re up till dawn
Havin’ some big fun
Big fun!
So let the speakers blow
They’ll buy another stereo
Our folks got no clue
‘Bout all the shit their children do
Why are they surprised whenever we’re unsupervised?
It’s big fun
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
I’ve been through ten high schools
They start to get blurry
No point planting roots
Cause you’re gone in a hurry
My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den
So it’s only a matter of when
I don’t learn the names
Don’t bother with faces
All I can trust is this concrete oasis
Seems every time I’m about to despair
There’s a 7/11 right there
Each store is the same from Los Vegas to Boston
Linoleum isles that I love to get lost in
I pray at my alter of slush
Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush
Freeze your brain
Suck on that straw
Get lost in the pain
Happiness comes when everything numbs
Who needs cocaine?
Freeze your brain
Freeze your brain
J. D.:
Care for a hit?
VERONICA:
Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
J. D.:
Not anymore.
When mom was alive
We lived half way normal
Now it’s just me and my dad
We’re less formal
I learned to cook pasta
I learned to pay rent
Learned the world doesn’t owe you a cent
You’re planning your future,
Veronica Sawyer
You’ll go to some college
And marry a lawyer
But the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls
So you’d better start building some walls
Freeze your brain
Swim in the ice
Get lost in the pain
Shut your eyes tight
‘Till you vanish from sight
Let nothing remain
Freeze your brain
Shatter your skull
Fight pain with more pain
Forget who you are
Unburden your load
Forget in six weeks
You’ll be back on the road
When the voice in your head
Says “You’re better off dead.”
Don’t open a vein
Just freeze your brain
Freeze your brain
Go on and freeze your brain
Try it
STUDENTS:
Holy shit! Holy shit!
Holy shit! Holy shit!
Holy shit! Holy shit!
Holy shit! Holy shit!
Holy shit!
VERONICA:
Why when you see boys fight
Does it look so horrible, yet
Feel so right?
I shouldn’t watch this crap
That’s not who I am
But with this kid,
Damn
Hey, Mr. No-Name-Kid
So who might you be?
And could you fight for me?
And hey,
Could you face the crowd?
Could you be seen with me
And still act proud?
Hey, could you hold my hand?
And could you carry me
Through No-Man’s Land?
It’s fine if you don’t agree
But I would fight for you
If you would fight for me
Let them drive us underground
I don’t care how far
You can set my broken bones
And I know CPR
Well, woah
You can punch real good
You’ve lasted longer than
I thought you would
So, hey, Mr. No-Name-Kid,
If some night you’re free
VERONICA: STUDENTS:
Wanna fight for me? Holy shit
If you’re still alive Holy shit
I would fight for you Holy shit, holy shit
If you would fight for me Holy shit, holy shit,
Holy shit, holy shit!
H. CHANDLER:
Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You’ve come so far,
Why now are you pulling on my dick?
I’d normally slap your face off,
And everyone here could watch.
But I’m feeling nice.
Here’s some advice.
Listen up, biotch!
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!
H. CHANDLER:
Lookin’ hot
Buying stuff they cannot
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!
H. CHANDLER:
Drinkin’ hard
Maxin’ Dad’s credit card
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!
H. CHANDLER:
Skippin’ gym
Scaring her
Screwing him
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!
H. CHANDLER:
Killer clothes
HEATHERS:
Kickin’ nerds in the nose!
H. CHANDLER:
If you lack the balls
You can go play dolls
Let your mommy fix you a snack
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Woah!
H. CHANDLER:
Or you could come smoke
Pound some rum and coke
In my Porsha with the quarterback
HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
It’s time for you to prove
You’re not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store
H. CHANDLER & H. MCNAMARA:
Guys fall
H. DUKE:
At your feet
Pay the check
H. MCNAMARA:
Help you cheat
HEATHERS:
All you
H. DUKE:
Have to do
H. CHANDLER:
Say goodbye to Shamoo
HEATHERS:
That freak’s
H. MCNAMARA:
Not your friend
I can tell in the end
HEATHERS:
If she
H. MCNAMARA:
Had your shot
HEATHERS:
She would leave you to rot
H. MCNAMARA:
‘Course if you don’t care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe Sesame Street is on
HEATHERS:
Woah!
H. MCNAMARA:
Or forget the creep
H. DUKE:
And get in my jeep
H. CHANDLER:
Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn
HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove
You’re not a pussy anymore
Then step into my candy store
H. CHANDLER:
You can join the team
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can bitch and moan
H. CHANDLER:
You can live the dream
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can die alone
H. CHANDLER:
You can fly with eagles
HEATHERS:
Or if you prefer
H. CHANDLER:
Keep on testing me
H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
And end up like her!
MARTHA:
Veronica, look!
Ram invited me to his homecoming party.
This proves he’s been thinking about me.
VERONICA:
Color me stoked.
MARTHA:
I’m so happy!
HEATHERS:
Woah!
H. DUKE:
Honey, whachu waiting fo—
H. CHANDLER: H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Step into my candy store! Time for you to prove
Oooh woah! Woah oh oh! You’re not a lame ass anymore
Then step into my candy store
HEATHERS:
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store
There was a boy I met in kindergarten
He was sweet, he said that I was smart
He was good at sports and people liked him
And at nap time once, we shared a mat
I didn’t sleep, I sat and watched him breathing
Watched him dream for nearly half an hour
Oooooooh, then he woke up
He pulled a scab off one time playing kickball
Kissed me quick and pressed it in my hand
I took that scab and put it in a locket
All year long I wore it near my heart
He didn’t care if I was thin or pretty
And he was mine until we hit first grade
Oooooooh, then he woke up
Last night I dreamed a horse with wings
Flew down into my homeroom
On its back there he sat
And he held out his arm
So we sailed above the gym
Across the faculty parking lot
My kindergarten boyfriend and I
And a horse with wings
Now we’re all grown up and we know better
Now we recognize the way things are
Certain boys are just for kindergarten
Certain girls are meant to be alone
But I believe that any dream worth having
Is a dream that should not have to end
So I’ll build a dream that I can live in
And this time I’m never waking up
And we’ll soar above the trees
Over cars and croquet lawns
Past the church and the lake
And the tri-county mall
We will fly through the dawn
To a new kindergarten
Where nap time is centuries long
Ooooooh, oooooh, oooooooh, oooh