Uploaded January 2026 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago
Most people assume charisma is about being funny or outgoing, but that mindset is exactly why smart, capable people keep getting overlooked. In reality, people decide whether they trust and believe you in seconds, and the signals you are sending might be working against you.
We dive deeper into this in the episode with Vanessa Van Edwards. We chat about why competence without warmth backfires, how under-signaling on online meetings makes you seem less trustworthy, and the subtle cues that quietly determine whether people take you seriously.
Vanessa Van Edwards is a bestselling author, international speaker, and creator of People School. She is an instructor at Harvard University and has taught communication science to millions of students worldwide. Her work has been featured on CNN, BBC, and the Today Show, and her books have been translated into 17 languages.
This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where we revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared.
What We Discuss:
(00:41) The two questions people subconsciously ask the moment they meet you
(07:33) Why competence without warmth makes people distrust you
(10:08) What happens when you are seen as “too nice” and not taken seriously
(15:46) Why smart people fail to sell good ideas without emotional buy-in
(16:42) How under-signaling and “being unreadable” backfires on video calls
(18:55) The role of oxytocin and dopamine in building connection and motivation
(21:52) The first 10 words that dramatically increase engagement on Zoom
(30:15) What your handshake reveals about confidence and dominance
(48:00) The impact of genuine vs. fake smiles on trust and perception
(54:07) How communication cues change in digital spaces like email and texting
Thank you to our sponsors:
Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off
Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers.
Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off
Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order
Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use the code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift.
Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen
Find more from Jen:
Website: jennifercohen.com
Instagram: @therealjencohen
Books: jennifercohen.com/books
Speaking: jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement
Find more from Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: www.vanessa.blog
Instagram: @vvanedwards
Youtube: @vvanedwards
Tiktok: @vvanedwards
Facebook: @vvanedwards
X: @vvanedwards
Most people assume charisma is about being funny or outgoing, but that mindset is exactly why smart, capable people keep getting overlooked. In reality, people decide whether they trust and believe you in seconds, and the signals you are sending might be working against you.
We dive deeper into this in the episode with Vanessa Van Edwards. We chat about why competence without warmth backfires, how under-signaling on online meetings makes you seem less trustworthy, and the subtle cues that quietly determine whether people take you seriously.
Vanessa Van Edwards is a bestselling author, international speaker, and creator of People School. She is an instructor at Harvard University and has taught communication science to millions of students worldwide. Her work has been featured on CNN, BBC, and the Today Show, and her books have been translated into 17 languages.
This episode is part of The Best of Habits & Hustle, a series where we revisit some of the most impactful conversations we’ve shared.
What We Discuss:
(00:41) The two questions people subconsciously ask the moment they meet you
(07:33) Why competence without warmth makes people distrust you
(10:08) What happens when you are seen as “too nice” and not taken seriously
(15:46) Why smart people fail to sell good ideas without emotional buy-in
(16:42) How under-signaling and “being unreadable” backfires on video calls
(18:55) The role of oxytocin and dopamine in building connection and motivation
(21:52) The first 10 words that dramatically increase engagement on Zoom
(30:15) What your handshake reveals about confidence and dominance
(48:00) The impact of genuine vs. fake smiles on trust and perception
(54:07) How communication cues change in digital spaces like email and texting
Thank you to our sponsors:
Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off
Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers.
Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off
Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order
Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use the code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift.
Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen
Find more from Jen:
Website: jennifercohen.com
Instagram: @therealjencohen
Books: jennifercohen.com/books
Speaking: jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement
Find more from Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: www.vanessa.blog
Instagram: @vvanedwards
Youtube: @vvanedwards
Tiktok: @vvanedwards
Facebook: @vvanedwards
X: @vvanedwards
