illneas
Do not Stand at my Grave and Weep
updated
Special thanks to Artemis, Noemi, Robin, Dagmar, Eirini, Simos, Elisa, Catarina, Ibrahim, Oyku, Giorgos, Kostas, Periklis, Gnostotheridis, Lama, Jan, Youssef, Rui, Konstantina and many more for allowing me to film them.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=DChjB-1cT7qYDXH6psbOaA
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness (she also makes music and it's pretty cool, her insta @inessjmusic)
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music is this:
Distance by prodbyIOF
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Advice For Your Twenties by illneas
You know, you are not as weird as you think
Also, you are not as sophisticated
But if you can make someone happy
It doesn't matter
I know the wounds don't fade as quickly as you wished but someone will love you regardless
If you feel unable to open up wait till you meet that person
You will be ok
Brush your teeth every morning while you try to step on her toes
I know the bitterness still echoes and you are unable to hide it
Remember that you can forgive them and still hold them accountable
Watch her breathe silently
Watch her shadow touch the walls of your room
Sometimes you have to get outside of your head to leave room for healthier thoughts
It will take time to understand yourself
But If people feel loved around you
then one day you will love yourself as well
Hold on to the carelessness for a little longer
Let novelty linger for a while
Don't let them take it away from you
Ask stupid questions
Cry to cliche romantic movies
Don't take yourself too seriously
Outsmart the paradox of the human condition
I wish you could see your eyes when you spoke your truth
Enjoy the time you spend alone
You will be your only friend sometimes
Explore ideas and ridicule the concept of our finite existence
Pause,
And listen to the sounds around you
Stay still,
And observe the colors making patterns
This world has a certain rhyme beneath the chaos
This absurd little planet has room even for you
It was here before you
And it will continue to orbit the sun long after you are gone
And trust me,
It's beautiful
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=DChjB-1cT7qYDXH6psbOaA
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
twitter.com/Tyleross_
-The music is this:
open.spotify.com/track/4H21q5JUcuUg4KihDfUSzK?si=558e8c9006fa4c7d
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Don't Worry by illneas
My dear, do you hear their voice?
It's the kid inside of them gasping for another breath
Let them talk about you
Let them redefine you
If you won't let them hurt you,
They will never understand you
My friend, do they know who you are?
Do they know who they want you to be?
Let them categorize you
Let them blame you
Let them demonize you
As if you created the darkness you talk about
Focus on carving your diary on your body
Let each brush stroke begin with your truth and end with their insecurities
So if they decide to burn you, their demons will burn with you
Do you want to be remembered?
Do you want your ending to mean something to them?
Does the dust of this world ever feel your presence?
Why do you want the same fate?
They told you that history is always written by the winners
And yet the stories that shaped you are by those who never surrendered
My dear, the warmth of each surviving second was created just for you
And the purpose of your soul is determined only by you
bit.ly/3wpAHO7
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=DChjB-1cT7qYDXH6psbOaA
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The thumbnail is a painting by Jen Mazza
jenmazza.com
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
instagram.com/melissa_melicious
youtube.com/channel/UCm6gUUGanHZ6xYJYY0o-Ltg
-The music is this:
LO.OSE - Summer Depression
open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy9xKQfI53K7TKSUA8o?si=G8VjNBcSTCqhMbpc1TKIIg
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Hard To Love by illneas
I remember feeling happy when I was folding your clothes
The shadow of my fingers tracing my unfinished dreams in the morning sun
I remember a broken candle from a past birthday,
A confetti piece from your graduation,
A picture of you with your mother
I remember you telling me to open up and heal
I use my heartstrings to stitch my mouth and I scream in artistic expression
I remember you trying to find the courage to kiss me
Just to share the metallic taste of blood on my lips
I remember that summer
Your fingers scribbling poems on my back
I remember feeling happy with the salt on my skin
It's impossible to feel ugly with your invisible ink on my body
I remember you begging me to go to therapy
While I was bending ideas to justify my ego
Thinking the canvas of life could be manipulated by the world's smartest idiot
I remember watching you petting cats
It's impossible to feel sad with a cat between your legs
I remember talking to you about the poems I never wrote
Poetry seems pointless when you know me that well
I remember laughing at your silly comments
I remember that night
Telling me that you are afraid of change
I remember when I told you that I need to distance myself from you
I remember your eyes
You looked away to hide your vulnerability from me
I can't forget that silence
You think I have a broken heart
While I'm sure I'm just a broken person
You think I hide behind my poems
While I'm trying to convince myself that I exist
You think I lost myself in the maze of my memories
While I'm afraid of forgetting how it feels to fold your clothes
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music was created by Mayday
https://linktr.ee/maydaymusic18
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰I don't wanna be here by illneas
Poetry
Existentialism
And your eyes that reflect the worlds you saw
You said "coming with me is a decision"
Even though we both know that the chemical reactions in my head
won't allow me to choose
Programmed by my upbringing I deluded myself that free will exists
Temptations masquerade themselves as feelings and
words cut like razors through my skin
The unexamined life is not worth living
However, I have trouble sleeping at night
I need to get out of this place
But the stubborn illusion of fate won't leave me alone
Why am I thinking like this?
Dilated pupils
Short breaths
And the audacity to try and quantify my feelings
I tend to lose the point in-between
This is maybe why I need you
I remind myself that life is about perspective
And my feelings are the result of a story I told myself
Or maybe you told me to tell myself
Words masquerade themselves as feelings and
temptations cut like razors through my skin
What about you?
Do you just feel things?
Like all the other humans we used to mock?
Do you just act based on your emotions?
If I knew the exact reasons I feel this way about you
Would I still feel this way?
If I don't care about what you think of me
Then why does it hurt so much?
The chaos around me
Is tired of me trying to figure it out
And patterns start to emerge through the shadows
I'm lost somewhere between
Poetry
Existentialism
And your eyes that reflect the worlds you saw
Maybe they also reflect the worlds ahead of you
all I know is that
"I don't want to be here anymore"
You smiled and said
"then come with me"
Inspiration by the lovely and talented Meggie Royer
twloha.tumblr.com/post/134621968727
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is sheeta
instagram.com/shee.taa
open.spotify.com/artist/6lYCZWHWYw01ZcpAn8tD3o?si=Q4R4-KmGRHmOX4HCav6W5g&nd=1-
The music was created by Wouter
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰I wanted to talk with you but I have social anxiety. by illneas
At least I'm still breathing
It's ok
you can remain perfect
in the fog of uncertainty
my anxiety won't allow me to meet you
Please ignore the glimpses of perfect laughter
through the cracks of this unlived reality
In the meantime
I will daydream
about vacations, we will never go on
I will imagine
conversations we will never have
I will fantasize
about the day you will save me
and maybe about the day that you will convince me that I saved myself
It's actually funny
because if I talked to you
we could finish this poem together
For now, I'm watching these alternative realities diverging violently
I remain oblivious to your imperfections
I remain trapped in my own life
I remain a stranger
And you unwillingly created
another reason to hate myself
but at least
I'm still breathing
This video was filmed on a short movie set, special thanks to these people for inviting me and allowing me to film their work and themselves.
instagram.com/eleniekonomidou
instagram.com/constant__inos
instagram.com/andromachib
instagram.com/5__1__2
instagram.com/nikolina.t
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Wardnun Sootslayer
instagram.com/wardnunsootslayer
-The music was created by IOF
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Blink And You Will Miss It by illneas
Only the time traveler who fell in love with his past is truly present
He glances at things he has already seen
and stands on steps he has already walked
Without the anxiety roar in the background of his thoughts
He learns to truly live each moment
He is an actor who has read the script
and knows each word you will say to him
You can't truly hurt him
You can't truly love him
He stands like a hologram you can touch
like a passenger in a human body
Without the terror of alternate endings,
he starts to notice the unnoticed
the exact angle of the sun that enters your bedroom each season
your smell on his clothes when you wear them
the tiny waves your breath makes when you drink coffee with him
He knows that life is only lived during a tragedy or in anticipation of one
So when it's time he will know
He will embrace you and he will cry with you
The time-traveler who fell in love with his past breathes in one reality
He embraces the simplicity of his dead ends
He loves one person and he lives one life
He relives his misfortunes and feels grateful
Despite knowing the end
He awaits the next chapter
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Ricci
instagram.com/itz.ricci
-The music was created by Libys
open.spotify.com/artist/7FUxLkwKbV3eoAgLUkzDXo?si=Sjc6tfF5SlCFq2AVwnyzbg
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Do You Still Practice Smiling In The Mirror? by illneas
Do you still practice smiling in the mirror?
You never quite got it right
You wrote poems about love, spiderwebs, and your chattering teeth
About the endless horizon in someone's eyes and the gravitational pull on your heart
You learned you can be replaced while you were staring at your own reflection
With each breath, you hoped the mirror would shatter in front of you
Sounding like a standing ovation to your best effort
Like an epilogue to your act
On days like these
We can't make a metaphor about your soul and the fragility of glass
And I'm truly afraid you know how to use a broken mirror
On days like these
The courage to write the poem about the days you never lived
Can only be found in the hug of a friend you never had
We still practice smiling in the mirror
Because this is what we do
We practice
We write poems about death,
Our friends
And our chattering teeth
You might say a broken mirror can still reflect
Like a metaphor about the resiliency of our existence
But we can't make metaphors anymore
On days like these
We breathe
We break
And get replaced
There isn't anything left to say
Just smile and pick up the pieces
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
instagram.com/melissa_melicious
youtube.com/channel/UCm6gUUGanHZ6xYJYY0o-Ltg
-The music was created by LOO.SE
open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy9xKQfI53K7TKSUA8o?si=jlAtNUIWSQeaLGMHUsWiXA
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰The Last Poem On Earth by illneas
Do the ghosts get sad when you give away their clothes?
Do they miss the ability to wear their favorite color?
Each word carries weight you said
Adjusting the trajectory of your life
one sentence at the time
Do the ghosts die little by little as you move on?
Is it possible to transform a person into an idea and remain human?
Maybe each silence carries weight as well
Do the ghosts haunt us or do we haunt them?
Do they watch the world leaving them behind like they never existed?
Do they even care?
Your friend,
your sister,
your parent,
or your child
Are unable to talk with you
Do they even have anything to say?
Do they owe you a final word?
they watch you as you grow up
they observe your tiny movements as you fall in love
and hold your hand when you need them to
Or at least these stories make the pain go away
When the skies above me spoke
I was told to listen
But for now, only stillness is kind to me
When the empty corridors seemed way too dark
I was told to believe in the light
But I only want to stare at you in the darkness
our words
our pauses
or our ideas
cannot make the ghosts sad
because the invisible don't need colors to be beautiful
And if I accept that
I might remain human
A blasphemous prayer about happiness and the abyss, a journey within us mentioning the intricacies I find interesting while leaving out the noise of dogmatism. An imperfect poem that will be forgotten from all minds except the ones that treat humans with the respect a complete being deserves.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music was created by prodbyIOF
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰For Those Who Can't Feel Happiness by illneas
Like a prisoner behind bars, you will see her eyes
Trapped beneath the surface of the poem you write,
she shivers
She comes uninvited
and leaves without a warning
Like an optical illusion, she appears and disappears
Like a coincidence only you know how to understand
The feeling she gave you stays
despite the darkness of your heart that tries to erase it
Those who are searching for her
are doomed to never find her
And those who stopped searching,
need her the most
The rest of us stand in-between,
the need to hold her again,
and the need to forget she ever existed
We create prisons of art
and display her proudly to the world,
pretending we are fine without her smile
One day she will escape from the confinement you designed for her
The moment you feel everything around you with the same intensity
as her presence
When you cry and despite the pain
you feel lucky for each gasping breath
When you feel broken
but somehow find the courage to observe the pain of others
She will realize that the canvases,
the melodies,
or anything you put your soul into
cannot fully describe her
She will take that phantom step into the real world
with chains still on her wrists
Just to observe you cry
Just to touch your scars
You will stand on the edge of the abyss
ready to jump
Without saying a word
Like your prisoner
she will approach you, uninvited
and before she leaves without a warning
You will glimpse
that painfully beautiful thing called
happiness
All the artwork featured was created by instagram.com/kungfudi3033
(go tell her how talented she is)
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Wardnun Sootslayer
instagram.com/wardnunsootslayer
-The music was created by Johatsu
open.spotify.com/artist/7rWvQbNjHkw0fdEudgiydV?si=KJZ8HqTPRz-d4m5SzH2yyA&utm_source=copy-link
youtu.be/fXWXwXnbr5Q
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Before You Judge Someone by illneas
If we wrote a poem about your childhood
could we go and live there?
A poem about lost balls
toy soldiers
and endless summers
If you are afraid of growing up
we can hide in a verse about morning cartoons and cereal
If you hate your job
we can play hide
and never actually seek
When you feel lonely
you can live again your coziest snow day
Let's write a verse about how much we hate adults
and let's hope that time stops
Let's write about boys that know how to feel
and girls that don't wear pink
until the illusion of identity shatters like our dreams
This poem isn't about regrets
or wasted potential
This poem is our new home
with pillows from your sofa
With verses about hugs and your friends
Let's write a verse about the times you cried
and how it shaped you
Let's create stories about bravery and bruises
and how the bullies of the world
will always be afraid to look you in the eyes
Let's live in a poem about old bikes
scraped knees
first kisses
and forgotten lullabies
Childhood was never about carelessness
or unlimited possibilities
Just the ability to make kinder worlds
If we wrote a poem about a stranger's childhood, would you go and live there?
you might write about friendless mornings
or wasted potential
Lines about unrequited love
Maybe you'll have to rhyme violence with innocence
Can you create metaphors about visible and invisible scars?
The smell of alcohol and the echoes of screams
Be prepared to write verses about death
or verses about rape
Your story might include first breaths in the war
Or last breaths anywhere in the world
Bear in mind that you might write about the broken
that became worst than their parents
Or about the broken that never met their parents
We design societies about fairness and balance
but we seem to forget that our adulthood
is affecting someone else's childhood
We walk this earth convinced this game will never be fair
even though we never tried to fix it
But between the horror and the tenderness
There are the few people that were dealt a bad hand
and managed to change the narrative
The people that refused to become bitter
when everyone expected them to
The brave souls that created something out of nothing
We are in this together but each one of us is playing a very different game
Some people carry heavy shadows
Some people play against greater odds than you
and win
These people when they smile
the universe smiles with them
Before you judge someone,
think about that
Special thanks to Art and Manu for inviting me to their set and allowing me to film their characters.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
instagram.com/melissa_melicious
youtube.com/channel/UCm6gUUGanHZ6xYJYY0o-Ltg
-The music was created by LOO.SE
open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy9xKQfI53K7TKSUA8o?si=jlAtNUIWSQeaLGMHUsWiXA
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Remember You Are Not Alone by illneas
I want to enter your mind
and experience the frequencies of the world the way you do
light,
vibrations,
chemical signals in your head
chaos,
order,
and then chaos again
Is the silence of this room that deafening?
or not loud enough
Is the emptiness you feel comforting?
or unbearable
I want to feel what you felt
when you told me that you wanted to kill yourself
The time in our heads is quite lonely
so I thought you could use a friend
If the visible spectrum is too narrow to find any beauty
Let's paint the sea red
So we can talk about wavelengths under a pink sky
If the air oscillations are too violent
to be deemed melodies
Let's dance with the noise
and let's cry in silence
If you wish you were an invisible artist
Let's disappear in the light
And let's write poetry in complete darkness
I'm not saying it's a matter of perspective
but sunsets were meant to be viewed
I'm not saying it gets better
but we could go and pet some cats
I'm not saying this poem gets you
but it doesn't have to
It's just that this world is
light,
vibrations,
and the signals in your heads
It's love,
death,
and then love again
frequencies,
memories,
and maybe some bad thoughts
Please remember you are not alone
Also sending love to the people that allowed me to film them for this video: Anil, Nevra, Miguel, Filipa, Hunor, Muberra
A few inspiration credits for this poem
-The poem "Love at First Sight" by Wislawa Szymborska
-And the line "dear stranger" from the awesome movement @jaytheauthor is a part of
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
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Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music was created by Libys
open.spotify.com/artist/7FUxLkwKbV3eoAgLUkzDXo?si=Sjc6tfF5SlCFq2AVwnyzbg
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
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GX80
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📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
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🔰For Those Who Can't Find True Love by illneas
Dear stranger
Let's pretend that we have known each other since we were kids
Let's pretend that this is the truth
Let's pretend that each scar on my body
has a story including you
Let's fill the decades in-between
with lies
and false memories
Let's pretend that the universe isn't chaotic
And every particle that has touched me
may have touched you too
Let's pretend that this is the truth
Maybe we bumped shoulders on a crosswalk
three years ago
Maybe you felt my warmth on a doorknob
last week
Maybe we once visited the same dream
Let's pretend that my sadness
isn't visible in the way I move
Let's pretend that you aren't scared
to show your emotions
Let's pretend we aren't afraid
just alone
Let's pretend we aren't cold
just untouched
Let's pretend that this isn't a delusion
just a new perspective
Let's pretend that we have known each other since we were kids
Let's pretend that this is the truth
When you are gone,
I won't feel sad,
just empty
Dear stranger,
I'm unhappy
And If I could find happiness in poetry
I would use your name here
Let's pretend I just did
I've been working on this poem for quite some time because I was searching for the correct story to carry this feeling of "endings and beginnings". The final story that seemed appropriate was this of 2 people that can communicate without language and can understand each other on a deeper level. I hope you enjoy the softness of the final result and the intricacies of human nature that I humbly tried to capture and present.
P.S. This wouldn't be possible without my friend and the stray cats that she pets.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
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Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
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-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
instagram.com/melissa_melicious
youtube.com/channel/UCm6gUUGanHZ6xYJYY0o-Ltg
-The music is this:
LO.OSE - Fragile Feeling
open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy9xKQfI53K7TKSUA8o?si=G8VjNBcSTCqhMbpc1TKIIg
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰If I Die Tomorrow by illneas
If this was my last day with you
I would silently observe the reflection of this room in your eyes
Hoping to feel present for the first time
If this was my last day here
I would break the glass resting on my skin
That invisibly separates me from this world
And from you
If this was my last day with you
I wouldn't tell you
I would talk to you about my half-finished poems
As if I had the courage to write again
Hoping someday you will finish them
While you might be searching for me
Between the lines
Or trying to forget me
If you notice my voice shaking
While talking to you
Try to ignore it
If you notice my eyes getting blurry
Find comfort in your sudden disappearance
And wait for gravity to reveal you again
If I die tomorrow
I would finally realize that the ambient pain
Is another proof that I'm still alive
You know
I know
The fragility of everything
The fragility of me
I know
You know
That as the sunset approaches
Every time you smile
I die a little bit
I'm sorry
I haven't touched you enough
You see, I can only say "I love you"
In silence
You might be angry with me
For hiding it from you
But all I wanted
was another normal day with you
If I don't die tomorrow
I will live as if I could
Forever Humbled,
A kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
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🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=DChjB-1cT7qYDXH6psbOaA
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
twitter.com/Tyleross_
-The music is this:
open.spotify.com/track/15ZGKRywr9SwYVqOeaFAMI?si=hs8uWAasSBKTgfcs0JwzdQ&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
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GX80
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📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
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🔰I'm Here Even Though I Hate Myself by illneas
I'm lost
I'm imperfect
one person in the endless echo of the universe
waiting to be forgotten
I'm insignificant
I'm imperfect
I'm the face you ignored today
that your unconscious mind will use to populate a dream
I'm not an artist
I'm imperfect
I'm gathering dust on a digital shelf
while fading from your mind
I'm isolated
I'm imperfect
And if you can feel my words you might help me defeat my loneliness
or at least numb my emotions
I'm still here
even though I hate myself
because the courage in my heart will always be a paradox
I'm guarding my thin slice of paradise between old buildings
and the dreams that never became true
the purpose of my life is limited by the painful beauty of my freedom
and exists because of it
I'm the sum total of my mistakes
and If you see any beauty in that
it is because I found the strength to own them
I'm still lost
I'm still imperfect
I'm still here
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
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🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=DChjB-1cT7qYDXH6psbOaA
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music is this:
Midtro - Homeland
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
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🔰Loving Me When I Can't Love Myself by illneas
At first
it was the sound of your voice
and the way it seemed you were hiding something
While you were sleeping I noticed your anxious breathing
but I didn't say anything
The hardest part of loving them
when they can't love themselves
Is accepting your inability to always make them happy
I know that something is bothering you
but I chose to ignore it
The hardest part of loving them
when they can't love themselves
Is letting them find happiness
in the absence of you
I noticed that each smile seems
more forced than the last
The hardest part of loving you
when you can't love yourself
Is convincing you
that this is not affecting me
You asked me to let you deal with it yourself
The hardest part of loving you
when you can't love me
Is hiding from you
that something is bothering me
While I was sleeping you noticed my anxious breathing
but you didn't say anything
You know that something is wrong
but you chose to ignore it
Each of my smiles seems more forced than the last one
The hardest part of loving me
when I can't love myself
Is knowing that
I would do the same for you
Forever Humbled,
A kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
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🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
twitter.com/Tyleross_
-The music
Libys - Η Γη είναι ένα κρύο νεκρό μέρος
open.spotify.com/track/2RpcoO5K68irxNiRHVLvpy?si=e3688f573c694908
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰The Moment I Stopped Hating Myself by illneas
Dear Past Self,
before you give up,
look at yourself in the mirror without the illusion of time
Look as if the distance between us
could be counted in fading scars,
not seconds
Before you abandon hope, remember that being enough,
has less to do with who you are,
and more with who you could be
Before you give in to the voices in your head,
I need to tell you that your ideas will never silence
So try to reshape them,
let them radiate through you
Before you become bitter with people,
Understand that loneliness is nothing compared to unshared happiness
The world is full of beautiful people
in the most unexpected ways,
so learn to trust them
Sometimes I wish you could see yourself through my eyes
And then I realize that you will
For now, stare into the mirror in front of you
as if you could realize that imperfection is another human construct
And if you still want to give up
If you still want to give in to those voices
if you still go to bed hoping that you will never wake up
Place your hand on your heart
and feel the blood inside of us
Let each breath carry you into the future
until we become one
I assure you,
it gets better
And even if you disagree with me,
keep in mind that
I will always be proud of you
Forever Humbled,
A kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
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🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
instagram.com/melissa_melicious
youtube.com/channel/UCm6gUUGanHZ6xYJYY0o-Ltg
-The music
LO.OSE - Purple Sunray
open.spotify.com/track/6JJD8ckHJK37cpMxnsln4V?si=fa421ac3d7994e69
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
A Poem For Artists by illneas
"Where do ideas come from" I wondered
and you whispered in my ear
"If I told you it wouldn't be art"
At which point the words in my head become breaths
How can I look you in the eyes and not be blinded?
I'm supposed to let you enter my dreams but love is something you will never truly feel
You left a note in my home saying
"I will try to stay here but your ideas are constantly on fire"
I told you
"The human soul is constantly on fire"
I'm feeling as if I'm entering rooms where you just left
It seems like the word "inspiration" was created just to describe the lack of it,
and empty space around me was created to describe the absence of you
With your hand on my shoulder, you whispered once again
"If you could understand it wouldn't be art"
And I sensed that you smiled as a human would smile
Maybe not thinking about you will bring me closer to you
But that would mean I accept my inability to understand you
So now I'm talking directly to you, my love
You will always remain a part of me but divine intervention is not required for my ideas to come to life
I confess to you in the most blasphemous and loving way
A kind heart is enough for my art
However, having you around helps me love myself a bit more
Forever Humbled,
A kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
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🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
twitter.com/Tyleross_
-The music
LO.OSE - Never Ending Dream
open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy9xKQfI53K7TKSUA8o?si=6T_vlkqiTWuFfLATgN3Spw
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Death, You Are More Cursed Than Me by illneas
Death, if you must take me,
take me knowing that you are more cursed than me.
your dead eyes will never feel the gravity of a tear
and you will never feel pain like a human.
You will never understand that the beauty of this world is a result of you.
Oh, great enemy, you will defeat me in the end
but defeat me knowing there is beauty in tragedy.
As the time is melting away and you steal each second from me,
you make the rest more valuable.
maybe welcoming my finite existence makes you powerless against me
you will never understand the fear of death, the fear of you
and if you did, you wouldn't have the courage to accept the burden of a mortal life
you are the shadow in all our hearts
and then again our smiles are a dim light refusing to let go
you are the definition of fear
but the mirroring of your cape in the eyes of those closest to you
makes us less afraid of you
The world is not a beautiful place,
but the weight of your image in my head allows me to move forwards
Before each step towards the end, I can feel your breath on me
but I won't give up
and even if you must transform my future into a drawing in a hospital room
do it knowing,
you are more cursed than me
Forever Humbled,
A kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
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🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=hyG3S2oXTH-7HW_pIsH_zw
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Melissa Varela
instagram.com/melissa_melicious
youtube.com/channel/UCm6gUUGanHZ6xYJYY0o-Ltg
-The music
LO.OSE - I'm Still Here
open.spotify.com/artist/6O4Oy9xKQfI53K7TKSUA8o?si=G8VjNBcSTCqhMbpc1TKIIg
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰This is Goodbye Beautiful Human by illneas
If I was in the library of your mind for a while,
I would place the smell of coffee next to the memory of you learning how to ride the bicycle
So you would remember that you have to start in order to find your balance
I would erase the feeling of sunlight on your skin
So you would experience it again for the first time
I would help you blur the mental image of your self-imposed imperfections
Because feeling beautiful is a decision.
Maybe tamper with the spelling of your name,
Just to mess with you.
I realized that our existence can only be mirrored in the minds of others
And my favorite reflection was in yours.
So I won't touch your memory of me.
But I would selfishly hide a tiny piece of my laugh into your favorite song,
So you would remember my stupid jokes
And maybe laugh alone like the weirdo you are.
I won't read any of the things you didn't tell me about you,
I promise
This is goodbye, oh beautiful human
But before I disappear from your head,
Ι would immerse myself into the deepest shadows of your unconscious mind.
And I would hide these lines into your nightmares,
So the next time you face your demons
You might think that someone loved you.
Forever Humbled,
A kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
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Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
-The music
LO.OSE - Cover Of The White Wall
open.spotify.com/track/7stLp0NmYJHKNxCsQLoT91?si=97da365f15b04f68
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A Poem To A Friend With Depression by illneas
Where did you hide your smile?
Is it beneath your tongue or did you hide it on a drawing you made years ago?
Is it trapped behind the glass of a framed picture or did you hide it in a shoebox under your bed?
where you keep all those objects... ticket stubs, poems, pebbles from the seaside we visited
I wish you left your room more often or at least you allowed me to visit you
You said "the odyssey of our lives could be more than an oscillation between the things we didn't choose"
Therefore I shouldn't worry about you
When we were kids you used to give all your favorite toys away and I thought maybe this is what happened to your smile
You simply gave it away
I asked your parents about it and they told me that they did everything they could
I asked your friends about it and they told me it's impossible to help a friend with depression
You used to gift your smile to everyone so proudly until the day you didn't
The memory of you radiating happiness is fading
The best poems are hidden under a bed in a shoebox
maybe like your smile
Yesterday a stranger smiled at me
I smiled back at them
And for some reason, I knew
Dear Friend,
I wrote this poem to tell you
that I found your smile
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music is this:
LO.OSE - Mirror Self
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰How To Love On Social Media by illneas
An out of focus figure behind my coffee steam softly touching my childhood wounds
A half-empty bed and gentle touches on a bright glass hoping my touch could be felt through it
how was your day?
did we accidentally eat the same food?
Is your dog beside you right now?
I think I fell in love with a stranger that kind of looked like you today but something doesn't feel right
These screens may carry our whispers but they cannot feel what it means to be present and absent at the same time.
These keyboards may translate soft taps into words but they will never feel what it means to be truly untouched
Information streams may carry invisible data but they will never experience the blood in our veins that rushes to our cheeks and makes them blush.
I'm haunting the cage of my existence
and you are unable to cast a shadow here
I told you "promises are pointless" but I lied
So when the soundwaves of our voices meet in the same room
When we cast a shadow under the same sun
When the word "distance" in the term "distance relationship" becomes obsolete
Turn off your phone and look me in the eyes
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
-The music is this:
Overcome - Megan Wofford
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰The Proof Of Worth by Edgar Albert Guest
Though victory's proof of the skill you possess,
Defeat is the proof of your grit;
A weakling can smile in his days of success,
But at trouble's first sign he will quit.
So the test of the heart and the test of your pluck
Isn't skies that are sunny and fair,
But how do you stand to the blow that is struck
And how do you battle despair?
A fool can seem wise when the pathway is clear
And it's easy to see the way out,
But the test of man's judgment is something to fear,
And what does he do when in doubt?
And the proof of his faith is the courage he shows
When sorrows lie deep in his breast;
It's the way that he suffers the griefs that he knows
That brings out his worst or his best.
The test of a man is how much he will bear
For a cause which he knows to be right,
How long will he stand in the depths of despair,
How much will he suffer and fight?
There are many to serve when the victory's near
And few are the hurts to be borne,
But it calls for a leader of courage to cheer
The men in a battle forlorn.
It's the way you hold out against odds that are great
That proves what your courage is worth,
It's the way that you stand to the bruises of fate
That shows up your stature and girth.
And victory's nothing but proof of your skill,
Veneered with a glory that's thin,
Unless it is proof of unfaltering will,
And unless you have suffered to win.
🔗facebook.com/MeggieRoyerPoetry
🔗writingsforwinter.tumblr.com/post/54484155702/for-twenty-year-olds-who-have-never-been-loved
I hope this video helps people feel a little less alone and a little more hopeful about the future. I want to add that it's truly a privilege to combine Meggie Royer's poems with my passion of capturing the things around me, I urge you to check more of her work because it's truly amazing. Lastly, the people on the video are my friends and I thank them for allowing me to film them.
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music is this:
Declaration - Johannes Bornlof
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
Thanks to Chubbz for helping me with the audio
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰for twenty-year-olds who have never been loved by Meggie Royer
All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack.
This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth?
The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen.
At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours.
Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk.
But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting.
The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate.
They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole.
And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
-The music is this:
Lo Mimieux - Exile
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰"I Am Much Too Alone in This World, Yet Not Alone" by Rainer Maria Rilke
I am much too alone in this world
yet not alone enough to truly consecrate the hour.
I am much too small in this world
yet not small enough to be to you
just object and thing
dark and smart
I want my free will
and want it accompanying the path which leads to action;
I want during times that beg questions,
where something is up, to be among those in the know,
or else be alone.
I want to mirror your image to its fullest perfection,
never be blind or too old
to uphold your weighty wavering reflection.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere I wish to stay crooked, bent;
for there I would be dishonest, untrue.
I want my conscience to be true before you;
I want to describe myself like a picture I observed for a long time
one close up
like a new word I learned and embraced,
like the everyday jug
like my mother's face
like a ship that carried me along through the deadliest storm
In this video, you can see my friends and in fact, some of the shots were shot by them while playing with my camera. In other words, It wouldn't be possible to make this without them.
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
-The music is this:
Megan Wofford - Restore
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰"On the Necessity of Sadness"
by Mikael de Lara Co
Let me tell you about longing.
Let me presume that I have something new to say about it
that this room, naked, its walls pining for clocks,
has something new to say about absence.
Somewhere the crunch of an apple,
fading sunflowers on a quilt,
a window looking out to a landscape with a single tree.
And you sitting under it.
Let go, said you to me in a dream,
but by the time the wind carried your voice to me,
I was already walking through the yawning door,
towards the small, necessary sadnesses of waking.
I wish I could hold you now,
but that is a line that has no place in a poem,
like the swollen sheen of the moon tonight,
or the word absence,
or you,
or longing.
Let me tell you about longing.
In a distant country, two lovers are on a bench,
and pigeons, unafraid, are perching beside them.
She places a hand on his knee
and says, say to me the truest thing you can.
I am closing my eyes now.
You are far away.
This is a poem by the extremely talented Meggie Royer.
🔗facebook.com/MeggieRoyerPoetry
I fell in love with this poem instantly, it felt so human, like the moment you truly connect with a friend. The main theme of this poem is a very serious one and the imagery is extremely heavy in my mind. I don't want this work to romanticize something that causes so much pain. The purpose of this video is to give strength to the brave people who fight demons in their heads. You are not alone Internet Friends, I hope you like this work.
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
P.S. This wouldn't be possible without my friend who allowed me to film her walking the city, making coffee, and petting cats. instagram.com/melinoise
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗open.spotify.com/artist/6RXfBqGg0YwfM7jVCTq79W?si=DChjB-1cT7qYDXH6psbOaA
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
-The music is this:
Sentient - Gavin Luke
Thanks to Chubbz for helping me with the audio
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰The morning after I killed myself by Meggie Royer
The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.
I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.
The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.
The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.
The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.
The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.
The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.
The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tyler
artstation.com/sunshine-tm
-The music is this:
Who We Are by Gavin Luke
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰If porcelain then only the kind by Stanisław Barańczak (translated with the help of Anna Grela)
If porcelain, then only the kind you won’t miss under the shoe of a mover
or the tread of a tank;
if a chair, then not too comfortable, lest
there be regret in getting up and leaving;
if clothing, then just so much as can fit in a suitcase,
if books, then those which can be carried in the memory,
if plans, then those which can be forgotten
when the time comes for the next move
to another street, continent, historical period
or world:
who told you that you were permitted to settle in?
who told you that anything would last forever?
did no one ever tell you that
you will never in this world feel at home?
-This video is dedicated to all the wonderful people who supported me on this journey.
-This video is dedicated to Tom Bedlam and to all the people who weep when they hear his voice.
-This video is dedicated to Iness and to all the people that comment telling me to never give up.
-This video is dedicated to my friends and to the viewers that I will never meet.
Finally, this video is dedicated to the everlasting war of art and to the certainty that beauty will win.
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-hdiscord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom Bedlam
-The music is this:
Where are the stars by Silver Maple
(Dj Chubbz's help was crucial to make this song fit this video)
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰If by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Forever Humbled,
a kid with a camera
P.S. The beautiful voice that you hear belongs to Iness and this video would not be possible without her contribution and her dedication.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗reddit.com/user/_illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
Her Soundcloud
🔗soundcloud.com/fake-plastic-kiss
-The music is this:
Into The Light - Moments
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰Air and Light and Time and Space by Charles Bukowski
you know, I’ve either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
way
but now
I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have
a place and the time to
create.”
no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you wor
k 16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you’re on
welfare,
you’re going to create with part of your mind and your
body blown
away,
you’re going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.
baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.
This video was shot during my 2019 summer break when traveling was still a thing. "Desiderata" is one of the greatest poems of the last century with a message that will echo for many more generations since it speaks directly to the human condition and all the existential questions that come along with it. In other words, I really like this poem because it speaks to me and I hope it does the same to you, tell me what you think in the comments.
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom o' Bedlam
-The music is this:
Alice in Winter - Departure
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
After publishing a video of me brushing my teeth, I would like to say that dental health is of utmost importance. In regards to the video, I tried a few new things about the type of shots used and the editing style. I tried to capture the sadness of a routine and the way this feeling presents itself in the most common activities like tieing your shoes or brushing your teeth. I'm not an actor by any means but I hope you felt at least a fragment of what I tried to portray.
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
P.S. A big "thank you" to my friends, for assisting me in the making of this video.
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Charles Bukowski
-The music is this:
Ave Air - Two Layers Of Diffusion
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰Consummation Of Grief by Charles Bukowski
I even hear the mountains
the way they laugh
up and down their blue sides
and down in the water
the fish cry
and the water
is their tears.
I listen to the water
on nights I drink away
and the sadness becomes so great
I hear it in my clock
it becomes knobs upon my dresser
it becomes paper on the floor
it becomes a shoehorn
a laundry ticket
it becomes
cigarette smoke
climbing a chapel of dark vines. . .
it matters little
very little love is not so bad
or very little life
what counts
is waiting on walls
I was born for this
I was born to hustle roses down the avenues of the dead.
A kid with a camera
A big thank you to my adorabol friends for starring in my little production
-instagram.com/melinoise
-instagram.com/mamalu_2.0
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this:
Franz Gordon - A Heart Made of Yarn
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
P.S. A big "thank you" to my friends, for assisting me in the making of this video.
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this:
Joseph Alesci - Interlapse
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰Writing by Charles Bukowski
often it is the only
thing
between you and
impossibility.
no drink,
no woman's love,
no wealth
can
match it.
nothing can save
you
except
writing.
it keeps the walls
from
failing.
the hordes from
closing in.
it blasts the
darkness.
writing is the
ultimate
psychiatrist,
the kindliest
god of all the
gods.
writing stalks
death.
it knows no
quit.
and writing
laughs
at itself,
at pain.
it is the last
expectation,
the last
explanation.
that's
what it
is.
from blank gun silencer - 1991
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗reddit.com/user/_illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
Her Soundcloud
🔗soundcloud.com/fake-plastic-kiss
-The music is this:
Scott Buckley - She Moved Mountains
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Pablo Neruda books
The Poetry of Pablo Neruda
amzn.to/2PFknmh
The Essential Neruda: Selected Poems
amzn.to/3aeqGqr
Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair
amzn.to/3ilgiAb
🔰Keeping Quiet by Pablo Neruda
Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still
for once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for a second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would not look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.
Shoutout to Chubbz for polishing the narration audio and to J.S. for giving me access to his sound library.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗reddit.com/user/_illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Charles Bukowski
-The music is this:
Gabriel Parker - Fractions
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰Rain by Charles Bukowski
a symphony orchestra.
there is a thunderstorm,
they are playing a Wagner overture
and the people leave their seats under the trees
and run inside to the pavilion
the women giggling, the men pretending calm,
wet cigarettes being thrown away,
Wagner plays on, and then they are all under the
pavilion. the birds even come in from the trees
and enter the pavilion and then it is the Hungarian
Rhapsody #2 by Lizst, and it still rains, but look,
one man sits alone in the rain
listening. the audience notices him. they turn
and look. the orchestra goes about its
business. the man sits in the night in the rain,
listening. there is something wrong with him,
isn't there?
he came to hear the
music.
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
🔗reddit.com/user/_illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Iness J.
Her email.
🔗ijprojects.side@gmail.com
Her Soundcloud
🔗soundcloud.com/fake-plastic-kiss
-The music is this:
Franz Gordon - September Days
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰Be Kind by Charles Bukowski
we are always asked
to understand the other person's
viewpoint
no matter how
out-dated
foolish or
obnoxious.
one is asked
to view
their total error
their life-waste
with
kindliness,
especially if they are
aged.
but age is the total of
our doing.
they have aged
badly
because they have
lived
out of focus,
they have refused to
see.
not their fault?
whose fault?
mine?
I am asked to hide
my viewpoint
from them
for fear of their
fear.
age is no crime
but the shame
of a deliberately
wasted
life
among so many
deliberately
wasted
lives
is.
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Alan Watts
-The (amazing) music is this:
Hazy - Cosmos
🔗Hazy's Playlist:
open.spotify.com/playlist/5uqKfYq4LEq7Oj29Zrn4wv?si=_TpdZSyZSCulAJbzuAUB0g&_php=1
🔗Hazy's Channel
youtube.com/channel/UCaoTsijoAZvN-yYEsEvgQjQ
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Dream by Alan Watts
Let's suppose you were able, every night, to dream any dream you wanted to dream, and that you could, for example, have the power to dream in one night 75 years' worth of time. Or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would, naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each, you would say 'Well, that was pretty great. But now let's have a surprise. Let's have a dream which isn't under control, where something is going to happen to me that I don't know what it's going to be.' And you would dig that, and come out of it and say 'That was a close shave, now wasn't it?' Then you would get more and more adventurous, and you would make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream, and finally, you would dream where you are now. You would dream of the life that you are actually living in today. That would be within the infinite multiplicity of the choices you would have. Of playing that you weren't God. Because the whole nature of the godhead, according to this idea, is to play that he's not. The first thing that he says to himself is 'Man, get lost,' because he gives himself away. The nature of love is self-abandonment, not clinging to oneself. Throwing yourself out, for instance as in basketball; you're always getting rid of the ball. You say to the other fellow 'Have a ball.' See? And that keeps things moving. That's the nature of life.
So in this idea, then, everybody is fundamentally the ultimate reality. Not God in a politically kingly sense, but God in the sense of being the self, the deep-down basic whatever there is. And you're all that, only you're pretending you're not.
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
For business inquires: illneasmedia@gmail.com
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this:
In a Bar in Buenos Aires - Franz Gordon
Intro Music: Scott Buckley - Nightfall
📷My equipment: I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰A few Robert Frost books
📓A Collection of Poems by Robert Frost
amzn.to/3aA8Z3L
📓Selected Poems of Robert Frost: Illustrated Edition
amzn.to/32ScSOM
📓The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems
amzn.to/39D4TYF
📓The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems, Complete and Unabridged amzn.to/2TrERSv
📓The Road Not Taken and Other Poems
amzn.to/39rkJ8D
🔰Acquainted with the Night by Robert Frost
I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The (amazing) music is this:
Scott Buckley - Undertow
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
🔰So Now? by Charles Bukowski
the words have come and gone,
I sit ill.
the phone rings, the cats sleep.
Linda vacuums.
I am waiting to live,
waiting to die.
I wish I could ring in some bravery.
it's a lousy fix
but the tree outside doesn't know:
I watch it moving with the wind
in the late afternoon sun.
there's nothing to declare here,
just a waiting.
each faces it alone.
Oh, I was once young,
Oh, I was once unbelievably
young!
Forever Humbled
illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this: Martin Klem Barren
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin
They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were f*cked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
I believe that every human being on this planet can relate to this poem to some extent. Personally, I'm somewhat "tormented" by my internal dialogue. I'm second-guessing my every choice and romanticizing about the outcome of the option I didn't choose, tell me in the comments if this makes sense and you guys can relate. One thought that calms me is that making mistakes is progress and in the future, the stories of my mistakes will be told with a sigh.
P.S. Some of the shots and the thumbnail were created with the help of
instagram.com/thanos_chasiotis
Forever Humbled
a kid with a camera
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this:
Lucky Charm · Mimi Olesen
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves, no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Forever Humbled
illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Charles Bukowski
-The music is this:
Snowfall - Scott Buckley
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
you know and I know and thee know
that as the yellow shade rips
as the cat leaps wild-eyed
as the old bartender leans on the wood
as the hummingbird sleeps
you know and I know and thee know
as the tanks practice on false battlefields
as your tires work the freeway
as the midget drunk on cheap bourbon cries alone at night
as the bulls are carefully bred for the matadors
as the grass watches you and the trees watch you
as the sea holds creatures vast and true
you know and I know and thee know
the sadness and the glory of two slippers under a bed
the ballet of your heart dancing with your blood
young girls of love who will someday hate their mirrors
overtime in hell
lunch with sick salad
you know and I know and thee know
the end as we know it now
it seems such a lousy trick after the lousy agony but
you know and I know and thee know
the joy that sometimes comes along out of nowhere
rising like a falcon moon across the impossibility
you know and I know and thee know
the cross-eyed craziness of total elation
we know that we finally have not been cheated
you know and I know and thee know
as we look at our hands our feet our lives our way
the sleeping hummingbird
the murdered dead of armies
the sun that eats you as you face it
you know and I know and thee know
we will defeat death.
Forever Humbled
illneas
“I have no enemies. But my friends don't like me.”
― Philip Larkin
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom o'Bedlam
-The music is this:
Filaments - Scott Buckley
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
Groping back to bed after a piss
I part thick curtains, and am startled by
The rapid clouds, the moon’s cleanliness.
Four o’clock: wedge-shadowed gardens lie
Under a cavernous, a wind-picked sky.
There’s something laughable about this,
The way the moon dashes through clouds that blow
Loosely as cannon-smoke to stand apart
(Stone-coloured light sharpening the roofs below)
High and preposterous and separate—
Lozenge of love! Medallion of art!
O wolves of memory! Immensements! No,
One shivers slightly, looking up there.
The hardness and the brightness and the plain
Far-reaching singleness of that wide stare
Is a reminder of the strength and pain
Of being young; that it can’t come again,
But is for others undiminished somewhere.
P.S. For those interested in history, this movie was filmed in a place called the Palace of Galerius
P.S.2 Huge thanks to my friend Giannis for assisting me with some of the shots.
Forever Humbled
illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom o'Bedlam
-The music is this:
Refined Enlightenment - Howard Harper-Barnes
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
If I Could Tell You by W.H. Auden
Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.
If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.
There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.
The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.
Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.
Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.
Forever Humbled
illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom o'Bedlam
-The music is this: Scott Buckley Ascension
soundcloud.com/scottbuckley/ascension-cc-by
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
No Leaders Please
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
don’t swim in the same slough.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself
and
stay out of the clutches of mediocrity.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
change your tone and shape so often that they can
never
categorize you.
reinvigorate yourself and
accept what is
but only on the terms that you have invented
and reinvented.
be self-taught.
and reinvent your life because you must;
it is your life and
its history
and the present
belong only to
you.
Forever Humbled
illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom o'Bedlam
-The music is this: Johannes Bornlof - Wolfpack
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A Dream Within a Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow —
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand —
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep — while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
-Love, illneas
🔰This entire movie was filmed in the city I live in, which is challenging for me to capture views that I see daily from a completely new perspective also I chose the voice of Bukowski for this one.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Charles Bukowski
-The music is this: The Music Box Ave Air
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
The Strongest of the Strange
you won’t see them often
for wherever the crowd is
they
are not.
those odd ones, not
many
but from them
come
the few
good paintings
the few
good symphonies
the few
good books
and other
works.
and from the
best of the
strange ones
perhaps
nothing.
they are
their own
paintings
their own
books
their own
music
their own
work.
sometimes I think
I see
them– say
a certain old
man
sitting on a
certain bench
in a certain
way
or
a quick face
going the other
way
in a passing
automobile
or
there’s a certain motion
of the hands
of a bag—boy or a bag—
girl
while packing
supermarket
groceries.
sometimes
it is even somebody
you have been
living with
for some
time—
you will notice
a
lightning quick
glance
never seen
from them
before.
sometimes
you will only note
their
existance
suddenly
in
vivid
recall
some months
some years
after they are
gone.
I remember
such a
one—
he was about
20 years old
drunk at
10 a.m.
staring into
a cracked
New Orleans
mirror
facing dreaming
against the
walls of
the world
where
did I
go?
-Love, illneas
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this: Signal to Noise Hampus Naeselius
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
Invictus
BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
🔰The king of misery himself Edgar Allan Poe. Although this poem didn't make him famous, it was discovered after his death and it was written when he was 20. I can't help but imagine how many other poems, paintings or any work of art did not get discovered and remain to this day hidden. Art without an audience is self-therapy, so please if you create art publish it.
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this: Jakob Ahlbom - Fracture
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
“Alone”
BY EDGAR ALLAN POE
From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—
🔰Support me on Patreon: patreon.com/illneas
🔰Find me here 🔗instagram.com/_illneas
🔗facebook.com/illneas
🔗twitter.com/illneas
Second channel
🔗youtube.com/channel/UC3urbsMSDr9XmgtnFdWZe_Q
🔰Communities
-discord.gg/kfxthmS3F4
-facebook.com/groups/2314655172176122
-reddit.com/r/searchingformeaning
🔰References
-The narrator is Tom O'Bedlam
-The music is this: Scott Buckley - Stars in her Skies
soundcloud.com/scottbuckley/stars-in-her-skies
🔰My equipment:
I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
🔰A few Charles Bukowski books
📓Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame
amzn.to/2TjV2Qc
📓Essential Bukowski: Poetry
amzn.to/2IaxnMU
📓Women: A Novel
amzn.to/2Ts5hlz
📓The Last Night of the Earth Poems
amzn.to/2TqKZsP
📓Ham On Rye: A Novel
amzn.to/2uLMnhu
📓post office: A Novel
amzn.to/2VzvKAC
📓You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense
amzn.to/2Vx9cAl
The camera I used is a Lumix GX80/85
📷My equipment: I film handheld with a Panasonic Lumix
G80
amzn.to/2uGqmQZ
GX80
amzn.to/33e5Tye
📷Olympus M.Zuiko Digital 45mm F1.8 Lens
amzn.to/2vr9P3N
The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.