trainerlyra
final destination || HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACE 2024!!!
updated
haha so what if after 800 years of pining you meet your crush again and they happen to be dressed as a bride would that be crazy or what
i really can't actually explain. frances told me to try tgcf. i watched tgcf. i then binge read tgcf. i then bought all volumes of tgcf. i now cannot stop thinking about tgcf. hualian is the Most Precious and they are Very In Love and i love that for them. finally after 800 years your simping paid off, hua cheng. i've even started writing about them, whoops, shameless self promo as usual archiveofourown.org/works/42093780
this is not the first song i wanted to edit for them but this is what happened bc it is the Iconic age gap song. it will never not be funny. it also kinda fits if you squint. really. i promise.
but god. god. this ship has everything y'all. ghost king with an eyepatch who only cares about One Single Being. crown prince turned trash panda. humor. so much kissing oh my god. excessive trauma. everything! truly! shout out to kyle also for watching the donghua with me i love you
anyways i didn't mean to go mia for so long but wow i am so stressed and exhausted and socmed was making me more exhausted. whoops! i'll probably keep being a little mia for a bit but i'll.... try..... to be less........ i'm sorry i'm garbage. i'm just having the worst time at work and i have a wedding in less than a month and the only thing getting me through is reading orv and tgcf fics HAHA i am sooooo stressed. please just end me or lock me in a coffin for 100 years never to talk about it again afterwards
this year has been Wild and it will continue to be but i will say that i truly have the best friends in the entire universe. i genuinely can't even believe how many wonderful people i've gotten to know and make connections with these past years..... and most of it is thanks to doing stupid shit like making videos like this or writing fic (archiveofourown.org/works/40185093/chapters/100647540 shameless self promo to the almost 40k post epilogue jd fic i wrote in july please read it if you've finished orv).... like wow. love for characters..... really DOES bring everyone together......... truly incredible..... i don't deserve the love y'all give to me but please look at the wonderful things everyone made for me
youtube.com/watch?v=R80IRURI4d0
youtube.com/watch?v=l6HMgQ8ars4
anyways..... joongdok
in truth i've barely been editing bc i've been doing... an insane amount of fic writing lately..... in fact i even have fic comms open if that is something that interests you
twitter.com/trainerlyraa/status/1545515709299662849
but yeah between writing fics and orv i just. idk. have not been thinking about editing orz but i opened up vegas today so who knows! maybe!! we'll get something new out lol
anyways yeah i just figured i'd drop this here since i worked pretty hard on it even if i won't ever finish it. this song makes me laugh a lot for them. joshneku is so peak. i still them about them constantly even if orv has destroyed my ability to consume any other content lmfao
anyways that's all. life is rough. planning a wedding reception is exhausting. work sucks. all i wanna do is play video games and write my dumb little fanfics. alas, i have to be an adult. tragic truly. if you are curious as to what i've been up to lately, a quick rundown....
- became office manager of my clinic
- have written a lot of words (now up to 100 published fics on ao3... woo....)
- like really i can't stress this enough....so many words. i can't stop writing
- reread orv again
- started rock climbing regularly again
- ???
- i'm not profiting. i'm too tired to profit
so yeah that's about it
peace out lmao
a long time ago we joked about this song reminding us both of each other & the arisato twins bc we associate them so hard with each other so i was like "lol i can do that actually" thanks to the footage from here: youtube.com/watch?v=FN7MydH0nqQ
anyways! this is just really silly and sappy but it's bc i love you. "you will always be my home" is true! no matter what the situation, no matter where i am or how i'm feeling, i know i will always have a place in you. we've always been close, i feel like, but over the last few years we've really gotten the chance to become even closer and i'm grateful for it every day. and i hope you know the same is true for you. i am always here. "you don't have to be alone."
you are such a wonderful soul. you are so unique, so wonderful, so kind and forgiving... you're always honest, always trustworthy, and always trying to understand. the amount of effort you put in to every single one of the people you care about is inspiring... i just think you're amazing. you're really the most amazing friend i could've ever asked for. i'm so grateful every day even when we don't talk that i have you there. just knowing that you exist-- that people can be so genuine and loving, that you are breathing and living and existing, makes the world more tolerable.
i love you so much. and i'm so proud of you! life has been a real struggle for so many reasons. i know you've been having a rough time. but you're still trying! even when you feel like giving up, you still get back up eventually and try again. you're so strong. not everyone can do that -- not everyone will. but no matter where life takes you, no matter how far you go, i'll always be so proud of you for making it to where you have.
thank you for being my friend! thank you for everything you do for me. from the late night cry fests, the long paragraphs of advice and patience and understanding, to all of the fun we have be it gaming or just doing really stupid unhinged shit on twitter dot com, thank you for everything, always. happy birthday bb. ily!!!!
(the bestest birthday red: youtube.com/channel/UC2ztTLsx05RNqn8S9mZ93tg)
we say it all in the doc, but happy birthday. YOU'RE 21!!!!! i can't believe it. it's kinda wild bc i think we've been talking since you were like. just starting high school?? or around then anyways. that's NUTS. i am so glad life managed to work out in a way where we got to cross paths. we all love you so much and you deserve the world. i hope today is wonderful to you and that you get to relax!!!!! you deserve it. muah
(The Doc: docs.google.com/document/d/1GYaQQtHbUwfztRrOiALI67Uy8n4TOlAFgC7CY1eMbGk/edit?usp=sharing)
parts:
1 - me || pegokita
2 - missy || luckyshipping
3 - dina || grovyle x celebi
4 - jo || samewada/ganqing
5.1 - ace || akeshu
5.2 - dina || omg i forget their names.
6 - lena || akesumi
7 - jo || mephadow
8 - missy || kalosshipping
9 - lena || reylo
10 - me || narumayo lol
credits (will update): docs.google.com/document/d/1vlZ31-JqJZa1uOAl4uST5Ut1jBdTxbKOA-ZYo7IJXN0/edit
ANYWAYS, so the webtoon for the disaster of floods huh....... whew. so i had a feeling i would lose it when i saw it drawn out - particularly joonghyuk's face when he was screaming that it wasn't too late or that he couldn't kill kim dokja. and i sure did! oh man. ohhhhh man. also, wow, kdj's injury? idk why in my brain i was like, yeah, just a hole through his stomach when i was reading. that was so much more BRUTAL then i was expecting, oh my god, i audibly gasped while reading the 98 spoilers
this was one of my favorite more early joongdok moments tbh with you... i just loved the way yjh like, could not even accept what was happening when kdj was telling him to just kill him. then there was of course him losing his MIND during the fight, all bc he thought he had lost kdj....godddd. yjh's repeated "IT'S NOT TOO LATE" while kdj's lower half is hanging on by a thread, despite his repeated talk about wanting to kill him......hhhhhhh
(SPOILERS FOR WEBNOVEL START HERE)
i REALLY wish we were at the dark castle arc bc i wanted to include The Scene as well in this, bc god, "it was really a good story, wasn't it" kills me every time. that's honestly still my number one favorite joongdok scene i think, even after everything. it's just so emotional - kdj's realization that it has to be yjh, yjh cradling him as he dies for what he thinks is for good.... plus what follows is absolutely wild lol the demon realm stuff is so absurd.
but god i just. i cannot WAIT until we finally get the dark castle stuff in the webtoon........ the part where i put quotes in this edit i wanted to include kdj's realization that he killed his father & also the panels of yjh coming to terms with the fact that what he and lsh had should stay in his past regressions, but again i didn't really know how to illustrate the first part without any panels.... i could've used the ones from where he starts to remember what he thinks are his true memories of his mother killing him but ehhh. not as impactful imo. esp bc i read a thing that said that kdj learned the sacrificial thing from his mother and that's the only way he knows how to show his love,
i also really wanted to include stuff about yjh's 0th turn and his decision to regress... to see what kdj saw in him.... but i didn't really know how to do that outside of quotes and didn't want to fully spoil things for people who haven't read lol. esp bc that twist was one of the best imo.... they really are soulmates. they did everything to save the other person (YOU SAVED ME ONCE, NOW IT'S MY TURN TO SAVE YOU), to understand the other.... god. they really make me so emotional
(END OF SPOILERS FOR WEBNOVEL)
anyways (2) i heard this song a few weeks back and i really think it's very good for them, especially from kdj's pov. he really does not believe he is lovable, and he really believes that yjh is so far out of his reach he genuinely doesn't understand how much this person cares about him.... and of course there's the fact that he WON'T STOP SACRIFICING HIMSELF for the people he loves..... (whats wrong with my ways? why can't it make sense to me?)
i still can't express enough how much i love orv, it's characters, and joongdok... kdj means so much to me at this point. the only two characters i've ever related to this much are kacchan and rise.... kdj is unfortunately incredibly relatable to me, lmao, which feels like such a personal confession if you're at all familiar with orv and who he is/his back story.... but you know that's just how it be. and joongdok as a ship just....oh my god. ohhhhh my god. i knew i was a goner from the first big moment. "how are you alone? what did i come here for if you're alone? i wanted to see the epilogue of a certain novel"..... hhh. kdj really just wanted to see yjh reach a happy ending. fuck!!!!
i really can't recommend this series enough. give the webtoon a try, or even just go straight for the novel. all my love for it aside, it's just one of the most creative novels i've ever read. the story, the setting, the plot twists.... everything is so perfectly put together. you really have to give it a try if you like fantasy stuff.
thanks for watching as always! i am coming up near a very terrifying 5000 characters so i am going to shut up :) i'll def be publishing some joongdok fic soon soooo....keep an eye out for that ig. peace out
three years... it's really been three years. so much has changed in the last three years. so much that you've missed out on, that you won't ever get to see or know or experience. three years time has kept on moving, life has kept going, three years that i've had to live in a world where you no longer exist.
i never know what to say when it comes to talking about you anymore. i never know how to express the kind of connection we had, the friendship we shared, the memories we made. i find myself rewatching the things we made together, rereading old chat logs, looking at your old abandoned twitter, anything to just... remind me that you were there. i just miss you. i miss you every day, even if just in passing. just a simple, "i wish i could tell this to hope" or "hope would love this".
it kills me that you never got to experience so much. that you didn't let yourself get old enough to live on your own, to really see what life had to offer you. you never got to bloom fully, not really. you never got to be on your own, as an adult, where the world is scary and too big but you have so much freedom for the first time.
it kills me that you weren't celebrating with everyone when i got married. or when kyle and i finally moved into our own place. or when i turned 25. my birthdays keep coming, but yours have stopped. you won't ever have a birthday again.
but i can't ever blame you. i wish i could, some days, but i can't. because i get it. i get what happened. i forgive you. i always do. i always will. you're gone, and i can't bring you back. it hurts. so much, sometimes, that it feels like my skull is going to burst. like my bones are going to rot inside my skin. but you're not here, and i've finally started to accept that a little bit, i think.
that doesn't mean i don't still miss you. that doesn't mean i won't always think of you. because i do. i will. and it kills me the most that i wasn't there fast enough. that i failed you in your most critical moment. what if i had been a little faster to reply, to get someone to check on you? what if i had pried a little more when you seemed off the week before, checked on you a bit more thoroughly? would that have been enough?
i don't know. i don't ever get to know. hindsight is always 20/20, and i have no idea if i would've been able to change it if i knew what i know now. what you would do. how things would end.
but none of that matters, i guess. i'm sorry. i wish i could apologize to you more thoroughly. i wish you were around to hear it. i dream about you, sometimes, and i always apologize to you in those dreams. do they reach you? my stories, my apologies, how much i love you. how much we all still love you. i hope they do.
i hope you're resting easy, wherever you are. if there is an afterlife, i hope you're finally able to settle, and you're finally okay. out of everything, that's what i want most. is for you to finally be at peace.
god holy shit i don't ever cry this much unless i'm watching 86. this series is everything. this series is legitimately everything you do not understand until you've watched it. so i couldn't *not* edit it. very very raw, though, bc the directing in the anime is absolutely amazing and i need everyone to appreciate it. it's so beautiful.
i will never, ever be over lena stepping OUT OF THE FRAME and back into shin's life. ever. ever ever ever. that was such a beautiful way to animate their first reunion. such a beautiful and meaningful way to show that she overcame what he thought was certain death, that she was the first person to truly catch up to him. someone he thought he left behind -- that he thought LEFT HIM BEHIND -- stepping out of the darkness that is his trauma and life and welcoming him with open arms to something new. she will always, always catch up to him. and him reaching out for the helicopter with her in it, at the end of the episode..... the beginning of his realization that he wants to show her the world that she dreams of, god. god. it's something else. 86 is truly a masterpiece, in every way. this series is beautiful. it's so beautiful, and full of hope, and love, and i just. fuck, man. you can experience the entire human range of emotions with 86.
oh, and of course...
"you survived. i think you should be more proud of that." those are the words that shin needed, for so long. not "please carry on". not "go on without me". not "don't forget about me". but "you survived". and lena was there, as always, to show him the other side of everything. he did survive. he kept on surviving. he is here, living, breathing. his heart is still beating. he is ALIVE. and for the first time, in a long, long time, that thought isn't scary to him. because he has a new goal, now.
lena. lena's happiness. being able to be with her, in the world that she desires -- one free from the battlefield. but she isn't the one pushing him towards it, no. he's doing it, for once, on his own volition. he wants to see this one through, for himself, too.
there really isn't a way to describe shinlena that i haven't in my other videos. there really isn't a way to describe 86 that i haven't said to death over on twitter. but please, please watch this show. special doesn't even begin to cover it. the level of nuance that it's subject matter is handled with, it's characters... it's touched me on a level few things have.
thanks for watching. please watch 86.
the wordle today (spoilers) was "choke"
no i'm sorry that was a bad joke. terrible, truly. what actually happened:
so i'm currently having a lil bit of socmed distance bc life is Hard and i was having A Time. so during this time, etsy decided to recommend me this print for a series i'd never heard of. and i was like "wait i know this artist, they liked vrains, if they like this i'll probably like it?" and looked it up. omniscient reader's viewpoint.
i found the webtoon. i binge read the webtoon. i found the webnovel. i binge read the webnovel. and now i've been doing nothing but reading fic of these two for a solid week and a half, and um,
wow. wow!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT THEY ARE IN LOVE. THEY ARE SO IN LOVE? KIM DOKJA WILL BE KILLED BY THE ONE HE LOVES MOST. TELL ME, YOU FOOL, IF I REGRESS, WILL I BE ABLE TO MEET YOU AGAIN? I'M IN PHYSICAL PAIN THINKING ABOUT THEM. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE MEME TIMES A THOUSAN. LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK. i literally can't even talk about it for too long or i start crying. they are soulmates. they deserve.... happiness.... together. i just want to hug them both. i legit cannot express to you how amazing this story is. i thought i was in love with them from just the fact that.... well, like, kim dokja loves this protagonist. he's looked up to him, he's hated him, he's been following him, for so many chapters. that alone had me head over heels for this ship - he is the only one who can understand him so implicitly! there is nobody else who knows his sorrows, his triumphs, his happiness and--
but then it just KEEPS GOING. THERE IS NO END. THEY JUST. KEEP MAKING ME WANT TO DIE. i don't want to spoil too much for once in my descriptions bc i desperately, desperately want everyone to read it for themselves and see exactly what i'm talking about but MOM HOLY FUCK KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR. READ THIS FUCKING WEBNOVEL. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY THE CHAPTER LENGTH. I PROMISE YOU IT'S WORTH IT. THEY ARE COMPANIONS IN LIFE AND DEATH. LIFE AND DEATH COMPANIONS. I JUST. FAINTS.
so anyways i did this in like an hour using the webtoon (which is also really amazing it's such a good adaptation and you should all read that first to get hooked and then go to the webnovel) and uh. that's it. please rec me joongdok fics. i've probably read it already. but do it anyways. thanks
who knows! anyways i may like them a Normal Amount. i may have thoughts about them A Normal Amount. i can't believe i waited so long to play this game. why do i do this to myself. first twewy and now toz........ i am a Fool. a Stupid Fool.
actually i lied i know exactly why i'm posting this now lol i wanted to self promo my fic and it's also hazrindo week so i'll have too many things getting uploaded at the same time so i had to post the fic now. anyways yes i have begun to write sormik fic. bc i have a problem. and my problem is THEM!!!! they are Too Good. please read them being in love here: archiveofourown.org/works/36328327
this description is like this bc i had a day, okay. i'm having a Week. work is hard i'm Tired lmfao
also this is dedicated to red, for letting me photobomb her enkanomiya cutscenes to hell and back. i love her very much. also for letting me ramble at her about them sometimes though she has no idea. also for just being a wonderful friend whom i cherish.
anyways i will def be back with more Things at somepoint.... cursed things. good things. who knows! not me. goodbye
anyways. gracie loves zestiria so much so awhile back i was like "eh what the hell i've been enjoying the tales series so far" so i grabbed it on steam sale for like $5.... took me awhile but finally started playing 3 weeks ago and, well, i went from 20 hours in 2 weeks to 40 hours in another 4 days-ish, so you tell me how it went lmfao
i just.... was really not expecting it, tbh. not just sormik - though i'll get there - but the game itself. the cast was way more charming then i was anticipating, the relationships they all shared.... and idk. maybe it's after playing arise which was a pretty big let down for me by the end (though i still did enjoy it it to an extent, just so far my least favorite of the series lol), i just had my expectations so low lol, but something about this group really really clicked for me. i love each and every one of the party members to pieces. (please don't talk to me about dezel/rose i WILL start crying again)
and these two...........
oh man. these two. idk if you know this about me but childhood friends to lovers with no drama or angst in between is actually my least favorite trope, like, ever.. it's not something i usually find very interesting, with a few exceptions on occasion. so when i realized they had known each other their whole lives i expected to lose interest in their relationship pretty quickly. but the exact fucking opposite happened!!! and instead the more they kept interacting the more i just wanted to see them TOGETHER. i wanted to see them happy!!! to see them laughing and joking more and just having fun. i just want them to be in love!!!! there's so much i could say that i'm sure has already been said a billion times about them, since i'm just a liiiiiiiiiiittle lot late to the zestiria party, but oh my god. oh my god!!!!!
they just love each other. so much!!! they would literally go to the ends of the earth for each other. THEY DID EXACTLY THAT!!!! mikleo waited, like, what, 500 years?? just for sorey to come back. and the love in his eyes, the gentle smile when he realized just who was there to catch him when he fell in the epilogue..... GOD!!!!! and the scene right before everything kind of goes to shit, where they're talking on their own, there's just so much understanding there. neither of them are happy about the choices they're going to have to make. but they know what has to be done, and they trust each other so much to keep their dreams alive. and to fulfill the ultimate goal - for sorey to return to a world where his dream has been realized. for mikleo to keep that dream alive until sorey can wake up again. and they just. and they. and they
anyways
i chose this song bc i literally couldn't think of a more fitting song for them. i know it's a bit of a cliche and not everyone's favorite, but this is one of the warmest songs i know. i heard it first when kyle and i were first dating, way back when, and so i can't help but think of those times - when we were still just realizing that our feelings changing didn't actually change anything about our relationship. we were still just us, and we were still best friends, and that's.. kind of how i think it would be for these two. nothing would change between them, just because it was no longer strictly platonic. i think they'd known for a long time, how they felt about each other. and i just. i love them so much, y'all. i've done nothing but read fic of them for like 5 days. i have watched every single amv i could get my grubby hands on.
this does mean that yes, i will be editing them again soon. and also yes, i will absolutely be writing for them too.....i mayhaps have already. started a few things. i am a machine who cannot be stopped
SO IN CONCLUSION, thanks grace for being an enabler as usual. and also thanks red for listening to me ramble on about them (and dezel/rose starts sobbing) even tho she had not a fucking clue what i was talking about lmao love you bb
peace out till next time
this meme came to me one day and i knew what i had to do. i unfortunately had no way of knowing that i would be compelled to put SO MUCH GODDAMN EFFORT IN to this joke. i had to learn how to use aftereffects again. i had to make CUTSCENES. those are all custom made by this bitch!!!!! bc i am TOO COMMITTED TO MY JOKES. thanks to youtube.com/watch?v=TnOA6wq1V-o for the cutscene making assets i would be lost without you
anyways, happy new year x2. joshneku reigns supreme always. they are in love. i adore them with every fiber of my being. i think they are The Most Important. this song is hysterical and i laughed a lot while making this. it still took too many layers and too much effort but i am nothing if not single mindedly dedicated to creating things that nobody will care about
hope y'all have a good day and a good year. please remember to love joshneku today
this year i really struggled with my relationship to editing, the community, and mep parts.... i really love editing, i will always love editing, it's been one of my main creative outlets for a really, really long time. i started before i hit double digits age wise lol. i've been at this since youtube was a thing, basically, so it was really weird to take a step back in such a strong way. but in doing so, i got to rediscover my actual love and passion for editing - notice how many long fx-ish videos i put out this year! so in truth, it was a good thing. almost all of these are birthday parts, and that's probably how it will be for the rest of forever - just joining public meps and doing birthday parts and collabs with friends, and that's okay with me. if i want to edit something, i feel like i just...can, now, instead of it having to be in an mep. which is a very freeing feeling!! i do love editing! i do love making things with my own hands that i'm happy with!! and i want to do that more. just for me.
other than that, 2021..... glad it's over lol. no hopes for 2022. my hope is to survive. i'm cutting back my working hours, no more 6 days a week every week. gonna try really hard to just..... be a person again lol. the last two years, esp working in a medical facility, have been so draining. i am so drained orz. and i think that's a large reason i took such a step back.. meps, while fun, are also stressful as HELL, man. and i just... did not have the patience for it this year. and that's okay!
that said, i was able to write a lot this year, which was really nice... if you like any ships that i like, feel free to check them out (shameless self promo archiveofourown.org/users/trainerlyra/). played a lot of fun games. read some great books. hoping to carry that energy with me into the next year!!!! no more sadness. no more weariness about the state of the world. only love and good things!!!!!! that's my goal. lots of games!!! lots of books and editing and writing and doing the things that i love for me and me only!!!! i worked hard on creating things that i wanted to see out in the world in this year, and i'm hoping to continue doing that next.
i hope you all have a wonderful new year's eve and hopefully 2022 is even just. slightly nicer to us all. i hope you get to spend time with the people you care about, and get to laugh and smile and enjoy life, even if it's only for a bit. i hope we can all find some time to take a much needed rest this coming year.
and with that, i bid you adieu.
i genuinely, really can't believe it's been 10 years. but at the same time, of course it has. you've grown up with me. i've watched you bloom. when we first met i was just some punk kid who was terrified of the world and desperately trying to hide it behind a mask of indifference and rebellion. i was such a brat, oh my god. and you were... well, you. awkward and always a touch too loud and trying your best to be loved. still, you took me seriously and you never once turned me away in my poor attempts at friendship.
our very first phone call lasted, what, four hours? god, back on your shitty house phone line back when those were still a thing. we'd not even talked that much at school, i'd asked for your phone number from a friend on a whim, and, well. we were pretty inseparable, after that. and that just.... never really changed, huh? no matter how much we've changed, no matter how much the things around us have changed, we've always had each other. we always knew we could count on each other, even when the world around us was crumbling and i didn't have a home to go back to. you offered me a place in yours, metaphorically and physically.
and now we're... here. we've been married eight days shy of a year. i still love you, with everything i am. somehow, miraculously, you still want to be here. i don't ever have to worry about your love being conditional. i don't ever have to worry that you'll one day wake up and say you don't want me anymore. that i won't have a home, anymore. we could go anywhere, be anywhere, and as long as you were with me, i know i would be okay.
life has been a little hard, lately, since we're now having to put on our big boy adult pants, but i think we're getting there. little by little, every day, it gets a little easier. it's just our second bloom. and one day, just like when we'd finally broken free of being teenagers who didn't know how to exist comfortably in their own skin, this section of our journey will come to a close and we can start the next. and there's never anyone i'd rather go through life with then with you.
i guess that's why i married you, huh?
anyways. i ended up going with shinlena for many obvious reasons - thanks for watching 86 with me every week, by the way - but also with ferriswheelshipping bc... well, pokemon black was the first christmas gift you ever bought me, do you remember? back when you still lived in that shitty apartment i'd stay over when i wasn't supposed to hiding from my mom, i used to play on your old bed since you didn't have any chairs lol. and more so then that, they really do remind me of us. they probably always will.
thanks for going through life with me, always. happy 10 years. here's to many, many more.
first off HUUUUGE THANK YOU to grace and ru for putting this together!! we've been talking a lot more over the past month and with everyone in our little chat and i'm super grateful... such wonderful people!! such a wonderful celebration of the best ship!!!!
secondly this is my somewhat different take on day 4's prompt music hehe. usually i just do fics for ship weeks (and oh boy do i have some fics!! here's my series for the week, i also have fics for days 5-7 coming!!!! archiveofourown.org/series/2577571) but i really wanted to do an edit too. bc i love them sm and they deserve ALL of my talents!!!!! so i interpreted this as literally as possible and here we are :)
thirdly also big shout out to river nd red, red bc as always i love her more then anything in the universe and she lets me ramble to her all hours of the day and river bc i love them too and their own ramblings both about jn and persona have been so helpful for making the brain juices go AND fun.
ANYWAYS, soap box time, i really cannot describe to you how much i absolutely adore joshneku but i really will try!!!!
like ok. from joshua's perspective we get this bored and lonely god who thinks the world around him is eroded and boring and wants to wipe it to a clean slate and be done, effectively killing himself and everyone else. he sees a kid who hates everything as much as he does and goes yeah, This Is The One. so he kills him to make him a player in his awful game for the fate of the city only to play with him and... see him change? see his views change about the world around him and start on a path to growth and joshua can't help but start changing too. bc this person, who he thought would understand him, not only does understand him but tells him he is Wrong. and then at the end, after everything, when he fully expects neku to shoot him and be done, neku just... doesn't. he puts the gun down. he chooses this single boy, this single lonely god, over the whole city. over all his other friends. over everything he loves. and idk about you guys but it really feels like this is the first time anyone has EVER chosen joshua first. even hanekoma, someone who is also supposed to Get Him, chooses the city over him. but not neku. and then in return, joshua just... gives it all back. he forfeits. because neku choosing him was the final nail in the coffin for joshua to change, too.
and neku!!! from neku's POV he finally meets a friend who he thinks gets him, but also, this kid might have killed him. but he tries SO HARD to give him the benefit of the doubt while doubting him lol it's hilarious. he tries bc he doesn't want joshua to be that person. and then he spends all of week 3 regretting everything and fully making the changes in his worldview and life to be a different, better person. and when joshua really does turn out to be the one behind everything, the one who killed him AND the one who is trying to destroy shibuya.... he's so upset. he's so angry, he's so devastated, but at the end of it he still puts his faith into joshua. trusts that he'll Get It, just like neku came to get it. bc they are two sides of the same coin and constantly building off of each other, constantly learning. and of course joshua does. and so neku gets it too!! he may not forgive him but he still trusts him, bc after all, that trust was what led shibuya to being restored, to all his friends coming back to life... so of course he trusts him!! he still wants him in his life. he wants him to come to hachiko, to be real with all of them... bc after everything, joshua is still his friend. his partner. someone who gets him. someone who was allowed to enter his secret garden, who expanded his world...........
and in NEO we see it come to a totally different place then i EVER expected canon to give us!! the gentle banter, the soft looks and fond gazes, the genuine trust and care they have for each other.... GOD!!!! and i really could go on forever about the rindoka/joshneku parallels and what that could possibly mean as rindoka is Implied Canon, but, like, i think i'm running out of space soon and also don't wanna type all that so red can finally see for herself wtf i'm talking about now that she has neo.
ANYWAYS!!! i love twewy sm. shout out to dina for showing it to me and for editing them for my bday!!! that edit inspired me sm and that's where i got inspo for a certain section here hehe.. shout out to kyle also for listening to me talk about it so constantly that i think he could literally recite the whole plot of the game back to me. i love him.
ok and that's all for real. peace out see ya next time i really did use nearly all 5000 charas yikes.
MIHOYO'S FAVORITE SON CHILDE NEVER STOPS WINNING!!!!! 3RD BANNER MORE CONTENT EXTRA ART MORE YOUTUBE VIDEOS LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
tbh tho this project got half corrupted and gave me a ton of trouble, i ended up having to work in two separate files and nest them together to get the full thing to render lmaooo........ i hate editing
ANYWAYS, joshneku. they are so wonderful. so good. they are So In Love!!!! catch me crying over them every day!!!! how do you compare to a lonely and bored god deciding that his city is beyond recognition and repair, determined to kill it off in a murder/suicide, and picks a person who he knows understands his way of thinking more then anyone else in the city, and then watches as that boy changes throughout the weeks in the game HE prepared for him into someone who learned to open themselves and their world up, and ends up being changed so much in turn that after he wins, he gives it all back? you can't. you don't. goodbye they are In Love i do not make the rules i just follow them
anyways x2. have y'all heard there's a joshneku week coming??? twitter.com/joshnekuweek ofc i'm gonna be writing for it, i'm finishing up my first fic today actually :D i am really excited to see all of the things people do for it.....i really. want more joshneku content lol please feed me. play twewy. play ntwewy. fall in love with them with me
and with that, i bid you adieu
and this song is such a bop. it's been stuck in my head since he uploaded this lmao.....so i was watching it again and hyperfixated brain just went "lol wouldn't it be funny if joshneku"
so here we are!! obvs very inspired by his bop of an edit hehe
it is also my birthday! i am now 25. wild. super funny bc when i was like 10 i was like "lol wouldn't it be funny if when i was married and an adult and stuff if i still edited and played video games all day" and the power of spite compelled me so here i am. 10 y/o mitzi, i hope you know you have so much to look forward to in life
anyways this wasn't at all the video i planned to finish for my birthday but when is that ever how things go lmfao. joshneku brain can't stop won't stop. it's a disease. they are in love your honor. look at how they look at each other. they are IN LOVE and i am in love with their love. i just want them to slow dance on top of 104 and gaze into each other's eyes with a very strong sense of yearning until one of them finally snaps and kisses the other and
this description however, not so minor lmfao
today, i bring you joshneku..... tomorrow, who knows...............
i'm love them so much your honor. i am slowly going to edit them to every song on my spotify playlist regardless of if that playlist keeps growing, i swear it........this was actually super fun to edit and i learned how to animate sprites for it (every sprite you see here i animated!!! super fun) bc i have zero self control now that i'm not really doing parts and just letting myself go Wild when i edit.... i have discovered i actually do, in fact, love editing still lmfao
ntwewy stuff below
super funny, i was enjoying ntwewy (though not as much as the og) perfectly fine and then joshua showed up. mfer didn't even DO anything just shows up and suddenly neku is like "ah yeah now i'm good to do this ridiculously absurd task simply bc you are next to me". absolutely OUTRAGEOUS i love them SO MUCH.
in general, the few scenes we did get with them were so full of warmth.... the gentle banter, the understanding, josh's loving nicknames.......AAAAAAAA. the "i should've trusted my dear partner" followed by neku's immediate "oh, brother" killed me. i am deceased. i love how openly they're able to joke about these things with each other.........sniff. the shift in dynamic makes me SO WARM AND FUZZY. GOD.
OH OH IN GENERAL ALSO, all of neku's ships got some serious buffs. neku has 3 hands now to hold all of his partner's. i may not be super into the other two but they love neku So Much and So Do I. even if his bastard boyfriend is still number one, my love for neku is So Much.
the twewy hyperfixation is so bad i bought the stupid mobile port and have already put like 9 hours into it and i'm only on josh's second day LOL... this is mostly bc i find it way easier to use my phone touch screen then my switch's so i'll probably super max out this file rather than that one... i can actually play on normal and hard and not just get wiped pff. i also wrote 8k of joshneku the other day please read it and validate me: archiveofourown.org/works/33279436
i am currently in the process of writing 10k more of them bc No Self Control.
anyways though, in this essay i will highlight that joshneku has now begun to invoke hades/persephone tropes (ie with neku being bound to both the UG and the RG and joshua having to send him back home even though inevitably he will end up there again with imagination like his) and thus further cemented themselves as One Of My Favorite Ships, Ever. i will also discuss how josh Very Clearly sent shoka back to the RG instead of letting her get erased so he could live vicariously through her ability to be with the person she fell in love with in the place he wants to be, while joshua has to watch neku from afar as he is unable to give up his post as composer. this essay will be 20k long and
anyways, everything you see here is "official" media, so either from the game directly, the wechat stickers, from the stone harbor journal event, quotes are from childe's teapot lines, and most importantly from the genshin anthology, which has a chlmi date chapter that i literally screamed at when i first saw it was a thing back in what june? july?, bc it literally reads just like a fuckin fanfic man come on. childe paying paimon off to go buy some food for some alone time? a real date followed up by a spar where lumi wins? come on i've literally written that EXACT SCENARIO in my fics before. i cannot. chlmi canon. i'm obsessed. i love them so much. i should. finish my very belated chlmi week 2 fics. all four of them. hm. once i'm done with ntwewy tonight i guess.
anyways x2, things are finally starting to settle down.... besides the fact that i've worked literally over 100 hours in the last 14 days lol whoops, our new place is really nice, we're almost finished unpacking, i'm exhausted, but slowly becoming a real person again..... ntwewy and tears of themis have completely taken over my life + inazuma exploring lol. july was a hell month but i made it through and that's all that really matters ig.......
see y'all next time for whatever random thing i produce for stress relief. maybe sometime soon i'll actually *gasp* be social again
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CHILDE TARTAGLIA AJAX GENSHIN IMPACT!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT EVEN DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE BEST THING IN GENSHIN IMPACT AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE FUN PHOTOSHOOTS WITH YOU IN INAZUMA!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY TO MY LITERAL ACTUAL HUSBAND WHO HAS TO PUT UP WITH ME BEING THIS OBSESSED WITH HIM 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahem. anyways life has been real rough lately but it's starting to get better but i'm real glad i was able to finish this in time for best boy's birthday. really corny and mushy talk down below but first: this is my fave chilumi song ever. it fits them so well and i've been wanting to edit it with them forever so i'm happy i finally did, like really, if you somehow don't know all the lyrics then look them up bc this is The Chilumi Song.
cue mushy childe lovemail:
since the moment i first saw childe back in like, what, late oct? i knew he'd be my favorite character in the game. it's been quite awhile since then, and that hasn't changed no matter how many great new characters have come out. i've said before that he hits like, every single one of my buttons to a perfect T - he's like all of my previous faves rolled up into one. since i started hardcore playing genshin (i started on launch week, got real into it when i found out childe was a thing that existed), there has not been a single day that's gone by when i haven't thought about him. hell i spent nearly $200 on a custom posable plush. childe is just... a character that makes me very happy. there's no other way to describe him. he genuinely makes me so, so happy. i love everything about him. every new thing we get about him (ie teapot voicelines) makes me go absolutely fucking feral. i lose my mind any time i see him. i STILL lose my mind when i realize i have him at c4. he just... idk man. childe makes me so happy.
from his crazy backstory, to how much he loves his family, to the respect he has for the traveler, to his desire to someday conquer the world and crush the thrones of gods beneath his heel, childe makes me so happy. writing him makes me happy. editing him makes me happy. seeing him on my phone case, on my lockscreen, on my computer wallpaper, on my watch screen, in my game, on my walls at home, in plush form, in screenshots and fanart and the official anthology and in any way shape or form, he just... makes me smile. i love him. i love him so much. look at his smile!! look at his feral grin or the way he laughs when he knows he's about to have a great fight or the way he frowns when he's upset or the way he is so determined to keep his family safe and happy and out of the crazy stunts he pulls for a living or the way he's just so, so straightforward that everyone in liyue can manipulate him even though HE'S THE ONE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THE MANIPULATING i just. oh my gosh i can't even tell you. my heart is so full of love for one man. his stupid birthday mail made me cry this morning before work AND IT WASN'T EVEN THAT EMOTIONAL IT WAS JUST KINDA FLIRTY AND DUMB BUT I STILL CRIED LOOKING AT IT WHILE I WAS GETTING READY FOR WORK. this is who i am as a person now and there's no going back. it's so rare for me to find a character that i don't even necessarily connect with in all ways (though i do, i see bits of myself in him and love him all the more for it) that gets me quite like this. bakugou and rise, for example, my other two biggest faves in the universe, i see myself in so much. there has never been two characters i related to more than those two. and yet i think my love for childe rivals both of them. isn't that funny? i just. i really love him, y'all.
congrats to childe tartaglia ajax genshin impact for existing. so happy you're here and can't wait to have a collection of you that rivals my frickin bakugou collection (which for anyone who is interested is so large i need three ita bags to properly show off just my keychains/pins of him). i love you so much and your birthday is now a national holiday to me. muah muah let's go fuck up shit in inazuma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
joshneku is so good y'all. idk how to explain it. they're so NOT GOOD for each other but yet at the end of the day, understand each other the best out of everyone. the loneliness, the knowing that nobody will ever be able to truly reach them the way they want to... they acknowledge it when everyone else around them seems to want to deny it. to pretend that it doesn't matter. and neku manages to turn that around into a positive in his mind - no longer is it terrifying that nobody will ever fully understand, it's wonderful. it's a wonderful world (lol) full of so many people and different ideas and each one can help you grow. and because he has seen both sides, he's able to change joshua.. make him want to see what shibuya still has to offer. UGH. I LOVE IT. IT'S SO INCREDIBLE AND I JUST LOVE THEM. SO MUCH.
i'm working on another joshneku piece that i'm trying to get out before ntwewy completes ruins my theories lmfao so we'll see if that goes well.... knowing me and joshneku it'll be way too long, as usual. sigh. also the ntwewy demo is a great time. highly encourage.
and once again, if you've only WATCHED twewy instead of PLAYING IT, please play the og game. it's so much more detailed and there's so so much you're missing through just watching the anime.... so many important character moments. it's also so accessible considering it has a damn mobile port lol please just play twewy oh my god.
big shout out to dina for being the one to get me invested in this game after so many years hahahahaa.....now here we are........having me do nothing but make this for like 6 hours.....................
also ofc big shout out to kyle who despite not caring about any of this continuously listens to me talk about how much i love joshneku lmao
ok peace
aaaaaaaaaaaaa where to start where to start.......when i first saw 86 i was excited, but like i am for like..normal seasonal shows. i was expecting it to be similar to things like sk8 or horimiya for me, where i watch and enjoy and then move on with my life. but then i watched the first two episodes and i knew that this series was something special....
and then episode 4 aired and i was FLOORED. all over again. so i forced my husband to sit down and rewatched all 4 episodes with him and then kyle too understood. 86 isn't just good, it isn't just great, it really is /special/. we literally couldn't even watch our other show last night after ep 11 bc we were too emotional. ep 10 made us both cry even though i KNEW what was coming. the level of care that asato asato has written this series with is unbelievable, and a1 treated it with the love it deserved. i quickly blazed through the light novels that are out in english rn, have number 8 on preorder... i'm so obsessed. it's absolutely a stunning piece of media, and i really, really beg anyone who hasn't watched it yet to give it a chance. the first cour just ended, so it's a really good time to pick it up. i promise you, you won't be disappointed!!!!
anyways, shinlena. shinlena is just so..... oh gosh.
LIGHT NOVEL SPOILERS AHEAD.
"it's because you were there i escaped the eighty-sixth sector." OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD WHEN I TELL YOU I STRAIGHT UP CRIED. I DID. i was trying to pace myself and read the volumes within 3-4 days instead of in 1 sitting like usual...... but i literally read 7 in one sitting bc i could not. and the ending. THE ENDING. SHIN'S CONFESSION. THEY ARE SO IN LOVE AND IT HURTS ME SO MUCH. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH "YOUR BEING THERE MADE ME BELIEVE THAT I SHOULD LIVE ON" MADE ME FEEL. TOO MUCH. TOO MANY THINGS.
these two people, who desperately want to understand each other, who have given one another a reason to keep fighting and a reason to come back alive.... oh my god. i really cannot stress enough how much i adore them. lena's development over the series is some of the best i've EVER seen. she goes from a spoiled brat who, while genuinely wanting to help the 86, doesn't really truly understand... and then she learns. shin and the spearhead squadron give her the space to grow, they hold her accountable, and she listens. and she continues to learn and to grow and to fall and get back up again when she's stuck.
and shin, oh my god, shin. this poor child went from someone who had nothing left in the world to live for to questioning whether he even deserved a right to want anything. to want for happiness, for a future he could show to lena.... and when he finally accepts it, it's so beautiful. he's fully accepted that he might know nothing but war right now, and maybe he hates the world a little for it, but if people like lena exist, if people like lena can still see such a horrible reality as still wonderful, then he wants to learn, too. he wants to see that same world that she sees, right by her side. and in order to make it to that place, he knows he has to change. he knows he can't keep living as if he's already dead. so for her, he tries.
and oh god i'm gonna cry again just thinking about it. they so deeply want to help the other, so much so that they can't help the way they rely on each other.
sometimes i think back to that scene in volume... 4, i think, where they're finally together again after 2 years, and shin just holds her as she cries. and i think that's when it really hit me just how much of a profound impact these two had, and will continue to have on each other. lena was the first person who followed shin after he'd left her behind. she was the only one who caught up to him, chased after him and /made it/. it's so beautiful and oh god i'm crying again.
anyways, please watch 86. please read 86!!! this series is really so special. it deserves all of the love. i can't wait to edit more of these two when the second cour airs (here's hoping they jump into vol 4 pretty early on LOL..... i want that hug animated and i want it now!!!)!!!
see y'all whenever
its joshneku emo hours in this house BITCH!!!!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOSHUA YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU FUCKING BASTARD OF A MAN I AM SO EMOTIONAL WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is this how dina felt in episode 3 when they did That to shiki bc i am Feeling It Now i am going to listen to neku screaming for josh for 10 hours straight please apologize to kyle everyone bc while you only have to deal with me in the description, he has to deal with this for the rest of the week.
edit that day is today bc i read 100k words of lucathy last night until 3am and now i'm Emotional
twewy anime has issues but if i didn't lose my mind during episode 6 i would absolutely be lying to you all, joshua is such a good fuckin character and i am living for seeing him fully animated with kimura's voice........... they got to the "you can't understand other people" talk today and i lost my mind again. i said it back when i first played through and i'll say it again media that show my world views in an easy to digest way? sign me the fuck up twewy handles its subject matter SO WELL and i DIE.
anyways joshua is so GOOD i am so happy i love him SO MUCH joshneku are just. chefs kiss they're so ANGRY i forgot how hostile neku was with him and how fuckin creepy josh was and GOD the end of ep 6 with the FEATHERS and the reveal that he's not a true player AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA god joshneku!!!!!! joshneku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to go reread some fave fics now bc mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. otp. i love them. they're so perfect. the toxicity that leads to real genuine growth and understanding between them is so beautiful i want them to be in love and be angry about it twewy is just. i love this game SO MUCH. can't wait to edit more joshneku i got a WHOLE PLAYLIST READY TO GO.
ok bye
anyways. can't believe it's been two years, now. two years and i still remember exactly the way i felt that day, when i found out we didn't make it in time. when i found out you were gone.
i miss you more then words can describe. i hate how much of our time together i took for granted. i hate that i wasn't there for you in the way you needed me to be, in the way i would've been had i known. i hate that you probably left this world thinking that all you were was a burden. i hate that you're no longer here for me to tell you how much i love you, how much we all love you, how you made my life brighter just by existing. how you were one of the best friends i've ever had.
how i would've dropped everything to get to you that day. to get you out of that dark place in your mind. but now you're not here, and i can never tell you again, or thank you, or just talk with you.
i think about it so often. how nice it would be, just for one day, to be able to tell you everything. all the things you've missed in the last two years - did you know i got married? did you know i got a new job? did you know cresty died, and todd died, and how i wish you had been there for everything and all of it? how i wish i could've seen you graduate, how i wish i could've watched you grow. how i wish i would've gotten to continue sharing things with you, listening to you talk all day about anything and everything, and how grateful i was that i had met someone like you. even if you were a world away. even if you were still struggling, like i used to.
i can only hope you knew how proud of you i was. how proud of you i still am, that you made it as far as you did. did you know how much you'd be missed? did you know how many sleepless nights i'd spend, wishing that you were still here? did you know that after two years, i'd still miss you just as much as the day you died?
the world keeps moving. time keeps ticking. and i still have to live with the fact that you aren't here. that you don't get to experience change and you won't ever get to know how your own life would've turned out. that i will never get to see you in full bloom.
i don't know. i just miss you. i feel like i say the same things on repeat, every time, but they're still the only thoughts i have. this feeling will never really go away. the hole you left when you killed yourself. the space in my heart that was reserved just for you will always remain that way, i think.
and i'd like to think i'm doing better. that most days, i think of you happily. that i am glad for the time we got to know each other and am grateful for our friendship, even if it was cut short. but sometimes the weight of you is crushing. sometimes it feels like you've taken every bone out of my body and replaced them with acid. sometimes i can't do anything but breathe, and even that can be a struggle.
but even on those days, even today, i am glad we got to experience life together, for however long. that somehow, despite all odds, we got to connect. i'm always so thankful that i had the pleasure of being your friend. i just hope i was as good to you as you were to me.
thank you, hope, for everything. see you again someday.
(also huge shout out to kyle (haha we're married now. wild) for fixing the voice overs here for me. and for listening to me not shut up about childe for, uh, almost three months straight now. so sorry)
anyways yeah i used his eng voice here bc griffin is AMAZING and i need to appreciate him to. and his shenanigans are important to me as they keep me sane on my long hard days at work. put his childe minaj rap as my ringtone and everything :pensive:
but anyways x2
man its always such a treat for me when a character hits all the right spots THIS HARD for me but its so rare that i become this hyperfixated............... vrains and mha were really the last two things to get me quite this obsessed lmao. i literally think about childe all day every day...... this quiet kid from snezhnaya feeling stagnant and wanting to gain the courage it takes to seek out adventure gets swallowed up by hell itself and comes out of it a chaotic mess of a person. and i just. man. MAN. everything about him is just.... so perfect. i love him. i love him so much literally every time i open my mouth lately i somehow don't even realize it but i force everyone in my vicinity to listen to me talk about childe
even my COWORKERS know who this piece of shit bastard man is. even before i got a new phone with a childe phone case i somehow wouldn't shut up enough even at work full of normal people who judge me jokingly for staying up and playing video games all the time are like "oh mitzi i saw a picture of that boy you like on twitter today" and shit. oh my god its so embarassing i wanted to DIE when that happened thats how much i physcially cannot shut UP about childe!!!!! do you understand what i mean!!!!!
he's so pretty. he;s so pretty and stupid and i hate him so much puts my head in my hands. childe..........................................good. good boy. i'm so in love with u bastard man................
anyways i'll devolve into absolutely nothing but screaming and crying abouot him soon so i'mma disappear into the void again if i havent' gotten back to you or missed a deadline im sorry im like this lmao work is busy and i am Tired most of the time.
so yeah stan childe. tartaglia. ajax piece of shit genshin impact water man. also stan chilumi also for good luck on your xiao pulls
bye
but yeah here we are. the rest of my parts in 2020
my improvement here really varies. some of these parts i think i did really well with but overall i think i was doing better earlier in 2020 before, well, you know lol
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well. editing is a hobby first and foremost, and i am here to Have Fun and Make People Look At My Favorite Ships, and that's all
no, really,
please know that every time i upload, it is solely to force you to look at my favorite things, and nothing more
anyways, here's to a hopefully better year! if anyone wants to co-op the cryo regisvine in dragonspine........... hmu. hate that thing. shout out to red for staying with me through like THREE OR FOUR TRIES TO BEAT IT bc we are Bad. also shoutout to that random klee who carried tf out of us for like 6 runs afterwards. wouldn't have gotten the items from the shop without you
like literally not a bad new years joke LMAO
so uh here's this! the other part of the year will be up tomorrow. at the beginning of the year i sure was editing a lot of good ships. good for me
i'm still editing, just not nearly as much at this point... which, in mitzi speak, that means a few parts a month instead of like literally 3+ a week LOL
idk man. at this point i'm just floating through life........i have no say in anything. the universe is a mysterious beast and i'm just here to play genshin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
oh so since its now 2021, some highlights of the shitty awful thing that was 2020:
- i got married
- i got a job i actually like most of the time
- this was a stellar year for video games
- i wrote some things i liked
thats uh. thats basically it lol. thanks 2020, very cool
i know you've only met most of us this year (has it really only been since march??? wild) but you've become such a good friend to all of us, i knew i had to host the pcs classic for you too~
thank you for joining our lil fam and for always lending your support and love! you are such a wonderful person who we are all blessed to know. i'm so grateful red invited you to our server and that you were comfortable enough to accept, bc really, i'm so happy you've become my friend. i can't wait to spend many more years with you!!!! you really are such a kind and caring person, even though you haven't known us very long we all feel the love and energy you put into helping us and always listening.. i can't even tell you how much it's meant to all of us to have you as a friend. crazy to believe that only back in like early april you and i were talking for the first time so you could join red's bday mep lmao... i'm so so happy that you stuck around. you always listen to me whenever i message you and i'm so thankful for that lmao i'm sorry i'm always like that orz.. but thank you for caring about me always. i love you!!!!!
anyways we hope you like this lil thing hehe. we love you very much and hope you have a wonderful day today!!!!! when i get home from work tonight let's do domains or smth :D you deserve all the love and relaxation today!!!!!
1 - EndOwl || dimigard [fe3h]
2 - Red the Mudkip || sonamy + tailsmo [sonic x]
3 - me || samewada + kaeluc [watgbs + genshin]
4 - Xx Danger-Chan Xx || atsukyou [bsd]
5 - PokeLSouma || kanariko [love live sunshine]
6 - SilentStormfall || miyuki x kaguya [love is war]
everyone who has talked to me lately knows i'm incapable of shutting the fuck up about childe lmfao........i really can't stress enough how rare it is for me to fall THIS deep into something THIS FAST...............but i stg mhy literally looked inside my skull and said "we are going to make a fictional man that is So Perfectly mitzi's type and there's nothing she can do about it" and i said *opens wallet* absolutely you are. like seriously idk how to express this to y'all who aren't in pcs and don't have to literally watch me foam at the mouth every single day about him but like..........i'm sure my friends can attest to how much i just Do Not Shut Up on the childe news network.
(spoilers ahead)
he's just........so amazing y'all. he's so multifaceted. he went from being a timid, meek middle child in a loving family who sought adventure thanks to his father's stories to a warrior through and through. i saw someone say as a meme that his heart was so driven that even hell recognized it and swallowed him whole but like, really - he ran away from home hoping to find an adventure and got sucked into the abyss by pure chance, and came out the other side...different. not traumatized, not really, but thirsty for battle and chaos in a way that he wasn't before.
but despite his bloodlust, even despite the shift in him - no longer was he skittish, but confident, knowing that if there was a challenge he couldn't overcome he just had to get better - he still retained his humanity. he's with the fatui partially bc he wants the quickest way to battles, but because he respects the tsaritsa and desires the world she is trying to achieve, even if he disagrees with her less direct methods. he still loves his family more than anything in the world, and works hard to keep his brother (and the rest of them!!) out of the darker parts of both his work and the country they live in. he's extremely doting, almost excessively so, and in his story quest when he speaks to the traveler about his desire to protect teucer's dreams... there's so much sadness there, knowing that, like him, his baby brother won't be full of wonder and love for the world forever. and he wants to protect that for as long as he can. i think somewhat out of selfishness - the rest of his family knows he's a harbinger, and his father disapproves strongly implying the rest of the family might not be so happy with it either - but also out of a very, very genuine love for his brother and his brother's comfort. you can see it in his letter to tonia, too; how much he strives to make sure she knows how much he loves her and the rest of his family.
(spoilers over)
i could really go on and on and on about how wonderfully he's written and how many different aspects of him i love, but like, damn y'all would be here all fuckin day lmao...........i haven't loved a character this deeply since kacchan, and everyone around me knows how much i adore HIM with all my heart and soul (and wallet, lmao, whoops).
what i'm saying is childe can dm me any day of the week, bc i'm in love with him (and this ship). and also archiveofourown.org/works/27925861 read my chilumi fics, thanks
anyways, another year, another anniversary... can you believe we've been together for 9 whole years now? almost a full decade of you being my best friend in the universe, and 9 whole years of getting to love you every day.
the last few years i've made you something with more.. emotional songs, that represent more of the intimate parts of our relationship, but this year, i wanted to do something a little different! 2020 has sucked the life out of us lol so i figured something upbeat and fun might be a lil better hehe. plus, i think i've told you this before, but this song really reminds me of us, haha. i also used a bunch of different things! ships from series that we watched together and ships that really remind me of us. :D
but really... i never know what to write for these descriptions. never know what to tell you. i feel like there's never the right words to be able to tell you, though i know you already know, how grateful i am every day that i get to spend my life with you. not just because of what you do for me, how you manage to not only put up with my absolute bullshit every single day of my life but encourage it lmao, how you have always been my rock no matter what... but because of who you are. i'm truly, truly blessed to know you, and even more so that i get to be around you so much. thank you for being here with me. thank you for loving me, still, all these years later.
no matter how much we change, no matter what we go through, i know i'll always have you. and i hope you know the same is true. you've always just... been it, for me. thank you for giving me something to celebrate every morning. after 9 years, waking up to you is still one of the happiest moments of my day. even when i'm miserable at work, even when i'm exhausted and just want to sit and play genshin for 7 straight hours until 3 in the morning, no matter what... knowing that you're here gives me a reason to smile.
i love you. happy anniversary, nerd.
DL: jan 20th
AUDIO: sendspace.com/file/qoy25y
COLOR SCHEME: sendspace.com/file/iqv6pj
STYLE: fx/candy!!! follow the COLOR SCHEME!!!!!! lil bits of raw are ok at certain sections tho
RULES;
- not first come first serve. pickiness may vary since idk how many people. actually want to join this lol
- KEEP YOUR FILES. i might give you feedback and ask you to change some things
- if you don't follow the color scheme i'll straight up replace you lmao
- don't cut your own audio!!!! if you need it cut lmk!!
- ships can repeat once~ anything goes, idc
- lmk if you're up for taking a second part if this doesn't fill up
- green screens at the END only!!!! otherwise leave a little bit of FOOTAGE (not black screen) at the end of your part
- sendspace/discord/mediafire literally anything but a fckn youtube link thanks lmao
FORM:
username:
top 3 parts:
top 3 ships:
intro - mine unless someone wants it
1 - strawberry roses || kaeya/diluc
2 - Yumever || xiao/lumine
3 - Red the Mudkip || aether/lumine
4 - Tekilex || xingqiu/chongyun
5 - xanmoyux || zhongli/ningguang
6 - mine || childe/lumine
7 - strawberry roses || zhongli/keqing
8 - Red the Mudkip || childe/zhongli
9 - mine || diluc/jean
10 - Acinit || childe/kaeya
11 - mine || albedo/sucrose
12 - XXLucyXChan || childe/lumine
13 - Yumever || venti/lumine
14 - xLawdeLover || aether/xiangling
15 - Reirichi || fischl/bennett
16 - illumisanisthatu || aether/xiao [DONE]
outro - mine unless someone wants it
but it's here
anyways there was a part someone i think might've finished but youtube deleted the comment and then i couldn't find it and youtube was. well being yt about it. you all know how this goes. i don't know what else was replacements or what this mep was hosted so long ago LMAO............but it's done and its wonderful thanks for putting up with this wack color scheme but it came out well i think
ANYWAYS i hope y'all enjoy the finished product i'll be hosting smth small soon bc i have a Vision
1 - cosmicSOUL || the gray garden / chelan x dialo
2 - PokeLSouma || zero escape / junpei x clover
3 - Red the Mudkip || persona / pegokita
4 - xShelly || pokemon / milo x nessa
5 - Red the Mudkip || tloz / zelink
6 - trainerlyra || piofiore / nicolili
7 - trainerlyra || puyo puyo / schezo x arle
8 - EndOwl || splatoon / agent 38
9 - Red the Mudkip || sonic / silvamy
10 - D. KillerGhost || norn9 / shiranui nanami x shukuri akito
11 - EndOwl || fire emblem / edeleth
12 - EndOwl || shining resonance refrain /
13 - SilentStormfall || twewy / neku x shiki
14 - HyliaHope || octopath traveler / alfion
15 - trainerlyra || gbf / sandjeeta
16 - PokeLSouma || mass effect / shepherd x liara
17 - trainerlyra || genshin impact / chilumi
first things first, here's our messages to you!:
docs.google.com/document/d/1ZDpsJ4PenFSmiCTiYjBv9h__l46iuSVJ8rhdgPOpoAk
next up, another big HAPPY BIRTHDAY WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! it's your birthday!!!! i can't believe how many (or how few lol) of these we've been able to share together!!! i'm truly blessed to have known you and had you in my life for so long. and i know everyone else feels the same! you've really come a long way and we're all so proud of you, and today is your day!!! thank you so much for being our friend, for your love and kindness and for just... being you, every single day. you mean the world to me, and i'm sure everyone feels the same way. i hope this makes you smile today!!!
1 - Farye || hachiyui / oregairu
2 - SilentStormfall || checkmateshipping / pkmn bw
3 - me || sayohina / bandori
4 - Red the Mudkip || shumaki / persona 1
5 - me || shuann / persona 5
6 - Xx Danger-Chan Xx || izuyama / eromanga
7 - Red the Mudkip || moonringshipping / pkmn bw2
8 - PokeLSouma || shirou/rin / fate/stay ubw
9 - PokeLSouma || subaram / re:zero
10 - strawberry roses || nozohono / love live
11 - Acinit || pearlshipping / pokeani
12 - strawberry roses || kanachika / love live
13 - Red the Mudkip || asushin / nge
outro - Red the Mudkip || joker x the guy who sits behind him / persona 5
i know you are almost definitely expecting this, but happy birthday, rowan!!!! this year, our lil pcs collabs have grown so much bigger - and i'm so happy about it! it went from just the four of us to so many... sniff our little fam has gotten so big, all thanks to you!
the big doc is in the other upload, so i'll just say a few things here:
thank you so much for being my friend, rowan! we all love you so much and are so grateful you get to be part of our lives!!! thank you for being you, and i hope you get to enjoy this special day!!!!! you deserve all of the love today (and every day!!!!!!), happy birthday!!!!
and thanks to the pcs crew for joining me in this!!!! as always lol.
1 - Red the Mudkip || madomami / madoka
2 - Xx Danger-Chan Xx || subaru x ram / re:zero
3 - me || hachiyui / oregairu
4 - me || shirou x rin / fate: ubw
5 - strawberry roses || lenrin / vocaloid
6 - PokeLSouma || asushin / nge
7 - SilentStormfall || shuann / persona 5
for kyle who not only has to watch me meltdown over him daily in pcs but ALSO has the added bonus of watching me do it irl every day, i am even MORE sorry
(but also, thank you for fixing my voice over here.....i owe you my life)
anyways, uh
i can't even give you any reasonable explanation. red shows me hot akeshu amv with this song. my brain immediately goes "oh but what if childe" and boom. tada
anyways i'm off to play more genshin and cry over this asshole. peace
genshin impact was not supposed to be like this. i was supposed to just play casually and have fun with the cute waifus and husbandos. i was not supposed to become so obsessed with one stupid asshole and COMPLETELY LOSE MY SANITY OVER HIM. WHY!!!!!!!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!!! HOW COULD THEY MAKE A CHARACTER SO EXTREMELY TARGETED TOWARDS ME AND ME SPECIFICALLY!!!!!! I'M SO ANGRY!!!!!!!
it's so bad. it's so bad y'all. i have not known peace since i first laid eyes upon him. childe tartaglia genshin impact please dm me. i cried when i pulled him. i shrieked so loud i don't even want to talk about it anymore its EMBARASSING.
so yes. this lazy edit is partially bc chilumi is a FANTASTIC ship and no i won't shut up about THEM either, like actually hello new otp i am obsessed (ps i crave validation on everything i write so here's this archiveofourown.org/works/27565162) but ALSO bc he has stolen my heart. completely. i hate him
imgur.com/a/B4XIPtp this is literally me every single day since i met him. i hate him.
rowan managed to make their part so cute in 20 mins and i'm jealous lmao mine is SUCH a mess. i'm just glad i managed to get scenes actually like. on the project pff
thanks for suggesting this bb ily and hate you sm!!!!!!!
part 1: rowan/ EndOwl
part 2: me/trainerlyra
sub to my bestie: youtube.com/channel/UCQxUzTZAy51jsHmpF1uEoUw
it makes me so, so happy to see how many people still love and want to celebrate this ship after so many years! every year i'm amazed, tbh, and it really brings me happiness in these trying times :' D pokeship is just so much fun, and we've had a lot of really amazing things happen with the ship over the last few years.. who ever thought we'd get not one, but two misty returns in alola!? i'm still reeling!!!!!
but anyways.. trouble is was SO HARD but so much fun to edit!!!! thanks so much to dicey for hosting it, seriously, i cannot tell y'all how amazing the full mep is. just... go watch it, lmao, might be one of my favorite projects i've ever been in!!! everyone did so well with the theme, and everyone's love for pokeship + how much fun they had with the theme really shines.
and trainers in love!!! it's not up yet, but soon..... it's sad that it'll be FDS' last project, but i'm so thankful that the studio existed at all! thanks so much to lilly for all her years of running it, and hopefully you don't ever stop editing these two nerds lmao
2020 may keep on throwing as much shit as possible, but i hope all the pokeship love brightens up your week!! thanks to everyone who helps keep this ship alive after so many years. y'all are the real mvps
anyways. red if you watch this before you finish week 3 i Will Cry
ANYWAYS. i really wanted to wait until the anime to make this, but alas, twewy hyperfixation aint going anywhere, so here i am!!!! i will make a longer cut of this with the anime i'm sure but for now...........take this with game cutscenes lol. which are. incredibly difficult to get what i want out of lmao
as i type this, i'm wearing my joshua sweater, while i have my joshneku coaster next to me, while i look at my joshneku sticker that i put on my laptop. that's where i am rn y'all.
i keep telling everyone who will listen but media that support my life philosophy and try to teach it to others Make Me Happy. it's why nge is still such a huge fave!!!! the idea that nobody will ever fully understand another person, but that it doesn't have to be a bad thing, and it just means that by accepting that you can be free to connect with others and learn and grow and teach others the way you see things? love that shit. for a lot of people its a hard thing to fully understand, that you will never truly know someone, because their reality is only theirs, but, man, i think its important, and i lovelovelove when something portrays it in such a positive light like in twewy!!! yeah the world ends with me - but it begins with me, too! i love that!!!! i could def go on and on but. nobody cares about these thoughts lol (shout out to kyle who lets me voice them constantly anyways)
OH and ALSO, not only did twewy give me THAT, it gave me joshneku. it gave me two people who have such similar views of the world and the people around them and morph and change themselves which changes EACH OTHER to the point where at the end of everything, joshua takes the shot and STILL gives shibuya back. LOVE THAT. LOVE THEM. UUUUUUGH. THEY ARE PERFECT. AND I AM STILL NOT OVER THIS GAME A MONTH LATER!!!!!!!! GODDDDDD!!!!!!!!!
anyways Peace Out. i'll be around maybe
AAAAAAAAAA I CANT EVEN TALK THIS JUST CAME OUT SO BEAUTIFULLY???? like earlier this week (i think. time isnt real) lena was like "someone collab kawoshin with me i wanna edit them" and i'm always a slut for kawoshin so here we are
first off, thanks so much lena for putting this together and handling most of it!!! it's much appreciated and i'll handle our next collab since you've handled the last two lol ilysm and also extra thank you for letting me post while you're at work pff
second off AAAAAAAAAA HER PARTS ARE BEUATIFUL???? LOOK AT THEM????? PLEASE????? god sometimes i forget how much i adore these two and then i look at them and get Sad. kawoshin is so tragic and beautiful and you can pry the "every iteration of nge is just kaworu trying to save shinji" from my cold dead hands
anyways i always love collabing with lena she is so talented and i adore every second of knowing her!!!!! i hope y'all enjoy this lil thing and see y'all......eventually pff
part 1: me
part 2: lena
part 3: me
part 4: lena
to quote the notes of my joshneku fic the other day, *shows up to this fandom 13 years late with starbucks* not mitzi once again falling for the inherit eroticism of partners/rivals where one of them shoots the other in the face or has anything to do with guns in general, thanks vrains
so yeah here we are!!!!! over the years dina got me really interested in finally playing twewy, then the switch port happened but i got distracted by other things, then lena played it for dina and really liked it, and then the anime announcement happened and i was finally like. "damn ok guess i better play" so i played it. thinking it would just be a fun, quick lil game to enjoy and then i could move on with my life
i could not, in fact, move on with my life. sighs loudly (shameless promo for my 10k oneshot of joshneku bs archiveofourown.org/works/26906320)
anyways. joshneku got me bad. idk why i edited this other than practice for smth coming soon (wink wink) idk why i chose this song. but it made me laugh lol. they're so good y'all. they're so much fun but also angsty. i'm so obsessed...........i cannot stop thinking about Them. so expect more bc. biggest oof ever. hyperfixations sure are a real thing and boy do i suffer
anyways in actuality i've had this project in my head for sooooo long and i've been working on it off and on for quite awhile now.. i tried to sit down and finish it the other week but life and stuff so here it is today!!! the idea is that i wanted to use scenes that only took place canonically during season 1 or before, which is why bb dss was allowed pff. this song is just like, literally the dss anthem of s1??? i mean i could genuinely pick out any lyrics and y'all would agree but here are some i picked at random to demonstrate my point:
"But would you leave me
If I told you what I've done
And would you leave me
If I told you what I've become"
LIKE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU COULD LITERALLY CHOOSE ANYTHING!!!!!!!
anyways, real talk, i could probably go on a huge rant about why datastorm is amazing and why their relationship is so beautiful but i'm sure y'all are sick of me talking about them at this point lmfao so instead:
in the comments send me songs to add to my spotify dss playlist!! and potentially give me things to edit with :3c
anyways!!!!! this was HIGHKEY inspired by lena's video that she made me for my birthday this year- youtube.com/watch?v=q4JVRdCK6Pc
please please PLEASE watch this, it's so beautiful, i literally cried over it when i saw it that morning and almost a month later i still rewatch it far too often bc lena is WAY TOO TALENTED and seeing her edit my otp is really too much for my heart. i really have the best friends in the world, y'all
anyways x2, she had mentioned she'd love to see someone else's take on dss with the same song bc it really does fit them a little too much (like seriously i cannot express this enough once i was listening to this on my way home from work recently and NYOOMED to my laptop as soon as i came through the door to start writing. it's so THEM), so i decided what the hell and did this lil thing! it's not nearly as gorgeous as lena's, since this is like, really raw and i tried not to use toooooo many of the same scenes as her (lmfao at THAT failed attempt) but i had fun editing it and that's what matters!!!!! i love revsaku and i love crying over them and that's what this vid gave me!!!!!!
i also want to talk about that one scene where ryoken sees yusaku for the first time and just smiles to himself and how everyone thought he was going to rat him out to his dad but instead he really literally just smiled bc he was looking at the real yusaku, not playmaker, and i just.........i think about that a lot ok
anyways, it's still the 25th so let's see if i can speed finish this oneshot (spoilers: i definitely can't bc god knows i can no longer write anything under 5k) and/or finish this other project that i have (spoilers: probably, actually, it's almost done)......................yay vrains!!!!!!!
from november 2018 to whenever i did that part in 2020, here are all my dss parts/mep part length edits! now i'm gonna ramble about how much vrains means to me, so feel free to ignore the rest of this and just marvel at how much dss i fuckin edit lol
it is no exaggeration when i say that vrains changed my life. it's not often a piece of media resonates with me quite so strongly, i can literally count it on one hand, but vrains was more than just that somehow. it brought me closer to so many of my close friends, irl and online. it brought me new hobbies, new creative goals for myself -- it brought me the ability to let go and just enjoy what i was doing. vrains helped me start moving past the things that had plagued me for years. vrains gave me characters that i could connect with and love, and some of its heartfelt messages, regardless of if they'd been repeated in other series, finally stuck with me in a way that i don't think another series could replicate.
i really can't even describe to you how much this little ol' show has helped me over the last few years. how i went from a person being consumed by their trauma without a way to move forward to someone who now looks to the future instead of the past. i don't want to get too personal, but please know i really genuinely cannot overstate how much this series and these characters have helped me grow into the person i want to be. i owe so much of my happiness to vrains.
but it's not even just that! it's not even about how much vrains has helped me, it's about what an amazing story there was to be told, the amazing characters we got to meet and watch grow. vrains was by no means a perfect show or a perfect send off to studio gallop, but it is now without a doubt my favorite series of all time. i will carry on this story and these characters with me for the rest of my life. and i do mean that literally, since i have the knights of hanoi symbol tattooed near my heart lol.
anyone who talks to me on a semi regular basis, irl or online, knows how much i can't shut up about this show. about how amazing my favorite characters are. about how much i adore dss. there's a reason for it, i promise. if you're subscribed to me and you haven't at least given vrains a try, i strongly, strongly encourage you to do so. maybe you'll be as surprised as i was.
i love vrains. i love vrains with all my heart. i can't even believe it's really been a year since it ended. i miss getting up on wednesdays to watch and cry over on twitter or on discord. i miss trying to guess where things would go, who would duel next, and watching everyone's incredible development. i miss it every day. but there's so many people who feel the same way as i do, who love this show with everything they've got, and create so much amazing content to keep it alive in our hearts. thanks to everyone who creates for vrains, fanfic, amvs, art, meta, memes, everything. i can't wait to see what everyone has in store for today!
as i said this isn't my only upload of the day, but i woke up late and i gotta get ready for work lol. i theoretically also have a fanfic to publish, if i can manage to finish it in time pff, but in the meantime, i have 30 published vrains fics if you're interested lmao archiveofourown.org/users/trainerlyra/works?fandom_id=15391182
that's all for now! long live vrains and if you managed to read this far........ thank you lmfao
shadowverse:
me:
me:
me: aw shit, here we go again
lmao anyways yeah i got pulled into shadowverse hell..............god dammit these two are just. baby datastorm and i'm here for it. less angsty, baby dss. i love it. wholesome. just what i need when i am sad over dss. which is every day.
i actually initially wanted to edit this song with dss, and i might still someday, but i have another dua lipa song in mind that. i'd really like to edit with them sometime soon.......................anyways it's midnight so i gotta. go to sleep lmao just take this stupid thing please just take it. my wrists hurt from masking LOL but gotta do it for them.......hiro x lucia (luca??? hiro x luca??? idk anymore) good. can't wait to redownload gbf so i can grab the kiddos