knives and bones. xmercimissALICE 2014-06-11 | | I can hold the weight of the worldsif that's what you needbe your everything |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Theme: There will always be people that we want to make proud, that we can't stand to disappoint. We want to be everything for them and do whatever it takes to make them happy, even if it's bad for oneself or unhealthy. You want to get good grades, get into a good school, get a good job, be prettier, be smarter, whatever it takes. But you're only human, and sometimes you just can't please everyone and you should never feel like you aren't good enough because of one person. Some people just expect too much, and you can't be that for them. A lot of times no one can, it's important to understand that it's nothing wrong that you did but maybe more an inner conflict with that person or they just aren't a good person. It's okay to want to do better for people and to try and make them happy, but there is a fine line when enough is enough and you can't handle the world and you shouldn't fall apart of feel less about yourself because of it - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -the theme is really relevant in my life right nowand maybe i'll be able to vid about it more because I finally have a laptop nowthis is my part for cms human mepit's nothing too fancy but I haven't uploaded anything in awhile so here's something to show i'm still alive haha
torn up. xmercimissALICE 2014-04-16 | | something filled upmy heart with nothingsomeone told me not to cry |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Theme: We all repress past experiences, problems, emotions. We bottle them up. We sit around and wait for things to change and get better or we wait for things to go back to how they once were. But it doesn't always work out like that. You have to let things go, move on, heal. You have to face them. You can't carry on that way. Things won't better on their own. And if something changes, it won't ever be the same. You have to come to terms with your problems and face them.my part for cms I hand pick all of the songs and type up all of the themes myselfbut idk this oneI was really feeling this onelike it needed to happenand this songand justso I really like my partand i'm still alivejust busyI wish I had more time to make videos but I do what I canso anywayregarding the video and the themei guess i've been on this roller coaster of battling with depression and it went away for awhile and then came back pretty hard a few months ago and everything was really hard and stressful and I was holding on to everything that ever hurt me and just making it worsebut i've managed to let a lot of it go and very suddenly, I was happy againso I hope it continues on this way but i'm happy now and I felt like this was just something important for everyone to try to grasp and work with. I guess this past year since being broken up with i've grown a lot as a person and was really happy with myself. But there were certainly a lot of things I needed to work on and a lot of times when I would get lonely, I would throw myself at boys.In the past few months I pulled myself out of my depression again and I've come to really like the woman I am now. I'm breaking up with guys because they don't love me and they don't treat me well, and I'm not putting up with as much shit anymore. I respect myself a lot more and I like my body and my attitude and I also still really like sleeping with people and I know that's okay too and now i'm doing it because I want to and not because i'm lonely. I'm just really happy with who I am now I guess and I know not everyone from my past really sees it and I still have a long way to go but I've figured out a lot about myself these past few months and i've met some great people and lost some people too.And that's all okay.
absence of words. xmercimissALICE 2014-03-04 | | I'll be the one,if you want me to |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -we would have sat therein silenceif I had let usbut insteadI tore out my heart- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -i'm happy now, so why is it still about you?
postcards to a ghost xmercimissALICE 2014-02-26 | | And all of the time you thought I was sadI was trying to remember your name |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -It took a month of not speaking to youand when you finally chose to againfor me to realize I had almost forgiven youand with moving onand deleting all of our picturesand letting you goand never listening to those songsI used to listen to with youand started to because of youbut there's not a lot of time that goes bywhere I don't miss youand it seemed funnyand a little bit sad to methat I had been so heartbrokenover this boy three years younger than meand he was doing just finelike every other timebut he just mattered so muchthat I looked for pieces of himin each and everythingand wondered if he still missed meand thought of meit took a month without speaking to himbecause I told him never to talk to me againwhen I was mad and he listenedit took a monthand when I saw his namewhen I had so desperately wanted to see it beforeit didn't fill with me that relieving happiness anymorejust some sort of painand I knew that there wasn't a place left for him anymoreI fell in love with a boyand never loved anyone quite like I love youbut you never could make up your mindand you forgot the color of my eyeswhen I was sure that yours were greenaside from picturesI never see your face anymoreand you stopped callingso I don't hear from youI watched you growand changein the short time that we were togetherand now I hardly recognize youbut you still liveabout 15 minutes awayon the town that I grew up inin your nice houseyou're just a boywho's a cowardand runs awayyou could never tell me anythinguntil you were drunkand I know that you hatethat I drink more nowand that I used to throw myself at boysthe first time we broke upbut you're just a boyand now you are a ghostand I am still doing my bestto let go from loving a ghost
thats fine. xmercimissALICE 2014-01-26 | | And I heard you said one timethat I never even fucking cross your mindand I guess I'll act like that's just finebut you should know you cross mine all the time |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I think it was finally time for me to address the break up. And that I'm in love with you and I miss you every day and I think of you every dayand you're okay and you're fine without meand you'll always be fineand also, i'm sorry for the lack of videosit's just hard with two jobs and everything
clairvoyant. xmercimissALICE 2013-11-19 | | The way that you left me, is alrightit's alright |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I know thatthe world won't always be lovelyand you won't always be thereyou won't always be goldentelling me how wonderful love isstaying positivesometimesyou'll be so very apathetic so disinterestedin meand this lovely world around usand you won't always see ithow you see itbut I promised i'd be therei'd hold your handwhen you hated everythingwhen nothing seemed beautifuland you didn't care at allbut I guess you noticedand if you say that you're tryingand you'll do better from now onand this is really just how you arethen that's okayi'll be more independentlet you go off on your own I won't give upeven if you do againand you decide that we simply can't worki'll always love youand i'll always be hereholding your handas your best friendwho sees the world in youI was happy before youand I can be happy on my own, eventuallybut I want to be happy with you- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -a little bit of a ventI know it's been like over a month since i uploaded somethingand I wish I could upload multiple things a day like the good old daysbut sadly I have two jobsand a boyfriend that i'd like to see as much as possibleand I'm using my roommates laptopAND WE DON'T HAVE A LAPTOP MOUSE??so i'm doing the best I canand I still love making videosI just don't have as much time as before
wires of the brain. xmercimissALICE 2013-10-05 | | I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear, that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I meanI just really like la disputeand I didn't want to go another month without uploading somethingI WAS A BIT IFFY ON THIS I THOUGHT IT WOULD TURN OUT AWFULbut i really like it yahthis song makes me sad in placesmost of their songs do
our hearts. xmercimissALICE 2013-09-13 | | And when we sing our songs right, will they sing along? And when we tell our stories, will they speak the truth? |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - just wanting to state here that I am not sad or anything and this is not a ventI JUST REALLY LOVE THIS BAND AND WANTED TO MAKE A VIDEOI am doing well and happy!i'm not sure I super love this or anythingbut I wanted to upload something for you all!
wasted love. xmercimissALICE 2013-09-02 | | Come on, skinny lovewhat happened here? |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Theme: Being with someone because you need help and not because you really need to be with them. You are desperate and you want it to work but it can't. It is untrue. It is not nourished. you do not need each other. You are trying to hold on to a feeling that is not there- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -here is my late part for catalyst miracles studiobecause life is hectic and I work two jobsand I also have a boyfriend now like wow righti'm so sorry I haven't uploaded anything in awhileI started a project but the laptop it was on broke!i'm going to try to get more things up it's just very hard since my schedule is so tightanyways on to the videoi've always felt really attached to this songand I always really wanted to make a video for itthe theme I typed up for it was as close to the actual meaning of the song as I could getand though it was about relations and love and blah blah blahI feel like it was a little different than a normal love related themeand I really wanted everyone to do itdespite most people wanted to do the birdy versionwhich like ew wow guyssince this is my video i'm just going to come right out and say THAT VERSION IS TERRIBLE COMPARED TO THE ORIGINAL LIKE COME ON NOWit doesn't even have a fraction of the emotion Justin Vernon conveyed in the original.so I chose the originaland if we pick a certain version of a songyou don't need to tell us how you would rather do the otherwe got a lot of people do that and everyone has their own opinion, i understandbut we picked the version we picked for a reasonsorry about the rant that was just kinda irritating to me the full mep will be up soona little lateBUTo well
the ground. xmercimissALICE 2013-07-03 | | don't end my lifeyou're all I need|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -my part for the cms mepi pick all of the themes but this one was very personal for me
lasting ache. xmercimissALICE 2013-06-01 | l and this is far from joy |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -give me some timeand i will no longer need youand i can't sayi was really happy anyways
suffocater. xmercimissALICE 2013-05-10 | | In the darkness I will meet my creatorsand they will all agree, that i'm a suffocater |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - vent. vent. vent. vent. vent. vent. vent. vent. vent. vent.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Each person, every single person shapes youAll those boys you spent time with, trying hard to love and make it workYou know that they shaped you into this womanYou are how you are because of their rules and your shared mistakes and all of their angerYou became a fragile little thing so needing of loveSo needing of his love because he is the oneBut you pushed a little harderAnd complained a little too muchAnd perhaps you destroyed a wonderful thingBecause you hold on tight, you clamp down your teeth, and you cling.You hold on with everything and you cry and you complain and you drain the life out of himBecause that's who you are nowThat's who you became And I don't mean to push so hardAnd I don't mean to take away your affection for me because of my faultsI didn't mean to push so hardMaybe I was too emotional and you weren't emotional enoughAnd we show our love in different waysBut we can't be wrong
close. xmercimissALICE 2013-05-02 | kaaay this is my part for the catalyst miracles studios closer mepyah yahtook me all day but ya know
picture when xmercimissALICE 2013-04-29 | This is my part for Red Raven Studio's mepthe theme was to make our parts as sort of a tribute you a characterand it could be about their whole life or just one certain scenemine was mostly focusing back on that one scene but also trying to include things from Leanne's present life just sort of looking back on it and triggering memories she is so cuteand I am mostly okay with thisI WOULD HAVE LIKED TO DO COOLER THINGS BUT YA KNOW I'M LEARNING. . .six year lateror sevenidk i've been editing six or seven years now whew such a long time I wanted to get something up because i'm currently working on another videothat dun dun dun dunnncontains masking!gaspbut i'm having a little trouble at the moment (because i never mask and i'm not going to put it up unless is almost perfect so i'm trying to master it in one video even thought it takes people like months and months but this video needs to be perfect)I don't really want to give up on the videoor scrap the masking idea so we'll seeanyways i'm trying to dedicate all of my editing time to itso aside from mep partsI might not have anything up for a bit unless i give upwhich i don't want to dookay done rambling
the killing kind. xmercimissALICE 2013-04-11 | | I've punished him from ear to ear now i've saved the best for you |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I didn't know youor the person you wereand you might have been a nice girlthat could do whatever she wanted with her bodyand that's not my businessuntil you made it mineand this may be harsh but i'm sure you know that you deserve itand you might have been a nice girlbut you took him away from me- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -yes, I suddenly got better at editingno big deal or anything
tire swing. xmercimissALICE 2013-03-28 | | I don't know what it is about youwhat kind of demons do you run through |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I think that, perhaps I could taste all the memorieswhen I was with youthey were foggyand stuck on my tonguethey were gone just like thatbut I thought I could rememberand you thought that no one would go- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this minute this song came on I was like OKAY FAVORITE SONG FROM THE ALBUMthis and back to bedanyways this album is great and just leighton's voice and justso I tried really hard to do this song justice
spiraling. xmercimissALICE 2013-03-28 | | I'll wrap up my bonesand leave themout of this home |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - It should have been so easy to repairlike when you're still so youngand your favorite toy broke so simplyand you wish so fiercely for it to be okay againand you swear and you promise that if it were to be okay,you would be careful this time aroundyou wouldn't make the same mistakebut sometimes it just gets so lostand it seems so easy but it's notand you don't really want to try- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Theme: Settlement. Sometimes in life you find yourself settling for second best, for something which does not make you happy. There was a time when you were happy in the same situation - maybe even when you were in love. You're so desperate to cling to that feeling so you'll stay, even though you feel more and more every day that those feelings are gone. But you're trapped; you can't let go. "Darkness falls and leaves nowhere to go."
useless metaphors. xmercimissALICE 2013-03-23 | | I know that she don't mind if I,go away and I don't callI know that she don't mindif i'm absent through it all |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I don't think I could pretend that it hurtbecause we were just simply passing the timeand it was because we were both lonelyand found a warmth in each otherthat only burned for so long- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this guys voice thoI'm like super duper flippen proud of this
time. xmercimissALICE 2013-03-11 | | Take this sinking boatand point it homewe've still got time|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I really miss my sisterand this song is so lovely and amazing on so many levels
the war. xmercimissALICE 2013-03-07 | | I'll give you everything you needbut I don't think I need you |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Theme: The theme is just that. Anything could happen. You can plan for everything and you can assume and hope that your life will go according to plan but in reality, one small thing could change it. Whether it be thinking you'll graduate and dropping out or thinking you'll stay with your high school sweet heart forever and get married and then breaking up. Maybe it is your whole life full of twist and turns. Maybe a sudden death you never expected. And you'll never know, you'll never be able to see it coming. Anything could happen.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I don't think I prepared for any of this. I had an idea of how my life would play out and I would be happy. And I would fall in love and I would lose my virginity to that person and it would be romantic and we would be happy.I never planned that person would cheat on me the entire time or him, or my other boyfriends that followed would hit me.I never planned to be homeless multiple times or that my mom would simply just give up on being a parent when I was in 8th grade and so my sister had to raise me and take care of me. Because my mom rather party and do drugs then feed us.I never planned to be attacked several times, to be so unlucky. Or maybe lucky because I survived it all.And I never planned to drop out of school because I was too depressed and for it and my anxiety to rule my life.But I also never planned that I would meet the love of my life shortly before I turned 18. That he would love me just the same. That we would build up and now we are living together and I have a job that I enjoy and i'm back on track and will be getting my ged soon. Of course I'm still scared and somedays are terrible and I just want to die but I have him and I have my two best friends even if I only see one of them every week. Things aren't perfect for me, i'm not perfect. I'm a mess and I didn't plan on it and it's hard. But i'm making it through.And I had no idea any of this would happen. There were people I thought i'd spend my life with and it took me a long time to realize that I didn't need them. They were only contributing bad things towards my life. And I made that mistake over and over again.But somewhere along the lines I finally got it right.
to keep. xmercimissALICE 2013-02-14 | | And when you cry, a piece of my heart diesknowing that I might have been the cause|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -this song has been stuck in my head lately so I thought I would makea simple nice little diddy for valentines dayand for my boyfriend but of course he will never see this xDso happy valentines day everyone!
The girl with the nipped wings. xmercimissALICE 2013-02-08 | | Have I found you?Flightless bird, grounded, bleedingor lost you, american mouthbig pill stuck going down |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -This is a story about a girl; a lovely but self-destructive and lonely girl. But for my sake, I pretended that she was happy. I pretended that I made her happy though I never really was sure what had made her so sad. So for my sake, I told her to ignore all of the pain and I told her to be happy with me. Until one day, very suddenly, she was gone. I knew that I had to find her. But the girl that I found was not her. Instead of her I found another lovely girl. A lovely girl that was so self-destructive and afraid of being alone that she could not take it anymore. She could not handle the pain anymore. And it was too late. I could not save her. She had gone. And that girl that I loved seemed to float in and out of my memories in a vague blur for a long time, until I did not know who she was anymore. But I don't think I ever really knew who she was.
know. xmercimissALICE 2013-02-05 | | You could be happy,I hope you are |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I'll tell myself it's for the besteven though I know that's only true for youI always said I'd miss you the mostbecause I loved you the most- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I pretty much only vid namora ya knowoh wellthis song came on on my way to workand i was like wait this is snow patrol i never knew thatand then I wanted to vent with itbut I kept losing motivationbut I had today off and got up at 8 because I had to let the bright house guy inwe just moved and shitso i was like might as well finish itthen slept the entire time it was savingthen got up and one clip wasn't the right sizeso i saved it and slept again until it was doneso yeah anyways i'm proud of it which is goodbecause the entire time i was making it i was likeTHIS SUCKS HOW CAN I MAKE IT BETTERbut my lack of knowing how to do cool effects paid offI JUST WOKE UP SO I'M RAMBLING OKAYit's also kinda weird that I edit namora onlybecause nami/riku is kinda my otpwell i guess they both are like lenalee/lavi and lenalee/kandabut then kanali i'll always love a little bit moreokay i'm done
the storm. xmercimissALICE 2013-01-19 | | And I will die aloneand be left there |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - a vent of sorts- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - And one dayperhaps it will be better for youand you carry yourself so wellthat no one knowsbut one day it will not just be thatit will not just be that you carry yourself with a smilebut you'll be happy and wholeand the pain will be distantand not sharp in your sideand you are scared nowyou are so scaredbut one day you will be okayand you won't cry in the middle of the nightand the unsure painwon't cripple youone day, i'll be okay
silent. | cms | xmercimissALICE 2013-01-18 | | I found my headroll down the dumps of twenty seventh street |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The idea of this worm is that we all are venting about whatever we wantso i'm venting about something that i vent about on occasions and never makes much sense in videosbut it doesn't really make much sense in my headand I feel sillybut it's getting worselately, I lose track of my thoughtsand then I am therebut before I was notI don't know where I wentbut all of the thought in the time I was goneonly play back in my head very far off and distantas if they belong to someone elseand i'm certain that they doi've been certain for awhile nowit seems silly to think that there is someone else in my headbut I lose track of timeand I think horrible things that aren't my ownand I can feel her back theresomething that i'm most afraid ofis that I will go crazyand I will be trapped in my mindand it doesn't make much senseand I feel silly talking about itbut it's very real to me
blind. xmercimissALICE 2013-01-17 | | And I am blindI can not find the heart I gave to you |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I could have sworn,I remembered loving youI remember pacing the floor with youI remember your steps in sync with mineI remember a man and I swore that I loved himand we swore that our future was oursbut now I see youand you pass by meand I pass by youand I don't see you at all any longerand I don't remember loving you at all anymore
decay. | 500+ subs | xmercimissALICE 2013-01-08 | | Let us be entertainedlet me believe it ends this way | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -You have to understand, I did it because it was best for me. And even though I love you, it was best. This was how I was taught. This was the only way. And it was all I knew until I was sure all I knew was loving you. But that isn't quite right, is it? Please know I'm okay with this and I'll be happy like this. Don't doubt for a moment my love for you and please don't think that I love him. I really can't stand him. I don't love him. I don't love the way that he speaks or the sounds of his feet on the floor when he hears me. And I do not love the way that he touches my skin. He is not you. And this is why I know we are wrong. He can't hurt me this way. He can't because I love you. But now I'll be safe. And I'll grow up and I'll grow old and I'll die. And then I will rot. And I'll have been happy. This is how it's supposed to be and I'm okay with it, I really am. I'm prepared for it. You must understand that I seek the safety of illusions and lies. I'd rather the illusions. I'd rather grow old and die then die from a broken heart. We were not meant to fall in love. We're meant to be happy without love. So I'm choosing the illusions and the comfort in the safety. And I will no longer hear your words, spoken in your voice. And my heart will no longer ache. And I'm sorry. Believe me, I'm sorry. I'm aching already. I love you but I'm sorry. I want to be happy. I want to be safe. So please let me go where you voice, your touch, and your warmth can not reach me and scar me. I was not meant to fall in love with you. And I'm so sorry. I do not love him so I'll go to him because that is where it is safe and that is what everyone expects of me. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -The story kinda has to do with this really good book series I'm reading where love is treated as a disease. And I'll always believe this song was about settling. We all have the way we think love should be and our fairy tales and then we end up with someone we don't really love at all. We want to be happy so we accept it, we lie to ourselves ad we deceive ourselves to be happy. In this, Serah loves Noel but is suppose to marry Snow. And is raised believing that you are not supposed to fall in love.On to the thanks.I've realize that the first 100 or so of you have been with me through so much. Through my first three terrible relationships, all of the abuse and pain, and all of the relationships that never quite made it. You've seen my friendships fall and new ones come. You've seen me go through so much pain and a lot of you have been there for me. And as I've gotten more subscribers, more people could see what I went through and all of my hopes and all of my ideas and they could watch them in vents or just stories and poems I made up. A lot of you have come such a long way with me. For me, making videos was never about getting subscribers. Even if I had none, I would continue to make videos because it is a way of venting for me. I put out little pieces of my life into each and every video that I make. And even ones that are just for one or have a story, still have a piece of my heart and a part of me that relates to it in some sort of way. There are so many of my videos that I put everything into. I think as far as viding wise, this year has been great for me. I think I've come along way and though I'm envious of a lot of editors, I really do love my style. I've made some pretty great and important videos to me. And I've also met a lot of wonderful and talented editors and I'm very happy for that. And I'm so grateful that you all have stayed with me for as long as you have or decided that you like what I make enough to want to subscribe to me. So no, I don't need subscribers. But it does make me very happy.I've been viding since seventh grade so that's about six or seven years. And I have naturally come along way. And my editing style has changed since I started. But I think I really do try to stick close to emotions. I really do try to convey them into every single one of my videos and give everyone something raw that they can relate to. My music taste has really changed since then as well. I chose to do this song because it has always been one of my favorite Meg and Dia songs. And because I wanted this year for me to try and make videos using some of the older artists that I love. Or even to use the ones I love know and don't make enough videos for like Lyida and Christina Perri. Of course, I'm still going to edit with my newer music but I really would like to try and do this. Anyways, thank you all so much. All of your comments and words honestly mean so much to me and I really do try to reply to everyone. Thank you the ones have been here forever and thank you to the ones who are new and I really hope you like what I put out.
wasted on you. xmercimissALICE 2012-12-23 | | I know that you want me to want you I want to |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -It was as if. .well it was sorta likeone night he had gone to sleepand the next morning I awoke without himand he never woke uphe just kept dreamingbut he did wake upand something had changedlike things tend to do over the course of five yearsand I didn't want him to gono, of course notbut it wasn't really him anymoreit was as if. .he never really woke up that morningand I could crawl in beside himand I would take my place and curl up beside himI would rest my head on his chest and feel him breathe beneath meas he stood in the door way and wondered what was wrongand I would lay thereand I would just keep wishingit was sorta like. . he never woke upand I awoke that morningand every morning after thatand lived with him and moved with himbut he never woke up
I really cant stay. xmercimissALICE 2012-12-19 | | I outta say no, no, no, sirat least i'm gonna say that I tried |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -okay so this is probably the first christmas in two/three years i'm looking forward to and not hating because i usually do hate christmasbut it's the first one with living with my babyand we have a christmas treeand i bought presentsso i'm putting aside my hate for it right nowand hoping it will be a proper one because it's probably been six years since i've had a good oneso i wanted to make a video and there was a version of this song that came on all the time at workthey both had such sweet voicesi couldn't find itbut i thought this one was niceanywaysmerry christmas everyone and happy new yearand happy holidaysand all of that c':
with you. xmercimissALICE 2012-12-08 | This video is dedicated to my best friend in the entire world, viktoriaiscompanyx. Because she is wonderful and amazing. I'm not exactly sure why I made this, I was watching the voice and cassadee song this song and I just had this overwhelming desire to vid with it. And as soon as the whole vanilla/namine idea came into my head I thought of her. And since the birthday video I made for her back in august was just such crap I can make it up now with this little thing. Because she both love Cassadee and I love her and this was a pretty great rendition of the song (personally I think it was better than avril's) and since Melanie went home of course Cassadee needs to win this now. And if I haven't said this yet, I apologize if the chroma keyer scenes are weird. Like I tried. I TRIED OKAY. So anyways the rest is to Vikki and you don't have to read it. Dear Vikki,You should know there aren't a lot of days where I don't miss you, where I don't think about you. I'm nostalgic for all of the times that we used to spend together. It's very hard spending everyday with someone for a long period of time, spending almost everyday with someone for a good amount of years, and then seeing them every couple of months. I miss every little thing about you and the time that we spent together. I miss our silly little fights over accidentally hitting each other in ctr and our bigger fights over the terrible guys I dated and my friends that you didn't like, or your friends that I didn't like. I miss all of our creative games and playing them in the way too hot weather of florida or the cold weather with our noses running. I remember one time we even got into a fight and you walked off and I just kinda stood by the basketball court freezing. But you came back for me like you always did. There were a lot of times we didn't agree, there are still a lot of times we don't agree. But you have always been there 100 % no matter what. And I know you always will be. And though I didn't grow up with you in your neighborhood, I did grow up with you. We matured together and a lot of times, we hurt together. I never wanted to be a bad friend to you, and I know there were times that I was. I can't take them back but I am sorry. I couldn't see how foolish I was being back then. And I couldn't tell myself to let it go and simply just not fight with you. But I always had to fight you on things. I don't think I'll ever have the bond I had with you, with anyone else. And you are so smart, adorable, and funny. I know one time you said you hated yourself, but you're a really great person. You have grown so much. And if you don't see it now, hopefully you do. I feel like this isn't coming out as good as I wanted it to but oh well. I love you and I miss you so much. I always miss you. You really are my best friend.
seventeen. xmercimissALICE 2012-12-02 | | But i'm not seventeenand I lost it in between |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this is a vent tooI have a lot of emotions right nowi'm just very depressed.
cough syrup. xmercimissALICE 2012-12-02 | | one more spoon of cough syrup now. .one more spoon of cough syrup now |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent.vent- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -i'm just really depressedusually when I vid with a song and i'm venting with itI really like to get down the meaning or interpretations of the meaning but for this I just kinda saw my own meaning and went with iton another note i've been meaning to edit with one of melanie's renditionsliterally every time she sings on the voice i'm likewow I love this I need to edit with itand then never get around to itthis rendition in particular was one of my favorites by farher voice is so beautiful and so is sheand i'm very happy she's made it to the top 6like as much as I love cassadee i'd rather her not win because I feel like she could get a record deal no matter whatbut melanie is so unique I mean I listen to a lot of female indie artists but as far as famous singers gothere aren't enough out there with a voice even close to hersSO EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THE VOICE AND VOTE FOR HERlike what am I doing this is a vent and i'm going off about melaniebut like she is perfectalso different effects and transitions then normal for meyah well like one new effect and transition. . whatever. I explore at my own pace
slamming doors. xmercimissALICE 2012-11-28 | | They were kids that I once knewnow they're all dead hearts to you |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Theme: Theme: It's a common part of life to lose people. You had these friends that have been there since you were young, since middle school, maybe they were only your friend for a year or so. Maybe you weren't even that close. But these were people that you may have grown up with, spent a good amount of time with. These are people that made up a good part of your life for some amount of time. You cared about them so much. But things happen and friendships fall apart. And sometimes people move on and you don't. It's as if you are stuck in a place, watching their backs as they walk away from you. You can't even say that they think about you anymore, that they even miss you. But you miss them. Your heart aches for them. They were there and now they are gone. They are still out there, they are living their life and you are not a part of it anymore though you wish to be. And it hurts. Because you care and they don't.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'm sure most of you guessed that I came up with this theme, well I come up with most of them but I thought that. . I think that this was a very important and good theme for us all. For me, caring about people comes very easily and I get attached very easily. There are people who I barley know or talk to that I care very much for because that's just the type of person I am. I turned 19 last week. For as long as I can remember I constantly watched people I care about walk out of my life, my best friends from childhood, my best friends from middle school, my best friends from high school, and even my not so close friends. They all moved on. And once they made up a great deal of my life, my days revolved around them. And now they are gone. And I can't say they think about me anymore. But I think about them often. There aren't a lot of nights where I lay awake thinking about the time I spent with them and how they are now. And I miss them. They were people I was so close with for a time, people I shared so many thoughts and ideas with. They were people I loved. They were my friends but the moved on. They left me behind. They left me to miss them and they may not even care. But I care. I care and I will always care. I tell stories of them. I knew them all once. But they are gone now and it hurts. I still care and it hurts. I see them and it hurts. I wish that they still cared to try. But it's not like they're really even there anymore. They have all gone and I have a memory of what I knew. But they have gone. They are gone. So in case any one else is feeling this way or has felt this way, I thought it was important that we made a video about it.
happy. xmercimissALICE 2012-11-27 | | You'll just throw awayevery word I say |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this is a very misleading title and so I apologybut on another note me and my boyfriend are mostly back to /normal/as normal as you can get at this pointbut we will be back to normal in timeI just wanted to vid somethingand this is a very lovely song
darling. xmercimissALICE 2012-11-13 | | So I curse you, my vampire heartfor letting me love youlove youfor letting me love you from the start |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I don't even know how to explain it to anywaysbecause i don't get iti'm confused myselfhow could I have not seen that you were unhappy?how could it have gone on for so long?and what do I do now?you're the oneyou will always be the onewhat can I hope to do now? I can't hope to love anyone againI can only love youhow can you do it?we were so happyI thought we were happyIf I hadn't loved you then maybebuthow will I be happy againyou were the only one
the ghost. xmercimissALICE 2012-11-09 | | But I swear you didn't carebecause we were in love |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -it's not going anywhereit hasn't for awhileI think it's time I give upand let it gomove onbut i'm not sure I ever could- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -This song came on while Vikki was taking me homeand it was just kinda like "wow I use to really love this song"because I didI made a video for it back in the old days before my psycho ex of the time deleted all of my videosit was a kanda and rinali one and I didn't have dgm clips on this computerbut I felt like I really needed to make a video again for itI couldn't tell you what the last one was aboutor maybe I couldI think I know who because that person meant a lot to meI just really needed to make thisand I know i've been making a lot of like break upey videosme and my boyfriend are finethey just end up being the things I vent about also this is dedicated to vikki since it came on in her boyfriend's car
I would have xmercimissALICE 2012-11-05 | | I touched your lips and held your handswhen they were shaking |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I think you must have not known mebecause if you had told me all of these troublesall of the emotions and places you were stuck inyou fought witha daily battleI would have let you leave- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
as good as it gets. xmercimissALICE 2012-11-02 | | The bitter in youand the quitter in meis bigger than the both of us |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -aside from a bit of circle overdose through the second half of the videoI AM SO PROUD OF THIS/sobI didn't know the actual meaning of the song before I started thisI assumed it was about about a relationship but it turns out it is a love letter to his heroin addictionwhich I think is very interestingso I think maybe when I feel like venting about one of my problems i'll make another video for this songI really liked the bridge and the ending and would have loved to do them as wellthis actually only took me three or so hoursit was also nice doing something in sora's povof course there was a bit of nami's towards the end
folding chair. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-21 | | There's a shadow you can't see my eyesAnd the sea is just a wetter version of the skies |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -just a little diddy took me about 20 minutes idk maybe lessI JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING CUTE OKAYanyways i'm only up to episode 12 so maybe something serious after my heart breaksbecause i'm sure it will once I continueso there will probably be another asuna/kirito feels video laterpossiblydon't hold me to itbut i'm home all day by myselfso yahbut more serious and probably a lot more painful then this onedo you guys remember when I only edited with anime?no? me eitherjk it was like two years agobut i'm watching a lot more anime now like the good ol daysso expect some sukitte ii na yo and more sao and maybe tonari whatever the rest of the name is because i never remember
love you. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-19 | | But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -just had to do this part of the songreal quick and get this out therefor mine and my boyfriend's one yearwhich is mondayyay
walls. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-18 | | Eyes are open the mouth criesI haven't slept since summer |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Theme: Imprisonment or to be trapped. Red Raven Studio's halloween mepoh wow I don't hate my part for once c':anyways this theme was very personal for me- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm sure at the time, and the whole time since, you really believe that you could forget. And try as I might, I can't seem to shake away those terrible memories. It was so long ago but at night when I think back to it, it seems like it only happened the day before. And I can't seem to forget. I can't bury or lock away the memories. So you should know, that just because you survived and just because you got away, you aren't really free. The door is still closed and you'll always be trapped.
unexpected. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-18 | | What's wrong with me?I keep on letting you down. |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -But you can't have both of them- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -This was requested by foudroyantsun. Go subscribe to her because she is amazing. http://www.youtube.com/user/FoudroyantSunI this this is my first request. Maybe like ever. Hopefully she loves this ;w;When I first listened to the song, an idea immediately popped into my head as the plot for this. So if it's not obvious I'll break it down for you. We all interpret songs in our own way and especially when it comes to make videos, we think us all of these crazy ideas. So I thought what if I made a video on a very common human "mistake". Sometimes when you're in a relationship you still hold on to a past love for someone else and you can't quite give the person you are currently with you're all. Or sometimes you're just guilty of loving more then one person. And it's okay, it happens. You're human. I know this has happened to me before (not in my current relationship because I'm fully in love with my boyfriend but in past ones) so this is what that video is about. Namine isn't really with either of them but she wants both of them because she loves them so much. They both make her feel different things and she loves them for different reasons. But she couldn't hold onto them both forever so she had to let one of them go.KINDA LIKE HOW IT WAS FOR ELENA WITH STEFAN AND DAMON.
love + loss. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-17 | | I pray that you will find peace of mindAnd I'll find you another timeI'll love you, another time |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this is a venti'm just unsure of what i'm in need of venting ofand just that I mustI probably should have made something a bit happiermy one year with my boyfriend is coming up in about a weekmaybe later i'll work on something for thator tomorrowand i'm sorry my transitions always fade out weirdlike they fade out and then they flicker back onI assume it's my coloring but usually I can fix it with making them fade to blackbut I used a texture this time so idk it made it more noticeablebut it didn't look bad or anything so I didn't see a reason to fix itany whoenjoyattempt number two at uploading thisyoutube fuck your shiti'm so mad I had to pitch this
the cracks. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-06 | | No one believes meI can't even trust me |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -mep part for Catalyst Miracles halloween mepTheme: Paranoia/fear of the unexplained or fear that you are crazy. At one point in time something has happened to you that makes you rethink everything. That you whole heartedly believe but no one else seems to. You start to wonder if you're crazy. You wonder if everyone else thinks you're crazy. Not only are you scared of this but you're also scared of the truth. What really happened? What did I really experience? Am I crazy? Or was something actually there?- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I need to stop venting about thisI need to stop acknowledging this
its-me&you. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-02 | | Same as I love you,you'll always love me toothis love isn't good unlessit's me and you |
tricycle. xmercimissALICE 2012-10-02 | | You don't want me aroundto tie you up |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -okay so a few thingsI feel like I don't give this pairing enough love so I decided to vid italsothis coverhappens to be sung by a girl I knowI went to middle school with her, was fairly close with her, and I sat next to her everyday at lunchyet I never knew she sang so beautiful and had so a wonderful voiceso it's probably a tad bit creepy to use her cover?idkher voice is just so niceif you want to listen to some of her other covers this is her soundcloud http://soundcloud.com/rebekah-grinstead
star. xmercimissALICE 2012-09-30 | | You don't love me, big fucking deali'll never tell, you how I feel |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -this is what happens when I listen to marina and the diamondsthe acoustic versions of her songs are so wonderfulI really like this one
other. xmercimissALICE 2012-09-30 | | And I will claim that I love youand I am the one who birthed you |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sometimes I feel like I might be crazyand I'm so scared of it nowthat i'm sure when i'm older it will be worseand that she will get worseand I don't really understand it yetmaybe I should be acknowledging itbut I can feel her there and sometimes I don't really feel like mesometimes I don't really think like meI think these horrible thingsand right after I know I wasn't the one who thought that wayas if they belonged to another girlshe's not meand I feel crazy for even thinking she might be therebut sometimes it really feels like itand it must be my faultmaybe if I had protected myself bettermaybe if I had walked away from things soonermaybe I wouldn't have become a monster like themmaybe this is her revenge but i'm probably just crazyand I don't think she's really thereprobably.
father. xmercimissALICE 2012-09-22 | | But I just don't knowwhat to do without you anymore |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I never knew you thought about those things. I guess to me you always seemed like a distant man. You didn't really bother with trivial things. You didn't care about what happened after. But I guess that's not like you at all.You left a long time ago and at first I couldn't understand and I think I cried. But it was so long ago. And then I couldn't understand why I always feared that everyone would leave me. But it all came back to you. So then I think I was angry and I must have cried. And then I saw you trying and in all honesty, I missed you so much. So I think I must have cried.I hadn't talk to you in almost two weeks and I had been meaning to hear your voice, let you know work was well, my boyfriend and I were well, my life was well. But we got caught up in this conversation.And I just want you to come back. I always thought you would. I always dreamed you would.
