Resources for Religious Trauma Syndrome Angel DeSantis 2020-08-03 | A few of you have asked me what I did to help heal from religious trauma so I wanted to share a few of the books I found really helpful. Also listing below if you don't have time to watch the whole video. 1. Art of Living, Epictetus 2. Gifts of imperfection, Brene brown 3. Don't sleep, there are Snakes, Daniel Everett 4. Leaving the fold, Marlene Winell 5. The artists way, Julia Cameron 6. The Science of good and evil, Michael Shermer7. Conjoint family therapy, Virginia Satir 8. Dark matter of the mind, Daniel Everett 9. Polyvagal therapy, Deb Dana 10. Bobby fisher teaches Chess, Let me know if there has been anything that you found helpful in your journey. Remember, you're not alone in this.
August, West Week - Heart Meditation Angel DeSantis 2024-08-15 | Breath work and meditation for your heart! Trust and experience how powerful your heart really is ! I'll be back in LA soon, can't wait to be on the mountains and beaches with y'all ! 🫶🏼
July: North Meditation. Angel DeSantis 2024-07-09 | Hi friends. This is a meditation to help you realign focus. I hope it's helpful. I made it for my community while I'm away but figured I would share it with everyone and hope it benefits all! I hope you are thriving ! xo -Angel
Religious Trauma: Help from others. Angel DeSantis 2023-06-09 | Hi Friends!! Whenever I run a ross a complex problem i try to think my way through the layers of it and search fir a remedy from the root up. Here is my little story and advice for anyone who is truly searching on how to heal but keeps running up against the same problem. You're doing a great job, I'm sending courage your way!
3 Things I learned in my year away from youtube. Angel DeSantis 2023-05-09 | Hi Friends! I took a much needed break after 2 years of uploading videos every week. I feel rejuvenated and ready to step back into this space. I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who continued to support and share my videos. I learned a lot and am so grateful for the time off, and glad to come back and have more to share with you. I appreciate your courage to grow along side me. I am truly thankful for this community. ❤️Link for mailing list below! theprocessbyangel.com/join-mailing-list
Exciting update. Angel DeSantis 2022-11-13 | Hi friends! I've been working on something and excited to share it with you. I hope everyone has been well. Here is the link to join ! theprocessbyangel.com/join-mailing-list
Where Ive went, and whats to come! Angel DeSantis 2022-08-16 | Hi Everyone! A life update!! Also I realize I mis-quoted Yoda, 😆 He said there is no try, just do. And I think there's just try in order to do. Here is the link if you are interested in joining me for this next phase! theprocessbyangel.com/join-mailing-listLooking forward to hearing your thoughts and excited for what's to come!
Religious Trauma : Why I can/ cant give advice. Angel DeSantis 2022-04-08 | When we grow up in an environment that constantly dismisses our feelings we learn that our personal experience and feelings don't matter. When we stop taking how we feel into consideration we put ourselves at risk of contributing to our own suppression. Begin listening to your feelings and work on cultivating the courage to act on them, especially if they've been consistent surrounding a subject.
Religious Trauma: Do I have hard days? Angel DeSantis 2022-04-01 | A couple of you have asked if I ever have bad says, since I seem so positive, and was I always this way. The answer to that is no, I wasn't always this way, yes hard days will always exist, but even on my absolute hardest days, this little reframe keeps me going. Links below to the Process :) theprocessbyangel.com
Ask Angel is going live tomorrow at 9 am on instagram! head over to instagram with any ?s you have! Angel DeSantis 2022-03-31 | ...
The Process: Childhood sexual trauma recovery Angel DeSantis 2022-03-31 | The 3rd course I'm releasing from my new venture, is The Childhood Sexual Trauma Recovery Process.If you have suffered from childhood sexual abuse, I know that it's not pleasant to talk about - and some of us never do. I personally tried to suppress acknowledging mine for years and continue on as if nothing "that serious" happened to me. This course was the most difficult to create (and one of the longest!) but it was one that I knew I had to share because I want as many people as possible to know that the burden of shame from being a victim of childhood sexual abuse does not, and never has belonged to you. The goal of The Childhood Sexual Trauma Recovery Process is to begin the work to put that burden down.I'm sending love and courage to everyone seeking to heal from something they haven't yet been able to express out loud. You are not alone.the-process-by-angel.teachable.com/p/the-childhood-sexual-trauma-recovery-process
Religious Trauma: Are you willing to heal anything yet? Angel DeSantis 2022-03-25 | The idea for this video is that 1. You have to be willing to heal before you heal. and 2. It's okay if you you're not ready or willing to do it yet. Many of us might feel like "yes of course we're willing" but it's helpful to pick the actual part of yourself you are actively trying to heal before you begin the journey, It's also okay if the answer is "No, I'm not willing to heal anything right now, I'm just trying to survive." That was my answer for many years, and survival is crucial. I hope that you feel okay to be where you are. It's okay if you are not willing to heal anything now, and it's okay if you find something to begin healing. It's all part of the process and you're not doing life wrong. Link to my website theprocessbyangel.com Link to courses! the-process-by-angel.teachable.com/p/home
The Process: Reparenting course! Angel DeSantis 2022-03-24 | You can find out more about it at theprocessbyangel.com Thank you guys for your support! Got something to fit into your lifestyle coming soon as well! Sign up for the email if you want to stay connected! Appreciate you!
Religious Trauma: Meditation on separating your past from your future Angel DeSantis 2022-03-18 | The meditation I mentioned a few weeks ago. I hope it's helpful for ya'll! Grab a pen and paper and see what you find out!
New project I’ve been working on for years is finally live!! 🤩🥳 Excited for this next step ! Angel DeSantis 2022-03-17 | Check in out here !! theprocessbyangel.com
Religious Trauma: Permission to live your life. Angel DeSantis 2022-03-10 | Sometimes we stay externalizing our life because we were never taught that we were capable of knowing what to do or learning to trust ourselves. You are wise in your own way. Learn to trust your gut instinct, sit through the noise and listen. There is a wisdom in you that is worth getting to know.
Religious Trauma: Do you still believe you arent creative? Angel DeSantis 2022-03-04 | Part of the healing process is rediscovering - or discovering for the first time that you have creative possibility. I hope this video is useful in helping you discover that you are full of creative potential. Side note, I messed up the settings so there's a lag visually, this one might me better to just listen to 😅 Still figuring it out as I go along!
Religious Trauma: Were you actually a bad kid ? Angel DeSantis 2022-02-25 | There is a reason "Inner child" work exists and why it's important. In this video I explain my experience with it and why I believe it's important to look at your child self and realize you were likely much better than you thought you were. Towards the 5:15 mark I explain why I believe this work is important and why abuse is cyclical. As always, these are my personal experiences; I hope my sharing them is helpful, and thank you for watching :)
Religious Trauma: To the JW community after the Lloyd evans news Angel DeSantis 2022-02-18 | A double psychological wound can feel like a body blow. One inside an abusive community feels understandable, but another one outside from someone you trusted and who encouraged you to leave can sometimes be more devastating. It's my sincere hope that you take any good that you learned from the information that he gave nad use it to walk yourself forward. Sometimes the message is good even if the messenger is disappointing. Wishing everyone peace and clarity today.
Religious Trauma: How to move past your past Angel DeSantis 2022-02-10 | The lighting is odd, but now I know better and won't bring that with me into the future 😆 haha. In this video I share how to consciously move forward and leave a traumatic past behind, instead of being continuously retraumatized by current or future events. Learn to see things as they are right now, not through the lens of your past. Hope you guys are having a beautiful day today!
Religious Trauma: Why is it so hard to try new things? Angel DeSantis 2022-01-28 | Why, as religious trauma survivors, do we can find it so hard to go out and play with the world? There is a reason your brain was set up to hold you back, and there is a way to ask questions that invite you to truly think about it, and move yourself past those blockages. Thank you for watching!
Religious Trauma: Why cant I accomplish new things? Angel DeSantis 2022-01-21 | Hi friends! This week I'm addressing the topic of why it's difficult to try new things even after no longer being in a religiously abusive environment. Remember religious abuse is regular abuse, with God thrown in. So you also might find it helpful to research how the traumatized brain works. I hope my personal experience with this topic is useful to you! Appreciate you being here, and let me know what part of you, you are going to believe today!
Religious Trauma: Your first week out of the religious community Angel DeSantis 2022-01-14 | To the person who is leaving a religious community. It feels worse before it gets better, but it gets so much better. If you have left an abusive religious community please leave comments below to encourage people who are just leaving to continue on their path. You aren't alone. We are all so proud of you. Links to therapy and my religious trauma course below. religioustraumacounseling.comresiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
My standstill adventures haha 😆 What are y’all getting up to for new year? Angel DeSantis 2021-12-30 | ...
Religious Trauma: New Years Resolutions? Angel DeSantis 2021-12-29 | Hi friends! I hope everyone is having as good a holiday as they can. This video is a explanation of how I set my New Year's' intentions. I usually don't try and create something new so much as I look back, pick out all the good that I was able to create for myself, then let that boost my confidence for the upcoming year! Look for your progress, I promise you, you've done a lot more than you think! Happy New Year ! -Angel
Religious Trauma: how to move past the righteous anger phase. Angel DeSantis 2021-12-10 | A video on the two questions I asked myself to help me out of the Righteous Anger phase that is a part of the healing journey. 1. Does this bring me to life/ what can I do to bring myself to life 2. What does the next iteration of myself look like? Remember, there is not a "right" way to heal. Just keep inviting yourself deeper into the journey and you will find your way to joy. Look I remembered my links! resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-traumareligioustraumacounseling.com
How to create empathy after Religious Trauma. Angel DeSantis 2021-12-02 | My story on how I created empathy, and a reminder have the self awareness to not take the stance that religious people took against "outsiders" against religious people. For Empathy 1. Realize that people never "deserve" bad things to happen to them. 2. Be self sufficient so you don't have to think about how others "bad news" affects you, you can think about how it affects them. For Self awareness, Remember this journey is not about being better than religious people, this is about understanding yourself and the things that stand in your way. Other people are not the enemy, flawed mindsets like superiority and lack of empathy are the enemy. Fix the mindsets in yourself and watch the the world around you change. Thank you guys for doing the work, I know it's difficult, but here we are!!
2 Tips to deal with family during the holidays Angel DeSantis 2021-11-19 | Remember you always have a choice in what you choose to do or not do. 1. 3:03 identify your main objective. 2. 5:50 let your idea of yourself go. The people who contributed to your trauma are not the people who will see / support the new version of you. Don't waste time trying to prove yourself to them. I hope ya'll are beginning to surround yourself with people who actively celebrate you!
The number 1 thing to change as you begin healing Angel DeSantis 2021-11-11 | An important perspective to change as you begin healing. The camera had trouble focusing this round, but hey we got good audio 😆 ! One step at a time! Looking forward to hearing how you receive this one. As always, thank you for being here! 8:50 The set up of a traumatized brain 10:46 Brain exercise
How to make healing easier. Angel DeSantis 2021-10-28 | Had two different scenarios this week where I gave the same advice and it helped! Offering it to you here in the hopes that you find it useful too.One day at a time, still works. Also, thank you for the tips on audio, I hope this is better!
Religious Trauma: Why you feel inadequate. Angel DeSantis 2021-10-21 | For those of us who feel like we can never get ahead, and feel like there is something inside of us that holds us back. There is. It's important to understand how we were set up in order to be able to move past the things that are holding us back. You are not intrinsically flawed, but you may remember feeling incapable a lot of the time especially if you grew up in a traumatic environment under traumatic beliefs . I hope this video is helpful in understanding yourself a little bit better. There is a way forward and you are not alone in the journey. The next time you feel inadequate, remind yourself where it comes from and that you no longer need to believe it. 🙏🏼- Angel
How to formulate a boundary Angel DeSantis 2021-10-14 | 1. Only say truthful things 1:462. State your feelings without over explaining 2:123. Take responsibility for your feelings as you set the boundary. 3:184. End by wishing them the best and close out interaction. 6:02Remember, their response will tell you how they feel about you, and generally it will inform you that you needed that boundary. Stock texts below, and get in the comments with your contexts / drafts of your texts and we'll help you craft one! Text 1: 7:46Hi, I thought a lot about our talk yesterday and I am feeling sad that it went the way it did. I did my best to communicate with your but it seems like I made a mess and hurt your feelings, and I’m sorry. I feel like we are moving in two different directions and while I wish we could stay close, it seems that we mostly end up with a lot of miscommunication. During these next few weeks I’m going to take a step back for my own sake and learn more about what my triggers are and how to communicate better. I ask that you please don’t contact me as I work through my stuff. I don’t mean for this to hurt you but I understand if it does and I’m sorry. I wish you the best and am hopeful that time apart with be good for both of us. Text 2: 5:15Hi ___I wanted to send you a text to clear the air a little bit. First I want to say thank you for reaching out and trying to connect, but after sitting with it for a while I think I would like to cancel our coffee date. I have been feeling a little awkwardness between us and while part of me wants to get along and try and repair our friendship, I am also in this space of really honoring my boundaries and I would like to wish you the best, but I think It’s best for me to stay stepped back from our relationship for now. I understand that this might come as a shock or be hurtful to you, please know that isn’t my intention at all, but I understand if it's hurtful to you and I am sorry for that. I truly wish you the best, but have to go with how I’m feeling. Thank you for understanding. I'm going to do another video breaking down the dating ones because this caption is getting looonnng! that'll be up next week. I hope you feel supported by me sharing these things with you. Remember you're not alone in the journey, and the journey is worth taking. 🙏🏼
Making friends after growing up religious. Angel DeSantis 2021-10-08 | My observations and tips for the things that get in our way/ how to overcome them to make new friends. 1.1:58 Identify your barriers 2. 4:28 New friends will treat you different than the forced friendships of religion. You can expect more from the new friendships, grow and expect a healthier bond.3. 6:38 Real friends vs fake friends. Is it a people problem? or is it a black and white thinking problem that is leftover from religion. 4. 13.13 Look for commonality - make it easy for yourself to show up 5. 16:07 remember you don’t owe anyone your story, you do not need to “show your ugly” as fast as possible. Grow a safety bond first, and when you feel safe enough to share then do it 19:50 How not to base your friendships. 21:05- What if its been too long and you feel like you can’t share your story? As usual these are my personal thoughts and lived experiences that I am sharing with you. Remember to believe your own experience, to create safe spaces for yourself and move towards the relationships and experiences that make you feel loved and alive.
How to improve a relationship with someone with trauma Angel DeSantis 2021-10-02 | Made for a friend of mine who asked for a video to share with their partner. My opinion on ways to improve your relationship if you are in a relationship with someone who is dealing with childhood trauma. Again I want to state I am not an expert, these are simply things I've noticed that have helped me and I want to share them in the hopes they help you too. As always I am looking forward to your comments/ discussion. Please feel free to share this with those you think would find it useful. If you want me to make a part two feel free to leave questions / suggestions below and I will see them! Thank you, as always, for being here. 1. Learn about reactions v root fear- address the actual fear. Example at 4:08 Address a macro fear and create a safe space 2. Humanize yourself through sharing your vulnerabilities 11:40 3. Leave 15:51 - take this with a grain of salt. This is to prevent the person who has experienced trauma to go back into the cycle of feeling like they have to earn your love. 18:42 for the core statement 4. How to be romantic with someone with trauma 20:20 how they tell you what they want at 22:405. Keep yourself safe, sometimes people who have been through trauma can’t see that they are hurting you 23:1027:49 closing statement
Therapy review : CIMBS Angel DeSantis 2021-09-26 | My review of how Cimbs has been for me, and my advice for anyone about to start their therapy journey. Links below for ya'll! Keep me updated with how you're feeling! As always, glad you're here and hope this helps! religioustraumacounseling.comresiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-traumacomplexintegrationmbs.com
What Anger actually is. Angel DeSantis 2021-09-10 | A little explanation on why I don't feel guilty when I take little hiatuses, and a perspective on anger that I found really useful and wanted to share with you.I appreciate you being here, I hope this is useful.
Religious Trauma: The Process for confidence Angel DeSantis 2021-08-28 | In response to your responses on the community board, I am sharing a little bit of the how I got from one point to the other. It's important to remember that there is not one quick fix that will heal you, but your willingness to work on yourself over time will save you. I hope this is useful. Looking forward to feedback and if it makes sense for your brain. I appreciate you all!
Religious Trauma: 5 things before you start therapy. Angel DeSantis 2021-08-21 | My advice for those of you who are braving the therapy world. 2:01 1. You are not broken beyond repair 5:06 2. Look for someone you feel safe with 2.2 8:04 Choose a licensed therapist that specializes in what you need. 10:40 3. Be as honest as possible 11:50 4. Start with Talk therapy 14:30 5. Therapy won't heal you You deserve to feel good about yourself and therapy can help you see what's stopping you. I hope this helps, please also share what kinds of therapies or self care processes have been helpful to you! We're all in this together.-------------------------------------------------------------------Links to therapist cicadarecoveryservices.comreligioustraumacounseling.comMy Religious Trauma Course resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
Religious Trauma: Can you have a relationship with people who are still part of the church? Angel DeSantis 2021-08-14 | Thank you for the questions! This is my experience of what it was like to try and remain involved with active members of the cult while I was outside of it. It should be said that all relationships can change, the question is always what do you have the courage to do/ ask for. I know these are hard subjects and I hope this is useful! As always, I would love to hear your experiences and listen to your stories and questions. You're not alone.Question 1 (internal) 6:30, 7:50How religious people argue 9:08Question 2 10:00Why my marriage dissolved 13:50Question 3 14:29What your job is in the relationship16:00 All the questions recap 17:40(link below for how to deal with family during the holidays)youtube.com/watch?v=_QgJHUDWgsQ(religious trauma course)resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
Religious Trauma: C-PTSD and Hypervigilance Angel DeSantis 2021-07-29 | Hypervigilance is a normal response to being raised in a volatile situation and/or raised with a fear based mindset. If you struggle with it I hope this video and the following links are helpful for you. Remember there is nothing that you feel that is un-human, we are super adapters and we respond to our circumstances. Keep growing and choosing different paths that bring you closer to strength and peace- internally and externally. Link to article : victormarx.com/12-life-impacting-symptoms-complex-ptsd-survivors-endure/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3f6HBhDHARIsAD_i3D8ffl8EcO8dFhh2K-7qcFAZYVWByyccIkdfIQRVJJ3yDDBDGn1sh6AaAs-9EALw_wcBLink to Religious Trauma Course: resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
The Process: How to feel whole. Angel DeSantis 2021-07-18 | A few of you have asked me for the process I use to get from point A to point B. It has been a long process of learning to undo everything that was done, but I wanted to share this "Process of being whole" first, because I feel like it can set you in a right direction. There is of course a time to look at what has been lost and grieve it, but I wanted to start with the process of feeling whole and showing you how to find resource within yourself to feel complete. As always, sending you love and support. I hope this is a helpful step for you on your journey. 💕
Religious Trauma: How to manage your Anxiety Angel DeSantis 2021-07-04 | How I learned where my anxiety originated from, and what I did to manage it slowly but surely. Remember there is a reason why your brain does what it does, if you can find the origin point of a thought, then you can decide what to do with it. Remember the words of Pooh bear : You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think Course link below. resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
Religious Trauma: How to help someone leave Angel DeSantis 2021-06-26 | How to help someone leave an environment that is bad for them. Sometimes as an outsider we can see a situation clearly while the person in the situation cannot. It's tempting to pull someone out especially if we feel they are in danger, but life has very different plans than we do. Here is what I have found works, even though it takes longer than forcibly removing someone from a situation. One day at a time still works. Keep building yourself up and keep building up others. Link to the book from Steven Hassan. amazon.com/Freedom-Mind-Helping-Controlling-Beliefs/dp/0967068819
Religious Trauma: Q&A Angel DeSantis 2021-06-13 | Welcome! When I was shooting Ytube didn't show me all of the comments, so I got through the ones I saw, but I will continue to tap back and answer the others that are asked on the original video! 0:43 Answering a question about sexuality and a rant on purity culture. 6:10 Struggling to step away from god 9:50 Worried about finding a relationship?13:55 TV and music deprivation vs obsession 16:15 Do I still hate people from my past?22:00 Where can you find motivation?As always, I appreciate you guys watching and engaging with me. Keep loving yourself into existence, xo!
Religious Trauma, Q&A update Angel DeSantis 2021-06-01 | Hi friends, Checking in to see if I can respond to any questions you might have, and also really excited to launch a new company surrounding mental and physical health resources. I appreciate you being on this journey with me, and look forward to more! Link to religious trauma course below: resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
Religious Trauma: Healing Badly Angel DeSantis 2021-05-23 | If you think you're "doing healing badly" it's likely you're not. Keep choosing yourself and let life unfold for you. resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
Religious Trauma: 3 questions to re-direct your focus Angel DeSantis 2021-05-09 | 3 questions I ask myself when I feel overwhelmed. Doing this work can be chaotic, but keep realigning yourself and walking forward. You've got this. resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
How to live after growing up in a traumatic environment Angel DeSantis 2021-04-25 | The method I used to convince myself that people were good, and a story about the moment I began gathering new evidence. There is a very beautiful life that is still available to you. Go get it! Link to Therapists: religioustraumacounseling.comLink to my Religious Trauma Course: resiliencetraining.teachable.com/p/religious-trauma
