Burn The Boats is a Funeral for Joe Rogans Comedy Career The Elephant Graveyard 2024-08-11 | A fair and balanced review and examination of Burn The Boats, Joe Rogan's first stand-up comedy special in six years.
David Lucass Comedy Grift Has Reached Its Tragic End The Elephant Graveyard 2024-09-12 | After coming out in his debut standup special, then being forced into comedy retirement by Harland Williams live on Kill Tony, David Lucas makes an appearance on the Matan Even Show. We examine his strange and concerning behaviour observed during this interview, and try to figure out what it all means.■ Patreon patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Substack theelephantgraveyard.substack.com■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com■ IG instagram.com/tuskdustIf you tell lies, you should do it expecting to get caught. Sooner or later you always get captured.Time Codes:00:00 Intro/Channel Update01:52 David Lucas, Matan Even, Provocateurs05:32 Ego Crack #1: The George Floyd Joke09:33 Ego Crack #2: The Predator Question13:01 Spiralling: The Phone Hand Cope, What's in David's Bag?15:46 Ego Crack #3: Critically Damaged, David's Id Takes Full Control17:54 Conclusion: What does it all mean?
we got him. The Elephant Graveyard 2024-08-29 | we got your boy.edit: Hi everyone. Unfortunately one of our wonderful staff members has been abducted and dragged into a deep dark wood by some upset Joe Rogan acolytes. We are working with local search and rescue to try and recover him, but even we have to be realistic and admit the chances of finding him are slim.The cold fall air has been flowing into our Northern Canadian forest during these late summer nights, and the excruciating exposure he's enduring is likely to be fatal. We can hold out hope, but these acolytes are real bad guys, and they are very, very upset. And they have dragged him very deep into those woods.Anyway we have regained control of the channel from those bad guys, and promise there will be lots more videos on the way. We will leave their snuff film up out of respect for our fallen brother.
The King Of The Beach (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 8) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-08-21 | Contemplating the meaning of a proper summer. What's it all for? Plus, responding to your questions and remarks, music, and lots more. This episode of the Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour is sponsored by Rekindle AI. Relationships are hard. Offload some of that labour to the machine, and save your marriage today with this wonderful new app. Disclaimer: Please be advised this is a work of PARODY akin to a digital puppet show. The characters and voices featured are impressions and not the real people. Thanks and sorry.■ Patreon patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Substack theelephantgraveyard.substack.com■ Podcast theelephantgraveyard.substack.com/podcast■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com■ IG instagram.com/tuskdust
Dominant Masculinity (feat. Jerry Seinfeld & Tim Kennedy) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-06-27 | Legendary comedian Jerry Seinfeld and MMA army man Tim Kennedy embark on a quest to discover the true meaning of manliness.
Harland Williams Just Forced David Lucas into Retirement on Kill Tony The Elephant Graveyard 2024-06-11 | Live in Los Angeles at the big Kill Tony 667 theater show, veteran comic and all around good guy Harland Williams just forced David Lucas into comedy retirement after he exposed David's inability to roast an actual comedian live in front of thousands of guys.
The Beatles Historic Final Interview Tape Finally Restored The Elephant Graveyard 2024-06-07 | An exclusive piece of music history has just been shared with us. Listen to the Lost Beatles Tape, taken from Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr's final interview together just before they tragically decided to call it quits. Sadly the tape was violently damaged in a horrible fire, but thanks to this incredible new AI thing, this wonderful tape has just been restored! Using that AI machine, they managed to use the computer to fill in all the missing gaps of that very damaged tape, reconstructing it to bring back what was once lost - including a previously unreleased Ringo track. Disclaimer: This is a work of parody, the voices heard are impressions and not the real people. It's a bit like a digital puppet show. Thanks, and sorry.
The Brotherhood of Rock & Roll (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 7) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-06-01 | Our guest host is joined by his old pal to discuss their legal woes. He also shares some groundbreaking rock and roll history that's recently been unearthed from The Beatles archives, responds to audience feedback and criticism, answers listener questions, and faces down another existential crisis as the Anti-Reality Bunker are being fraudulently put on the real estate auction block, despite our foundation having 100% legal ownership of this land (via the Discover's Rights clause found in the Classic Canadian Charter.) All that and more, plus some wonderful tunes, on a brand new Radio Hour. If you haven't heard this show before, we recommend starting from the first episode. But also just do whatever ya want. This is a work of parody, the voices are not the actual guys. It's like a digital puppet show or whatever. ■ Patreon patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Substack theelephantgraveyard.substack.com■ Paypal paypal.me/TheElephantGraveyard■ Donate paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=Y3H44QN7LNF7N ■ Podcast theelephantgraveyard.substack.com/podcast■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com■ IG instagram.com/tuskdust00:00:00 Intro00:05:15 Summer Sponge Replenishment, Boobie Season00:11:20 Music00:14:52 Sponsor: Brainblossom00:17:30 Addressing the Allegations00:32:52 Music00:36:32 A Surprise Visitor00:52:45 Jam Session (Botched)00:55:20 Another Surprise Visitor00:57:24 Music01:00:15 Sponsor: Dragon City (A Wonderful Chinese Restaurant)01:03:25 Listener Feedback: Joe Rogan, Alien Christianity & the Comedy Mothership01:12:15 Music01:15:00 Ask Me Anything01:31:30 Music and Soda01:34:33 Burton's Rock and Roll Musical Demo01:38:03 The Beatles Lost Interview Tape01:48:05 Unreleased Ringo Starr Song: Blue Jeans (Rock & Roll Music)01:53:18 Relief Host and Demonic DJ Gordon Centipede Curses and Enslaves Rick Beato01:57:15 Gordon Centipede Performs Live02:02:25 The Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse02:10:50 MusicOutro
Jerry Seinfeld’s Entire World is Falling Apart The Elephant Graveyard 2024-05-13 | A thorough and unbiased decoding of Jerry Seinfeld's recent controversial remarks made during his relentless media tour in support of his new film Unfrosted - and an examination of how Jerry has trapped himself in his own self-made comedy purgatory. Stop laughing, it's not funny.
Lex Fridman & Warlord Barbecue Discuss Chaos in Haiti, Propaganda, Combat Ethics The Elephant Graveyard 2024-04-15 | Our beloved guest host is joined by long conversation man Lex Fridman, some kind of computer guy who does important interviews and promotes love. He brought a special exclusive interview with Jimmy Cherizier aka Barbecue, a Haitian gang leader, former police officer, and warlord who is the head of the Revolutionary Forces of the G9 Family and Allies and is considered to be one of the country's most powerful figures. They discussed the current intense conditions in Haiti, and Lex allows Barbecue to clarify some things about the situation. Disclaimer: This is a work of parody and the voices featured are not the real people. This is a clip from the most recent broadcast of The Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour podcast. Full episodes of the show are available on this channel and also here:
The Hero with a Thousand Faces (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 6) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-04-04 | After weeks spent in the darkest depths of the inner sanctum of his Anti-Reality Chamber, Randy finally returns to host another exciting live broadcast of The Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour. In an effort to boost viewership, he's diving into the world of politics, and apparently he's considering embarking on a hero's journey into the heart of darkness. Who knows guys, anything can happen tonight.The Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour features a revolving cast of guest hosts, exploring life, humanity and the nature of reality, plus taking your phone calls and comments, with some great tunes along the way.Disclaimer: This is a work of parody with voice impressions.patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyardtheelephantgraveyard.substack.comtheelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.comPodcast:theelephantgraveyard.substack.com/podcastAnything else:https://linktr.ee/theelephantgraveyard
David Lucass Uncancellable is Everything Wrong with the Austin Comedy Scene The Elephant Graveyard 2024-03-21 | A fair and balanced review and decoding of David Lucas's new standup comedy special "Uncancellable", filmed live at Joe Rogan's Comedy Mothership in Austin.
Tim Pools Wonderful Audience Finally Revealed The Elephant Graveyard 2024-03-15 | A baffling question that has haunted me for years has finally been solved, as Tim Pool's wonderful audience was miraculously revealed at a recent live taping of the Timcast podcast with special guest and nearly triple-digit IQ haver Dave Smith. I will sleep easy tonight, having been relieved of the burden of harbouring the endlessly incomprehensible mystery of "who actually listens to this stuff?" Unfortunately the solving of this mystery has created a new question to be burdened with, "am I even worthy to possess this knowledge?"
Joe Rogans BS Detector Questioned After Body Parts Found in Freezer of Recent Guest The Elephant Graveyard 2024-03-08 | Joe Rogan has found himself tangled up in some shocking breaking news involving the heinous crimes of his very recent guest Sheldon Johnson. Johnson is a convicted criminal who became a sentencing reform activist after his recent release from a 25-year prison stay. We examine Joe's role in these crimes, and predict what's next for Joe in this increasingly unbelievable timeline.
Mya Lesnar Responds to Brendan Schaubs Nasty Comments The Elephant Graveyard 2024-03-05 | Brock Lesnar's daughter Mya responds to Brendan Schaub's remarks (Real).
Brendan Schaub Incites Feud with Brock Lesnar with Vile Comments on Daughter Mya Lesnar The Elephant Graveyard 2024-03-04 | I'm a little too tired to attempt this, but none of those guys that are supposed to cover this stuff are doing so. Please sort your lives out comedy clippers. There is a feud brewing between Brock Lesnar and Brendan Schaub over some controversial comments made by Brendan and Bryan Callen about Lesnar's daughter Mya Lesnar during their live show in Austin. CORRECTION: Mya Lesnar attends Colorado State University, Brendan Schaub went to University of Colorado.
Stacys Mom (Fountains of Wayne Cover) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-02-29 | Cover of the 2003 pop-punk classic "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. Written by Adam Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood. patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com
She (Misfits Cover) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-02-22 | Cover of The Misfits 1986 track "She" written by Glenn Danzig.■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com
Elstree (The Buggles Cover) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-02-21 | A cover of The Buggles track "Elstree" from the 1980 Age of Plastic album. Written by Geoff Downes and Trevor Horn. patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com
Last Gasps of the Redacted (feat. Brendan Schaub, Joe Rogan, Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-02-18 | patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard How does one become a stand-up comedian? The question of free will touches nearly everything we care about. But free will is an illusion. Our wills are not of our own making, and our paths are determined by forces far beyond our understanding. Don't you ever wonder why you are what you are? How did I even get here? What am I even doing? Why did it all go wrong? Examining the comedy careers and fates of disgraced lawsuit loser Brendan Schaub, Joe Rogan, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer.
Love and Life in the Anti-Reality Chamber (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 5) The Elephant Graveyard 2024-01-28 | Guest host is back for a brand new broadcast live from his Anti-Reality Chamber, his impenetrable bunker on a disputed island off the coast of Vancouver Island. Join us as he takes listeners calls on love and life, relationships, Yugen and the mystery of change, and what your biggest disappointment will be in 2024. Our resident storyteller Bob shares a short story about darts and an unlikely friendship. Disclaimer: This video is a work of parody and the voices featured are impressions and not the actual people. It's an alternative dimension in the multiverse. It's a joke and a spoof, and is also not sponsored by Michelina's although they do make a wonderful product.Support: patreon.com/theelephantgraveyardhttps://theelephantgraveyard.substack...Podcast:https://theelephantgraveyard.substack...https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast...Bandcamp:https://theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp...Anything else:https://linktr.ee/theelephantgraveyard
Combos: The Pale Blue Cope with Neil DeGrasse Tyson (Preview) The Elephant Graveyard 2023-12-17 | This is a parody.After taking audiences on a voyage through the Cosmos, the iconic and infamously thirsty science man Neil DeGrasse Tyson has signed on as The Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour's newest guest host. Allow him to bring you along as he embarks on his newest adventure across New York City. Join him on his quest to discover and investigate the latest offerings found at his most beloved American fast food restaurants. Plus, hear some stories and great tunes along the way.Disclaimer: This piece is a work of parody and the voices featured are impressions and not the actual people. It's a digital puppet show from an alternate dimension in the multiverse.
Making Plans For Steven Crowder: The Shadow of Manic Repression The Elephant Graveyard 2023-11-23 | A look at the tragically vile life of former child actor turned stand-up comic turned controversial YouTube host Steven Crowder, and the Jungian mechanisms of repression that have led to the subject and his father’s co-creation of an abominable, erratic, and dysfunctional shadow monster.The shadow is that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors. The shadow contains all sorts of qualities, capacities and potential, which if not recognized and owned, maintain a state of impoverishment in the personality and deprive the person of sources of energy and bridges of connectedness with others.A dysfunctional and repressed shadow can be easily observed in most stand-up comedians and online conmen including Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Tony Hinchcliffe, Matt Walsh, Michael Knowles, and Jesse Lee Peterson. At worst, the shadow becomes inextricably entwined with abandonment anxiety so that its emergence can really feel like a matter of life or death.Thanks Poppa Crowder. Also featuring Mike and Jules from Redbar, Arthur, Amy Schumer, Steven Crowder's wife Hilary, their dog, Candace Owens, Islam, the Quran, ISIS guys, The Great Santini, Bryan Callen, and Brendan Schaub and XTC.
Paranormal Activity (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 3) The Elephant Graveyard 2023-11-03 | Our guest host returns to pilot The Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour. Broadcasted live on Halloween night, cracking open the phone lines to take your calls, sharing your scariest, most unexplained stories. Encounters with demons, manifestations, hallucinations, infestations, ghouls, spooks, werewolves, aliens, UFO abductions, the Shadow Hat Man, shadow people, sleep paralysis demons, and more. Remember Coast To Coast AM with Art Bell? Well like that. We also tackle a bit of Winnipeg music history, Neil Young, the truth about the sewer system, and the important topic of mental health with the help of our sponsor MyBrainReset. Ditch the overpriced therapist today, and download MyBrainReset. Restore your brain to its factory settings with the world's most cutting edge mental health app. Disclaimer: This podcast is a work of parody, satire, and arguably, comedy. The voices used are impressions and not the actual people. Sponsored by MyBrainReset.com: Restore You Brain to Its Factory Settings Today■ Patreon patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Substack theelephantgraveyard.substack.com■ Paypal paypal.me/TheElephantGraveyard■ Donate paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=Y3H44QN7LNF7N ■ Podcast theelephantgraveyard.substack.com/podcast■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com■ IG instagram.com/tuskdustReuploaded due to tech-diffs.00:00 Introduction and Explanation of New Schemes06:00 Cinnamon Girl and Neil Young's Origins10:47 Neil Young's Rare Forgotten Demo Tape13:31 Responds to His Haters16:18 Mental Health Advice From MyBrainReset.com (Sponsored Content)20:21 Short Story: The Tragic Life of Johnny Bells27:14 There is a Huge Face At the End of the City (In the Sewer)29:00 Guided Meditation: Cure For Social Anxiety From MyBrainReset.com (Sponsored Content)33:54 Activating the Phone Line, Gets an Unexpected Phone Call From the RCMP38:35 Quick Reality Check While Gets a Can of Beans to Snack On42:03 Listener Phone Calls: How Did You Find Your Famed Singer and Bandmate Fred Turner?44:19 Reflecting on Coast to Coast AM with Art Bell46:23 Listener Phone Calls: Seeing a Mysterious Face Everywhere, Hearing Voices48:23 Main Sleep Paralysis Demons: The Shadow Hat Man50:42 Recurring Sleep Paralysis Demons52:22 Recurring Traumatic Childhood Nightmares55:28 Listener Phone Calls: Haunted by a Parasitical Fear Spectre56:48 Why Did They Fire You From the CBC?58:02 Listener Feedback: "Disbelief in Free Will Is a Massive Cope"1:01:10 The Police Are Coming?1:02:45 Encounter with a Ghoul in Brandon, Manitoba1:05:28 Listener Phone Calls: Encounter With The Shadow Hat Man1:06:56 Listener Phone Calls: Disappearing Objects, Simulation Theory1:08:32 Listener Phone Calls: Shadow People in Basement1:10:02 Listener Phone Calls: Someone Is Watching Me Through My Own Eyes1:12:05 Performing an Ancient Ritual, Summoning an Actual Demon1:13:42 RCMP Attempt to Raid Bunker1:17:44 Closing Remarks
An American Quakening with Dan Carlin (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 2) The Elephant Graveyard 2023-10-17 | Join legendary historical storyteller and podcasting icon Dan Carlin as he hosts this episode of the Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour podcast live from a hot air balloon. We offered to let him host, and he agreed under the stipulations that we allow him to pick any topic he wants. He also wanted to host the show live from a hot air balloon (that we would provide.) Of course we agreed. Join Dan as he soars down the Delaware River, sharing with you the untold history of Chester, Pennsylvania, and the surprisingly tragic life of American founder William Penn.Disclaimer: This is a work of PARODY and is not the voice of the real human being named Dan Carlin.
One Last Broadcast (Elephant Graveyard Radio Hour Ep. 1) The Elephant Graveyard 2023-09-25 | This inaugural episode finds retired Canadian broadcasting and rock-and-roll legend Randy returning to the airwaves for one last broadcast. Disclaimer: This is a work of parody using impressions and the guys featured are not the actual real guys.
The Root of All Evil: Kramer Unleashes His Demon feat. Aileen Wuornos The Elephant Graveyard 2023-09-15 | Seinfeld star Michael Richards and famous psychopath Aileen Wuornos examine the evil darkness that dwells inside the heart of each and every human being, ready and waiting for the right circumstance to be brought out into the light.
Acting Coach Explains the Abrams Method Crying Techniques Seen on Reality TV The Elephant Graveyard 2023-07-26 | Abrams Academy professor John Dorchester demonstrates some of the Abrams Method core acting techniques that were used on the season premiere of Netflix's Too Hot To Handle season 5. Visit www.abramsacting.com to sign up for the most on-demand emotional acting course in Hollywood.This is a sample lesson from behind our paywall. If you would like to unlock the secrets to emoting authentically, join the likes of performers like Lorraine Bracco, Chris D'Elia, Logan Paul, Heath Ledger, Cole Barnett, Brendan Schaub, Jack Nicholson, Jake Paul, Kevin Smith, Alan Alda, Toby Maguire, and so many more, and sign up for the Abrams Method course at the Abrams Academy of Acting.#AbramsMethod
The Abrams Method: How Celebs like Logan Paul, Chris DElia, Brendan Schaub Learned to CRY on Camera The Elephant Graveyard 2023-07-17 | The Abrams Academy was founded in 1931 by legendary Hollywood actor and director Howard Abrams. After demand in his signature Abrams Method of emotive acting skyrocketed in the wake of his performance in the 1930 film It Wasn’t Me, Abrams opened up his own acting academy to share his amazing secrets with performers of all stars and stripes.The patented and proprietary Abrams Method™ soon became the industry standard for advanced emotive performance training. From screen actors, to news anchors, to podcasters, the Abrams Method remains the most highly sought after training course for every star in Hollywood.Inspired by Redbar. Featuring Howard Abrams, Chris D'Elia, Brendan Schaub, Bryan Callen, Joe Rogan, Logan Paul. redbarradio.netabramsacting.com■ Patreon patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Substack theelephantgraveyard.substack.com■ Paypal paypal.me/TheElephantGraveyard■ Donate paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=Y3H44QN7LNF7N ■ Podcast theelephantgraveyard.substack.com/podcast■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com■ IG instagram.com/tuskdust
This Is a Sad Thing: The Desolation of Schaub The Elephant Graveyard 2023-06-26 | Exploring the perils of betting on yourself to win, and the long, cold, and lonely walk to the Comedy Mothership. This video is provided for the University of Colorado Department of Psychology as part of the curriculum on denial, projection, and substance abuse. Featuring Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen from the Fighter and the Kid podcast, Werner Herzog and the demented penguin, Luke Thomas, Theo Von, the hot chip guy, Orson Welles, BGL aka Hallmark Harley aka Hella Mark Harley, Dana White, Joe Rogan, and lots of Tiger Thiccc whiskey.This is a re-upload after the original was nastily stricken down by a vile and hideous man.
The Ghost Dog of the North: Camping with Steve Wallis The Elephant Graveyard 2023-05-29 | The locals up North tell of a ghost dog. They are afraid of this ghost dog, for it has cunning greater than they, stealing from their camps in fierce winters, robbing their traps, slaying their dogs, and defying their bravest hunters. He crosses alone from the wilderness, through the smiling timber land and comes down into an open space among the trees. Here he muses for a time, howling once, long and mournfully, ere he departs.There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive. This ecstasy, this forgetfulness of living, comes to the artist, caught up and out of himself in a sheet of flame; it comes to the soldier, war-mad in a stricken field and refusing quarter; and it came to Steve, leading the pack, sounding the old wolf-cry, straining after the food that was alive and that fled swiftly before him through the moonlight.Featuring and inspired by the adventures of infamous Canadian stealth camper Steve Wallis (Camping With Steve) on YouTube. Go and give the man a follow. Also featuring Farley Mowat.
The Tragic Life of Johnny Bells The Elephant Graveyard 2023-05-26 | An old man and a small boy stood in a barren field beside a river. "Great grandpapa, why are we here?" the boy asked. "Great grandson," replied the old man, "this was once my home.""You lived in a field of mud?" the boy asked, scratching his head in confusion.The old man chuckled and scanned the field as he thought back to the old days, where as a child a quaint village once stood. In this desolate wasteland once stood a cluster of tiny homes surrounding a simple church on top of a hill."Not quite son," the old man finally replied. "There was once a village here, before the rot came."The old man took a deep breath and began to tell the boy a story about the old times.In those days, there was a man named Johnny Bells. Every Sunday, Johnny rang his bells and the townsfolk would leave their homes to go see him play. He was beloved by his neighbours, who travelled far and wide to spread the word about their town's special boy.At the Mayor's zealous recommendation, the town had even invested their collective life savings into making Johnny the next big star. They believed once word reached the outer regions, people from all over the country would flock to see the renowned Johnny Bells.But as years went by, the town was saddened to see themselves welcoming fewer visitors than any era in memory. Johnny kept playing his songs every Sunday, while the Mayor struggled to maintain the peoples' faith in Johnny Bells.Tragically, the townsfolk's faith in Johnny soon crumbled. The Mayor's persistent insistence that Johnny was a star had simply become part of the everyday ambience of the village. This heavily frustrated the Mayor who in desperation began holding mandatory town hall meetings where the villagers were forced to listen to Johnny's bells and exuberantly praise his songs.But the Mayor's grasp on the village was weakening, and his methods quickly turned cruel and unusual. The compulsory town halls became hopelessly grim, as the townsfolk endured months of abuse at the Mayor's hand. Eventually the townsfolk had enough of Johnny. Nearly everyone in town took an opportunity to attack Johnny in the street if he happened by. Finally matters escalated, and the villagers savagely kidnapped Johnny. They dragged him to the river's edge where they tied an iron bell to his legs and threw him into the frigid water.The Mayor knew his days were numbered. He fled town on horseback but was quickly caught in a nearby forest. The townsfolk dragged him back to the village, where they pulverized him into a mushy pink paste. They took the paste and spread it into a thin layer to dry out in the sun. Afterwards, the dried mush was ground into a fine powder and tilled into the farm soil as fertilizer. But to this day, deep under the surface of the river, Johnny still plays his songs. And curious visitors finally began to travel to the village to hear it. Plunging their heads under the river's surface, intrigued travellers can hear Johnny's song endlessly ring out as the river's current rattles his bones against the large iron bell."Please great grandpapa," the boy pleaded, "I want to hear Johnny's song."The old man smiled. He picked up a rock, and with it he cracked the river's freshly formed ice. He and the boy plunged their heads underneath the surface of the cold water together.*Bong*"I hear it!" exclaimed the boy, with ice cold water dripping off his head. "I hear Johnny!"*Dong*"The bells from the deep, that's him," said the old man. "He's a star now.""When I grow up, I want to be a star too," said the boy.The old man smiled as he pulled out two cigarettes from his breast pocket. He lit them both, and handed one to the boy. "Thanks great grandpapa," said the boy, shivering as he puffed on his cigarette. They began their long walk back home, both blowing smoke and daydreaming about Johnny and his song. The sun was slowly setting over the empty field, as Johnny's song rang out for nobody underneath the cold river.
Joe Rogan is Being Attacked: Help Save Him, So He Can Save Us The Elephant Graveyard 2023-04-24 | Donate now and help save Joe Rogan with Christians For Joe. Over the coming days, you will see for yourself the attacks coming in, from every corner of society, to take Joe down. Visit christiansforjoe.com right now and donate as much as the Lord knows you can to help save Joe Rogan from these relentless spiritual attacks. Joe raises all of us and our kin, with his brilliant words that flow from his mouth through the airwaves, to our hearts, minds and to our souls. But they want to stop that. They want to obstruct those words from reaching your soul. We can't let them. www.christiansforjoe.comLegal disclaimer: That is not the real voice of Pat Robertson and this is in fact a parody.
Joe Rogans Inspiring Message to Women on Navigating the Online World of Social Media The Elephant Graveyard 2023-04-16 | There is no shortage of deeply inspirational Joe Rogan moments available on YouTube. Whether he is opining about the importance of struggle in one's life, or the effort deficit plaguing modern society, Joe Rogan always offers a refreshingly novel take on contemporary problems we encounter in the information age. Rogan recently shined a light on the behaviour of women on social media platforms, and his wise message may change your life. And while social media is a brand new invention, the surprising solutions to its dangers can actually be found in the ancient world.Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.Thank him. One of only 1000 heroic comedians on his earth. A modern philosopher who made it big in the new media world of podcasting with fresh takes on new age problems.
Dying For Your Attention (Instrumental) The Elephant Graveyard 2023-04-06 | Instrumental track from: youtube.com/watch?v=mseACA9pmGMShout out to Christopher Williams. Thank 'em.
Dying For Your Attention: Brendan Schaub vs Hella Mark Harley feat. Redbar The Elephant Graveyard 2023-04-02 | What are we doing here? Documenting the Hella Mark Harley/BGL era of Brendan Schaub's storied career, the state of tfatk, deadlifting a car, the LA comedy/podcast scene, and the philosophy of Redbar. Thank them. Haters will say, what right do you have to take a baby and turn his life into some kind of mockery? Don't you ever feel guilty? He's not a performer, he's a prisoner. Look at him, look at what you've done to him! But he could leave at any time. If his was more than just a vague ambition, if he was absolutely determined to discover the truth, there's no way we could prevent him. I think what distresses them, really, is that ultimately Brendan prefers his cell.
Joe Rogans Comedy Safe Space is a Totalitarian Nightmare The Elephant Graveyard 2023-03-17 | Inspired by his owners in Spotify and the Chinese Communist Party, Joe Rogan's new Comedy Mothership is a sad stage to play out and normalize his wildest authoritarian fantasies.
What Makes This Song Great: Grunge Edition The Elephant Graveyard 2023-02-17 | Rick Beato talks with Krist Novoselic (Nirvana), Kim Thayil (Soundgarden) and some other guy about the pinnacle record in the grunge movement.#WhatMakesThisSongGreat #RickBeato
Green Hell: The Ultimate Doom of Elon Musk The Elephant Graveyard 2023-02-13 | Elon Musk manifests his cursed ancestral heritage, and fulfills his prophecy of dying on Mars. With cities, it is as with dreams: everything imaginable can be dreamed, but even the most unexpected dream is a rebus that conceals a desire or, its reverse, a fear. Cities, like dreams, are made of desires and fears, even if the thread of their discourse is secret, their rules are absurd, their perspectives deceitful, and everything conceals something else.Featuring famed emerald miner Errol Musk, Elon Musk, Spacex, Tesla, South Africa apartheid designers, child cobalt miners, Mars, Elon’s ex-wives, and an angry mob.
Rise of the Undertoad (Instrumental) The Elephant Graveyard 2023-01-09 | Rise of the Undertoad by The Elephant Graveyard. Featured in this video: youtube.com/watch?v=XiX5Nn4X-4Q
Rise of the Under Toad: The Tragic Life of Joe Rogan The Elephant Graveyard 2023-01-08 | For as far back as Duncan could remember, he and Joe had gone every summer to Dog’s Head Harbor, New Hampshire, where the miles of beach were ravaged by a fearful undertow.■ Patreon patreon.com/TheElephantGraveyard■ Substack theelephantgraveyard.substack.com■ Paypal paypal.me/TheElephantGraveyard■ Donate paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=Y3H44QN7LNF7N ■ Podcast theelephantgraveyard.substack.com/podcast■ Music theelephantgraveyard.bandcamp.com■ IG instagram.com/tuskdustWhen Joe would venture near the water, Duncan said to him "watch out for the undertow." Joe retreated, respectfully. And for three summers Joe was warned about the undertow. Duncan recalled all the phrases."The undertow is bad today.""The undertow is strong today."And for years Joe reached out for it. From the first, when he asked what it could do to you, he had only been told that it could pull you out to sea. It could suck you under and drown you and drag you away.It was Joe's fourth summer at Dog’s Head Harbor, when Duncan observed Joe watching the sea. He stood ankle-deep in the foam from the surf and peered into the waves, without taking a step, for the longest time. The family went down to the water’s edge to have a word with him."What are you looking for, dummy?" Duncan asked him."I’m trying to see the Under Toad," Joe said."The what?" said Duncan."The Under Toad," Joe said. "I’m trying to see it. How big is it?"And Duncan held his breath; he realized that all these years Joe had been dreading a giant toad, lurking offshore, waiting to suck him under and drag him out to sea. The terrible Under Toad.Would it ever surface? Did it ever float? Or was it always down under, slimy and bloated and ever-watchful for ankles its coated tongue could snare? The vile Under Toad.The Under Toad became a code phrase for anxiety. Long after the monster was clarified for Joe, they evoked the beast as a way of referring to their own sense of danger. When the traffic was heavy, when the road was icy – when depression had moved in overnight – they said to each other, "The Under Toad is strong today.""Remember," Duncan thought to himself, "how Joe asked if it was green or brown?"Duncan laughed. But it was neither green nor brown, he thought. It was me. It was you. It was the color of bad weather. It was the size of an automobile.Featuring Joe Rogan, the spectral essence of Joe Rogan’s father Joseph Rogan Sr., Duncan Trussell, the moon landing denier who punched Buzz Aldrin, and Carl Sagan.
Every Dog Has His Day: Bryan Callen’s Karmic Cancellation The Elephant Graveyard 2022-12-04 | Yeah, this is just a story of a famous dog, and the cosmic repo man who balances the karmic ledger.Featuring Bryan Callen from the Fighter and the Kid podcast, Chris D’Elia, Brendan Schaub, assault allegations, Repo Man.
This Is A Sad Thing (Instrumental) The Elephant Graveyard 2022-10-23 | Don't look at all the families and careers destroyed by alcoholism. Look at the ones that are fine. It's a majority.
An Antidote to Suffering (Instrumental) The Elephant Graveyard 2022-10-14 | Take the potion, like the used to do in ancient Greece. What else do you have?Instrumental track from this video: youtube.com/watch?v=cUvMPnowdKQ
An Antidote to Suffering: The Metamorphosis of Jordan Peterson The Elephant Graveyard 2022-07-31 | True mental health is the pursuit of a life profound and satisfying enough to justify the inevitable suffering that's part and parcel of the human condition. You have to find the antidote to the suffering. Carl Jung believed that the human psyche was geared towards some idealized heroic end. Here's mine.Featuring Jordan Peterson and Jim Jones.
A Child Like You (Instrumental) The Elephant Graveyard 2022-07-07 | A vile sanctum where he committed his many crimes, nothing now remains of the The Count of Beverly Hills' cursed mansion but its decaying husk.From: youtube.com/watch?v=vfxG9R5Sa30
A Child Like You: Bill Maher Torments Bella Thorne at Vile Club Random The Elephant Graveyard 2022-07-01 | A young woman finds herself in the darkest depths of an ancient baron's vile dwelling. Welcome to Club Random! Have a seat. Take a load off. Drink this. We're going to lift you up. Lord Maher knows what's going on in the world. And he grabs.Featuring Bella Thorne and Bill Maher. Credit to Redbar for highlighting these crimes.
Define Bullying For Me (Instrumental) The Elephant Graveyard 2022-06-06 | If I gotta die with you here, then that's how I define friendship. I want my plain to crash for real. I want it, so you can be sad. I want to die.
Define Bullying For Me: Brendan Schaub Self-Destructs The Elephant Graveyard 2022-06-05 | People these days like to throw the term bullying around. There is a difference guys, between hate, between making fun of somebody, and threats. But threatening someone's career, blackmailing them, and targeting them with belligerent aggression is principled when you've got a $500k legal council, an elite team of investigators and 300 pages of evidence to back you up.Featuring Brendan Schaub, Bryan Callen, the Fighter and the Kid Podcast, Bobby Lee, Khalyla Kuhn, TigerBelly, Joe Rogan, Trash Tuesday, the truck walk, the tfatk subreddit, the Gringo Papi, Tim Dillon, Luis J Gomez, and a how-to guide on destroying your career. Shout out to Hate Watch with Devan Costa for the cauliflower tongue joke: youtube.com/watch?v=L8sDfX1dSg4
