Uploaded June 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Most advice on abuse only helps once you're already trapped. This one is different — these are the signs that show up before a hand is ever raised.
For 23 years I worked frontline security, and I saw the same patterns play out again and again long before anyone called it abuse. Now the research has finally caught up. A landmark 2025 study by Charlot, Joel and Campbell is one of the first to statistically identify the behaviours that predict future violence — behaviours that aren't violent in themselves, which is exactly why they're so easy to miss.
In this video I walk through the seven key warning signs, what they look like in the real world, and why they cluster together. The more of them you see, and the more often they happen, the higher the statistical risk. This isn't about paranoia — it's about giving you a genuine early-warning system before you're in too deep to see clearly.
What I cover:
The seven statistically validated red flags of a future abuser
Why "love bombing" feels like the opposite of a threat — and why that's the point
How trauma bonding is deliberately manufactured to trap a partner
The role of jealousy, isolation and control disguised as devotion
The single most important practical signal: speed
If you take one thing from this video, let it be this — when something feels too good to be true too fast, slow down and watch.
✔️ Based on 2025 peer-reviewed research
✔️ Drawn from 23 years of frontline security experience
✔️ Practical signs you can actually use
📌 Real-world security, legal and life awareness for people who'd rather know than not. Subscribe to That Gear Guy.
——————————————
🔔 Subscribe for straight-talking awareness content
——————————————
Gavin De Becker - The gift Of Fear UK - amzn.to/4uWBnWg
U.S. - amzn.to/3T353no
If you or someone you know is affected by domestic abuse, you are not alone — in the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free on 0808 2000 247, 24 hours a day.
#DomesticAbuse #RedFlags #ToxicRelationships #WarningSigns #DomesticViolenceAwareness #ThatGearGuy #RelationshipAdvice #AbusiveRelationship #LoveBombing #CoerciveControl #StaySafe #KnowTheSigns
Most advice on abuse only helps once you're already trapped. This one is different — these are the signs that show up before a hand is ever raised.
For 23 years I worked frontline security, and I saw the same patterns play out again and again long before anyone called it abuse. Now the research has finally caught up. A landmark 2025 study by Charlot, Joel and Campbell is one of the first to statistically identify the behaviours that predict future violence — behaviours that aren't violent in themselves, which is exactly why they're so easy to miss.
In this video I walk through the seven key warning signs, what they look like in the real world, and why they cluster together. The more of them you see, and the more often they happen, the higher the statistical risk. This isn't about paranoia — it's about giving you a genuine early-warning system before you're in too deep to see clearly.
What I cover:
The seven statistically validated red flags of a future abuser
Why "love bombing" feels like the opposite of a threat — and why that's the point
How trauma bonding is deliberately manufactured to trap a partner
The role of jealousy, isolation and control disguised as devotion
The single most important practical signal: speed
If you take one thing from this video, let it be this — when something feels too good to be true too fast, slow down and watch.
✔️ Based on 2025 peer-reviewed research
✔️ Drawn from 23 years of frontline security experience
✔️ Practical signs you can actually use
📌 Real-world security, legal and life awareness for people who'd rather know than not. Subscribe to That Gear Guy.
——————————————
🔔 Subscribe for straight-talking awareness content
——————————————
Gavin De Becker - The gift Of Fear UK - amzn.to/4uWBnWg
U.S. - amzn.to/3T353no
If you or someone you know is affected by domestic abuse, you are not alone — in the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free on 0808 2000 247, 24 hours a day.
#DomesticAbuse #RedFlags #ToxicRelationships #WarningSigns #DomesticViolenceAwareness #ThatGearGuy #RelationshipAdvice #AbusiveRelationship #LoveBombing #CoerciveControl #StaySafe #KnowTheSigns
