The age of Kaplan is over. The age of Keller has come.
Started this just after Jeff quit (reee), was just gonna be the whole song at first but it was taking too long and was struggling with the lyrics, so sorta gave up. But managed to salvage it into this video in time for the OW2 release. Despite all the negativity, the game will probably be fine, a standard F2P affair, but the new dev updates are not very good for editing and it's been like 5 years of this shit now so... Could this be the last video? Might make more vids around OW2 but no promises. The channel limps on. Does anyone even care at this point? Cya next year!
Eternal thanks to my patrons: mstar27 Noah Kittleson Dieter Ekström JaredJaredJared celebrir Eden Shapiro Moisture Scott WaltersBlizzConline Opening Ceremony: a quick rundowndinoflask2021-02-24 | warning: this quick rundown contains no nutritional value and is for entertainment purposes only.
blizzconline was pretty good, all things considered. really just waiting for the OW2 dev updates to start. new material, OW dead game etc etc. i can't work with these jeff from home developer updates. i don't like them. so hopefully a return to normal dev updates is coming soon.
super quick video. i forced this video to be short to prevent it getting stuck in editing hell, where it would have remained until a blizzconline video would have felt "outdated". anything that felt like it was gonna take more than an hour i cut out, and i didn't go for anything beyond the opening ceremony. could have added some of that in i suppose. but at what cost? usually i detail here what the next video will be, but i think every single time i've done that i've not delivered. so i wont do that again today. i have some half finished thing, maybe i'll finally finish them, maybe i wont. maybe i'll try some shorter videos. whatever.
as always, a big thank you to my patrons: Scott Walters Alpharius Moisture Dylan Wilkinson Eden Shapiro celebrir JaredJaredJared Dieter Ekström Matthias Noah Kittleson mstar27Jeff Kaplan: Yuleposting 2020dinoflask2020-12-18 | the yule logs are lit. Kaplan calls for aid.
i unironically started this video on the 6th january 2020 with the goal of getting it out before feb. the first thing i did was the widowmaker ass bauble, and the tree falling over. then my dreams of uploading died because i spent the best part of a month frame-by-frame animating a plate of cookies spilling onto the floor (this ultimately makes up about half a second of the total video). you'd think, after over 3 years of making videos, i'd have gotten better at this. oh well. i worked a little bit on this throughout the year and then panicked when it was suddenly nearly christmas again. would this really drag on until christmas 2021?! no i said, i'm making a stand. so i finished it.
it's been 7 months i think since the last upload, which is quite a long time. there's not really been any big overwatch happenings this year. and no overwatch 2 news (when ow2 finally makes an appearance i intend to rise from the ashes). also i didn't want to make anything over the last 7 months. leave me alone. even when my channel seems to have finally breathed its last breath, just know that i'm still here. tracking jeff's movements. slowly working away. animating a plate of cookies frame by frame, or something.
this video also contains 7 hidden winter wonderland lootbox codes, generously provided by Blizzard. there's six 5x codes and one 24x code. if you managed to find one and redeem it, please leave a comment so i know when they're all redeemed. wouldn't want one to be missed and be left unused. i don't think they're that hard to find. but I know exactly where they are. because I put them there...
heartfelt thanks as always to my active patrons who put up with my questionable upload schedule: Scott Walters JaredJaredJared Alpharius Moisture Dylan Wilkinson Eden Shapiro celebrir Dieter Ekström MatthiasJeff Kaplan: Echo lore and Overwatch 2 detailsdinoflask2020-04-13 | thanks jeff.
subtitles available.
yep, another one. once again i've spent listened to this video so many times i have lost the ability to accurately evaluate if it's actually funny or entertaining anymore. i had my standing desk deployed whilst editing most of this so at least my bones aren't rotting quite as fast as they usually do. this video was slightly delayed by a Dallas Fuel promo i did, which you can see here: tinyurl.com/w4czu4q
i'm going to stop trying to detail what video is coming up next in these descriptions, as the last 3 or so times i've said what's up next turns out to not be that at all. but the state of things is as follows: - i started, and made significant progress with, editing the yule log footage from last year, with the ultimate goal of getting it out by the end of jan. that shifted to the end of feb. then i stopped because it was getting embarrassingly late. maybe i'll finish it for next christmas, because it was coming along quite nicely. or i could release it """ironically""" in the peak of summer. - i shelved the tigole rant late last year and plan on returning to that very soon. the problem here was that i couldn't get the visuals to work, it felt like a bad video. so i'm cutting it down massively. you'll see. i'm also cautious that maybe a lot of people don't even know what the tigole rant is, so i guess it'll need explaining somehow in the video. - like i said before, i recorded the editing process for the tigole rant so will eventually upload that as a "how it's made" style video, which might stop people thinking i have some super sophisticated system for editing these videos. i don't. it's a hellishly inefficient system that causes me much pain. but also much joy. - a country roads parody song was in the works but that's also not been touched in a while. it had promise though. - i started an edit of a jeff/stylosa interview ages ago, that's probably all irrelevant now. but maybe i'll get back to this.
basically if there's anything in the list above that you think i shouldn't bother with, or that sounds good, let me know in the comments. it's hard work getting these done and it takes a lot of time, so if i know what people want more of i can focus on that.
or maybe you just want more developer update parodies. will i ever be free of this prison?
A big thank you to all my generous supporters and their infinite patience with my upload schedule: Clundor Scott Walters Bulby Diceycle Alpharius Moisture Dylan Wilkinson Ryan Peterson DatapawWolf Eden Shapiro Celebrir JustinJeff Kaplan: the Sigma barrier meta, and other controversiesdinoflask2019-10-11 | thanks jeff.
subtitles available.
it wasn't meant to be like this. my next upload was supposed to be a visual interpretation of the jeff tigole rant but it was shelved at 90% completion on account of my creative bankruptcy. considering it's so nearly finished, maybe the next upload wont be months away? who knows, who cares. i swapped to doing this video as a """break""" from the tigole rant, which became something of a prison for me. but editing this gave me RSI in my wrist and a bad back. life is pain. take a drink everytime jeff says "umm" or "uhh".
the bulk of this video was finished by the time the blitzchung controversy started. i didn't want to rework the entire video so you'll have to make do with an after-credits only on that subject. blizzcon should be extra spicy this year...
sometimes i can't believe i'm still making these videos after 3 years. aren't you bored yet? do you guys not have standards?
A big thank you to all my generous supporters each of whom gives me a reason to get up in the morning (in no particular order): Clundor Augustus Bebbington Bulby Kaitlyn Cold EdYetii DatapawWolf Ryan Peterson Dylan Wilkinson Moisture Diceycle Jordan One Matt Pinaud Scott Walters AlphariusJeff Kaplan: new lore teasers and story development insightsdinoflask2019-05-31 | thanks jeff.
subtitles available.
here we are again. i'm back. tell your friends. like overwatch's storyline, the format of these videos hasn't changed in over 3 years. i guess i'll stop making them when you people stop watching them. the previous one did surprisingly well, but i've chalked that up to the fact that it broke a 4 month hiatus and it ragged on blizzard pretty hard after the whole blizzcon smartphone thing. this one also breaks a 4 month hiatus. oops.
i've started a 2nd channel: youtube.com/channel/UCkkmaWRJAgWp04KffWEc9pQ i'll likely populate it with the tattered remains of my unfinished projects, things i didn't want to put on dinoflask 1, and some of the short things i sometimes make for twitter. someone ages ago once asked for the "you reposted in the wrong developer update" video but without the music. if anyone wants stuff like that from any of my old videos then leave a comment on the other channel and i'll see what i can do. my hope is that dinoflask 2 will contrast dinoflask 1 by becoming a place i can upload quicker / shorter things without having to spend ages polishing the final product. and then maybe that will translate into more uploads on dinoflask 1. who knows?
A big thank you to all my generous supporters each of whom I love dearly: Clundor Augustus Bebbington bulby Denys Dvortsov Ryan Peterson Diceycle Scott Walters Alpharius Mat2095 Matt Pinaud Moisture Jordan One DatapawWolf Dylan WilkinsonJeff Kaplan: Ashe changes and the state of Blizzarddinoflask2019-01-08 | thanks jeff. subtitles available.
4 long months of no videos, each day without uploading weighing upon my soul more heavily than the last. this just took ages because i have other priorities in life. i did totally mean to get it out earlier though, 4 months just flew by so fast. also the after credits scene alone delayed the release by at least 2 days. it's like a minute long, what the fuck was i thinking. but anywhere here it is. i hope it's everything you dreamed it would be.
i've got an idea for a shorter video that i should be able to get out fairly quickly after this one, but i'm pretty sure i say that every single time. maybe i'll synchronise my upload schedule with the rate at which michael chu puts out lore, then at least when it takes me months to do anything i'll feel like it's not entirely my fault.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters. I should really check this list is up to date... LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric Cintrondva_shitpost.mp4dinoflask2018-09-02 | Twenty years ago, South Korea was attacked by a colossal bespectacled monstrosity that rose from the depths of the East China Sea. The massive, lumbering game director caused catastrophic damage to the balance of Overwatch before he was driven back beneath the waves. In response, the South Korean government developed a mechanized armored drone unit, called MEKA, to protect urban environments in future engagements with the omnic threat. In reality, this defence force basically boiled down to a single fucking girl who plays video games. The future is pretty wacky, right?
I have new software so it looks a bit less shit than the usual frame-by-frame editing I have to do for motion tracking. And it actually didn't take forever to complete! Is this the dawn of a new era for my dying channel? Who knows. Next vid god knows when I've stopped trying to maintain the illusion that I have any sort of schedule.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters. I should really check this list is up to date... LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplans Official Overwatch World Cup Endorsementdinoflask2018-07-06 | acquire shirts, support Team UK: teespring.com/7lionsow#pid=389&cid=100019&sid=front
propaganda made for Team UK. was probably unlikely to ever do an esports related video myself, so agreeing to make a promo video for Team UK seemed like a good excuse to upload more than once a month. wait has it been a month since the last one? 10th june, hell yeah i'm 4 days ahead of the curve! go me!
next vid probably gonna be a hammod vid. with a twist? get ready to *SNAP*, because it's heading straight for your cringe compilations.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplan: addressing the Brigitte stun metadinoflask2018-06-10 | thanks jeff. subtitles available.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand my upload schedule. The timings are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of advanced procrastination most of my uploads will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jeff's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Zarya literature, for instance. My fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about JEFF. As a consequence people who dislike my videos truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Jeff's existential catchphrase "What's up everyone, this is Jeff from the Overwatch team," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Gravitons and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as my genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them.
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Jeff Kaplan tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for Blizzard employee eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 SR points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid.
went a month without uploading. oops. next vid will be around the 5th of July hopefully. i've finally purchased the parts for a new computer, so i am hoping to expand the type of videos i create in the near future. possibly have a crack at SFM, and will be able to actually record gameplay at a fair framerate. don't worry, not planning on going down the memetage route though. i say i'll have a new computer "in the near future", but it's gonna take at least another month before the parts are all delivered. anyway, i'm boring myself here with this lame ass description.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronThis is J̶e̶f̶f̶ TIM from the Overwatch teamdinoflask2018-04-29 | What is his endgame? Only time will tell...
I hope Jeff has more special guests in the future. This was fun to make. This was supposed to be a quick, short video but I've had very little time for editing these last few weeks. Blah blah usual story. I've got two other videos in the works: one is the standard "make the funny words come out of Jeff's mouth" dev update style, the other is similar... but different. Not sure when they'll be done, I'll keep chipping away at them.
My special request to Blizzard is a Kaplan x Hawley developer update. Pls make it so.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronSteamed Hams but its Michael Chu delivering Overwatch loredinoflask2018-04-08 | subtitled sunday shitpost.
alternate title: steamed hams but it isn't funny and it's gone way too far and for some reason i thought editing in the mouths was a good idea which caused this video to consume my entire life for the past two weeks and i can't even monetize it.
but no seriously this video has been my personal hell. it's the closest i have ever been to just saying "fuck it" and uploading it unfinished. but here we are. and here it is. it's still a little rough around the edges, but if i spend another fucking second positioning mouths i'm going to delete my life. i'm finally free...
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplan: Hero 28 details and Hanzo changesdinoflask2018-03-03 | thanks jeff subtitles available, if you're into that sort of thing.
had this like 80% finished when brigette released, thought it was better to upload as is rather than delay even further by making new brigette based content. getting the ball rolling with this one felt particularly hard, which is why there is over a month between this video and the last one. at least i don't have to make a thumbnail. i've got plans for some measures i can take to speed up making these videos, so maybe the next one might not be too far away, but no promises. might also be getting a new PC soon so will actually be able to edit and record stuff much better. may try some other styles of content, lose all my subscribers and then delete my channel.
(also blizzard, the audio balance on the last dev update was a bit off, pls don't do this to me.)
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronYule Log 2.0dinoflask2018-01-25 | timely festive meme
glad i got this out in time for new yea- oh. will jeff be able to handle what 2018 has in store? only time will tell.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir MerchantJeff Kaplan: New Year changes and OWL team announcementdinoflask2017-12-28 | thanks jeff subtitles available, as always.
what's an upload schedule? would have liked to get this out before christmas, but ah well. it's been just over a year since i started shitposting. thanks for watching everyone. expecting the following year to be filled with irregular uploads of stale memes, unless you all stop watching, in which case i guess i'll just fuck off.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Syy Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplan: One-Trick Paradedinoflask2017-11-25 | WHEN I WAS
subtitles available (and recommended). god this took a fucking long time.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: A S LionK72 Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplan: leaked Blizzcon 2017 rehearsal speechdinoflask2017-11-03 | jeff's wayward rehearsal (GONE SEXUAL)
subtitles available.
next video will be a blizzcon based vlog hopefully. this was a scheduled upload, so i should be there right now, recording some delicious footage. the gap between the last upload and this one has been longer than i'd like. this was kinda of rushed. busy times. please understand.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Caleb Santiago Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplan: the consequences of toxic behaviourdinoflask2017-09-21 | thanks jeff.
subtitles available. how come a company as large as blizzard can't hire a dedicated team to handle reports, so that other new content doesn't get delayed? perhaps we'll never know...
likely to be another video following fairly shortly. critics are calling it "absolute shit" and "irredeemable garbage". stay tuned!
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronWelcome to Season 6dinoflask2017-08-30 | season 6 hype. a small taste of things to come. i look forward to seeing how blizzard tackles the current problems with competitive.
expect a developer update style video next. i've got a backlog of dev updates to watch. thanks for watching!
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Caleb Santiago Cardiotherapy Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronJeff Kaplan: competitive Lucio Ball, console reporting and the next hero cinematic.dinoflask2017-08-07 | thanks jeff
subtitles available, if necessary. hope this one was spicy enough for ya. i've listened to jeff for so long now that i can't separate him from my own subconscious voice. such is the price i must pay.
A big thank you to all my generous supporters: LionK72 Feegert Jamie McCluskey Zahir Merchant Eric CintronS A V E H O Gdinoflask2017-08-01 | rip in hook roadhog 2016 - 2017 will the upcoming changes to roadhog revive him from the dead? probably not.
just a short vid. sometimes i like to take a break from making jeff say things. pls respond ➡ http://www.strawpoll.me/13595191 as ever, stay tuned for more videos.
In an effort to have a variety of winners, I picked my favorites from the following general categories: digital art, traditional art (pen / pencil / paint etc), physical creations (puppets, sculptures, figures, cosplays etc) and an open category (the video game took this one). the only thing differentiating tier 1 and tier 5 is a set of magnets, a hat and that widowmaker figure, so after deliberating over the order of the prizes for ages i just went with what felt right.
- Runners up: Blizzard have graciously permitted me to submit 10 entries; the associated Battle.net accounts will receive (fuck, just realised I spelt "receive" wrong in the video...) an amount of Battle.net balance to spend on juicy lootboxes, or whatever. - Tier 4: there were some cool sculptures submitted, but an undress-able Jeff puppet was a very unique entry. - Tier 3: quite a personal choice. i just really liked the artstyle of this one, which earned it the prize over some of the more realistic, "higher skilled" sketches and paintings of Jeff - Tier 2: the attention to detail in recreating many different character abilities earned this game the prize over other video game entries, and it was genuinely fun to play. - Tier 1: love the style of this one. new channel art ahoy.
If you see a piece of artwork you created here but you didn't enter, or if your entry won and you haven't received an email by tomorrow, let me know at dinoflask@gmail.com
prizes freshly snatched from blizzard hq. this is a chance to give a small something back to my wonderful fans!
I have deliberately left the entry requirements a little ambiguous. you can send me any form of Jeff. some of you have raised concerns that it's more of a contest, not a giveaway, and are lamenting the fact you have to have some creative skill to be in with a chance of winning. so I'll award two of the prizes randomly, selected from all entries. sound fair?
Prize Tiers: 1) box of signed posters, Widowmaker Pop Vinyl, magnet set, uprising patch, orisa stickers, overwatch hat 2, 3) box of signed posters, magnet set, uprising patch, orisa stickers 4, 5) box of signed posters, uprising patch, orisa stickers. winners selected at random for tiers 4 and 5
this is a video, produced for the overwatch team, commemorating Jeff's 15 year anniversary at blizzard. they flew me out to blizzard hq to be there to join the celebration, which was a lot of fun! a video for a giveaway of some signed overwatch stuff will be following shortly.
i know that a lot of the humor in this video relates to specific blizzard things, not much of the usual stuff, and so it might not be as fun for most of you. but i still wanted to upload it here for completeness, and also so you guys know why i haven't released a video in a while. i aim to upload a regular style video soon! thanks for your patience, may jeff bless you all.
for context: - Green hills of stranglethorn: by his own admission, the worst quest jeff has ever produced - WoW voice chat: badly implemented and not really used by anybody, acknowledged by blizzard as a poor feature - Matt Hawley: employee at blizzard, worked with jeff on WoW voice chat, now part of the overwatch team.
forgive me for this hot trash. this was going to be the video for Platinum All-Stars, but i wasn't happy with it. this is how far i got before giving up. i'm not proud of this, but it still seemed a shame for it to go to waste.
so here it is, half finished and featuring some of the choppiest video editing i have ever done.
lyrics: Somebody once told me, That ranked is gonna roll me. I’m better off in quickplay instead I thought that sounds really dumb, Surely ranked is much more fun So I queue, thoughts of gold guns in my head.
Well, the salt starts coming and it don’t stop coming. Matched against pre-mades, no point in running. Telling myself that I play for fun. But if you don’t heal, I’m fucking done. If you don’t change, I’ll throw this game, I don’t care if Hanzo is your main. I swear I’ll pick Torb on attack, then uninstall never look back.
Hey now, you’re a platinum, lock your main and go play. Hey now, got to rank up, got to earn that cool spray. And all my guns will be gold. No-one goes through ranked without getting trolled.
My last ranked game, could not have gone badder. I’m losing each game, cant climb up the ladder. So to help me get up to grandmaster, I’m putting out a patch that helps me rank up faster. I wonder if, what you guys say is true. That changes that I make, make the game worse for you. But overwatch belongs to me. That’s the way I like it and I’ll do as I please.
Hey now, you’re a platinum, lock your main and go play. Hey now, got to rank up, got to earn that cool spray. And all my guns will be gold. No-one goes through ranked without getting trolled. x2