I only did it for the Calculator WatchYou know the score with Inferno by now - try and put out a MASSIVE FIRE with a TINY CUP OF WATER and you will DEFINITELY DIE TRYING.
Inferno (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 33)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-08-30 | You know the score with Inferno by now - try and put out a MASSIVE FIRE with a TINY CUP OF WATER and you will DEFINITELY DIE TRYING.
Outro Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comDerby Dash (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 41 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2021-11-26 | I always lose all my Euros on Derby Dash no matter what the computer format is and I always will
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comDo Your Sums (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 40 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2021-11-24 | Do you want to DO YOUR SUMS? Well you can't, because even though that's the name of this game, what we're actually served is a dice simulator (in the 1983 version) and a rudimentary musical composition tool (in the 1984 version).
Cassette 50 is not just content with serving up absolute dross, it's now taken to straight up lying. I love you Cassette 50. I love you.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comDynamite (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 39 )I only did it for the Calculator Watch2021-09-23 | Indulge your fantasy of running around a room trying to extinguish sticks of dynamites until you are blown into a thousand million billion pieces. And hear a lovely tune while you're at it! (Well, before you start at least. Maybe if you spent less time listening to the music and more time extinguishing dynamites then you wouldn't be dead).
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comBlack Hole (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 38 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2021-06-28 | Two versions of Black Hole here. The 1983 version is pretty much identical to the Atari 8 bit and Acorn Electron versions. The 1984 game on the other hand - well, I don't have a clue what's going on.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comI only did it for the Calculator Watch Live StreamI only did it for the Calculator Watch2020-03-22 | ...Planets (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 37 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2020-02-13 | Two completely different versions of Planets here, and the 1984 version is actually a pretty good RTS, chronicling the fight between the Thebans and the Spartans. VERY ambitious by Cassette 50 standards. Needless to say, I'm absolutely rubbish at it.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comSubmarine (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 35)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2020-01-15 | Indiscriminately destroy some other submarines without even questioning why you might be doing this. You bastard.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comGhosts (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 game 34)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-10-25 | Remember the numbers. Repeat them back. Not a ghost to be seen. Unless it's the ghost of any enthusiasm I ever had for Cassette 50.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comPhaser (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 31 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-05-03 | 1983 - Move but of the way before the phaser gets on top of you. Rude. 1984 - Shoot at blobs. Forever and ever, without purpose or end. Good metaphor for me playing through all these versions of Cassette 50.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comJet Flight (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 30 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-04-28 | Cassette 50 serves up two different versions of Jet Flight on the Dragon 32. The 1983 version is about trying to fly your plane though a curously croweded sky, a complete failure of air traffic control. The 1984 version is weirdly based on the light cycle scenes in Tron. Don't ask.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comSmash the Windows (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 28 - 1983 and 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-03-15 | What would you rather do - crack a safe or play a shit version of Pong? Why not do both! (not that the same time though)
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comSitting Target (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 27)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-03-01 | So here's the plan - we walk over a bunch of launching missiles and hope that one of them doesn't shoot itself right up you. Sounds good eh? Yeah. Let's do it.
The 1983 version of Overtake is also exactly the same (minus sound effects) as the Dragon 32 1984 version of Motorway: youtube.com/watch?v=qbHMakTRWzg
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comCannon Ball Battle (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 25)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-02-10 | Want to play a game called Cannon Ball Battle where there are NO Battles and NO Cannons? Cassette 50, as ever, can provide for this experience.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comBarrel Jump (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 24)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-02-01 | Jump over this barre!. Then jump over 2! Then jump over 3...oh, wait, you've fallen over and broken your face. Sorry.
See the Commodore 64 version of Barrel Jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRrpv... See the ZX Spectrum version of Barrel Jump: youtube.com/watch?v=QMxWp4HLULk See the Atari 8-bit version of Barrel Jump: youtube.com/watch?v=u3esksY-ilI See the Acorn Electron of Barrel Jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGYSr... See the ZX81 version of Barrel Jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8twz3...
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comTunnel Escape (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 game 23)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-01-20 | Time to find the safe room. The safe room is where you never have to play any Cassette 50 games ever again. Please bring me that sweet relief.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comForce Field (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 21)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2019-01-04 | They're back! You know - the Spongs. And the Gulpers. Spongs and Gulpers. They'll eat anything, the greedy fools.
Music by Flange Circus: HTTPS://flangecircus.bandcamp.comMotorway (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 20 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-12-29 | Take your pick with what is the most hazaradous - 1983's two lane motorway with one other car on the road that seem painfully unaware that you're trying to get past and merely swerves into you, or 1984's version where you have to jump to overtake.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comThin Ice (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 18)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-12-17 | There's noting I like to do more than guess how long it takes a piece of ice to melt. I'm glad that Cassette 50 has me covered in this respect so i can play this game all year round.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comOld Bones (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 17 - 1983 & 1984 versions0I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-12-07 | Did you know that what every waiter wants to do when they go to work in a restaurant is catch pies thrown at them from the ceiling? Well, they do! This game is proof. 100% accurate simulation.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comSki Jump (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 15)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-11-18 | I can't help but think the sport of ski jumping would be made all the more exciting if all the competitors jumped immediately after another as in this game.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comIvasive Action (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 11 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-10-20 | If there was a danger that you couldn't walk home without falling into a marsh full of crocodiles then you should probably move house.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comGalactic Dogfight (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 9 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-09-15 | Galactic DogFight here on the Dragon 3 where, in the 1984 version at least, the relationship between the actual game and its name is very, very tenuous.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comAttacker (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 8)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-07-13 | Another Cassette 50 simulation of a game that doesn’t actually exist in the real world (or does it...?), Attacker has you trying to get your puck through a small opening and other such euphemisms.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comRadar Landing (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 7 - 1983 and 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-07-12 | It's Radar Landing...or in the case of the 1984 version...Flight Simulation? Either way it's two more flying dog turds from the Cassette 50 family.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comStar Trek (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 6 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2018-02-27 | Here's some more Star Trek for your eyes, courtesy of the Dragon 32 version of Cassette 50. There's 2 different versions and, true to form, I have absolutely no idea what is going on in either of them.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comPlasma Bolt (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 5 - 1983 and 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-11-19 | This game is so good* it will make you shoot your (plasma) bolt. Bucking the trend we've had thus far with the Dragon 32 Cassette 50 (though, to be fair, we are only on Game 5) the 1983 version is better than the 'enhanced' 1984 version.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comLunar Lander (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 4)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-11-18 | Here's my hot-take for you - if you're not an amazing space ship pilot, don't try and land on a dangerous planet, especially when flying something that takes "a little time to react to the engines" (i.e. a really fucking long time to react to the engines, so much so that you're dead before you know it).
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comSpace Mission (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 3 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-06-07 | There's a 1983 an a 1984 version of this game, and they're a vastly different. The 1983 version - well, it's just shit. Plus ça change. But the 1984 version - well, I can't think of many multi-screen Cassette 50 games on any of the formats. So it gets bonus points or that, and for its big colourful graphics. It's still shit, mind you.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comGalactic Attack (Dragon 32 Cassette 50 Game 2 - 1983 & 1984 versions)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-05-17 | Galactic Attack (in the 1984 version at least) gives us the answer to the question "How Many Martians landing on earth would it take for the planet to be colonised?". The answer is 10. Ten. Just Ten.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comExchange (Atari 8-bit Cassette 50 Game 50)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-04-27 | Thanks Ron Smith for serving up this confusing smorgasbord to top off the Atari 8-bi Cassette 50. (After I recorded this video I worked out what I was doing wrong. Don't worry)
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comThe Force (Atari 8-bit Cassette 50 Game 49)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-04-25 | So there's this Force Field, right, and it's coming right towards you, and if you don't step to the left or the right at the correct moment, then you'll be a dead. A Dead. Why this has to be, I can't tell you. It just is.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comHigh Rise (Atari 8-bit Cassette 50 Game 48)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-04-20 | When someone is throwing themselves I'm pretty sure that it's standard practice to just send one person with a flimsy blanket to catch them.
- The Psychedelic rotation of colours that they describe as "Fog" - The breaking of my legs should I fail to land on a very, very, VERY small part of the screen - The ERROR 3 AT LINE 2600 message is the best part of the game.
Music by Flange Circus: flangecircus.bandcamp.comTanker (Atari 8-bit Cassette 50 Game 45)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-04-11 | Wind is not your friend. Wind is your enemy. Especially when you're trying to navigate a Tanker down a canal, and said Tanker seems to be made of paper. What cargo are you supposed to be transporting? Your boat hardly seems practical.
Music by Flange Circus: https://flangecircus.bandcamp.cpomUniverse (Atari 8-bit Cassette 50 Game 43)I only did it for the Calculator Watch2017-03-24 | "Black hole sun / won't you come / and rescue the people who are about to die horribly?"
If only they had been the words to the Soundgarden hit.